Sex, Marriage & Mia Nois

[a2396]

I have a few questions regarding, sex, marriage & mia nois in LOS. Are these so-called minor wives common in Thailand? What age & type of men may have them? What age are the women? Do they have wedding ceremony & dowery for this, as in a first marriage? Is it common for young ladies “20something"in rural issan to have sex before marriage? What percentage of Thai-Farang marriages are legally registered? Thanks.

[Maigo6]

I wonder how long this thread lasts ?

Sure some guys have Mia Noi's, pretty much the same as guys have a bit on the side in UK, age is not specific as in UK, and probably more Teenage girls are sexually active in UK than in Thailand.

[kkf123]

so you want to have a 20 year old isaan mia noi, but dont want to give her a dowry.

rofl

way too many guys like OP in Thailand i swear it to God.

[rainman]

encrypted: Are these so-called minor wives common in Thailand?

decoded: will people notice i have a mia noi?

encrypted: What age & type of men may have them?

decoded: do i fit the requirements of a "mia-noi-owner"? (some description of yourself would help here, but pretty much anyone can)

encrypted: What age are the women?

decoded: how young or old can she be?

encrypted: Do they have wedding ceremony & dowery for this, as in a first marriage?

decoded: do i have to spend a lot of money for a mia-noi?

encrypted: Is it common for young ladies “20something"in rural issan to have sex before marriage?

decoded: will a "20something" lady have sex with me after she has become my mia noi or will she only go eat pizza with me?

encrypted: What percentage of Thai-Farang marriages are legally registered?

decoded: will people look at me in a weird way if i dont marry my mia-noi?

.........

so uhm ...i assume you want a mia noi. right? are you even married yet? if not, you may just get a girlfriend, comes with the same liabilities and benefits but you dont need to worry about her being a mia noi and ask so many questions about the topic. if you're married ..think about asking your wife first. she might even agree! but likely not ...so if you still want a mia noi, why dont you just go ask the lady you want and discuss it with her?

[Nawtilus]

Do we live in the lucky country or what ??

[kkf123]

Do we live in the lucky country or what ??

Thai wifes who dont care about their husbands having something on the side are probably in it for the money, chances are that western wifes in it for the money dont care what their husbands do either, so in the end its just cheaper in Thailand.

[RamdomChances]

Are these so-called minor wives common in Thailand?

nowhere near as commom as people seem to think, probably about the same as western "affairs"

What age & type of men may have them?

Any type and age as long as they have the money to support them

What age are the women?

Twenties, looking for a bit of extra income, older women who have been married before looking to support their families (these are just generalisations)

Do they have wedding ceremony & dowery for this, as in a first marriage?

No

Is it common for young ladies “20something"in rural issan to have sex before marriage?

depends on who you are talking to.

What percentage of Thai-Farang marriages are legally registered?

63.7%

Thanks

No problem

[sierra01]

My marriage is registered, my wife's parents too, her brother and 2 sisters not registered. If I had a Mia Noi I think I'd be short of some of my meat and 2 veg!

[BambinA]

Are these so-called minor wives common in Thailand?

10% is it common? ( just from my opinion ..no record for that staic /poll yet)

What age & type of men may have them?

when they are mature and have plenty money to seek other buffalo for take care

What age are the women?

After they have menstruation

Do they have wedding ceremony & dowery for this, as in a first marriage?

No, just u have plenty bucks in ATM , u are ready for it

Is it common for young ladies “20something"in rural issan to have sex before marriage?

i dont know .. im 30's

What percentage of Thai-Farang marriages are legally registered?

ask them

[phibunmike]

Is it common for young ladies “20something"in rural issan to have sex before marriage

If they do, they get married pretty soon afterwards !!!

[Ajarn_Jonesy]

so you want to have a 20 year old isaan mia noi, but dont want to give her a dowry.

rofl

way too many guys like OP in Thailand i swear it to God.

Hmm Seems to me the op is looking to dip his hands in the cookie jar to much.

If you're going to do that WHY WOULD YOU TELL ANYONE?

