How it all ends up.....

[jack244]

Just wanted to share,

I have been part of a s%%$tty relationship in LOS before, got stung and lost a great deal of cash along the way. The usual, thought she was at home 'taking care' of my daughter, but found that she was intfact, in a bar.....hmmmm

History.....I worked in Middle East, had great cash and for 3 years visited LOS some 37 times. Had a lovely daughter and rebuilt the (ex GF) life, in the shitty village in....BURIRAM..... no more pissing in a hole etc. I finished a long contract in ME, came to LOS and stayed for a few months. Along the way, I was diagnosed with the big C, afterwards (very quickly) my cancer got worse and after consulting many Dr's here, I was better placed to return home to have treatment. This took one year, I sent maintenance monthly, called every day and used Skype etc, etc.

At one point in the UK, I was in Intensive care, having been brought back a couple of times etc, not very well. It was during this time, she moved to the bar scene, and despite my family informing her of my situation, maintenance continuing, she decided...F£££K him, I am off to the bar.

How I found out, well, coming out of my last operation, I called her, she didn't answer, called her family, they laughed and hung up. It's at this point I realised she was astray. Eventually she answered, I asked to speak to my daughter, normal excuse, oh she is at a friends home in the village. I said ok, I will call back in one hour......she winced. At this point may I add, my family had just sent her Western Union THB 45k. I was to give her the MTCN. As the hour was passing, my illuminating drugs wearing off, i managed to send the text with MTCN but had got the numbers mixed up. Within seconds she called me having received the text... informing me the MTCN numbers were wrong....hmmm, BINGO how would she know? her local West Uni office is 30km from the village.. Sherlok managed to realise she is not at home.

I simply stated, where are you? she said Home, I said I have just tracked your phone with the GPS signal (balls) but she gave in. That was it. We are all done and no second chances.

Current situation...... I sold my business and home in UK, awaiting many millions of 'bar fines' to hit my bank. Am alot better, putting weight on and back in the LOS. Have a lovely place and moved in the new lady...can't keep doing BF's, I have no energy..lol

I have finally hooked up with a teacher, know for many years, beautiful, no ties, no ex's, open, honest. As an example, last week, she was paid her salary, she withdrew it all and offered me it....she reasoned I take good care of her and she loves me (I didn't take it). Having been bitten once, I am in the dilemma, but am giving this new relationship a go.

For anyone coming and going, consider buying your loved one a iPhone or Blackberry, on iPhone use the find my phone feature and on Blackberry activate protection, does the same thing. Another website, trakmypartner.com maybe of use.

I am feeling better, not too bitter, but suspect of things too nice in the LOS.

Just wanted to share.

[theblether]

Just get healthy and look after yourself.

She's just another greedy lying Thai bar girl that was too smart for her own good.

I wish you luck in your new relationship. However health first, everything else second.

[NeverSure]

OK, If you are going to hook up with this teacher, please let me tell you what I'd do including having no children and not getting married.

First look after your health and be well. Best wishes to you.

1. Have the teacher buy herself a new house on the no-down new home scheme if she doesn't already own one.

2. Have the teacher buy whatever transportation she needs, maybe a car if she doesn't have one.

3. Move in with her. If you must get married, at least the home and car and loans are in her name.

4, Agree to contribute a fixed sum to joint expenses, say 50k. Agree that each takes an allowance out of the total.

5. Now use that combined sum for car and house payments, utilities, food and so on.

6. If you have to walk, you haven't lost much. It the relationship lasts a long time her car and house gets paid for a little at a time, much like you paying rent.

Thar ya go.

Edited August 8, 2013 by NeverSure

[Morden]

I'm sorry for what you have gone through and wish you the best in your new life. You seem to have adopted the right attitude. Use your failed relationship as a learning curve but don't let it cause your new one to be riddled with mistrust and suspicion.

[cardholder]

Agree 100% about health first.

A friend of mine says he will never invest any more capital, or emotion, in Thailand than he is prepared to leave in Thailand.

