Why go to so much trouble marrying/dating someone of a different culture, nationality, mentality etc

[Nusquam Humanitus]

Why go to the trouble of getting married to ANY women....Divorce rates in America are 4.95 per 1000 and in Thailand its .58 per 1000 (http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/peo_div_rat-people-divorce-rate )

You do the math!

Whoa! I do like the looks of that site and it seems well managed with a whole bunch of data, but unless I am misunderstanding the ratio meaning, these figures seem waaaaaaaaaay off. Is this 4.95 marriages out of 1,000 marriages end in divorce? HELL NO! Who runs this site. The Vatican? 495 per 1,000 is probably closer, but still a bit shy of the real total.

I do agree with you anyway. Why marry any woman? It's just a three-way contract and the third (most powerful) entity usually makes things much worse, should something bad happen within the institution.

P.S. - The Thai female in the above picture is pretty dam_n far from ugly! Light chocolate for the taste buds!

Yes it does seem a bit low.....but this is the divorce rate vs total population..

In the US there are 6.8 marriages per 1000 AND

3.6 Divorces per 1000...........(yes, I know this conflicts with the earlier statistic....oh well)............................http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/divorce.htm

Seems to suggest a higher than 50% divorce rate for married couples

OK! Got it! That makes much more sense! I think? Something still seems fishy here. 6.8 marriages per 1,000 people? That's a very low number, which actually makes sense given the number of divorces and those younger individuals who are intelligent enough to avoid it like the plague!

P.S. The higher than 50% divorce rate seems much more accurate from what I have personally seen and heard about. Pretty soon the divorce rate will be 100% at 0.0000001 marriages per 1,000 people.

[Tmymaimee]

Why do I date / marry Thai girls despite the cultural gaps? I am 42, look a lot older than 42, short, bald and fairly unattractive. I also have a lot of money. Thailand is perfect for me because back home, money means nothing and will not get you the same level of girlfriend you can achieve in Thailand. I would love to date the truly gorgeous, hi-so models I see around Paragon but they look for guys with way more money than me, as well as guys who are attractive (which I am not).

Everyone wants to meet someone attractive, sexy and fun. Well, in the west at 42 being short, bald and old looking, forget about it. I had a woman in a pet store ask me for coffee last year...about 90 kgs, 50 years old and disgusting.

I now live with a beautiful 29 year old former bar girl in Thailand and couldn't be happier. She absolutely loves sex, keeps the house perfectly clean, loves to joke and now works as a waitress for her own money. I pay the rent and food. I would never, never, never get this level of girl in the west....she wouldn't even look at me twice back home. The simple fact is that I am the best option she can find as well as she only wants a guy who lives here full time.

I always thought there should be a country somewhere around Hawaii where these two cultures could mix and alleviate the shortages of each....abundance of guys in the west and beautiful, single girls in Thailand.

[supashot]

I couldn't agree more but god gave men a brain and a penis but not enough blood to go to both at same time.

[DiamondKing]

Many farangs who decide to marry with women from Thailand have certain defects, such as being unattractive or unfashionable and socially inept, misfits, loners, or have done the rounds in their home countries - become stayed in their ways – maybe have grown old and no longer desirable to younger Western women.

So they have read all the reports and media hype that Thai women are loyal, subservient and given a chance to settle down with a home and a little pocket money each week will be content to settle down with any farang, becoming a sweet little housewife and be grateful for it.

Then later the reality hits home that Thai women are no longer the easily available, cute, sweet, young, subservient little princesses as they were made to believe and that in fact the modern day Thai women are not much different from their Western counterparts, have similar outlooks and ambitions. This is a main reason why so many farangs go for the more desperate Thai women of the poorer lower classes, because most middle to upper class Thai women would prefer to marry a Thai rather than a farang. Culturally it is considered going down the social ladder to marry a farang, especially if there is a big age gap between them. Then these farangs become disgruntled having not been able to buy the girl of their dreams and their love and will blame all Thais and the country as a whole for their failures and errors of choice or for diving in head first on a pipe dream for what was actually a fanciful hope or scheme, especially if they get conned or scammed for their stupidity.