But if you are married, HAVE the money NO morals, and dont mind losing your bat and b@!!s go have fun

[mark45y]

Having a mia noi as a Farang is not that easy. Everyone is going to blow you away. When my significant other is gone she receives almost hourly reports on my whereabouts from sources that even surprise me. My home is watched, the grocery store is watched and the drug store is watched. I have to drive three miles and do an auto change routine that would do justice to James Bond to safely buy a pack of condoms.

Of the Thai guys that I know that are well off about 3 in 5 have mia nois.

Issan would be the last place in Thailand I would pick a woman from but your mileage may vary. I think the best place in Thailand to have a mia noi would be a University town like Chiang Mai where there are thousands of young women living away from home and parental supervision and in need of some extra money to buy cell phones. This is preferable to women who are supporting families, they can get violent if their means of support is cut off whereas a student is more likely to blow it off without involving a hit man.

I am acquainted with one well to do Thai gentleman who keeps five uni students but his wife and children live overseas to manage his foreign business operations. It seems like a convenient arrangement for the girls but I don’t know how he keeps up he is 60.

Do young Thai women have sex before marriage? If you listen to Thai young men talk in bars yes almost all of them. If you listen to the women on Thai Visa, none of them. I suspect the answer is somewhere in between.

Are Thai men less monogamous than Western men. Do Thai men have more sex outside of marriage than Western men.

Yes of course. Without a doubt.

You have to be blind deaf and dumb not to see this in Thai life. Or have blinders on or not speak any Thai or have no Thai friends.

Thais go on and on about the corrupt Farangs. But the overwhelming amount of paid sex in and around Thailand and in the border areas of Thailand does not cater to Farangs. It caters to Thais.

That’s one of the things that makes Farangs so attractive to Thai women. Farangs make faithful husbands in a much higher percent than Thai guys. They also drink less and help around the house more and are more attentive to ahem the private areas of the relationship.

Not all Farang are like this. Take me for example. I am a born again Thai guy except for the ahem part and no boxing. If I had a young whippersnapper from Issan as a partner I would likely be dead by now. Thankfully I have a mature Thai woman who has had enough Thai men to appreciate me.

We had a discussion a couple of weeks ago when she was comparing me to a Thai guy angrily. I sat there and waited till she was done and said, “Phom my boxing gup pohm chop gin hoy.” She thought about this and said Ok I stay with you. I want new cell phone OK? OK. And week vacation to Pattaya? OK.

So having a mia noi may have some hidden expenses like vacations and some extra shopping to replace the traditional sin sod.

I like Pattaya anyway and I get to use her new cell phone to take pictures. Although I haven’t quite figured out where to lodge the mia noi in Pattaya because she is insisting on going also.

However I would not suggest having a mia noi is for the inexperienced. I have had mia nois for the past 18 years and the first 8 or 10 were learning experiences. I’m not a quick study and made some mistakes over and over. I think one could reasonably expect the first 5 or 6 to end in disaster either financial or emotional and if kids are involved this can be very unsettling.

I would suggest for the beginning mia noier that a crash pad in a remote part of town and the three tuk tuk auto transfer method be learned. There is also some experience needed in disguise. I am lucky enough to be a short Farang and can blend in. If you are a tall guy or really fat guy this becomes a problem.

Instead of a mia noi have a steady relationship with a working girl to see if you are up to the rigors of a full time mia noi.

You also need alternative methods of communication so you will have to invent a reason to have a second cell phone that is never on ring. You can lock it up in a drawer and have the calls transferred to your computer which works well if you have the technical experience to do this.

If you are retired you will need a job or taking Thai lessons at the college works. Take night courses and schedule a tutor and tell the wife that you have to turn your cell phone off in class.

If you have a job make sure one of the first rules you impose is never calling you at work.

There are I am sure many things I have forgotten that I take for granted. The most important thing is have a bunch of money. Given that you can get out of any situation in Thailand.

That is not true of course in the West. If you have a mia noi in the West you might end up having to retire in Thailand. And everyone knows that would be awful. You have to learn funny words and dance the jin at la and put up with absurd notions of young Thai women. It is a fate worse than death.