HE could be right - invest slowly, and wisely.

[bonobo]

THose who are posting about your health are spot on. Take care of yourself first, and best of luck with that.

With your health, then you can worry about other things.

[jmccarty]

Hope it works out for you this time and also hope your health continues to improve.

They are not all money grubbing untrustworthy blood suckers. Just some are.

[Gsxrnz]

Agree 100% about health first.

A friend of mine says he will never invest any more capital, or emotion, in Thailand than he is prepared to leave in Thailand.

HE could be right - invest slowly, and wisely.

Your friend is a very sage and wise man.

[GirlDrinkDrunk]

Just wanted to share,

I have finally hooked up with a teacher, know for many years, beautiful, no ties, no ex's, open, honest. As an example, last week, she was paid her salary, she withdrew it all and offered me it....she reasoned I take good care of her and she loves me (I didn't take it). Having been bitten once, I am in the dilemma, but am giving this new relationship a go.

For anyone coming and going, consider buying your loved one a iPhone or Blackberry, on iPhone use the find my phone feature and on Blackberry activate protection, does the same thing. Another website, trakmypartner.com maybe of use.

I am feeling better, not too bitter, but suspect of things too nice in the LOS.

Just wanted to share.

All that crap about money and not so much a mention of where your daughter fits into the whole new state of affairs. Your priorities are pretty clear. What self indulgent waffle. Edited August 8, 2013 by GirlDrinkDrunk

[benalibina]

Your daughter and her mother. Current situation ? Make the story complete please. BTW 37 times in 3 years must have given you a lot of airmiles.

[jack244]

Hey thanks. As fir dayghter, well pointed out, i have engaged a local lawyer who is charged with arranging some welfare arangement.

Upon discovety, i adked if daughter coukd come eith me. She agreed instantly. She slready has previously given her elder son up.

I now await the saga of thai paperwork etc. i visted my daughter last week and her school. Alls well.

Bargirl hasnt been home for 4 months.

The essence of my post is, no matter what you do, give or feel, there are tjose who will shake you down.

An appaling situation, waste of affection, time and love.

Just wanted to share...

[jack244]

Indeed... Many miles

[theblether]

Hey thanks. As fir dayghter, well pointed out, i have engaged a local lawyer who is charged with arranging some welfare arangement.

Upon discovety, i adked if daughter coukd come eith me. She agreed instantly. She slready has previously given her elder son up.

I now await the saga of thai paperwork etc. i visted my daughter last week and her school. Alls well.

Bargirl hasnt been home for 4 months.

The essence of my post is, no matter what you do, give or feel, there are tjose who will shake you down.

An appaling situation, waste of affection, time and love.

Just wanted to share...

Just sail a steady ship, virtually all of is know someone that has battled cancer. It takes a long time to recover physically, and even longer for many people emotionally.

Getting involved in a custody battle could knock you back a bit. Do whatever it takes to keep an even keel.

Years ago when I was going through a tumultuous time my Dad told me this.......in connection with my divorce and officialdom......

" Nobody cares, your lawyer isn't lying awake at night worrying about you, the court officials couldn't care less, the judge even less so. To the bank manager your only a number and an automatically generated letter, to your Doctor your only a guy he's sees once in a blue moon. The only person lying awake and worrying is you. The sooner realize that the better ".

The sooner we all realize that the better I say.

[jack244]

A very wise man your father. Theres always a price.

My previous FedEx post, was to have my daughters birth cert, hospital bills and UK passport etc sent to ne. Why, bargirl is making it very difficult, but she has asked for cash to be onside. Typically.

Thanks all, very positive and thought provoking comments. There is much more to the story, but to ramble on is fruitless.

One bitten twice shy... As fir self indulgent, well maybe... Am simply taking a leaf from the Thai Life Manual and taking care... Of myself.

Today for me, strolling on the beach, eating dome dam fine seafood. Good book and massage (not sexy!). Hiw perfect. Indulging.

