Just Back From My Second Visit To Thailand

[SinglePot]

You know what has always cracked me up and still does? Whenever I visit my home country there is always at least one less adventurous individual that asks me "how can you enjoy being in a relationship that you essentially have to pay for?".

Why do they ask you that?

Because his gf is Thai?

Think about it before you post too quick.

[SinglePot]

I don't know about the other posters here but I would rather spend the last years of my life in Thailand with someone to (take care) of me, with all the problems that (may?) bring, assuming that I would have some control over the situation, than to sit waiting in an old peoples home back in the UK with a knife and fork in my hand at 9am for dinner at 12...YOU will pay for both but I would suggest that the former is the best option:rolleyes: and in the end cheaper.....

But of course someone with good sense can arrange to get the benefits you're talking about, and lots more, without giving up control over their assets. Using the traditional "love" and marriage models as the basis for these arrangements is of course one of the primary flaws many make. Avoiding this doesn't need to mean less intimacy in personal relationships, just better not to become to dependent on any one source of the more essential services, not put all your eggs in one basket and as much as possible keep things on a professional footing. And it does take a certain amount of vigilance and discipline, willingness to walk away if/when the cost/benefit equation of one's arrangements start to slide.

And those that find the discipline to walk away need the added ability of also being able to move on and accept not all situations mirror their own experience........otherwise, as we see, they swill around in a whirlpool of self pity and bitterness

On the other hand, those that have the discipline to maintain the proper stance from the beginning are more likely to maintain the satisfaction of the relationship properly and allow it to last longer.It's being the one that doesn't give up control, more ready to walk away than the other, it's the PERCEPTION of that stance that gives relative power, even if it's not true you've got to make sure she still believes it.Never let her think that you would let "love" - no matter how genuine your real love is - override your common sense and ability to protect your interests.

Sounds like there is a lot of 'conditional' stuff in this line of thought PalMan?

Protect your interests. OK fine. Then ....who do you choose?

[SinglePot]

Excellent job!! Are you planning a permanent move to the LOS to be with your thai girlfriend???

planning on starting a business there building western style furniture with the help of my gf and her family, also starting the same thing here in scotland, the plan so far is to split my year between the 2 countries,hopefully spending most of the year in thailand depending on how the business and relationship progress, see how it goes from there

Jolly good. Second visit and 245 posts later...things seem to be moving in the right direction.

[SinglePot]

Same old story , Farang who cannot get a decent woman in his own country comes to Thailand and suddenly finds LOVE with a young and pretty lady who makes him believe that he is the most handsome man she has ever seen, as long as he is willing to finance whatever project she or her family have in mind !!

Just wait and see what comes after that !!

EGO MAKES MEN DEAF & BLIND & In Thailand even Morons !!

we met online over a year ago and chatted and got to know each other for about 6 months before we even decided we wanted to meet !

A long, "deliberation phase"

Always best to go slowly! Ain't that right PalMan?

[SinglePot]

sorry for hogging the thread guys.

If you miss her you miss her.

cheers

[David48]

Excellent job!! Are you planning a permanent move to the LOS to be with your thai girlfriend???

planning on starting a business there building western style furniture with the help of my gf and her family, also starting the same thing here in scotland, the plan so far is to split my year between the 2 countries,hopefully spending most of the year in thailand depending on how the business and relationship progress, see how it goes from there

Finally, something for me to sink my teeth into ...

With any small business, whether in Thailand, Scotland or Timbuktu.

• Have you done a Business Plan?

• A cash flow plan?

• Looked at what competition is there building the same/similar/complementary product?

• Permits?

• Tools/labour, hire, self or buy (tools)

• Advertising?

• Identified your target market? How will communicate with them?

• Do you understand that most kitchen fit-outs will be decided by the fairer sex ... are you cost competitive?

• What is your competitive advantage?

... or is it a 'suck it and see' approach ...

I'm all for small business ... just go into it with a Business Plan and your eyes

Wishing you the best of luck!

[jamesdoe1234]

Excellent job!! Are you planning a permanent move to the LOS to be with your thai girlfriend???

planning on starting a business there building western style furniture with the help of my gf and her family, also starting the same thing here in scotland, the plan so far is to split my year between the 2 countries,hopefully spending most of the year in thailand depending on how the business and relationship progress, see how it goes from there

Morning Rik,

Something I would dare say you should look into which I know a market for is built in furniture. One problem/benefit is you will find most high end work like that in BKK. If things were difficult financially I would certainly be up for that. Good to see David giving up his prime weekend time for you to offer you a generic business plan.

