Why Do Some Thais Walk 20-30 Paces Behind Their Farang Partner?

[twinpin]

Perfectly valid reason for this shorter legs.My wife keeps up with me now because due to my age I have got slower. and better looking

[Payboy]

The suede shoes weren't blue or pink by any chance? Those would make people walk on the other side.

[sustento]

Let me rephrase the OP's question:

Why do these people in a country far away from my home country not behave in the way my countrymen behave back half way round the world?

There. Feel better now?

[joeaverage]

I have seen this many times,and what is: IMO worse, is when they walk a long way in front,I can't help but feel, it denotes lack of respect,broadcasting to the world I am not really with this person,only on sufference! Body language is Univeral!

the happiest couple i know do this, but only when heading somewhere specific rather than browsing or wandering about.

i put it down to the fact he is 6 feet and she wears heels (or in thaivisa parlance, heals)

[overherebc]

Let me rephrase the OP's question:

Why do these people in a country far away from my home country not behave in the way my countrymen behave back half way round the world?

There. Feel better now?

In Thailand it seems to be the custom for the 'wife' to walk a few paces behind but in Cambodia and Laos I've heard the 'wife' walks a few paces in front. It's got nothing to do with custom, it's the land mines.

[overherebc]

Could it be that sometimes if they are together then the goods she wants to buy will attract farang price. Walking behind while shopping gives her the chance to buy at Thai price maybe ?

[chrisinth]

Landmines & ambushes................

That's what the missus says anyway........................

[Songhua]

We don't touch in public in Thailand but when we're in Australia my wife still likes to hold my hand.

I've been telling her for twenty years now to get back behind me in her rightful place but she simply refuses to do so.

I dunno, maybe she prefers the 'grip' approach rather than the hawk & prey ploy.

[Songhua]

Could it be that sometimes if they are together then the goods she wants to buy will attract farang price. Walking behind while shopping gives her the chance to buy at Thai price maybe ?

A man can only look at a handbag for so long before he needs to move on to the electronics section.

[lomatopo]

20 to 30 paces behind. How could you even determine they were together?

Is this the only instance you've observed?

Could you simply ask the person why they're walking so far behind?

I can't recall ever noticing this but then maybe I'm not as observant as you?

Well, I was wating for my massage person to show up, so I was basically wasting time, walking around. NO THIS IS NOT THE ONLY INSTANCE I HAVE OBSERVED. I have lived here nearly 10 years, and have ALWAYS wondered why this happens. I saw they were clearly together, because I saw, when the man totally stopped walking, the woman would catch up and talk with him about whatever, and then they would gradually fall back into the situation I described. I could clearly also see him slowing down, half turning towards her, as if expecting her to catch up, and she would just slow down.

She wasn't shopping, it seemed to me she was just keeping her distance purposely. I know not all Thai ladies do this. I have had this happen to me, with various people, including men. No matter how many times I expressed that walking behind me, was not okay with me, as in, I might want to actually TALK to them....like I am PAYING them to work for me, and would like to be able to TALK, and being near by me, might be an advantage in that case, they still continue to walk so far behind. Is this a sign they are pissed off? I think it is. Personally, I think it is a sign to other Thais, that "I am just working for this fool" but maybe I am wrong??

Well Hot and Humid, maybe your wife isn't accidentally just walking slower than you ...this is my point. Maybe some expats don't quite notice, they think like you do, wife just walks slower. Test it, walk slower, and slower, and you might see that she is always the exact same distance behind you. Come to a complete stop, oh, she suddenly catches up, but then start walking again, and lo and behold, she is not next to you, AGAIN, god dammit. She is behind, then stop, she catches up, then walk, she lags behind, etc, etc, etc. I am sure I cannot be the only here who notices this!!!

Clearly this is a fascinating topic for you, and it is obvious you've put quite a bit of time into observing this local phenomenon. And it seems like you are still not certain why the Thai significant other trails so far behind her foreign partner. I'd submit it is time for you to conduct more extensive research by interviewing these Thai women. Wouldn't that yield the answers you seek more quickly than posting here?

I think most are aware that in many cultures: Muslim, Sikh, Japan, the woman walk behind the man, but usually this is some reasonably small, fixed distance. What the OP initially described just seemed like two people walking through a shopping mall without a specific schedule. One stops to look at something, the other meanders on. To me it seems normal, rather than some manifestation of a cultural behaviour?

[overherebc]

Could it be that sometimes if they are together then the goods she wants to buy will attract farang price. Walking behind while shopping gives her the chance to buy at Thai price maybe ?

A man can only look at a handbag for so long before he needs to move on to the electronics section.

Careful study of the first picture will give you a greater understanding of the second.