My advice in Thailand or the West is don’t do it. It is not worth the price. But you might want to check out the Songkran pics in the Chiang Mai forum. Not that I was there mind you.

PS. Bambina I am surprised at you. Normally you are spot on. Try this. How many Thai males earning 20,000,000 baht per year or $50,000.00 have mia nois?

[a2396]

Having a mia noi as a Farang is not that easy. Everyone is going to blow you away. When my significant other is gone she receives almost hourly reports on my whereabouts from sources that even surprise me. My home is watched, the grocery store is watched and the drug store is watched. I have to drive three miles and do an auto change routine that would do justice to James Bond to safely buy a pack of condoms.

Of the Thai guys that I know that are well off about 3 in 5 have mia nois.

Issan would be the last place in Thailand I would pick a woman from but your mileage may vary. I think the best place in Thailand to have a mia noi would be a University town like Chiang Mai where there are thousands of young women living away from home and parental supervision and in need of some extra money to buy cell phones. This is preferable to women who are supporting families, they can get violent if their means of support is cut off whereas a student is more likely to blow it off without involving a hit man.

I am acquainted with one well to do Thai gentleman who keeps five uni students but his wife and children live overseas to manage his foreign business operations. It seems like a convenient arrangement for the girls but I don’t know how he keeps up he is 60.

Do young Thai women have sex before marriage? If you listen to Thai young men talk in bars yes almost all of them. If you listen to the women on Thai Visa, none of them. I suspect the answer is somewhere in between.

Are Thai men less monogamous than Western men. Do Thai men have more sex outside of marriage than Western men.

Yes of course. Without a doubt.

You have to be blind deaf and dumb not to see this in Thai life. Or have blinders on or not speak any Thai or have no Thai friends.

Thais go on and on about the corrupt Farangs. But the overwhelming amount of paid sex in and around Thailand and in the border areas of Thailand does not cater to Farangs. It caters to Thais.

That’s one of the things that makes Farangs so attractive to Thai women. Farangs make faithful husbands in a much higher percent than Thai guys. They also drink less and help around the house more and are more attentive to ahem the private areas of the relationship.

Not all Farang are like this. Take me for example. I am a born again Thai guy except for the ahem part and no boxing. If I had a young whippersnapper from Issan as a partner I would likely be dead by now. Thankfully I have a mature Thai woman who has had enough Thai men to appreciate me.

We had a discussion a couple of weeks ago when she was comparing me to a Thai guy angrily. I sat there and waited till she was done and said, “Phom my boxing gup pohm chop gin hoy.” She thought about this and said Ok I stay with you. I want new cell phone OK? OK. And week vacation to Pattaya? OK.

So having a mia noi may have some hidden expenses like vacations and some extra shopping to replace the traditional sin sod.

I like Pattaya anyway and I get to use her new cell phone to take pictures. Although I haven’t quite figured out where to lodge the mia noi in Pattaya because she is insisting on going also.

However I would not suggest having a mia noi is for the inexperienced. I have had mia nois for the past 18 years and the first 8 or 10 were learning experiences. I’m not a quick study and made some mistakes over and over. I think one could reasonably expect the first 5 or 6 to end in disaster either financial or emotional and if kids are involved this can be very unsettling.

I would suggest for the beginning mia noier that a crash pad in a remote part of town and the three tuk tuk auto transfer method be learned. There is also some experience needed in disguise. I am lucky enough to be a short Farang and can blend in. If you are a tall guy or really fat guy this becomes a problem.

Instead of a mia noi have a steady relationship with a working girl to see if you are up to the rigors of a full time mia noi.

You also need alternative methods of communication so you will have to invent a reason to have a second cell phone that is never on ring. You can lock it up in a drawer and have the calls transferred to your computer which works well if you have the technical experience to do this.

If you are retired you will need a job or taking Thai lessons at the college works. Take night courses and schedule a tutor and tell the wife that you have to turn your cell phone off in class.

If you have a job make sure one of the first rules you impose is never calling you at work.

