DudleyPunt Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 (edited) Dear All, I was directed to this site by Google. I am embarrassed about my decisions of how I came to this situation so I could do without the jibes . Basically, four year ago I decided I was going to marry a Thai after spending three yearly holidays in Pattaya and Manila on naughty boy holidays. The Agent I used in the North of England for my tours also arranged for me to have some introductions to good ones in Bangkok. I was adamant that I was not going to marry a Brass or one worker connected in any way shape or form to the sex industry. Anyway, after a couple of weeks of intros I spent the next 12 months back and forth getting to know one in particular. We then married, I paid the dowry tax and brought her back to the UK. Since then she has got indefinite leave to remain and she doesn't work, she just sits around eating Thai food with other ones, all gossiping and comparing assets. BUT she is cheating and I found out 6 months ago that she is banging a Thai Lad (a Chef at a Thai restaurant more her age range, she's 19 years younger than me) and she is also banging an older, affluent Brit. I guess there are others and I would not be surprised if she was a Brass here too (I found out a year into marriage that she had a lot of farangs in Thailand which usually means Brass). I want to send her back. Is there any way I can get her deported if I can prove she is just from an agency and it hasn't worked out due to her ways? I want out of this ASAP. Life's too short. I don't want her hanging around the town if I just ask her to move out. Cheers. Ted Edited August 11, 2013 by DudleyPunt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post 7by7 Posted August 11, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted August 11, 2013 As she now has ILR she can remain in the UK indefinitely even though her marriage to you has now broken down. The only way her ILR would be cancelled and she removed from the UK was if she was convicted of a crime which incurred a custodial sentence; and even then it would not mean automatic removal. Unless you can prove that she obtained her initial visa or her ILR through fraud; but that would land you in the do-do as well as you would have had to have been complicit in that fraud. Divorce her and move on; just as you would if she were British. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theoldgit Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 7by7 is spot on, you cannot just have her removed from the UK. If you are going to consider a divorce you need to start getting some legal advice and start thinking about how you can protect your assets, rest assured she will be doing so. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Upnotover Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 Take the "agent" to court, maybe you can get the "dowry tax" back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theoldgit Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 The OP has come onto this forum for advice, not a lecture. If you have some constructive advice to offer please do so. A number of nonsensical posts removed. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David48 Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 I must admit, it's a sad lesson all round and one that we could well heed. Cheers to the OP for the bottle to share with us. Mate, I hope it works out for an acceptable outcome for you. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
7by7 Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 The only way her ILR would be cancelled and she removed from the UK was if she was convicted of a crime which incurred a custodial sentence; and even then it would not mean automatic removal. Should add that if you can persuade her to leave the UK for a continuous period of two years then her ILR will lapse; but from what you say that is unlikely. Slight tangent, and no use to you, but cases such as yours show that although much of the changes to the family migration rules which came into force July 2012 were ill thought out, increasing the residential qualifying period for ILR for spouses and partners from 2 years to 5 was, in my opinion, a sound move. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post BookMan Posted August 11, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted August 11, 2013 I want to send her back. Is there any way I can get her deported if I can prove she is just from an agency and it hasn't worked out due to her ways? Bit like a bad dog being returned to the shelter I expect? You went to the agency. You married her. You moved her to England. Relationship failed. Like any relationship gone wrong you need to end the relationship and let her go and do whatever she wants to do. If she is entitled to legally stay in England then so be it. Where she lives might not be palatable to you, but really there is nothing you can do. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjj Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 Is sounds like you want to punish her, which is understandable. But my advice to you would be just to kick her out and divorce her, then move on with your life. Don't spend to many hours/days/weeks/months/years thinking about what went wrong, just accept it did and move on. Best of luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard W Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 Unless you can prove that she obtained her initial visa or her ILR through fraud; but that would land you in the do-do as well as you would have had to have been complicit in that fraud. There is the theoretical possibility that OP's wife did not intend to live with the OP permanently, which might theoretically count as a severe enough lack of candour to be judged as misrepresentation. However, as she hasn't moved out of her own accord, I can't see a tribunal agreeing to that on the balance of probabilities, even in the remote (c. 0%) chance of the authorities trying to strip her of ILR on that ground. Meeting one's future wife through an agency is not a disqualification to her settlement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
