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Posted

It has come to my attention that a dear friend of mine and beloved member of the Bangkok gay community, Mr. T.S., has this week passed away in London from complications of cancer. He is survived by his ex-wife, his two married children and their families, one in England, and one in the U.S., and by his partner of the last 2 years in Bangkok, as well as innumerable friends of all kinds in many, many countries.

I might as well make this post in the teaching subforum as well as the gay one, as Mr. T.S. had a long and illustrious teaching career. At the time he first became headmaster of a school in London, he was the youngest headmaster ever in Britain until that time. He was an educational consultant in several countries including the U.S., and worked as a headmaster in various international schools. In Thailand, he was my mentor and supporter in my ongoing battle for professionalism in Thai schools, giving me a solid anchor and reference point for international standards.

Mr. T.S. could have worked many more years than he did, but chose to take early retirement after a brief medical scare in his 50s. He became a world traveller and long-term backpacker, in fact, only settling permanently once again here in Thailand at the twilight end of his 60s. Many of my anecdotes in favour of the chances of older persons dating younger ones come from knowing him and others "young in spirit" like him- he warned me himself that "no one back home will believe these things."

His decline was as swift as it was surprising; he had been in excellent good health and was enviously attractive for his age; many of younger age in his community felt he was sure to outlive them by far. It is a testament to his good sense and vision that he had the years after his early retirement in which to enjoy himself and see the world, rather than work longer in anticipation of great old age, which was regrettably denied him.

Mr. T.S. was also a dear personal friend and a great pleasure to know. His intelligence, experience, and humour were a frequent addition to dinners and many other social occasions in my circle of friends. He gave wonderful parties and kept up with the theater; he was still travelling even shortly before he became ill. A number of people of all ages benefitted from his advice and generosity, and I owe him for a number of wise decisions he helped me to make over the last few years.

It is a sign of how beloved he was that in his last few months, upon his return to London, his very first English boyfriend from his teen years (who is now married- and whose wife also became his dear friend) watched over him at home and then in the hospital, while family and friends gathered in to say goodbye.

Goodbye, Trevor.

Posted

Thanks, Steven. It's a moving testimonial to a man who made positive influences in many lives.

An expatriate from Germany and Canada wrote, "It's never too late, to start all over again." Mr. T.S., however, was in a great sense continuing what he'd done before, but in different places.

You never know when you'll lose a friend, or when you'll go away forever. Tell them now what their friendship means.

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