There are I am sure many things I have forgotten that I take for granted. The most important thing is have a bunch of money. Given that you can get out of any situation in Thailand.

That is not true of course in the West. If you have a mia noi in the West you might end up having to retire in Thailand. And everyone knows that would be awful. You have to learn funny words and dance the jin at la and put up with absurd notions of young Thai women. It is a fate worse than death.

My advice in Thailand or the West is don’t do it. It is not worth the price. But you might want to check out the Songkran pics in the Chiang Mai forum. Not that I was there mind you.

PS. Bambina I am surprised at you. Normally you are spot on. Try this. How many Thai males earning 20,000,000 baht per year or $50,000.00 have mia nois?

Thank you for your excellent response to my questions. The lady under consideration for possible Mia Noi does not seem to fit the stereotypes. To my knowledge she has not been around much with farangs, if at all. She is 20, so I presume her experience level at such activity is limited, if she has any at all. She seems very sweet, honest and sincere. No demands and reminders for money. In contrast to my present wife, she appears to be a gem, but it is early in the game. So far, there has been no sex, so a major part of this equation is untested and I am not sure about her reasons for avoidance on this.

[greenwanderer108]

Thank you for your excellent response to my questions. The lady under consideration for possible Mia Noi does not seem to fit the stereotypes. To my knowledge she has not been around much with farangs, if at all. She is 20, so I presume her experience level at such activity is limited, if she has any at all. She seems very sweet, honest and sincere. No demands and reminders for money. In contrast to my present wife, she appears to be a gem, but it is early in the game. So far, there has been no sex, so a major part of this equation is untested and I am not sure about her reasons for avoidance on this.

I wouldn't jump to start planning your second (w)life just yet...

Does number 2 know about number 1?

If she knows and refuses to get intimate with you, it's a long shot

If she doesn't know, and still avoiding close contact, it's still a long shot...could be a virgin, could be unattracted to you....could be a number of things

Even if number 2 knows, accepts, and is inviting for further physical advancement, don't be fooled!

Enjoy what sex and pleasure you can get, but stand your ground. In the beginning, when number 2 wants to be number 1 so bad, she will say/do almost anything ...even to the extent where she tells you she absolutely doesn't mind being number 2 and will be a loyal number 2 at that....

They are smart creatures and waiting for the kill...waiting for the right moment where you're wooped....then all of a sudden being number two isn't enough anymore...If you're lucky, you can avoid the conflict and number two will become a memory....go her own way....but many cases...if number 2 is the gem that you describe, you're bound to get hooked to what's in her pants...especially if she's been holding back from you to this point... Than when she's got you hooked, her number two guy we'll show up in a SMS message, or phone call, she's out at the tech...etc. etc. etc.

'It's just a friend, I promise'

You want to believe her...she is so sweet, but she's got you by the hook! What can you say, after all she is number 2... But <deleted>, you entrusted her with your bare XXXX, and if she's sleeping around...what the X#DE!

Not a fun feeling my friend.

And we haven't even began to discuss the drama about number one...that's a whole nother bag of potatos !

But hey, if you like the adrenaline and rush of it...I say live it up and gaurd your balls!

Lot of guys will mention the money factor...That may be true if you have no social skills and are either but ugly or old, but not necessary...

My last number 2 was a college student from a rich family...She knew about number 1 from the start...and I let the pheromones do most of the work...A little wining and dining, yes we shared some of those pre-sex expenses...But in the end, playing the innocent helpless guy will get seduction guns out...Let her make the moves...you simply suggest them sub-conciously...

[a2396]

Thank you for your excellent response to my questions. The lady under consideration for possible Mia Noi does not seem to fit the stereotypes. To my knowledge she has not been around much with farangs, if at all. She is 20, so I presume her experience level at such activity is limited, if she has any at all. She seems very sweet, honest and sincere. No demands and reminders for money. In contrast to my present wife, she appears to be a gem, but it is early in the game. So far, there has been no sex, so a major part of this equation is untested and I am not sure about her reasons for avoidance on this.

I wouldn't jump to start planning your second (w)life just yet...

Does number 2 know about number 1?