Fairly good write up there, accurate for a decent percentage of cases I would imagine. Although, the part about Thai women "going down the social ladder". If a western guy was to pull up in the middle of Bangkok in a Ferrari I would guess for a huge amount of wealthy Thai women that notion of "going down the social ladder" would be soon discarded.

And how many Westerners do you personally know in Thailand who own a Ferrari or any other types of vehicles of equal status? Obviously the higher the status of the Westerner, the higher his chances are of mixing with the right crowds, especially if he is a businessman or someone of prominence. This pertains to anywhere in the world.

Of course there are always going to be exceptions to the rule, but on the whole what i said still stands.

Who are you to decide who are the right crowd ? this is the problem with thailand and its inequality I teach My kids they are equal to ANYONE and no matter who it is, they should never fall for this bullshit that they are any lower or higher than the next person, I teach them to treat people with respect and how people treat them.

I know MANY MANY couples here, some with lower class partners as you like to refer to them, and some higher class the common factor between them all is they are all in long term relationships with kids and get on great, so who gives a flying F%$CK what someone like you or anyone else who focus's only the social status THINKS.

Anyone that looks down on a person to me is a piece of shit just because they may not of had the opportunities and the privaleges afforded to them as those with more opportunity and in a country where the color of your skin or social status is more important than being a normal human being and treating people as such. .

Edited November 10, 2013 by DiamondKing

[Baerboxer]

..... that in fact the modern day Thai women are not much different from their Western counterparts, have similar outlooks and ambitions.

I never met an English university student in the UK that would have sex with an old guy, two or three times her age, for a tenner.

Really ? That's strange because I haven't met a Thai university student that would either. It's sad that some students turn to coyote, go-go dancing and prostitution to earn money to pay their tuition fees and living expenses whilst trying to get an education to escape the poverty trap. Some of course, have Thai or farang "sugar daddys" throughout their university days.

I saw a UK program a few years ago that reported a large number of UK female undergraduates were working as escorts.

I don't think anyone was reduced to prostituting themselves for a tenner though!

[Andre0720]

Has to do with the quantity of blood available in man's body.

Just not enough to make everything work...

But we should all know that by now...

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time / Robin Williams quote (repost about DSK)

[Baerboxer]

Why do I date / marry Thai girls despite the cultural gaps? I am 42, look a lot older than 42, short, bald and fairly unattractive. I also have a lot of money. Thailand is perfect for me because back home, money means nothing and will not get you the same level of girlfriend you can achieve in Thailand. I would love to date the truly gorgeous, hi-so models I see around Paragon but they look for guys with way more money than me, as well as guys who are attractive (which I am not).

Everyone wants to meet someone attractive, sexy and fun. Well, in the west at 42 being short, bald and old looking, forget about it. I had a woman in a pet store ask me for coffee last year...about 90 kgs, 50 years old and disgusting.

I now live with a beautiful 29 year old former bar girl in Thailand and couldn't be happier. She absolutely loves sex, keeps the house perfectly clean, loves to joke and now works as a waitress for her own money. I pay the rent and food. I would never, never, never get this level of girl in the west....she wouldn't even look at me twice back home. The simple fact is that I am the best option she can find as well as she only wants a guy who lives here full time.

I always thought there should be a country somewhere around Hawaii where these two cultures could mix and alleviate the shortages of each....abundance of guys in the west and beautiful, single girls in Thailand.

It's good to see someone posting a sensible and realistic comment.

Good luck to you and your lady sir !

[JLCrab]

Good for you Kuhn Whereustay -- However, depending on what you might hear on here over the next few days, you may wish you had just kept if to yourself.