7by7 Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 (edited) I agree, these days many British/foreign couples and even more British/British couples meet through an agency. By fraud, though, I meant supplying fraudulent documents in her visa and/or ILR application as to her or the OP's status or one or both of them making fraudulent statements in either of those applications. As you say, difficult for the OP to prove; unless he was complicit in the fraud himself. Which could lay him open to prosecution, could it not? Edited August 11, 2013 by 7by7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard W Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 By fraud, though, I meant supplying fraudulent documents in her visa and/or ILR application as to her or the OP's status or one or both of them making fraudulent statements in either of those applications.As you say, difficult for the OP to prove; unless he was complicit in the fraud himself. Which could lay him open to prosecution, could it not? It might, but I am not sure about the criminal courts' jurisdiction in such matters. If the conspiracy and the fraud took place in Thailand, would a British criminal court have jurisdiction, and if not, could and would the Thai authorities extradite? I can't remember whether an ILR application requires the resident spouse to confirm that the marriage is legally valid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
7by7 Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 If applying for ILR as the spouse or partner of a British citizen/UK resident then the applicant's spouse or partner does have to sign a declaration to confirm that the marriage/partnership is still extant and that they and the applicant are living together and intend to continue doing so. The declaration includes a statement to the effect that the signatory is aware that making a false statement or otherwise aiding an attempt to obtain LTR by deception is a criminal offence. See page 33 of form SET(M). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrantSmith Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 This sounds ridiculous, however, indulge my tin foil hat tendencies... Does the OP have any connection here in Thailand, more specifically connected connections? Perhaps the OP could deliver an envelope - the same colour as his marriage - with contents to satisfy the curiosity of someone within the Ministry that deals with certain documents that allows ones citizens to travel. Imply by the contents of said envelope that you would like your wife's document that allows her to travel revoked for reasons that involve sinister misgivings. Having had that completed... An anonymous tip to the authorities in the UK informing them of the situation and boom, she's on her way home via a stint in an IDC... Might be cheaper than a divorce Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simple1 Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 Is sounds like you want to punish her, which is understandable. But my advice to you would be just to kick her out and divorce her, then move on with your life. Don't spend to many hours/days/weeks/months/years thinking about what went wrong, just accept it did and move on. Best of luck. OP: I have no doubt whatsoever that your wife has a backup plan in case you tell her to move out. Prior to doing so secure your bank account info and other essential documents, change the locks and your phone number etc. Suggest you just say you no longer have any feeling for her. Do not make allegations of infidelity or prostitution as will likely just end in useless arguments. Give her some money for a few weeks/month living expenses. Do not know UK law, but I assume there would be a waiting period after separation before divorce action can commence. All very painful for you emotionally and socially, but you have no choice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basil B Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 (edited) One has to consider the OP's motives, clearly in his own words he is upset she is not working and costing him money, and obviously being in the UK she is likely to get something in a divorce settlement, getting her deported won't cost him a penny and save him a packet. And as always there are two sides to a story. Edited August 11, 2013 by Basil B 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
7by7 Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 GrantSmith, Not sure what you are on about. Unless the OP can prove that her Thai passport was obtained fraudulently then this is of no concern to the Thai authorities. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wooloomooloo Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 I want out of this ASAP. Life's too short. There we have it. Life is too short to be embarking on a pointless exercise to get your wife kicked out. Phone UKBA and they'll give you short shrift. Make the divorce as acrimonious as you like, but it will only prolong the agony. Does your wife know you want to divorce? If you want out as soon as possible, seek legal advice and endeavour to come to an amicable settlement with your wife. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrantSmith Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 GrantSmith, Not sure what you are on about. Unless the OP can prove that her Thai passport was obtained fraudulently then this is of no concern to the Thai authorities. That was the premise of my comment, bit of greasing the wheel, would see the impossible possible in the merry old land of smiles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aussiebebe Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 Just divorce her if it's not working out and thank your lucky stars there are no kids involved. Thinking about how awful your situation could be will make life seem a whole lot better! