Brokeback Mountain

[A. BOOZER]

Subject: The real Brokeback Mountain.

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She

was a very good-looking woman, and determined to keep the ranch, but

knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the

newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two men applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She

thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she

decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him

around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew

a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch

was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the

hired hand, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks

great. You should go into town and kick up your heels."

The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock, and no

hired hand. He returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room,

he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of

wine, waiting for him. She quietly called him over to her. Unbutton my

blouse and take it off," she said.

Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots." He did as

she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my socks." He removed each

gently and placed them neatly by her boots. Now take off my skirt."

He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the firelight.

"Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was

told and dropped it to the floor.

"Now," she said, "take off my panties." By the light of the fire, he

slowly pulled them down and off.

Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town

again, you're fired."