I would tell you right now the only real easy thing to get into would be teaching for 500 baht an hour -well in my area anyhow. Sadly for that money in the evening i have to consider the opportunity cost of sitting back enjoying rum, whiskey, or my new favourite g and t!

Take it easy lads - or as a prick on this thread said prior - what would be the point of thailand otherwise?

[SteeleJoe]

You know what has always cracked me up and still does? Whenever I visit my home country there is always at least one less adventurous individual that asks me "how can you enjoy being in a relationship that you essentially have to pay for?".

Why do they ask you that?

Because his gf is Thai?

Think about it before you post too quick.

I still don't get it and I don't understand your answer. I've been in relationships with Thai women for 30 years and I've never had anyone ask me that, here or in my home country.

I actually prefer most of the time to post what's on my mind without a whole lot of deliberation and the vast majority of the time there's no need to retract or apologize (when warranted, I gladly do both) so it works fine for me - save your posting instructions for whomever you think might see you as an authority (hint: I don't).

[farang000999]

What was her motivation for finding a farang on the internet? Construction and building advice?

[ALFREDO]

Same old story , Farang who cannot get a decent woman in his own country comes to Thailand and suddenly finds LOVE with a young and pretty lady who makes him believe that he is the most handsome man she has ever seen, as long as he is willing to finance whatever project she or her family have in mind !!

Just wait and see what comes after that !!

EGO MAKES MEN DEAF & BLIND & In Thailand even Morons !!

we met online over a year ago and chatted and got to know each other for about 6 months before we even decided we wanted to meet !

A long, "deliberation phase"

Always best to go slowly! Ain't that right PalMan?

We say in my country, "The anticipation is the most beautiful pleasure."

-Rik325i- ="6 months before we even decided we wanted to meet !"=

seems to enjoy that "saying" to the fullest.

Edited May 19, 2013 by ALFREDO

[tlusername]

I envy you. I wish I was that good with my hands, but I am all fingers and thumbs.

[SinglePot]

Not sure about

You know what has always cracked me up and still does? Whenever I visit my home country there is always at least one less adventurous individual that asks me "how can you enjoy being in a relationship that you essentially have to pay for?".

Why do they ask you that?

Because his gf is Thai?

Think about it before you post too quick.

I still don't get it and I don't understand your answer. I've been in relationships with Thai women for 30 years and I've never had anyone ask me that, here or in my home country.

I actually prefer most of the time to post what's on my mind without a whole lot of deliberation and the vast majority of the time there's no need to retract or apologize (when warranted, I gladly do both) so it works fine for me - save your posting instructions for whomever you think might see you as an authority (hint: I don't).

Hello SteeleJoe

Can I correct you please. My 'posting instruction' was not about 'authority'. It was about 'the truth'.

Further clarification is available from me if required. You probably don't need it or want it. I get your drift. Cheers.

[SinglePot]

What was her motivation for finding a farang on the internet? Construction and building advice?

Up to her and the OP? None of our business maybe?

[SteeleJoe]

Not sure about

You know what has always cracked me up and still does? Whenever I visit my home country there is always at least one less adventurous individual that asks me "how can you enjoy being in a relationship that you essentially have to pay for?".

Why do they ask you that?

Because his gf is Thai?

Think about it before you post too quick.

I still don't get it and I don't understand your answer. I've been in relationships with Thai women for 30 years and I've never had anyone ask me that, here or in my home country.

I actually prefer most of the time to post what's on my mind without a whole lot of deliberation and the vast majority of the time there's no need to retract or apologize (when warranted, I gladly do both) so it works fine for me - save your posting instructions for whomever you think might see you as an authority (hint: I don't).

Hello SteeleJoe

Can I correct you please. My 'posting instruction' was not about 'authority'. It was about 'the truth'.

Further clarification is available from me if required. You probably don't need it or want it. I get your drift. Cheers.

By all means, clarify. "THE truth"? That sounds pretty damn important and I'd be foolish not to want to hear it...

[2unique]

What was her motivation for finding a farang on the internet? Construction and building advice?

You're right she should have gone to a quality bar! What is wrong with a hard working woman socializing on the Internet? Doesn't sound like she was going to meet an academic, social equal or anyone with the work ethic at the local tar pits!

I heard an urban legend from a bloke in a pub, he said not every girl you meet is a freelancer, gold digger or hooker apparently some ARE different! Boggled my mind when he went on to add not just in Thailand but some western women too!

