Kids

[freja]

I am very sad and upset at the moment and really don't know what to do!

This is the situation:

My husband(thai) and I(farang) and our 1year old recently moved back to Thailand after many years living in Europe.

In our new business we emloyed my husbands younger sister and her husband. This was 6 months ago. The thing is that they have a son and a daughter and for some reason they didn't follow the parents. They stayed with their grandparents. We asked them (parents) about the kids and they just replied that they would come after a couple of weeks. But they didn't come. Me and my husband arranged that they could start school here and so on.....but still no kids...we have asked many times but still......no kids. They talk on the phone and such and the children finally came here during new year. And after that they were sent back to their grandparents. The new deal is that they will come here after Songkran! Me and my husband don't understand a thing!?

The kids who are aged 6 and 8 and really want's to stay here. I have talked to them about that but I can't understand why the parents doesn't take them here. And today the blow came. My husbands sister asked me when I was going to send my little girl away for bordingschool in Bangkok! I told her that my doughter was going to stay with her parents. She just looked at me, laughed and said: Farangstyle. And I just lost it.

I CAN NOT UNDERSTAND! This women is an amazing and loving person....but what about the KIDS. They are really hurting.

We have 3 other couples with kids working with us...and the situation is the same. Families far away...grandparents taking care of the kids...and so on!

I just had to let that one out...now I am going to take my farangstyle ass out of here and take a bath with my babygirl!

[sbk]

Freja, this is very common in Thailand, many couples have their parents raise the kids while they are off working. Often the rationale behind it is good, ie, saving money, stable environment etc . Perhaps they have their own reasons for leaving the kids with their parents, it is not always easy to understand Thai people's reasoning as often they will give you some excuse rather than the truth. Perhaps their marriage is in difficulty, perhaps they feel their children would do better in the home environment they grew up in, perhaps they are just too darn lazy to deal with their kids. It is hard to know the real reason and probably you never will know!

Many people have told me I should have a child and give it to my mother-in-law, I guess they assume that we should give it away because we don't want kids (and no, I don't really understand the logic behind that idea either).

Try to understand that the culture here is different, they will judge you on how you raise your child, just as you judge them. Everybody does things differently and you just have to follow your heart for what is right for your child and pray that they are doing the same for theirs. Good luck!