If she knows and refuses to get intimate with you, it's a long shot

If she doesn't know, and still avoiding close contact, it's still a long shot...could be a virgin, could be unattracted to you....could be a number of things

Even if number 2 knows, accepts, and is inviting for further physical advancement, don't be fooled!

Enjoy what sex and pleasure you can get, but stand your ground. In the beginning, when number 2 wants to be number 1 so bad, she will say/do almost anything ...even to the extent where she tells you she absolutely doesn't mind being number 2 and will be a loyal number 2 at that....

They are smart creatures and waiting for the kill...waiting for the right moment where you're wooped....then all of a sudden being number two isn't enough anymore...If you're lucky, you can avoid the conflict and number two will become a memory....go her own way....but many cases...if number 2 is the gem that you describe, you're bound to get hooked to what's in her pants...especially if she's been holding back from you to this point... Than when she's got you hooked, her number two guy we'll show up in a SMS message, or phone call, she's out at the tech...etc. etc. etc.

'It's just a friend, I promise'

You want to believe her...she is so sweet, but she's got you by the hook! What can you say, after all she is number 2... But <deleted>, you entrusted her with your bare XXXX, and if she's sleeping around...what the X#DE!

Not a fun feeling my friend.

And we haven't even began to discuss the drama about number one...that's a whole nother bag of potatos !

But hey, if you like the adrenaline and rush of it...I say live it up and gaurd your balls!

Lot of guys will mention the money factor...That may be true if you have no social skills and are either but ugly or old, but not necessary...

My last number 2 was a college student from a rich family...She knew about number 1 from the start...and I let the pheromones do most of the work...A little wining and dining, yes we shared some of those pre-sex expenses...But in the end, playing the innocent helpless guy will get seduction guns out...Let her make the moves...you simply suggest them sub-conciously...

I am serious about this because the potential # 2 seems to be the most sincere and aparently honest (emotionally) woman I have met in a long time from any country. # 2 does know about # 1 and so does her Mother and some family members, who I have all met. Probably the eventual solution to this is to unhitch #1, but that depends on many issues to lengthy to go into here. There is no doubt that #2 wants to be #1, but I need to see some evidence that I will be making an improvement by such a trade. Part of this says strongly yes, but as I mentioned, the physical side is untested and unknown. I do not need another cold fish, such as I have now, who does not like sex in daylight hours, does not like kissing, puts fequency of sex on a time schedule, etc, etc. The # 1 was an arrangement based on money from the beginning. Such marriages that are based primarily on money are totally corrupt. Any reference or implication about morality in such a situation from the other posters here, they can take it to the toilet.

It could be possible that #2 has another "admirer" around somewhere in the woodwork, but if so she deserves an academy award for acting ability. This will take some time to "sort out", but the present situation is intolerable.

[girlx]

ugh. men.

[Master Chief]

Ugh men, must agree that OP life is hel_l as he has to choose between two girls. But I think OP have promised too many things to his 2#. She is controling his life and she seems to be very good at it too. Maybe he should stay with 1# and never talk about this or just dump both of them and move to Chang Mai.

[Thaipwriter]

Issan would be the last place in Thailand I would pick a woman from but your mileage may vary. I think the best place in Thailand to have a mia noi would be a University town like Chiang Mai where there are thousands of young women living away from home and parental supervision and in need of some extra money to buy cell phones.

Isaan's "capital" Khon Kaen has at least 5 universities and something in the region of 50,000 students who reside locally at one time time. Lets say 50% of them are female.

There's plenty to choose from

[Donz]

whats a mia nois??

[LaoPo]

whats a mia nois??

Are you joking?

A Mia Noi in Thailand is the second (or third..or more) 'wife'; or a girlfriend who's (financially/sexually )supported by a man who is legally married to another (wife).

Quite common in middle and upper class but not just in Thailand; it's quite common all over SEA.

LaoPo

[Donz]

I would love to have a few wifes hehehhehe

the fiancee probaly wont like the idea though.

Fantasy wise 7 would be great 1 for each day, realistically they would drive me mad, i might be able to handle 2, but 7 women??