Sent from Android please excuse errors in type or judgement

[Rik325i]

Excellent job!! Are you planning a permanent move to the LOS to be with your thai girlfriend???

planning on starting a business there building western style furniture with the help of my gf and her family, also starting the same thing here in scotland, the plan so far is to split my year between the 2 countries,hopefully spending most of the year in thailand depending on how the business and relationship progress, see how it goes from there

Good luck in both ventures I assume you have looked who are going to be your customer's in Thailand and be careful you are not juggling to many balls it can be very frustrating doing business in Thailand you have both culture and language to think about its not easy street there will be worries. When you are not there and a potential farang customer turns up to get hand made furniture who is going to talk with him.Not long distance phone calls I hope

im actually aiming more at one off pieces of furniture, built then advertised for sale and not working to order if that makes any sense

[Rik325i]

Excellent job!! Are you planning a permanent move to the LOS to be with your thai girlfriend???

planning on starting a business there building western style furniture with the help of my gf and her family, also starting the same thing here in scotland, the plan so far is to split my year between the 2 countries,hopefully spending most of the year in thailand depending on how the business and relationship progress, see how it goes from there

-

I'm sure you won't have to worry in the early stages flying under the radar, but as soon as you've proved the concept will work, make sure to have the capital handy to pay a trusted lawyer to set up a proper company, get you a proper work permit all that.

It's quite possible foreigners aren't even allowed to work in cabinet-making/woodworking/carpentry, in which case you'll need to be "management only" supervising the staff doing all the work wink wink nudge nudge, I've heard bar owners talk about being forbidden from serving, wiping down tables etc.

And of course if you are actually visibly successful, the farther you get from the letter of the law the more likely you are to have problems down the road where you'll need to give a percentage of profits over to the government/police mafia, or on lawyers if you want to try to keep everything on the up and up.

If you threaten a competitor that actually has real clout, then even doing everything right isn't any guarantee of freedom from interference, hiring off-duty cops to commit arson is well within the scope of Thailand's business realities.

So don't invest TOO much of your retirement nest egg into such a scheme, at least then you only have your time and energy to lose if you get wiped out.

And best if your legal/financial structures are set up to protect you from local family and partners, try to find advice and advisors completely independently from the others involved in the operation.

Sorry to be so cynical and pessimistic, perhaps the odds are long that any of these problems could actually arise, but forewarned is forearmed, never imagine things work here the way they're supposed to according to our back-home standards.

Some very good Advice,

Thank you very much for imparting this in such a civilized manner

[Rik325i]

But i think for now im going to keep the majority of my plans under my hood until ive gathered the relevant information from many other sources rather than blurt out everything on tv and be ripped to pieces by the in crowd for being so naive

[AnotherOneAmerican]

The biggest problems with the online girls, is plenty of online guys wanting to meet them.

And the opportunity to run 3 or 4 part time guys is often overwhelming.

Funny thing is none of the family, friends or neighbours ever let on about the other guys.

Not saying yours is doing this, but it's the big one to watch out for.

(Not a problem if you don't mind time-share, and does spread the costs out between all the guys.)

[PalMan]

On the other hand, those that have the discipline to maintain the proper stance from the beginning are more likely to maintain the satisfaction of the relationship properly and allow it to last longer.It's being the one that doesn't give up control, more ready to walk away than the other, it's the PERCEPTION of that stance that gives relative power, even if it's not true you've got to make sure she still believes it.Never let her think that you would let "love" - no matter how genuine your real love is - override your common sense and ability to protect your interests.

Sounds like there is a lot of 'conditional' stuff in this line of thought PalMan?

Protect your interests. OK fine. Then ....who do you choose?

Always best to go slowly! Ain't that right PalMan?

-

Actually my MO is strike while the iron is hot.

As long as you're pretty sure things are in "win-win" mode, time-energy-money inputs and satisfactory returns (outputs) continue to be in balance, then you're really got little to lose as you go along. The trick of course is to maintain that balance, not investing too much up front based on mere promises of future happiness. And never expect things to get better than the early "honeymoon" stage, they rarely do. Finally don't expect a given relationship to last any longer than they're supposed to, and I doubt if many of them end earlier than that.

As to who to choose well surely that's up to each of us, thank the lord we aren't all attracted to the same types. Certainly never any dearth of choices I have to say, every year my standards (according to my own lights) are raised higher and higher.

Edited May 19, 2013 by PalMan

[PalMan]

But i think for now im going to keep the majority of my plans under my hood until ive gathered the relevant information from many other sources rather than blurt out everything on tv and be ripped to pieces by the in crowd for being so naive

Excellent idea.