[geriatrickid]

OK, If you are going to hook up with this teacher, please let me tell you what I'd do including having no children and not getting married.

First look after your health and be well. Best wishes to you.

1. Have the teacher buy herself a new house on the no-down new home scheme if she doesn't already own one.

2. Have the teacher buy whatever transportation she needs, maybe a car if she doesn't have one.

3. Move in with her. If you must get married, at least the home and car and loans are in her name.

4, Agree to contribute a fixed sum to joint expenses, say 50k. Agree that each takes an allowance out of the total.

5. Now use that combined sum for car and house payments, utilities, food and so on.

6. If you have to walk, you haven't lost much. It the relationship lasts a long time her car and house gets paid for a little at a time, much like you paying rent.

Thar ya go.

Yikes. Why get her into debt? If she's happy with her lifestyle, leave her be.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Long distance relationships rarely work, I know a few guys who think theirs is different.

Look on the bright side, you are recovering and getting your daughter, things could have been a lot worse.

Good luck!

[jack244]

A very wise man your father. Theres always a price.

My previous FedEx post, was to have my daughters birth cert, hospital bills and UK passport etc sent to ne. Why, bargirl is making it very difficult, but she has asked for cash to be onside. Typically.

Thanks all, very positive and thought provoking comments. There is much more to the story, but to ramble on is fruitless.

One bitten twice shy... As fir self indulgent, well maybe... Am simply taking a leaf from the Thai Life Manual and taking care... Of myself.

Today for me, strolling on the beach, eating dome dam fine seafood. Good book and massage (not sexy!). Hiw perfect. Indulging.

[mogandave]

TYou meet a girl in a bar and are surprised and blame her when she goes back to the bar.

[jack244]

I imagine there are hundreds of horror stories.

Please, this is a post outlining what can go wrong. Not all the facts have been presented, but a simple overview. Additionally the value a baht can change a girls perception, more so, you present as a kicked dog, they are happy to appraise a situation and take an easy option. The bar.

I found on my vidits to villages, many ladies wirk in a bar somewhere, the pressure for decent girls must be huge. I make no exceptions, in my cSe, she probably was influenced.

Assumptions are easily made.

Daughter priority, bargirl met at uni in bangkok.

[kevvy]

Just get healthy and look after yourself.

She's just another greedy lying Thai bar girl that was too smart for her own good.

I wish you luck in your new relationship. However health first, everything else second.

do they have to be a bar girl to be greedy and lie?

[farang000999]

Happy you survived and will take care of the daughter. This scenario has probably been much worse for many other farang who do not have the financial means that you have.

[Morden]

Hey thanks. As fir dayghter, well pointed out, i have engaged a local lawyer who is charged with arranging some welfare arangement.

Upon discovety, i adked if daughter coukd come eith me. She agreed instantly. She slready has previously given her elder son up.

I now await the saga of thai paperwork etc. i visted my daughter last week and her school. Alls well.

Bargirl hasnt been home for 4 months.

The essence of my post is, no matter what you do, give or feel, there are tjose who will shake you down.

An appaling situation, waste of affection, time and love.

Just wanted to share...

Just sail a steady ship, virtually all of is know someone that has battled cancer. It takes a long time to recover physically, and even longer for many people emotionally.

Getting involved in a custody battle could knock you back a bit. Do whatever it takes to keep an even keel.

Years ago when I was going through a tumultuous time my Dad told me this.......in connection with my divorce and officialdom......

" Nobody cares, your lawyer isn't lying awake at night worrying about you, the court officials couldn't care less, the judge even less so. To the bank manager your only a number and an automatically generated letter, to your Doctor your only a guy he's sees once in a blue moon. The only person lying awake and worrying is you. The sooner realize that the better ".

The sooner we all realize that the better I say.

On the other hand, fighting for his daughter could be the very best therapy.

[mauGR1]

Well, Mr. Jack 244, to whom i wish the best of luck, has been brave to share his story..