I would have a migrane all week. (just kidding girls)

[a2396]

I am still in the process of "sorting things out" with this situation. The potential mia noi is a bit confusing, because there has been no physical intimacy yet (she says she is a virgin). and the Mother and another "go between" translator lady keep wanting to have some sort of Bhudda ceremony, to make everything "kosher", at it were. Anyone ever heard of having a Bhudda ceremony for a mia noi?? Most friends I ask have not.

[LaoPo]

I am still in the process of "sorting things out" with this situation. The potential mia noi is a bit confusing, because there has been no physical intimacy yet (she says she is a virgin). and the Mother and another "go between" translator lady keep wanting to have some sort of Bhudda ceremony, to make everything "kosher", at it were. Anyone ever heard of having a Bhudda ceremony for a mia noi?? Most friends I ask have not.

Can't answer about the Buddha ceremony, but it seems to me that the future Mia Noi-family-in-law ( ) is looking forward to have a nice Farang milk cow for their 20 year old daughter...

LaoPo

[bina]

yes it is done; thai friend here had a thai woman mia noi here (in israel) and did the string ceremony with all of his friends and me and my kids etc attending also... now back in thailand, went to see his mia noi first, then a month later to his wife and kids.... mia noi wants to have a baby.... he has supported her for two years w/o seeing her (she went home to mom after job finished); and he sent her money every month thru western union etc, his wife got the rest of his salary to the bank....

i was a mia noi (w/o the financial part)for three years.... the mia luang knew about me but since i was here and she was there, no problems (discussed this already on other threads)....mia noi is really an other wife, not just a floozy for fun.... you are still committing yourself to someone....

just remember, if other people are involved like matchmaker types, then they have a good strong hold on you by the hairs of your u know what.... and if your wife doesnt agree to this (didnt read whole thread ), u might need to use a steel crotch protector; and a young mia noi is much more trouble then an older woman like my friend (40+, doesnt need to have her man with her every minute of the day, independant, not clingy, has own noodle business from her 'salary', own home, etc.)she will be expecting much more of you, or she may ahve a pua noi on the side too.........

seems to me, on reading back aways, that u dont want a mia noi, u want a different wife, and u want to guarntee one before divorcing the other, etc... ... for me, being the mia noi, it was a three year thing we really cared for each other, his wife is in thailand, and i was divorced, now he is no longer here, and i knew from very beginning that his wife and family there have priority .... he would not have had a mia noi if in thailand, but here he needed the closeness, and intimicay, (sex was a by product)etc... 'ob uun' warmth as thai say

my present and hopefully permanent love of my life (thai bf) is against mia nois altogether ; my partner as a mia noi said he will introduce me as his 'big sister' (pi sao) if i visit if and when i go to thailand since i appear in many photos together with him... this is to save face of his wife and daughter although they both knew about me

btw, the mia nois of the thai men here in israel (mostly filipina women in the 30-40+ age range but some thai women whose husbands left to go home, or found a new woman in thailand) none of them are university types; they are strong, large, capable women, independant, nothing sexy or beautiful about them-- not young and fluffy. they are warm, take care of their men (cleaning, laundry etc on weekends when visiting them) and the men for the most part give them a monthly allowance plus perfume etc etc...the allowance isnt much so that most of the workers' salaries goes to the wife and the mia luang doesnt know about these mia nois. most of these men have the same women for three to five years (visa finishes) and go back to thailand, leaving filipina women here with or w/o babies; the women know from very beginning that this is the case... i still dont know what they do with the photos fo them together at parties and stuff since i photo quite a bit....recently ran in to some thai women workers, they also 'work' spare time at thai men's parties, but they are looking to be a mia noi... better to belong to one person than many, even if u have to share with a wife back home...

Edited May 10, 2006 by bina

[greenwanderer108]

my present and hopefully permanent love of my life (thai bf) is against mia nois altogether ;

Often times, mia nois or number 2s are not something that was planned or envisioned based on ones (lack of) morals....but happen in the 'heat' of the moment. My previous number 2 was about sex...not necesarily the status part about saying I had a second wife...

