Age Difference In Relationships In Thailand

[culicine]

6 years difference - she's older than me. Got a career and her own money - just the way I like it:)

[cardholder]

We all know the truth.

It's more or less prostituting yourself to one full time customer.

Sent from my GT-N7000B using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Well i am gay and older by twice the age of ny boy. why dies he like me...??? SECURITY OF COURSE and to believe otherwise is total foolishness. Yes he loves me and we enjoy eachother and are boyfriends but. .. I know he likes younger for sone fun and I accept that.

We both get something out of this... And so do yiou straight guys so stop living in na na do do land

Sure he loves you.

Sure !!

No need to be sure - maybe just a need to believe it.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Problem is, in the US I always worked hard and earned loads.

My lifestyle clearly proclaimed this, so any relationships I had offered obvious enhancements for the lady.

Unless you are a poor loser, how could you know the reasons they were dating you were not in expectation of financial advantage.

If not immediately, then in the future, house, car, pension, etc.

[PalMan]

Bullshit.

It's just as likely that the guy's deluding himself as it is that his boyfriend genuinely loves him.

The mere presence of financial imperatives for the paid party introduces perfectly reasonable doubt over the veracity of said love whereas, with the romantic aspect you're so quick to dismiss as little more than folly, there is often more underpinning said love.

Go ahead, dispute it but outside the Thailand bubble, there are billions of people who are in and remain in love with each other even in the face of financial challenges.

I prefer not to let the bubble brainwash me or make me super-cynical about relationships between men and women (or in this other guy's case, men and men). In m y experience, it doesn't come down to financial imperatives as much as it does to genuine feeling, respect, appreciation and empathy for another person.

-

Likely or not, other than a respectful and gently warning - if you have reason to think he's being overly naive, getting scammed - your speculation isn't appropriate - more strongly it's reprehensibly rude.

And genuine feeling, respect, appreciation and empathy for another person are not at all excluded by the initial/underlying financial arrangement, I'm sorry it's just not, I've had a lot of experience in this area.

Sure you have to be more careful, more protective of your heart and your assets, but I would say that same attitude would have been very helpful to me as a callow youth who followed his lovesick puppy hormone flushes.

[HardenedSoul]

Oh stop kidding yourself and trying to flannel everyone here with your insipid waffle.

What would you rather have;

A woman who loves, cares, respects, appreciates and empathises with you without a moment's thought about money

or

A woman who, upon realising you've got a few bucks in the bank eventually comes to love, care, respect, appreciate and empathise with you???

If, by virtue of your age, looks, corpulence or whatever, that's only possible with a woman older, less aesthetically-blessed and fatter than what you go for in Thailand then yes, by all means, go ahead and fill your boots but don't bang on about how a relationship that grows out of a P2P arrangement is anywhere near as valid as one with real foundations because, if the money runs out, how much grace do you reckon your woman will grant you before hooking up with someone else?

[FDog]

Some must think they are so very important that whatever they say about others relationships must be the only way.

Quite a feat considering they don't actually know the people but can say that it is all about money just by looking at them.

Or the other way to look at it.......my life is like this so it must be the same for others.

[FDog]

Oh stop kidding yourself and trying to flannel everyone here with your insipid waffle.

What would you rather have;

A woman who loves, cares, respects, appreciates and empathises with you without a moment's thought about money

or

A woman who, upon realising you've got a few bucks in the bank eventually comes to love, care, respect, appreciate and empathise with you???

If, by virtue of your age, looks, corpulence or whatever, that's only possible with a woman older, less aesthetically-blessed and fatter than what you go for in Thailand then yes, by all means, go ahead and fill your boots but don't bang on about how a relationship that grows out of a P2P arrangement is anywhere near as valid as one with real foundations because, if the money runs out, how much grace do you reckon your woman will grant you before hooking up with someone else?

Doesn't matter a toss how it starts, if it is love it is love. Either way, why do you think people care what YOU think. If they are happy I'm sure they couldn't give a rats.

Are you just trying to convince yourself of something?

[PalMan]

Great post Nan Laew.

I was reading this article about mental shortcuts causing one to jump to conclusions:

http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/politics/2013/05/tea_party_irs_will_the_irs_s_profiling_of_tea_party_groups_convince_conservatives.html

And thought it had some bearing here. . .

[PalMan]

Oh stop kidding yourself and trying to flannel everyone here with your insipid waffle.

What would you rather have;

A woman who loves, cares, respects, appreciates and empathises with you without a moment's thought about money

or

A woman who, upon realising you've got a few bucks in the bank eventually comes to love, care, respect, appreciate and empathise with you???