[realenglish1]

Some farangs who decide to marry with women from Thailand have certain defects, such as being unattractive or unfashionable and socially inept, misfits, loners, or have done the rounds in their home countries - become stayed in their ways – maybe have grown old and no longer desirable to younger Western women.

So they have read all the reports and media hype that Thai women are loyal, subservient and given a chance to settle down with a home and a little pocket money each week will be content to settle down with any farang, becoming a sweet little housewife and be grateful for it.

Then later the reality hits the fan that Thai women are no longer the easily available, cute, sweet, young, subservient little princesses as they were made to believe and that in fact the modern day Thai women are not much different from their Western counterparts, have similar outlooks and ambitions. This is a main reason why so many farangs go for the more desperate Thai women of the poorer lower classes, because most middle to upper class Thai women would prefer to marry a Thai rather than a farang. Culturally it is considered going down the social ladder to marry a farang, especially if there is a big age gap between them. Then these farangs become disgruntled having not been able to buy the girl of their dreams and their love and will blame all Thais and the country as a whole for their failures and errors of choice or for diving in head first on a pipe dream for what was actually a fanciful hope or scheme, especially if they get conned or scammed for their blind stupidity.

This is a load of crap Sorry to say. It is usually a bar girl that bloks marry and what would you expect with a creature like that. All kinds of social problems. And this person does not understand Thai culture at all

As a farang I speak Thai and have been with my girlfriend for more than 6 years She has a University degree and hold a very good job in Expediting for a multi-national.\

In Thai culture it is views with a certain degree of Honour to have a good farang boyfriend/husband. Not the kind that run around with many woman and drink all the time This is not life this is the gutter.

In any culture Respect the woman Treat he and her family with Dignity and they will be very happy Where do you get the Cutural stuff about going down the lader.

It is the reverse from all the people I know who are Thai.. And if you stop to look you will see many older Thai men with younger girlfriends and wives

So your understanding is more of what you think that what is reality.

As for your comment about Bloks look for thai woman because they are outcasts from their own society.

My first wife died so when I moved to Thailand I found it difficult to go with Farang woman for one simple reason Not too many of them live here in Thailand

I am very happy with my Thai lady. after 6 years and she never never never asks me for money.

So I guess the woman you have experienced are the opposite Woman are woman throughout the world

[AYJAYDEE]

who is this "you" you keep referring to?

[drdoom6996]

OP: Normality is very boring, no one wants to read or write about that.

You never read in the press about how such and such Politician is a loyal loving husband do you? You only ever see the Tabloid gossip, the juicy stuff...

It's the same here on ThaiVisa.com... We only read about the train wrecks, but to draw the assumption that this is representative of majority of relationships between Westerners and Thai's is somewhat naive...

Are you sure?

From what I see happening with my friends and their relationships (many same age couples, many Thai/Thai couples, several old/young couples), it's entirely normal for this country.

I'm basing my assumption on what I see, but also understand the experience of others will differ... All my Western Friends (who are in their 30's) are married to educated and respectable Thai ladies (also in their 30's). These relationships are very normal and equally as normal as any relationship back in the West or a Thai-Thai relationship... i.e. No fireworks, no money issue, no greedy or unfriendly extended family, no major issues which could be blamed on cultural differences....

Thus: Normality in relationships is what I have witnessed.

Of course I have seen the train-wrecks and been involved in a couple myself, but these are not long term relationships and are quickly exited, much like turbulent relationship in the West.

There was a thread which ran for sometime; 'Farang-Thai Relationships - The Good Ones'...

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/564084-farangthai-relationships-the-good-ones/

My guess is that the thread was started by someone in a very normal relationship who decided to 'voice' balance on an otherwise highly bias subject whereby only those who have problems appear to post, thus tipping the scales of opinion toward the negative which tarnishes all mixed relationships as problem relationships...

IMO - this is not true... Hence, in response to the Op: Not all of what we read on these forums is truly representative of our lives in Thailand.