[Berkshire]

Well, I was wating for my massage person to show up, so I was basically wasting time, walking around. NO THIS IS NOT THE ONLY INSTANCE I HAVE OBSERVED. I have lived here nearly 10 years, and have ALWAYS wondered why this happens. I saw they were clearly together, because I saw, when the man totally stopped walking, the woman would catch up and talk with him about whatever, and then they would gradually fall back into the situation I described. I could clearly also see him slowing down, half turning towards her, as if expecting her to catch up, and she would just slow down.

So Amy, just to clarify, you only notice this phenomenon when there is a farang and Thai involved? In other words, this does not happen between Thai/Thai couples, correct? I haven't noticed, but then, I haven't closely observed, so I'm not saying it's not happening.

[OldChinaHam]

I have seen this many times,and what is: IMO worse, is when they walk a long way in front,I can't help but feel, it denotes lack of respect,broadcasting to the world I am not really with this person,only on sufference! Body language is Univeral!

the happiest couple i know do this, but only when heading somewhere specific rather than browsing or wandering about.

i put it down to the fact he is 6 feet and she wears heels (or in thaivisa parlance, heals)

He is bigger and better able to barge through the Maddening Crowd, as I pointed out above. You are correct that this is usually the case only when we are heading somewhere specific! I thought the readers here would never catch on!

Edited June 7, 2013 by OldChinaHam

[Jasun]

Maybe they're 'crop dusting'.

[epicstuff]

I think its because they have shorter legs..

[canman]

My wife usually ends up trailing behind due to the simple fact that she walks so damn slow! I literally can't walk that slow, up to her if she wants to keep pace or not. My 5 year old has no problem keeping up.

[asupeartea]

Saw this too. It was in Bangkok.

[mightyharriss]

they walk slow, and call their thai husbands don't they

[OldChinaHam]

Of course if you and your gal are just strolling along on a street, window shopping, then it is a whole different ball game.

Then she is up tight and close and all luvy-duvy, both of you are having fun looking at hanging meat in the wet-market or antiques made of teak wood along some other street.

It all depends what you are doing at the time.

[how241]

When she's 20 - 30 paces behind it makes it easier for her to send and answer tweets from her other boyfriends.

ha ha ha....maybe true.

[LUSHGOAT]

Oh my lads I cant believe that no one has stated the obvious reason, its because the Farang walks faster of course

[KhunHehe]

because they're slow.

[JulesMad]

I know the experience and I found the perfect way to deal with it.....

Wait till she catches up with you, and then you follow her at the same distance....

Just change rolls, and see what happens

It will be an interesting experience, whatever the outcome

[pacovl46]

I asked my girl about that a long time ago and she said that a lot of Thais look down on Thais who've got a farang partner, especially when the Thai is female because a lot of the Thai girls that have falang boyfriends are/were bar girls.

[yimlitnoy]

My wife is doing the same when we are at the market. I softly point to some vegetables and then she buy, this way we save, paying the thai price.

[transam]

The reason a Thai lady walks behind her husband is cos her man is deemed to be protecting her in front from anything.

[ben2203]

It's part of Thai culture, you've seen pictures of people walking behind monks rather than next to them. It's a hierarchical thing, so the oldest, wisest, most respected etc walk ahead of the other people.

Usually though, westerners are placed outside of everyday Thai culture example: Thais refer to older Thai people as p or younger as nong, people outside of Thai Society as it were generally get referred to by just their first names or Mister and to an extent don't become part of the normal ways of doing things or integrated into Thai society.

In my opinion, Sometimes this is negative and sometimes positive, I suppose in the grand scheme of things it really isn't that big a deal but on a Thailand scale I think it's better to be integrated into "Thai Society" - so following the Thai Cultural norms. The fact that you're outside of the social etiquette means you're not respected on the same level as perhaps a Thai person would be, it makes things harder for you if you're working here.

Some times, you will notice Thai people bowing in front of you as they cross your path, this basically is another cultural thing and all that it means is that they are willing to listen and follow your instructions.

I guess it could be that she walks slowly too though but the elder, wiser people generally walk ahead of the younger people etc, even cases with buyers and sellers etc, the buyer is more important than the seller in that instance etc etc

Edited June 7, 2013 by ben2203

[Chonburiram]

Maybe it's some kind of foreplay?

[montereyjp]

As others have stated the obvious reason is us foreign men simple walk faster... And as a single guy this happens with a lot of different ladies... But I notice the more athletic the faster they walk but no matter what the high heels will slow them down a lot. There is a simple effective fix that scores me points with my lady friends and that is the motobike taxi.... Yes they only work when you know where you are going like back to where the car is parked or where you can catch a car taxi or baht bus... I use this method all the time when I am ready to go home after a night on walking street if I have a lady friend with me... Yes it can seem expensive for guys on a budget but factor in the money you save whizzing by all those street vendors that Thai ladies love so much it can turn out to be a wash....

[mouchlino]

Single file in pad fields, trials,along the road. Plus man goes frist, and if you don't why you should maybe read a bit about the country you are in.