The Master List Of What Not To Do In Chiang Mai

[puukao]

To preface, I'm not telling anyone what they cannot do while in Thailand (even thought it might seem that way). When I say "DON'T", I really mean....."suggestions." it's just more fun saying "What Not to do" instead of "What maybe not do"....

Avoid the following:

1. Karaoke Bars

2. Starting a tab at a bar (pay for all drinks immediately)

3. Riding a bike without a helmet (other people might be drunk, hit you, and you need protection)

4. Driving on the right side of the road (to all new visitors)

5. Going to bars with Thai MEN there (they get jealous, fights might happen)

6. Telling the restaurant worker(s) the food tastes bad

7. Eating Sushi for 10 baht that has been in the sun all day

8. Getting scammed by overpriced tuk-tuk drivers (remember to negotiate)

9. Buying a house for thai gf after knowing her for 11 days

10. Leaving you bike UNLOCKED to something (I've seen bikes stolen with a lock, just not locked to anything)

11. Loaning money to your "friends" (getting a little off-topic, sort of)

12. ATM's that either charge 150/180 baht or not in very public location (skimming does happen often)

13. Buying Jade

can only think of 13.....need more coffee....will update later......maybe I will help ONE new TV person...it will all be worth it!!!!! haha.

Edited June 5, 2013 by puukao

[benalibina]

Hanging out with you, comes now to my mind. Lol !

[NeverSure]

Don't breath the air.

[OldChinaHam]

"Buying Jade"?

You mean the stone right?

I once knew a girl named Jade. And this is why I asked.

[rene123]

Getting drunk anywhere other than your own residence would have to be at the top of the list... unless of course you have a sober designated driver to bring you home. Even then it is risky. Most serious trouble in Thailand starts first with drinking too much.

[crusader79]

Forgetting that what seems like peanuts to you is serious money in Thailand, for which both locals and farang will do bad things (including violence). One has to scale down one's mental value of money.

Related to the above, forgetting that people have hidden agendas, that there are smiling, seemingly helpful farang out to take advantage of you and/or make money off you.

(No, I haven't been badly scammed or exploited, but I've seen it happen enough times, particularly to newcomers)

[WinnieTheKhwai]

Point 2 shouldn't be in there. Been doing that for 20 years, no issue.

And point 5 is racist and bullshit.

6 also..

13.. bought a lovely jade Buddha image.. so far it hasn't eaten me or the kids.

I'll give it the benefit of the doubt that it's not a grand troll attempt, it's really quite out there.

Let's try again.

Edited June 5, 2013 by WinnieTheKhwai

[elektrified]

Point 2 shouldn't be in there. Been doing that for 20 years, no issue.

And point 5 is racist and bullshit.

6 also..

13.. bought a lovely jade Buddha image.. so far it hasn't eaten me or the kids.

I'll give it the benefit of the doubt that it's not a grand troll attempt, it's really quite out there.

Let's try again.

+1

Point 5 is total B.S.

[Saan]

Devote your entire waking life to Thai Visa.

[rookball]

14) spending more time in thaivisa than exploring chiangmai

[Payboy]

Don't tickle the panda.

[Thighlander]

"100% wool" at tailor shops is much more like Hefty lawn/leaf bags.

[PoodMaiDai]

I also don't like to hang out in bars with lots of younger Thai guys. Too many fights. Not worth the hassle. Last Thai bar I was in (Hua Hin) some kid pulled out a gun and started waiving it around at everyone talking about what a big person he was. I just don't have time for nonsense like that anymore. Alcohol in general mixed with testosterone is a bad combo. Easier to avoid.

[OldChinaHam]

Forgetting that what seems like peanuts to you is serious money in Thailand, for which both locals and farang will do bad things (including violence). One has to scale down one's mental value of money.

Related to the above, forgetting that people have hidden agendas, that there are smiling, seemingly helpful farang out to take advantage of you and/or make money off you.

(No, I haven't been badly scammed or exploited, but I've seen it happen enough times, particularly to newcomers)

Newcomers from Iowa, corn country USA?

[m51chris]

Forgetting that what seems like peanuts to you is serious money in Thailand, for which both locals and farang will do bad things (including violence). One has to scale down one's mental value of money.

Related to the above, forgetting that people have hidden agendas, that there are smiling, seemingly helpful farang out to take advantage of you and/or make money off you.

(No, I haven't been badly scammed or exploited, but I've seen it happen enough times, particularly to newcomers)

Newcomers from Iowa, corn country USA?

Hey - I'm from Iowa! No problems so far. And I'm glad no one mentioned eating roadside roast pork on a stick - I love that stuff!

[AnotherOneAmerican]

5 - I have always found foreigner men much more unpredictable and randomly violent than Thai men.

6 - An easy way to get people spitting in your food world over.

7 - Roadside sushi is usually 5bht, very tasty and usually very fresh. I had some this week, 50bht for 10.

8 - Only the very stupid use Tuk-tuks, songtaws are much cheaper and more comfortable.

10 - Not much theft in CM.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

These chaps come from Iowa, look like nice boys to me.

Anyone else for roast pork on a stick?

Edited June 6, 2013 by AnotherOneAmerican

[Thighlander]

Been to the Dayli about 60 times, and never saw anything remotely resembling a fight. The Thai places also do better with keeping the beer cold, compared with the farang bars on Moon Mueng. But, back to the list:

Never take tuk-tuks, but also make sure you live in a place, where you won't have the need.