If, by virtue of your age, looks, corpulence or whatever, that's only possible with a woman older, less aesthetically-blessed and fatter than what you go for in Thailand then yes, by all means, go ahead and fill your boots but don't bang on about how a relationship that grows out of a P2P arrangement is anywhere near as valid as one with real foundations because, if the money runs out, how much grace do you reckon your woman will grant you before hooking up with someone else?

-

Sorry, just as valid is my verdict.

And I'll also take the Marxist position (Groucho, not Karl) that I'd never want to have a relationship with the kind of woman who would move in with me for free.

In my case as you point out I'm just being realistic.

[HardenedSoul]

Oh stop kidding yourself and trying to flannel everyone here with your insipid waffle.

What would you rather have;

A woman who loves, cares, respects, appreciates and empathises with you without a moment's thought about money

or

A woman who, upon realising you've got a few bucks in the bank eventually comes to love, care, respect, appreciate and empathise with you???

If, by virtue of your age, looks, corpulence or whatever, that's only possible with a woman older, less aesthetically-blessed and fatter than what you go for in Thailand then yes, by all means, go ahead and fill your boots but don't bang on about how a relationship that grows out of a P2P arrangement is anywhere near as valid as one with real foundations because, if the money runs out, how much grace do you reckon your woman will grant you before hooking up with someone else?

Doesn't matter a toss how it starts, if it is love it is love. Either way, why do you think people care what YOU think. If they are happy I'm sure they couldn't give a rats.

Are you just trying to convince yourself of something?

<deleted>

It does matter how it starts. If it starts off as P4P then, in 99% of cases it'll always be P4P. No money? Fergedabowdit !!

All the "Yes teelak I lurb you" will stop as quickly as it started just after you handed over the first monthly stipend.

[transam]

This age debate has been done to death before. There's basically three types of spring/autumn relationships. These are listed in order of likelihood and reverse order of success.

1- Where the guy is c*nt struck and clueless and eventually gets f*cked over. It happens mostly to gormless newbies, those that have recently been f*cked over in their homeland by one of their own and those that never had any real relationships before, anywhere. It's their train wreck and nobody elses.

2- Where it starts as above but the lady has an epiphany and realises that love trumps cash... and the money grabbing family and what passes for culturally normal here. These usually have the couple spending most of their years together outside Thailand either working or travelling. They maybe vacation here frequently, keep a holiday home and possibly plan coming back to LOS in retirement. They don't seek or need any counselling.

3- Where there is genuine love between both partners from the get go and they both live happily ever after. They both work hard at making the family unit viable, have respect for each other and place each other as #1 in their lives. They can be in Bangkok, Nakhon Nowhere, the male partners homeland or some third country. It doesn't bloody matter what anyone else opines.

Why younger guys like falken and his wingman HardenedSoul should be so worried about any of the above is quite beyond me.

Well hang on, I'm not young. I'm 46 and I'm certainly not "worried" about the nature of others' relationships.

Still, this is a thread that seeks to discuss the issue and I'm giving my opinion.

You might slate me for my views but bear in mind that the thread wouldn't have run to 19 pages if others didn't weigh in with their own opinions too.

Wish l was 46 years young.

[PalMan]

It does matter how it starts. If it starts off as P4P then, in 99% of cases it'll always be P4P. No money? Fergedabowdit !!

-

<deleted> you!

My point isn't that she'll stay with no money, it's that the P4P aspect doesn't preclude the genuine emotional intimacy.

In your case, due to your attitudes I dare say it might. Maybe when you're older that will change for you, for your sake I hope so.

Otherwise your choices are old & ugly, or empty & shallow, and I personally wouldn't want to have created such a world for myself.

As it stands now I can have a mix young & hot & athletic & eager to please & empty & shallow, or if I work at it over time, every once in a while young & hot & athletic & eager to please & real love.

Of course nothing lasts forever, but I'm OK with that, nice thing about Thailand is a never-ending supply of fish in the sea.

Until we get priced out of the market by Asia's ascendancy concurrent with the fall of the West.

[pigeonjake]

how old is old??

just out of interest

jake 52

[HardenedSoul]

It does matter how it starts. If it starts off as P4P then, in 99% of cases it'll always be P4P. No money? Fergedabowdit !!

-

<deleted> you!

My point isn't that she'll stay with no money, it's that the P4P aspect doesn't preclude the genuine emotional intimacy.

In your case, due to your attitudes I dare say it might. Maybe when you're older that will change for you, for your sake I hope so.