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I Like Thai Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 This sounds ridiculous, however, indulge my tin foil hat tendencies... Does the OP have any connection here in Thailand, more specifically connected connections? Perhaps the OP could deliver an envelope - the same colour as his marriage - with contents to satisfy the curiosity of someone within the Ministry that deals with certain documents that allows ones citizens to travel. Imply by the contents of said envelope that you would like your wife's document that allows her to travel revoked for reasons that involve sinister misgivings. Having had that completed... An anonymous tip to the authorities in the UK informing them of the situation and boom, she's on her way home via a stint in an IDC... Might be cheaper than a divorce You're 100% correct, it's ridiculous Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 OP, have heard similar stories over the years and personally know a couple of stories in the same vein. A lesson to those who think they are taking a bird to a better life and it will be appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DavidBonnie Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 Be careful she does not get wind of your wishes or before you know it she will obtain legal residency to your house which means you cannot even sell up in years to come without her say so. It is easy to obtain. When she is out, change the locks. Do not let her enter again. Before this collect evidence of her infidelity, you seem sure so there must be a way to do so. She does not know british law and so may not have the wherewithal to take your house etc . . . cut her loose and she will either go back to thailand or move in with one of her 'love' interests. Their problem then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
7by7 Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 Division of assets, including who gets the house, assuming the OP owns it rather than rents, will be a matter for the court to decide when and if they divorce.Speculation on that matter is just that; speculation.Remember this is the UK we are talking about, not California. In the UK the wife does not automatically get half the husband's assets on divorce, and may not get anything if there are no children involved.How the court splits assets 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DekDaeng Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 I want out of this ASAP. Life's too short. There we have it. Life is too short to be embarking on a pointless exercise to get your wife kicked out. Phone UKBA and they'll give you short shrift. Make the divorce as acrimonious as you like, but it will only prolong the agony. Does your wife know you want to divorce? If you want out as soon as possible, seek legal advice and endeavour to come to an amicable settlement with your wife. Get evidence of what she is up to if you can. Hold it in reserve. Or not, up to you, T.I.T. ;-) When you split, change all the locks, & add some new ones. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wooloomooloo Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 Get evidence of what she is up to if you can. Hold it in reserve. Or not, up to you, T.I.T. ;-) This is Thailand? It's the UK. Please keep up. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrantSmith Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 OP was directed here by google, I wonder what his search parameters were Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 Get legal advice before changing locks. As I understand it, the marital home is jointly the property of husband and wife, and each is entitled to access. The OP could find himself in VERY big trouble. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim walker Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 Is it not completely your fault for marrying her in the first place, and now you just want to get rid of her by having her deported, you seem to be a very decent amicable person who has obviously tried everything to save his marriage, it was you who chose to marry her I am sure she never held a gun to your head, if you want her deported I am sure she would happily leave the UK no problem if you gave her a substantial payment as her divorce settlement then she would be a rich Thai lady in Thailand which I am sure she would be more than happy to do, and then all your troubles would go away No Wife and you will be free to join the hunt for a new wife once again, I would stick to a nice loving faithful UK wife this time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DudleyPunt Posted August 11, 2013 Author Share Posted August 11, 2013 As she now has ILR she can remain in the UK indefinitely even though her marriage to you has now broken down. The only way her ILR would be cancelled and she removed from the UK was if she was convicted of a crime which incurred a custodial sentence; and even then it would not mean automatic removal. Unless you can prove that she obtained her initial visa or her ILR through fraud; but that would land you in the do-do as well as you would have had to have been complicit in that fraud. Divorce her and move on; just as you would if she were British. She, like many other Thai women married to older farangs, are banging younger Guys. I suspect she was seeing the Chef in Thailand before we married. I have no intention of treating her as if she is British. She's a mail order bride. One step up from marrying a Pattaya bar girl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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