A Gik by some's definition...i still prefer number 2, 3, 4, etc.

[LaoPo]

my present and hopefully permanent love of my life (thai bf) is against mia nois altogether ;

Often times, mia nois or number 2s are not something that was planned or envisioned based on ones (lack of) morals....but happen in the 'heat' of the moment. My previous number 2 was about sex...not necesarily the status part about saying I had a second wife...

A Gik by some's definition...i still prefer number 2, 3, 4, etc.

You're quite experienced for a 22 year old lad...

BTW: is a Mia Noi not about sex in the first place? (apart from the outside-Thailand situations Bina described)

LaoPo

[GoodHeart]

Often times, mia nois or number 2s are not something that was planned or envisioned based on ones (lack of) morals....but happen in the 'heat' of the moment. My previous number 2 was about sex...not necesarily the status part about saying I had a second wife...

A Gik by some's definition...i still prefer number 2, 3, 4, etc.

I second LaoPo. There is nothing in the above quote that relates to a mia noi. On the contrary, everything points to a gik relationship.

A very close Thai friend and confidant- in her early 50's- once told me her family story. Seems her Thai-Chinese father found himself a Thai woman he liked and married her. Two years later, his family decided she was not working out to their standards. They proposed a solution: they found him a more suitable wife. He protested, saying he had already married. They were not to be denied, so he kept wife one and married wife two- with the families blessings.

He, unlike those foolhardy falang who think it so non-chalant, was aware from the start of the responsibility involved. And therefore, in order to protect the dignity and self-respect of the two households, he located them on opposite sides of the city. One week at one house and the one following at the other. Upon retirement it became one month here, then one month there.

The responsibility extended to every aspect of the households: if one house got a fridge, so too did the other. Need a new car? He saved for two, then did the shopping....

Does that sound remotely like Greenwanderers experience? Well, perhaps a lot has changed in 50 years. Be that as it may, I seriously believe that we foolishly gloss over that mia nois are in fact a wives- whether major or minor, there is a spousal responsibility owed to both parties in Thai society.

As to the original posters' situation: How will this Mother stack up as your new Mother-in-Law? Do your think her requests will end once the union is established? Why don't you do some math and calculate what it will cost to put the first wife out to pasture? It may be worth proposing that to the new family as a limiting factor in your desirability factor to them.

Edited May 11, 2006 by GoodHeart

[bina]

He, unlike those foolhardy falang who think it so non-chalant, was aware from the start of the responsibility involved. And therefore, in order to protect the dignity and self-respect of the two households, he located them on opposite sides of the city. One week at one house and the one following at the other. Upon retirement it became one month here, then one month there.

yep, thats what i was trying to say; mia noi really is a wife, not a little thing on the side; but an other wife with all that goes with it both ways....

[a2396]

yes it is done; thai friend here had a thai woman mia noi here (in israel) and did the string ceremony with all of his friends and me and my kids etc attending also... now back in thailand, went to see his mia noi first, then a month later to his wife and kids.... mia noi wants to have a baby.... he has supported her for two years w/o seeing her (she went home to mom after job finished); and he sent her money every month thru western union etc, his wife got the rest of his salary to the bank....

i was a mia noi (w/o the financial part)for three years.... the mia luang knew about me but since i was here and she was there, no problems (discussed this already on other threads)....mia noi is really an other wife, not just a floozy for fun.... you are still committing yourself to someone....

just remember, if other people are involved like matchmaker types, then they have a good strong hold on you by the hairs of your u know what.... and if your wife doesnt agree to this (didnt read whole thread ), u might need to use a steel crotch protector; and a young mia noi is much more trouble then an older woman like my friend (40+, doesnt need to have her man with her every minute of the day, independant, not clingy, has own noodle business from her 'salary', own home, etc.)she will be expecting much more of you, or she may ahve a pua noi on the side too.........