Otherwise your choices are old & ugly, or empty & shallow, and I personally wouldn't want to have created such a world for myself.

As it stands now I can have a mix young & hot & athletic & eager to please & empty & shallow, or if I work at it over time, every once in a while young & hot & athletic & eager to please & real love.

Of course nothing lasts forever, but I'm OK with that, nice thing about Thailand is a never-ending supply of fish in the sea.

Until we get priced out of the market by Asia's ascendancy concurrent with the fall of the West.

Well that's just it, isn't it?

The operative word there is "genuine". If the money runs out, how long does that "genuine emotional intimacy" keep her with you? I'l tell you - about as long as it takes for her to gather her knickers, toothbrush and straightening tongs, mate.

5 minutes tops. Your "emotional intimacy" will be about as genuine as a 15 baht banknote.

I don't expect that, upon reaching your age (whatever that is) I would be sharing your particular delusion that love borne out of financial compensation is as valid as that with real, non-compensatory foundations, no sir.

As for what awaits me later on, who's to say but if I'm not getting old and ugly, empty or shallow now, at 46, why would I be getting it later on in life.

By all means, have your way with the young 'uns but don't tell people that when your P4P lass says she loves you, it's genuine.

That only makes you more of fool than you already appear to be.

[cardholder]

It does matter how it starts. If it starts off as P4P then, in 99% of cases it'll always be P4P. No money? Fergedabowdit !!

-

<deleted> you!

My point isn't that she'll stay with no money, it's that the P4P aspect doesn't preclude the genuine emotional intimacy.

In your case, due to your attitudes I dare say it might. Maybe when you're older that will change for you, for your sake I hope so.

Otherwise your choices are old & ugly, or empty & shallow, and I personally wouldn't want to have created such a world for myself.

As it stands now I can have a mix young & hot & athletic & eager to please & empty & shallow, or if I work at it over time, every once in a while young & hot & athletic & eager to please & real love.

Of course nothing lasts forever, but I'm OK with that, nice thing about Thailand is a never-ending supply of fish in the sea.

Until we get priced out of the market by Asia's ascendancy concurrent with the fall of the West.

This is starting to turn into a pissing contest so before it gets out of hand I would just like to say that HS is viewing P4P from one direction.

I would ask him to consider why the girls get involved in the P4P business. Obviously, a variety of reasons but I would suggest that the two main reasons are:-

1. Money - to buy something/support the family/improve lifestyle

2. Hook a Falang - to buy something/support the family/improve lifestyle

We know that there are a large number of girls who juggle multiple sponsors - it is almost a trophy situation with bragging rights for she who can accumulate the biggest monthly salary. Get involved with these and you may never lose your GF - but you may often 'lose your turn'.

In group 2, are there girls who genuinely want to settle down 'monogamously', with an improved lifestyle, with a falang ?

I am 100% sure there are. You can but give it try - if it doesn't work out, as Palman says. there are plenty of fish in the sea.

[PalMan]

Obviously the love doesn't come from the money, you have to earn it just like any other relationship.

And I don't need to tell anyone anything, nor do I care what others judgments are.

And the fact that she decides to leave for financial reasons doesn't mean the love isn't real, just shows its relative importance in life.

Love is a luxury that only the comfortably well off can afford to indulge in.

Anyway we've been repeating the same stuff to each other ad nauseum enough is enough, thanks for, whatever. . .

[HardenedSoul]

Obviously the love doesn't come from the money, you have to earn it just like any other relationship.

And I don't need to tell anyone anything, nor do I care what others judgments are.

And the fact that she decides to leave for financial reasons doesn't mean the love isn't real, just shows its relative importance in life.

Love is a luxury that only the comfortably well off can afford to indulge in.

Anyway we've been repeating the same stuff to each other ad nauseum enough is enough, thanks for, whatever. . .

Yes but you'd have us believe that the financial aspect doesn't make it easier to earn that love and that is, was and always will be delusion 101.

I mean, listen to yourself:

Love is a luxury that only the comfortably well off can afford to indulge in

A billion couples around the world would disagree with you.

Evidently, living here has completely brain-washed you.

[arthurwait]

It does matter how it starts. If it starts off as P4P then, in 99% of cases it'll always be P4P. No money? Fergedabowdit !!

-

<deleted> you!

My point isn't that she'll stay with no money, it's that the P4P aspect doesn't preclude the genuine emotional intimacy.

In your case, due to your attitudes I dare say it might. Maybe when you're older that will change for you, for your sake I hope so.

Otherwise your choices are old & ugly, or empty & shallow, and I personally wouldn't want to have created such a world for myself.