Who cares what you or anybody else thinks of anyone, and why? By the way assume = ass u me. That me an ass out of u and me. Never assume, guess!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OP is trolling!

[duanebigsby]

..... that in fact the modern day Thai women are not much different from their Western counterparts, have similar outlooks and ambitions.

I never met an English university student in the UK that would have sex with an old guy, two or three times her age, for a tenner.

I think you'd be surprised at how many uni students do exactly that back home. Look on craigslist, it's there. The only difference is the price.

[TheSpade]

I had a woman in a pet store ask me for coffee last year...about 90 kgs, 50 years old and disgusting.

I now live with a beautiful 29 year old former bar girl in Thailand and couldn't be happier

So you find a women 8 years older than you disgusting....what do you think your girlfriend 13 years younger thinks about you? You've said yourself you're short, bald and unattractive.

You seem to have alluded earlier in the topic that your money was the main reason girls here were interested in you.

I don't want to offend you or your girlfriend but you talk about how you couldn't get this level of girl back home.

No offense but you're going out with an over the hill prostitute likely from a poor background and you think SHE is the catch? You don't think much of yourself do you?

[rotorbreeze]

Who cares about language and culture??

Beautiful-thai-Women.jpg

I am addressing your reply as a Male>Female relationship

Language: Women whom you talk to in English may not get the real emotions of what you say...so any language spoken to opposite sex is understood differant from a male.

Culture: Women dress for themselves or impress other women not men...the only cuture shared between men and women are....in the bed room..... nothing else.

Trouble: Do you feel you will have a better relationship with same sex...well...being at a gym or tennis...sure I like the fe- male...as for the sight of play and just watch..well watch women play...as a male I do respect the time used in maintaning the physica body..almost always a good relationship...as for women they are distant and kept to themselves....

WHY GO TO SO Much Trouble:

the journey not the arrival is life ... aparently you have not lived...for me I have been in both worlds...helll and heaven...Pattaya hoists both these worlds...where can I re live my adolesant years and awaken younger women in a taste younger men have yet to learn...heaven and hell ...the ying and yang....the hate and love experience..all god's emotions...why are we alive?...should be your question..

Mr. Ron

Edited November 10, 2013 by rotorbreeze

[spidermike007]

Perhaps many of us have tired of joylessness. Waking up next to someone who is embittered, hostile, joyless, sluggish, heavy hearted, and difficult. Does any of this register? I tried and tried and could not find a light hearted woman in all of North America. I am sure they exist, but I could not find one, especially one who was ok with me wearing the pants. Of course if you are comfortable with emasculation, than American or Europe are perfect for you. Does not work for me. I love being with a woman who embraces her own femininity, and is not scared to death of it. Being with most western women is a bit like being with a man. If I wanted someone who was more masculine than myself, that is what I would seek out, but that is not what gets me going. I am not speaking of a submissive woman. The woman I am with is powerful, strong willed, has the heart of a tiger, and is super smart. But she loves to be a woman. Most western woman do not even know what it is like to be a real woman.

[RikDao]

I like a challenge

Pretty funny. So do I like a challenge.

I'm noo in Thailand, from the good ol' USA, and recently married a Thai woman much younger than myself. Why? Well, lots of reasons, but mainly because I love her and she loves me.

I know, I know; I'm getting conned, right? Maybe, maybe not. She has a degree, is financially stable, healthy and optimistic, and, like me, doesn't drink. What's more, she has a great sense of humor, meaning she laughs at most of my jokes (once I explain them to her; God, please never let her be as jaded and cynical as I am). Future both looks and feels good; sometimes I have to pinch myself.

Will it last? I'm old enough to know (and accept) that nothing lasts forever: bad, good, indifferent, whatever. I mean Dang! Lou Reed just died! But I plan on letting it last as long as my karma will allow. In the meantime, my mind is open to new possibilities and experiences, and so are my eyes and ears.

