The Most Functional English Word

[English Noodles]

> THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD

>

> Well, it's shit ... that's right, shit!

> Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.

>

> Consider:

> You can get shit-faced, Be shit-out-of-luck, Or have shit for

brains.

>

> With a little effort, you can get your shit together, find a place

> for your

> shit, or be asked to shit or get off the pot.

>

> You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit,

> forget shit,

> and tell others to eat shit.

>

> Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference

> between shit and shineola.

>

> There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits. There is bull

> shit,

> horse shit, and chicken shit.

> You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot the shit, or

> duck when

> the shit hits the fan.

>

> You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.

>

> You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.

>

> Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit,

> and some days are just plain shitty.

>

> Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there

> are times

> when you feel like shit.

>

> You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the

> wrong shit

> or a lot of weird shit.

>

> You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up

> shit creek

> without a paddle.

>

> Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you

> fall in a

> bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.

>

>

> When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building

> block of

> the English language.

>

> And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know

anything

> else!!

>

> You could pass this along, if you give a shit; or not do so if you

> don't

> give a shit!

>

> Well, Shit, it's time for me to go. Just wanted you to know that I

> do give

> a shit and hope you had a nice day, without a bunch of shit. But,

> if you

> happened to catch a load of shit from some shit-head...........

> Well, Shit Happens!!!

[paulnuek]

Missed one

>SAFC

>Shit (or mabe just <deleted>)

[stumonster]

######

From "Monty Python"

Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the english language today, is the word ######. Out of all the english words that begin with the letter 'f' ...###### is the only word refered to as 'the f word... It's the one magical word. Just by its sound can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love. ######, as most words in the english language is derived from german ...the word fuieken, which means to strike.

In english, ###### falls into many grammatical categories:

As a transitive verb for intance ...John ######ed Shirley.

As an intransitive verb...Shirley ######s.

Its meaning is not always sexual, it can be used as...

An adjective such as ...John's doing all the ######ing work.

As part of an adverb ...Shirley talks too ######ing much.

As an adverb enhancing an adjective ...Shirley is ######ing beautiful.

As a noun ...I don't give a ######.

As part of a word ...abso######inglutely -or- in######ingcredible.

And as almost every word in a sentence ...###### the ######ing ######ers.

As you must realize, there aren't too many words with the versatility of ######...such as these examples describing situations such as:

Fraud ...I got ######ed at the used car lot.

Dismay ...ahhh ###### it.

Trouble ...I guess I'm really ######ed now.

Agression ...Don't ###### with me buddy.

Difficulty ...I don't understand this ######ing question.

Inquiry ...Who the ###### was that?

Dissatisfaction ...I don't like what the ###### is going on here.

Incompetance ...He's a ######-off.

Dismissal ...Why don't you go outside and play hide and go ###### yourself...

I'm sure you can think of many more examples.

With all these multi-purpose applications, how can anyone be offended when you use the word. We say use this unique, flexible word more often in your daily speech.

It will identify the quality of your character immediately.

Say it loudly and proudly...

...###### YOU!