Bizarre News Headlines

[klons]

Have you ever seen a freaky or bizarre Thai news headline. I have. Thats my idea for

this thread. I’m thinking I should not post this but am going to do it anyway.

Here is my entry which was the actual headline of a story at the dailynews site.

Warning! Graphic content! Do not read if you are squeamish.

ฆ่าแหวะอกตัดลิ้น ควักเครื่องใน ยัดใส่เครื่องซักผ้า

[Lara Alex]

yeah, saw this kind of headlines many times. feel 'ขวัญกระเจิง' (frightened) ...

[bannork]

สุดสะเทือนใจหนุ่มพิเรนทร์ฉีดลมใส่ก้นเด็ก4ขวบไส้ทะลักตายอนาถ

This headline from the Daily News today was a shocker one of the worker's kids had been playing at the rice mill and got covered in the leftovers from the rice bran. His mother told him to go and see 'Koi' to get cleaned up with the air pressure gun for blowing up tyres. Koi claimed to have only put it down the boy's trousers but the doctor send it went right up his backside, the air pressure rupturing his intestines and causing his death. Koi was known for sometimes playing too roughly with kids.

[AyG]

สุดสะเทือนใจหนุ่มพิเรนทร์ฉีดลมใส่ก้นเด็ก4ขวบไส้ทะลักตายอนาถ

This headline from the Daily News today was a shocker one of the worker's kids had been playing at the rice mill and got covered in the leftovers from the rice bran. His mother told him to go and see 'Koi' to get cleaned up with the air pressure gun for blowing up tyres. Koi claimed to have only put it down the boy's trousers but the doctor send it went right up his backside, the air pressure rupturing his intestines and causing his death. Koi was known for sometimes playing too roughly with kids.

When I saw this I immediately thought "urban legend". However, it seems that lots of people end up with air hoses up their holes. Perhaps it's true.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2030062/Electrician-compressed-air-hose-blasted-backside-victim-dangerous-foolish-prank.html

http://gizmodo.com/5805363/truckers-ass-blown-up-like-balloon-in-horrendous-air-hose-accident

http://en.rocketnews24.com/2012/11/19/chinese-man-injects-pressurized-air-into-anus-while-cleaning-pants/

[RickBradford]

นางเอกดัง 'อั้ม พัชราภา' ประกาศเลิก 'ไฮโซแอมป์'-บอกเฮิร์ทหนักหมาตาย

This is where the actress 'Am' announces she has left her long-time hi-so boyfriend Amp because her dog died.

[klons]

เปิบคางคกย่างช็อกดับอนาถ

A man and his son were drinking around the house. They wanted some snacks to go with their drinks. The son went and caught a couple toads which they put on the grill. Dad popped one in his mouth and died.

[klons]

สาวเข้าห้องน้ำเจองูเห่าโผล่หัวในชักโครก

​No matter how bad you need to go, always approach cautiously and look before you sit.

That's not a translation of the headline, just some advice.

[klons]

รุมจวกยับ รร.อนุบาล พาเด็กถ่ายรูปในบ่อจระเข้

[asiaexpat]

I was using the newspaper to improve my reading skills, but my nephew (a Thai) suggested I cease because the headlines do not make sense to Thais frequently. He said he never bothers with headlines because they do not make sense or relate to the actual story.

[bannork]

I was using the newspaper to improve my reading skills, but my nephew (a Thai) suggested I cease because the headlines do not make sense to Thais frequently. He said he never bothers with headlines because they do not make sense or relate to the actual story.[/quote

I have to disagee, the headlines may puzzle or even be misleading, rather lIke sensational headlines in Western tabloids or dare I say, thai visa at times, often they use nicknames of the persons concerned- perhaps the nephew is not familiar with these for example, but for improving Thai reading skills via a newspaper I recommend 2 approaches-

1.Read a story you are familiar with from English language media, the vocab should 'fall in place'as you read the story, thay way you often get the Thai word or phrase for a word you know in English

2. Start by reading the 1 or 2 paragraph short news articles on the inside pages, a drug bust in Chiang Rai, a suicide in Buriram, or on a more cheerful note a lucky find in Udon, an owner and lost dog reunited,etc.Then progress to the longer stories,

If you're an inquisitive soul there's a certain satisfaction to reading a puzzling or thought provoking headline and working through the story to get to the facts.

Then you' ve got more topics to discuss with your nearest and dearest, especially if the news is on TV too.