[rotorbreeze]

Perhaps many of us have tired of joylessness. Waking up next to someone who is embittered, hostile, joyless, sluggish, heavy hearted, and difficult. Does any of this register? I tried and tried and could not find a light hearted woman in all of North America. I am sure they exist, but I could not find one, especially one who was ok with me wearing the pants. Of course if you are comfortable with emasculation, than American or Europe are perfect for you. Does not work for me. I love being with a woman who embraces her own femininity, and is not scared to death of it. Being with most western women is a bit like being with a man. If I wanted someone who was more masculine than myself, that is what I would seek out, but that is not what gets me going. I am not speaking of a submissive woman. The woman I am with is powerful, strong willed, has the heart of a tiger, and is super smart. But she loves to be a woman. Most western woman do not even know what it is like to be a real woman.

Yes very true...the nature of man is to first eat...once fed he wants to enjoy life...seem you have been busy hunting and gathering..good on you...you live...the question : I have posted above you..a short read. I too admit you share the same elements of life support system...where the NA women and suppose the Euro women have not respect for themselves...if they do they will realize respect to first see..YOU as a reflection of themselves...a simple smile back home will scare them off...their minds filled with the posions of the media...and culture taught in school and parents at early age...FEAR..oh my God FEAR...the only way to control the masses... FEAR... and to this day it causes stress and emotional problems into the homstatstic health.

Well with that said..I leave you in peace and peace be with you always...

Ron

[Jackson86]

I think thai women are more feminine and willing to marry for love when compared to women of my own country who are mostly materialistic. In addition, I also like thai culture. Currently learning thai language bit by bit. Not easy but at least I try.

[rotorbreeze]

..... that in fact the modern day Thai women are not much different from their Western counterparts, have similar outlooks and ambitions.

I never met an English university student in the UK that would have sex with an old guy, two or three times her age, for a tenner.

They would do it for a 100 though...

Oh why is it a monitarty issue...it is how a male presents himself...I am in my 60's and find it easy to talk to women 40 years young....the reason...I have lived a life that reflects the experience of how old do you want to be?...being physical fit and looking after body.... once you present yourslef as complete not need for sex in your eyes..a sob story about lost girlfriend whom dumped ya...for younger man...well ya know the story right...ya get more pussy when ya least want it..trust me..

[FiftyTwo]

Pretty funny. So do I like a challenge.

I'm noo in Thailand, from the good ol' USA, and recently married a Thai woman much younger than myself. Why? Well, lots of reasons, but mainly because I love her and she loves me.

I know, I know; I'm getting conned, right? Maybe, maybe not. She has a degree, is financially stable, healthy and optimistic, and, like me, doesn't drink. What's more, she has a great sense of humor, meaning she laughs at most of my jokes (once I explain them to her; God, please never let her be as jaded and cynical as I am). Future both looks and feels good; sometimes I have to pinch myself.

Will it last? I'm old enough to know (and accept) that nothing lasts forever: bad, good, indifferent, whatever. I mean Dang! Lou Reed just died! But I plan on letting it last as long as my karma will allow. In the meantime, my mind is open to new possibilities and experiences, and so are my eyes and ears.

You love her, fair enough, but you can't assume she loves you.

She is much younger, educated, financially stable, healthy, great sense of humour ......... But stop a moment, what do you have?

Most married Thai ladies don't drink, ever, it's a cultural thing.

Enjoy today, forget about the future.

Edited November 10, 2013 by FiftyTwo

[cbluck58]

Same old , same old........Not worth entering into.

[brewsterbudgen]

I never met an English university student in the UK that would have sex with an old guy, two or three times her age, for a tenner.

I think you'd be surprised at how many uni students do exactly that back home. Look on craigslist, it's there. The only difference is the price.

Re-post:

http://investigatest....wordpress.com/

[impulse]

..... that in fact the modern day Thai women are not much different from their Western counterparts, have similar outlooks and ambitions.

I never met an English university student in the UK that would have sex with an old guy, two or three times her age, for a tenner.