Getting away from the traffic generally means getting near the barking dogs.

[jackr]

How about just don't come to Thailand, op?

On #5, it depends what type of bar your talking about. Karaoke? then as un-PC or 'racist' (lol) as it sounds, definitely avoid and don't look em in the eye if you have to go, but the likes of Warm-Up, you can meet decent locals (of either sex) in there.

[naboo]

Worst list ever, except the karaoke bit, which even then only applies to the upper market ones, your bog standard one is fine!

[Thighlander]

Don't think for a split second they will yield the right of way to pedestrians, and this includes zebra stripes with green "walk" sign lit.

The chances of winning the lottery or being struck by lightening are long, the odds of being killed in a motorcycle "xzdan" are quite sort.

Put the letter P, in between the A and the B in ABF, because eating hot dogs for breakfast would be more like American Prison Breakfast , than American Breakfast.

Edited June 6, 2013 by Thighlander

[naboo]

A list of things to do,

1. Learn how not to offend.

2. Be good to others, whether or not they are good to you.

3. Learn the language and get real Thai friends. You will never understand if you don't.

4. Don't judge the nation by the actions of a few.

5.Relax. Life happens, role with it. Stop trying to control it.

[lsk]

O.K. I'll have a bite at this.

1. Karaoke Bars

Have had some of my best nights at Karaoke bars that were targeted at Thais. Bonus being I never had to pay.

2. Starting a tab at a bar (pay for all drinks immediately)

You must be poor, ugly and/or retarded. Only had the same issues I've had anywhere else in the world.

3. Riding a bike without a helmet (other people might be drunk, hit you, and you need protection)

Your head your helmet.

4. Driving on the right side of the road (to all new visitors)

Get used to it. It actually works quite well.

5. Going to bars with Thai MEN there (they get jealous, fights might happen)

Hmmm. You might be right there. Don't eye ball in Thailand!

6. Telling the restaurant worker(s) the food tastes bad

No problem. Just don't go back.

7. Eating Sushi for 10 baht that has been in the sun all day

10 Baht. BS. What can you but in Thailand for 10 Baht.

8. Getting scammed by overpriced tuk-tuk drivers (remember to negotiate)

Like soi dogs, make them your friend. Otherwise learn how to use the songtaws. Easy.

9. Buying a house for thai gf after knowing her for 11 days

Retarded.

10. Leaving you bike UNLOCKED to something (I've seen bikes stolen with a lock, just not locked to anything)

Retarded.

11. Loaning money to your "friends" (getting a little off-topic, sort of)

Retarded/ up to you.

12. ATM's that either charge 150/180 baht or not in very public location (skimming does happen often)

Up to you.

13. Buying Jade

The quality of Jade isn't too bad. Have Chinese friends back in Oz always asking me for more. But I'm no expert.

[orang37]

101. do not put land, house, condo, car, motorcycle, etc. in the name of your Thai "significant other" until you have known them for twenty years, or you are over seventy years old.

100. Don't walk around flaunting heavy gold chains.

99. Do not pay close attention to the friendly young lady, who has sidled up to you: if she has rather large hands, and feet, an Adam's Apple, speaks with a slightly husky voice: ignore these signs depending on, of course, your gender preferences.

98. Do not walk across a traffic-controlled pedestrian crossing until five seconds after the "go" light is green, after scanning all lanes of the road for oncoming drunken, stoned, homicidal, suicidal drivers of all types of vehicles.

97. Do not publicly display "wads" of high-value currency, Thai or foreign.

96. Do not shout in public, or raise your voice to high-volume, while talking to Thai people.

95. Do not reveals details of your personal wealth, assets, etc., to anyone.

94. Never say the words "phet maak" in a Thai restaurant.

93. Don't spend too much time thinking about what not to do.

~o:37;

[ARISTIDE]

I'd like to contribute to the list

- Don't bring your bar girls to the condo's swimming pools we have decent families with kids swimming there.

[ARISTIDE]

Give them a chance!

99. Do not pay close attention to the friendly young lady, who has sidled up to you: if she has rather large hands, and feet, an Adam's Apple, speaks with a slightly husky voice: ignore these signs depending on, of course, your gender preferences.

Edited June 6, 2013 by ARISTIDE

[wildpikey]

Point 2 shouldn't be in there. Been doing that for 20 years, no issue.

The OP was talking about going out to different bars.

If you sit in the same bar in "Soi Old Man" (Moon Muang Soi 2) everytime you go out, then they already know that they will earn out of you and won't bother trying to rip you off..

[ARISTIDE]

I don' get this one, why not?

94. Never say the words "phet maak" in a Thai restaurant.

[highonthai]

Wearing a wife beater t-shirt or not, while showing off all your gold chains while walking/staggering down the street
swigging a bottle of beer, chanting your favorite football team song at the top
of your lungs and grabbing/groping any girl within arms reach.

[Thaddeus]

Wearing a wife beater t-shirt or not, while showing off all your gold chains while walking/staggering down the street

swigging a bottle of beer, chanting your favorite football team song at the top

of your lungs and grabbing/groping any girl within arms reach.

Pretty much guaranteed to always walk alone.