seems to me, on reading back aways, that u dont want a mia noi, u want a different wife, and u want to guarntee one before divorcing the other, etc... ... for me, being the mia noi, it was a three year thing we really cared for each other, his wife is in thailand, and i was divorced, now he is no longer here, and i knew from very beginning that his wife and family there have priority .... he would not have had a mia noi if in thailand, but here he needed the closeness, and intimicay, (sex was a by product)etc... 'ob uun' warmth as thai say

my present and hopefully permanent love of my life (thai bf) is against mia nois altogether ; my partner as a mia noi said he will introduce me as his 'big sister' (pi sao) if i visit if and when i go to thailand since i appear in many photos together with him... this is to save face of his wife and daughter although they both knew about me

btw, the mia nois of the thai men here in israel (mostly filipina women in the 30-40+ age range but some thai women whose husbands left to go home, or found a new woman in thailand) none of them are university types; they are strong, large, capable women, independant, nothing sexy or beautiful about them-- not young and fluffy. they are warm, take care of their men (cleaning, laundry etc on weekends when visiting them) and the men for the most part give them a monthly allowance plus perfume etc etc...the allowance isnt much so that most of the workers' salaries goes to the wife and the mia luang doesnt know about these mia nois. most of these men have the same women for three to five years (visa finishes) and go back to thailand, leaving filipina women here with or w/o babies; the women know from very beginning that this is the case... i still dont know what they do with the photos fo them together at parties and stuff since i photo quite a bit....recently ran in to some thai women workers, they also 'work' spare time at thai men's parties, but they are looking to be a mia noi... better to belong to one person than many, even if u have to share with a wife back home...

Thank you for your excellent reply. You are correct, I am ultimately looking for a new wife who can give the emotional and physical connection and response that does not exist witht he first, and never did. The first started with and continues to be about money (mostly). The new prospective is nowhere near so obcessed with money. It is always a factor, but it should not be the primary reason a couple gets together. Yes, there was a matchmaker involved in this, but I think we have her neutralized for now. I will probably pay her the ransom money when I get things sorted out. If the # 1 does not agree to this, then we will probably be headed for divorce. The good news is that I have no children or marital property with her. # 1 is not a bad woman, but she entered into this for the wrong reasons and has been "going through the motions" to make the best of it. I live in Thailand so there is no long distance stuff going on.

[greenwanderer108]

I second LaoPo. There is nothing in the above quote that relates to a mia noi. On the contrary, everything points to a gik relationship.

A very close Thai friend and confidant- in her early 50's- once told me her family story. Seems her Thai-Chinese father found himself a Thai woman he liked and married her. Two years later, his family decided she was not working out to their standards. They proposed a solution: they found him a more suitable wife. He protested, saying he had already married. They were not to be denied, so he kept wife one and married wife two- with the families blessings.

He, unlike those foolhardy falang who think it so non-chalant, was aware from the start of the responsibility involved. And therefore, in order to protect the dignity and self-respect of the two households, he located them on opposite sides of the city. One week at one house and the one following at the other. Upon retirement it became one month here, then one month there.

The responsibility extended to every aspect of the households: if one house got a fridge, so too did the other. Need a new car? He saved for two, then did the shopping....

Does that sound remotely like Greenwanderers experience? Well, perhaps a lot has changed in 50 years. Be that as it may, I seriously believe that we foolishly gloss over that mia nois are in fact a wives- whether major or minor, there is a spousal responsibility owed to both parties in Thai society.

As to the original posters' situation: How will this Mother stack up as your new Mother-in-Law? Do your think her requests will end once the union is established? Why don't you do some math and calculate what it will cost to put the first wife out to pasture? It may be worth proposing that to the new family as a limiting factor in your desirability factor to them.

Hold your horses there...never ever claimed to have a mia nowy...

I PREFER TO USE NUMBERS....as in number one, number two, number three...

Gik just has too many uses and meanings...and if the relationship is just based on sex, than it can't be really considered as a Gik by overall use...The use as a sex buddy is more under-ground i.e. males in the locker room type talk...

If I had to use another term instead of number 2, I'd say

BOOTY CALL GIRL

BTW, Number two went on to become an air hostess and I've got a son...She's become someone else's squeeze...but atleast I got the video still....ha ha ha ha just kidding...I thinnk