As it stands now I can have a mix young & hot & athletic & eager to please & empty & shallow, or if I work at it over time, every once in a while young & hot & athletic & eager to please & real love.

Of course nothing lasts forever, but I'm OK with that, nice thing about Thailand is a never-ending supply of fish in the sea.

Until we get priced out of the market by Asia's ascendancy concurrent with the fall of the West.

This is starting to turn into a pissing contest so before it gets out of hand I would just like to say that HS is viewing P4P from one direction.

I would ask him to consider why the girls get involved in the P4P business. Obviously, a variety of reasons but I would suggest that the two main reasons are:-

1. Money - to buy something/support the family/improve lifestyle

2. Hook a Falang - to buy something/support the family/improve lifestyle

We know that there are a large number of girls who juggle multiple sponsors - it is almost a trophy situation with bragging rights for she who can accumulate the biggest monthly salary. Get involved with these and you may never lose your GF - but you may often 'lose your turn'.

In group 2, are there girls who genuinely want to settle down 'monogamously', with an improved lifestyle, with a falang ?

I am 100% sure there are. You can but give it try - if it doesn't work out, as Palman says. there are plenty of fish in the sea.

Which one is he ?

[jvs]

Next thread, income difference in releationships in Thailand.

Yes there are always more than one way to look at things but if people just don't want to listen to some one elses point of view this kind of discussions will go on forever and just create more tunnel vision.

Bottom line for me is,up to us!

[pigeonjake]

there is post of mine in the farming section,,SORRY its called,

there is a picture of my wife and daughter on there,

my wife isnt the most beautiful lady in thailand, if i wanted to go to the likes of pattaya and find a stunner i could,

but my wife has one of the best hearts that ive ever come accross, now if some on here dont want to believe that, or want to call me a fool, that is your right, your opinion,

ive lived with my wife for over 7 years i know she is a beautiful person,

ive been a contractor all my life all over the world, and i meen all over, so i would think im very streetwise, you go into a strange bar in many different countrys you have to be able to suss the place and people,

ill stand by my words that my wife is the most genuine person ive come across hasnt got a bad bone in her body,

and shes a great wife and a great mother to our daughter,

jake

ps shes a bloody good cook too,,lol

Edited May 22, 2013 by pigeonjake

[pigeonjake]

here you go you dont have to go looking,

thats me with the pigss,,lol,,

not ugly, not beautiful, im normal,

and my wife and daughter,

[Eesat]

here you go you dont have to go looking,

thats me with the pigss,,lol,,

not ugly, not beautiful, im normal,

and my wife and daughter,

You don't know Ted from Wales do you,he was another pig farmer in Isaan till recently?

[pigeonjake]

no i dont mate,

im in wangnamyen near sakoew,

not in issan,

sorry cant help,

we have ducks too and chickens, i love duck eggs we get about 60 a day and its 100bht for 30 for duck eggs,

im from farming stock, my mums got a small farm in the uk, so i like being out in the sticks,

like i say pigs,ducks chickens fish in the pond, mac does most of the work, shes a bloody good worker

jake

[FDog]

Jake she looks damn nice. You are batting well above your average. Well done lad.

[pigeonjake]

now then mate i allways batted 11 i was a bowler lol

[deesamui]

how old is old??

just out of interest

jake 52

me, 53 girlfriend is in her early 30s

[pigeonjake]

i dont think im old,,lol,,

2 years ago in angola we played football in that heat and i lasted all the game, and a few said to me bloody hell you must of played a high standerd,, i had a good game,

theres an old saying in england, your only as old as you feel,

jake

[deesamui]

i dont think im old,,lol,,

2 years ago in angola we played football in that heat and i lasted all the game, and a few said to me bloody hell you must of played a high standerd,, i had a good game,

theres an old saying in england, your only as old as you feel,

jake

you know that one: men are like good red wine, or good scottch as older as better, women ?

[HardenedSoul]

Hmm looks like "PalMan" who managed to log nigh on 300 posts in 6 days has been banned.

Probably the latest incarnation of deadbeat, can't-pay-his-rent FunFon and BigJohnnyBKK who some may remember as the odious, slimy lounge lizard who ran a finish-me-off . . . oops, sorry . . . finishing "program" for young rural girls where he eased them into a life of sex work.

Strange how he couldn't pay his rent but extolled the virtues of love borne out of financial compensation.

Edited May 22, 2013 by HardenedSoul

[rene123]

Are you guys still comparing the size of your dicks? I thought men stopped doing that after their teenage years. I guess I was wrong.