And I've never met an English or American girl that would work 12 hours in a factory for 300 baht, either.

But I have met lots of young women all over that would gladly do an old and ugly guy for 1-1/2 days' local wages.

Edited November 10, 2013 by impulse

[dotpoom]

Myself and the Thai Mrs. laugh together most of the day...that to me is the perfect relationship.....(for myself more important than anything because most other things have to be fairly good to be able to laugh with someone) but it took some time to get to this point. She eventually got to understand and TRUST ME, I was never a butterfly, so it hadn't occurred to me that she was not letting herself trust me when we first started going together, .....based on her observations of foreign men around Pattaya. When I got to understand that it wasn't only about me trusting her,..... but also about her learning if she could trust me....that's when things improved.

[FiftyTwo]

Myself and the Thai Mrs. laugh together most of the day...that to me is the perfect relationship.....(for myself more important than anything because most other things have to be fairly good to be able to laugh with someone) but it took some time to get to this point. She eventually got to understand and TRUST ME, I was never a butterfly, so it hadn't occurred to me that she was not letting herself trust me when we first started going together, .....based on her observations of foreign men around Pattaya. When I got to understand that it wasn't only about me trusting her,..... but also about her learning if she could trust me....that's when things improved.

Butterfly = bar talk = you hang out with hookers.

Here's hoping you didn't learn the word from someone close.

Edited November 10, 2013 by FiftyTwo

[nycjoe]

there is something to be said about not speaking english. if i tried to get a word in edgewise from my american wife she would out shout me. if i left a cup on the table she was like genghis khan. never cooked always wanted to eat out.

my thai gf takes really good care of me. i give her money for her and her two kids. i am happier than i have ever been. wants a cookbook in thai for western food. massages me keeps the house. i am king rather than slave.

[RikDao]

Pretty funny. So do I like a challenge.

I'm noo in Thailand, from the good ol' USA, and recently married a Thai woman much younger than myself. Why? Well, lots of reasons, but mainly because I love her and she loves me.

I know, I know; I'm getting conned, right? Maybe, maybe not. She has a degree, is financially stable, healthy and optimistic, and, like me, doesn't drink. What's more, she has a great sense of humor, meaning she laughs at most of my jokes (once I explain them to her; God, please never let her be as jaded and cynical as I am). Future both looks and feels good; sometimes I have to pinch myself.

Will it last? I'm old enough to know (and accept) that nothing lasts forever: bad, good, indifferent, whatever. I mean Dang! Lou Reed just died! But I plan on letting it last as long as my karma will allow. In the meantime, my mind is open to new possibilities and experiences, and so are my eyes and ears.

You love her, fair enough, but you can't assume she loves you.

She is much younger, educated, financially stable, healthy, great sense of humour ......... But stop a moment, what do you have?

Most married Thai ladies don't drink, ever, it's a cultural thing.

Enjoy today, forget about the future.

[Ulic]

Why go to the trouble of getting married to ANY women....Divorce rates in America are 4.95 per 1000 and in Thailand its .58 per 1000 (http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/peo_div_rat-people-divorce-rate )

You do the math!

I don't understand this number. I always thought the divorce rate in the US was 50%. What is 4.95 per 1000. Is that per day, month, year?

Looked at the link, still could not understand. On the site was a statistic on divorce rate per 100 marriages. 59.8 for Belgium, Mexico 7.4.

USA not listed. I would think Philippines/ Vatican City is the lowest as there is no divorce just annulment and it takes many years.

[CharlieH]

If two people find each other by whatever means, irrespective of initial motivations, they love and care for each other, they are happy, who gives a flying <deleted> as to their age or nationality. They are happy, its their choice and no one has the right to ridicule, judge, or analyse it.

They are in that relationship because thats what they chose, thats what makes them happy, and thats hard enough to find these days. If you have it, enjoy it and dont give a secind thought to what "others" think.

[bangkokstick]

We date who makes us feel horny, we are victims <3