..But, i wonder how many foreigners living here are in total denial..

A friend of mine is a carpenter for a company in Europe, he saves money all year, so he can afford a nice 5 weeks holiday in winter..

... His big boss, a wealthy guy, has a wife , and house, car and whatever... married in Thailand since few years..

My friend used to think his boss is a very happy and lucky guy, until recently, as he got invited for some birthday at his boss's house.

Well, believe me, my friend had almost tears in his eyes when he described what his boss has to endure, as an unwanted guest, in the house he bought for his dear wife...Waiting to be kicked out as soon as he stops the dosh flow.

Also, as somebody has noticed, a normal, ordinary lady can be as mean as the meanest bar hostess.

But, as we all know, there is no reasoning involved when we think with the small head..

Just saying..

[jpeg]

Just wanted to share,

I have finally hooked up with a teacher, know for many years, beautiful, no ties, no ex's, open, honest. As an example, last week, she was paid her salary, she withdrew it all and offered me it....she reasoned I take good care of her and she loves me (I didn't take it). Having been bitten once, I am in the dilemma, but am giving this new relationship a go.

For anyone coming and going, consider buying your loved one a iPhone or Blackberry, on iPhone use the find my phone feature and on Blackberry activate protection, does the same thing. Another website, trakmypartner.com maybe of use.

I am feeling better, not too bitter, but suspect of things too nice in the LOS.

Just wanted to share.

All that crap about money and not so much a mention of where your daughter fits into the whole new state of affairs. Your priorities are pretty clear. What self indulgent waffle.

Agreed. And quote 'awaiting many millions of 'bar fines' to hit my bank.'? Was/is the OP one of the many farang backing these bar beers aka brothels here, thus perpetuating this 'evil women' trade too then? I'm confused.

[jack244]

Hey thanks. As fir dayghter, well pointed out, i have engaged a local lawyer who is charged with arranging some welfare arangement.

Upon discovety, i adked if daughter coukd come eith me. She agreed instantly. She slready has previously given her elder son up.

I now await the saga of thai paperwork etc. i visted my daughter last week and her school. Alls well.

Bargirl hasnt been home for 4 months.

The essence of my post is, no matter what you do, give or feel, there are tjose who will shake you down.

An appaling situation, waste of affection, time and love.

Just wanted to share...

Just sail a steady ship, virtually all of is know someone that has battled cancer. It takes a long time to recover physically, and even longer for many people emotionally.

Getting involved in a custody battle could knock you back a bit. Do whatever it takes to keep an even keel.

Years ago when I was going through a tumultuous time my Dad told me this.......in connection with my divorce and officialdom......

" Nobody cares, your lawyer isn't lying awake at night worrying about you, the court officials couldn't care less, the judge even less so. To the bank manager your only a number and an automatically generated letter, to your Doctor your only a guy he's sees once in a blue moon. The only person lying awake and worrying is you. The sooner realize that the better ".

The sooner we all realize that the better I say.

On the other hand, fighting for his daughter could be the very best therapy.

Hi, and maybe very true.

What drove me to share, was meeting a farang last night, he told me his story, same issues, same area in Issan, and he lost everything.

Having had a very successful career and lifestyle, taken away quickly, I am left with this issue, however, with time on my hands and a pretty holistic view of a way forward, all give me the strength to feel confident, no matter what is ahead.

On arrival, I met BG and we spoke about our daughter. A shocking conversation which I will not comment on. Least to say, she readily agreed to give her up, at a price. She apologised for everything she had done, cried too... and asked if we could go out together that night, then asked if I would keep to our original plan (marry, buy/build a home etc)..... It transpires she thought I would never return, maybe correct. I noticed BG had two new tattoos, tattooed eyebrows and bleached effect hair...hmmm just what I need.