[klons]

ผงะ! พบศพชายนิรนามลอยในลำตะคอง จนท.กู้ศพทุลักทุเล เหตุตัวเงินตัวทองกำลังรุมแทะร่าง

[klons]

พิลึก! ถุงยางฯ ปลิวว่อน ชาวบ้านหวั่น แหล่งแพร่เชื้อ วอน จนท.กำจัด

(นับหมื่นชิ้น ไม่รู้ใช้แล้วหรือยัง)

[bannork]

ผงะ! พบศพชายนิรนามลอยในลำตะคอง จนท.กู้ศพทุลักทุเล เหตุตัวเงินตัวทองกำลังรุมแทะร่าง

oh my god! An unidentified corpse was found floating in Lamtadong reservoir.Officials struggled to retrieve the corpse as water monitor lizards tore at thebody.

gruesome eh?

[bannork]

พิลึก! ถุงยางฯ ปลิวว่อน ชาวบ้านหวั่น แหล่งแพร่เชื้อ วอน จนท.กำจัด

rubbers.jpg

(นับหมื่นชิ้น ไม่รู้ใช้แล้วหรือยัง)

Bizarre! piles of condoms were fluttering around, scaring the locals they could be a source of disease. They urged the authorities to deal with it. (10,000, it was not known if they were used or not)

If we made the headline in the style of headlines I suppose we could say- Shock condom horror- locals beg for help!

[katana]

Thailand's very own version of Freddie Starr Ate My Hamster: Headline from the Daily News of 06th Nov 2009:
วิปริต!พระเฒ่าเสพเมถุนสุนัขท้อง
http://siamsmile.webs.com/news/monk-dog/monk-dog.html

[bannork]

Thailand's very own version of Freddie Starr Ate My Hamster: Headline from the Daily News of 06th Nov 2009:

วิปริต!พระเฒ่าเสพเมถุนสุนัขท้อง

http://siamsmile.webs.com/news/monk-dog/monk-dog.html

Pervert! An elderly monk has sex with a pregnant dog!1

[klons]

อย่าบีบแตรใส่! ชี้เหตุ‘ช้างเขาใหญ่’ หงุดหงิดไล่กระทืบรถ

[klons]

Thailand's very own version of Freddie Starr Ate My Hamster: Headline from the Daily News of 06th Nov 2009:

วิปริต!พระเฒ่าเสพเมถุนสุนัขท้อง

http://siamsmile.webs.com/news/monk-dog/monk-dog.html

Pervert! An elderly monk has sex with a pregnant dog!1

In line with that news category is this one I saw a couple months ago. Please take note so that no one gets the wrong idea, when I read the story I concluded that “baldy” is not an actual monk, just dressed like one.

ฉาวอีก'โล้น'จับ'นกเขา'ยิ้มโชว์กล้อง

[katana]

Another one in the same vein about a monk dying during a call of nature:
สลด!! พระนั่งถ่ายอุจจาระ-มรณภาพกลางป่า

http://www.khaosod.co.th/view_newsonline.php?newsid=TVRReU1Ua3dNalV6T1E9PQ==&subcatid=

[klons]

สกัดจับวุ่น! หลวงพ่อเมายาดอง พากะเทยซิ่งเก๋ง ถ่ายรูปโป๊ไว้เพียบ

A monk drives to another Wat to เชียร์มวย (cheer boxing ?) where he gets drunk on yah dawng. He meets an eldery woman he knows who asks for a ride home and he agrees. Somewhere on the way back they pick up a drunk ga-tuey who gets in the back seat. After a bit the ga-tuey becomes alarmed and asks the monk to stop the car. The monk refuses and starts cursing at him. The ga-tuey then starts yelling for help from the back seat. Other motorists report to the police they here what sounds like a woman yelling for help from the backseat and describe the car.

After a wild chase they eventually get the monk pulled over and

find a jug of yah dawng and the camera with the porno pictures.

[klons]

สาวออฟฟิศกรี๊ด! ตัวเงินตัวทองมุดกระโปรงหน้า ติดคาห้องเครื่อง

[klons]

Going to fry some bats for sale

จับเกือบ3พันตัว! ‘ค้างคาวสามศร’ สารภาพเอาไปทอดขาย

[Gecko123]

รวบมือค้อนฆ่าทุบหัวลูกเสี่ยรับเหมา สารภาพเจอภาพ

บาดใจเห็นคนตายเดินควงมากับแฟนสาวของตังเองฟิวส์ขาด

Trying to capture tabloid headline writing style, came up with this:

Hammer killer arrested! Bashed in skull of wealthy construction contractor's son! Confesses after seeing photos! Incensed at seeing girlfriend with another guy - blows a fuse!