I would suggest keeping your overall life situation to yourself, and simply posting specific questions, request for information in the appropriate forum for that topic.

You can basically get all the warnings and advice you need about the risks you're taking by reading the back-threads, without having to defend and justify every aspect of your life to the "community" here.

Edited May 19, 2013 by PalMan

[Rik325i]

But i think for now im going to keep the majority of my plans under my hood until ive gathered the relevant information from many other sources rather than blurt out everything on tv and be ripped to pieces by the in crowd for being so naive

Excellent idea.

I would suggest keeping your overall life situation to yourself, and simply posting specific questions, request for information in the appropriate forum for that topic.

You can basically get all the warnings and advice you need about the risks you're taking by reading the back-threads, without having to defend and justify every aspect of your life to the "community" here.

But its so enjoyable reading the diversity of comments to this thread and whilst i take much of the advice offered, think about it, apply it to my situation and discard what i deem not relevant at the time, i know im going to make mistakes but im going to give this a shot anyway and see where it leads, you only live once after all

[SinglePot]

Well, I'll tell you something Rik325i. You've got people talking.

BTW. Richard Branson is quoted as saying he worked on gut feel. If the idea felt good he could turn it into a success.

His business plan was execution. Not the idea.

And without wishing to sound bossy, use some teak and rosewood for the top end stuff.

tgf's papa will thank you for it I think.

good luck.

[SinglePot]

The biggest problems with the online girls, is plenty of online guys wanting to meet them.

And the opportunity to run 3 or 4 part time guys is often overwhelming.

Funny thing is none of the family, friends or neighbours ever let on about the other guys.

Not saying yours is doing this, but it's the big one to watch out for.

(Not a problem if you don't mind time-share, and does spread the costs out between all the guys.)

But sure as hell the family, friends and neighbours know.

So does she.

[SinglePot]

On the other hand, those that have the discipline to maintain the proper stance from the beginning are more likely to maintain the satisfaction of the relationship properly and allow it to last longer.It's being the one that doesn't give up control, more ready to walk away than the other, it's the PERCEPTION of that stance that gives relative power, even if it's not true you've got to make sure she still believes it.Never let her think that you would let "love" - no matter how genuine your real love is - override your common sense and ability to protect your interests.

Sounds like there is a lot of 'conditional' stuff in this line of thought PalMan?Protect your interests. OK fine. Then ....who do you choose?

Always best to go slowly! Ain't that right PalMan?

-Actually my MO is strike while the iron is hot.As long as you're pretty sure things are in "win-win" mode, time-energy-money inputs and satisfactory returns (outputs) continue to be in balance, then you're really got little to lose as you go along. The trick of course is to maintain that balance, not investing too much up front based on mere promises of future happiness. And never expect things to get better than the early "honeymoon" stage, they rarely do. Finally don't expect a given relationship to last any longer than they're supposed to, and I doubt if many of them end earlier than that.As to who to choose well surely that's up to each of us, thank the lord we aren't all attracted to the same types. Certainly never any dearth of choices I have to say, every year my standards (according to my own lights) are raised higher and higher.

[SinglePot]

All of the points you make PalMan could be expressed as deliberately by a t bar girl.

[Rik325i]

Well, I'll tell you something Rik325i. You've got people talking.

BTW. Richard Branson is quoted as saying he worked on gut feel. If the idea felt good he could turn it into a success.

His business plan was execution. Not the idea.

And without wishing to sound bossy, use some teak and rosewood for the top end stuff.

tgf's papa will thank you for it I think.

good luck.

I am going to be using Teak and Rosewood for high end stuff, also fibreglass and upholstery techniques normally reserved for custom cars

more coming soon............

[OldChinaHam]

Get a robot

Save yourself the heartburn

[SinglePot]

OK. OK. We hear you.

[SinglePot]

Well, I'll tell you something Rik325i. You've got people talking.

BTW. Richard Branson is quoted as saying he worked on gut feel. If the idea felt good he could turn it into a success.

His business plan was execution. Not the idea.

And without wishing to sound bossy, use some teak and rosewood for the top end stuff.

tgf's papa will thank you for it I think.

good luck.

I am going to be using Teak and Rosewood for high end stuff, also fibreglass and upholstery techniques normally reserved for custom cars

more coming soon............

Maybe your target market could be outside of Thailand?

Fibreglass and upholstery techniques normally reserved for custom cars are right up the Chinese street.