In the village, the family couldn't look me in the eye. hmm. I stayed three days, had care as often as I could, spoke to the local Dr and School, all is well. Upon leaving, I was asked to give money for my daughter....I instead asked them to provide a list of needs, fees or whatever. I dropped off her medical card (no more calls for medical expenses which is every two weeks) and bought her needs, paid her nursery fees for the year and dropped a bundle to a faring in the village who will drip feed them as needed.

I was down in the dumps for a while, really down, feeling all those feelings, but one thing struck me, 'gold digging' then the exit strategy for me. How easy is it for any girl to turn the tables? I have since read many stories and am grateful, she didn't shake me down and is in fact left in a dire situation all of her own making. All for a quick brownie for a night of drunken fumblings.

This farang remains upbeat, is grateful for finding out sooner and moving onwards. Am sure there will be ups and downs ahead, I have dealt with the worst of things, how much more can one sustain? I am resilient and spookily feel better having shared here. Both positive and negative comments have been shown.

The LOS is lovely, the culture and weather fantastic, my faith to be here and raise the little one overwhelms the BG issues. I have a lovely new start....

Onwards and upwards.

[jack244]

Just wanted to share,

I have finally hooked up with a teacher, know for many years, beautiful, no ties, no ex's, open, honest. As an example, last week, she was paid her salary, she withdrew it all and offered me it....she reasoned I take good care of her and she loves me (I didn't take it). Having been bitten once, I am in the dilemma, but am giving this new relationship a go.

For anyone coming and going, consider buying your loved one a iPhone or Blackberry, on iPhone use the find my phone feature and on Blackberry activate protection, does the same thing. Another website, trakmypartner.com maybe of use.

I am feeling better, not too bitter, but suspect of things too nice in the LOS.

Just wanted to share.

All that crap about money and not so much a mention of where your daughter fits into the whole new state of affairs. Your priorities are pretty clear. What self indulgent waffle.

Agreed. And quote 'awaiting many millions of 'bar fines' to hit my bank.'? Was/is the OP one of the many farang backing these bar beers aka brothels here, thus perpetuating this 'evil women' trade too then? I'm confused.

Perhaps Beer Bars, and I am no expert.

Bar fines quote... pun.

No need to be confused.

RTFQ I have a lovely lady, as quoted.!

[krisb]

I wish you well for your health and congratulations on your daughter going to live with you.

All the best for you both!

[HardenedSoul]

Congrats to the OP for beating the cancer - I'm told the fighting that particular monster puts everything into perspective.

I do get the sense, however, that he's just one of those guys who has this kind of crap happen to them by dint of the way they see women.

I mean, he says he's "moved in the new lady" like he's just installed a new boiler. He alludes to "millions in barfines" as if he's going on a trolley dash.

Hey, it's his choice if he wants to commoditise Thai women like that but just because they're not particularly well-educated, it doesn't mean they're idiots. They know full well when a guy thinks he's got the key to the city/town/village as far as replacement women are concerned and they know that some guys think their wallets transform them into Brad Pitt.

Thing is, they also know how to make these men see the error of their ways . . . often at considerable cost.

[Roadman]

"For anyone coming and going, consider buying your loved one a iPhone or Blackberry, on iPhone use the find my phone feature and on Blackberry activate protection, does the same thing. Another website, trakmypartner.com maybe of use."

Loved one? In the context of this paragraph? Give us a break!

Well done on beating the cancer and reclaiming your daughter.

[maprao]

Take your wife with you to Farangland, the Middle East wherever. Then settle together in Thailand. Long distance relationships do no or rarely work in Thailand. They view sex and fidelity in a totally different way to westerners.

If she does not want to live with you as a family why bother getting married in the first place.Life with your wife is a partnership.How did you manage 37 trips in 36 months? I do not doubt your word. That has to be like a 3 weeks on 3 weeks off rotation. Wow lucky man.

Hope the health keeps up. Don't fall into the trap again. I like the saying "Fall for it once shame on her fall for the same trick shame on me (you)"

Good luck in the future.

Edited August 8, 2013 by maprao