Moving back to the UK with a Thai wife

[MonkeyLoo]

She will experience some racism for sure.

Try to put yourself in her position and think what you would need in her circumstances. You can get most things in UK to make her feel at home you just need to find the sources. When I took my Thai girl to the UK she was much happier when she could get her favourite foods and had made some Thai friends.

If you have to keep her hidden away and controlled then that should tell you something.

[sanook2me]

We,re in the Uk this is my wifes 3rd year.

Heaters, electric blankets and Thai food from supermarkets is the key...

A job part or full time..

Driving for freedom..

Thai friends are easy too meet, just send her to the local college for English classes and there will be other Thais...all in a similar position of time in the UK and other experiences.

Out of the group of Thai friends my wife has got there are drinkers/smokers/gamblers but they are all okay...just like my friends and associates...nothing different..

You choose who you want to make close friends and this will be true of your wife too...

IMHO..

Bring her over she will enjoy it and so will you as its a great journey being the English tour guide....

[chiang mai]

they both claim that the UK is the most bigoted and racist country they could imagine and are now far happier living back in Thailand.

NONSENSE, thailand is more racist

You have to be a foriegner in a country to see the racist aspect which is probably why you think Thailand is more so. From experience of having toured the UK on holiday a couple of times with my wife, I can easily agree with what my friends told me in this respect, it's for that reason mainly that we decided not to execute the Settlement Visa we obtained for my wife a few years ago.

[sms747]

!

How many Farang's could exist here in Thailand, not being allowed to interact with other Farang's (very few) yet that is the advise they give you.

I have been here 7 years and do not interact with falangs, none around here and the ones I do see just look miserable, drunk or just plain odd. The warnings about other Thai wifes in the UK are true, the majority of whom are ex prostitutes, even if the pretend they were not. I once went to a meeting in the UK in Derbyshire of members from a well known Internet site, all the wifes were talking about was how much they were getting or how dumb their husbands were, how much gold they had etc etc. Isan scum mostly who are an undoubted bad influence on each other.

The main problems are the obvious ones, climate availability of thai food, communication back home and entertainment The internet has largely solved the last 2, get skype and thai TV going is a big help.

[chonabot]

they both claim that the UK is the most bigoted and racist country they could imagine and are now far happier living back in Thailand.

NONSENSE, thailand is more racist

You have to be a foriegner in a country to see the racist aspect which is probably why you think Thailand is more so. From experience of having toured the UK on holiday a couple of times with my wife, I can easily agree with what my friends told me in this respect, it's for that reason mainly that we decided not to execute the Settlement Visa we obtained for my wife a few years ago.

I'm not so sure but at least a Thai spouse can own her own house and become a UK citizen without any major issues.

Plus if she encounters any form of racism in the UK, the police will arrest the person who made the comments.

I know this because it has happened to my wife about 6 years ago.

If you encounter racism in Thailand and went to the police, what do you think they would/could do?

My son (half Thai half Caucasian) attended school in both Thailand and UK.

He encountered racism in both places.

In the UK he was called a paki (I know...lol) and complained to the head teacher.

The kid was warned, but he continued and was removed from the school and the police visited his parents to explain the whole thing.

They had to move because it was the only school in the area,

In Thailand he was called bok see dar, falang suber, and many more names by one nasty little kid.

I taught at the same school and we spoke to the director who just smiled and said 'But your son is a foreigner and that is what he should expect'

In your opinion, which place is more racist and which place is dealing with this issue correctly?

This is based on living in both places, not a few holidays

Since we've moved back to Scotland, my son has not been called any racist names, in and out of school.

Edited November 14, 2013 by chonabot

[chiang mai]

Let's not confuse legislation with the attitude of the population. Just because it's not legal to be racist in the UK and there are lots of laws to support that, plus, there is an active police presence to deter such things, doesn't mean that what is wanted is what exists. It doesn't surprise me that your son has an easier existence in Scotland in this respect, there's no doubt that the first person to utter any racist words towards your son would be prosecuted and everyone understands that - occaisionally the odd mad drunk on a bus or the tube gets filmed ranting about the immigration problem and this gets broadcast on youtube, it's a rarity and out of character for most native Brits but it is a sign, I think, of how thin that veneer of tolerance really is - did anyone mention EDL!

I think that Thailand and it's population as a whole is much more tolerant of foriegners, the fact that Immigration gives us the run around is really not about racism so much as it is about confusion on their part and, dare I say, a lack of sophistication in these matters - I think that anyone who suggests that Thailand is racist towards farangs hasn't really thought about it and is mostly using the same much abused words that others use.

For my part I live my daily weekly life pretty much on par with the standing of the local population hence I don't see racism here. I see lots of silly things, some malfunctioning beurocracy, fear caused by poor education in English language, a goodly smattering of incompetence and many layers of corruption, but racisim, nah, sorry, it's just not there.

[HardenedSoul]

Let's not confuse legislation with the attitude of the population. Just because it's not legal to be racist in the UK and there are lots of laws to support that, plus, there is an active police presence to deter such things, doesn't mean that what is wanted is what exists. It doesn't surprise me that your son has an easier existence in Scotland in this respect, there's no doubt that the first person to utter any racist words towards your son would be prosecuted and everyone understands that - occaisionally the odd mad drunk on a bus or the tube gets filmed ranting about the immigration problem and this gets broadcast on youtube, it's a rarity and out of character for most native Brits but it is a sign, I think, of how thin that veneer of tolerance really is - did anyone mention EDL!

I think that Thailand and it's population as a whole is much more tolerant of foriegners, the fact that Immigration gives us the run around is really not about racism so much as it is about confusion on their part and, dare I say, a lack of sophistication in these matters - I think that anyone who suggests that Thailand is racist towards farangs hasn't really thought about it and is mostly using the same much abused words that others use.

For my part I live my daily weekly life pretty much on par with the standing of the local population hence I don't see racism here. I see lots of silly things, some malfunctioning beurocracy, fear caused by poor education in English language, a goodly smattering of incompetence and many layers of corruption, but racisim, nah, sorry, it's just not there.

They're more tolerant of foreigners because we're not competing with them for jobs, services or welfare. Change that and see the sparks fly.

Nevertheless, as a member of a minority group both here and at home in Britain, I have to say that I've yet to experience anything approaching the racism I faced in England growing up.

[jackinbkk]

Let's not confuse legislation with the attitude of the population. Just because it's not legal to be racist in the UK and there are lots of laws to support that, plus, there is an active police presence to deter such things, doesn't mean that what is wanted is what exists. It doesn't surprise me that your son has an easier existence in Scotland in this respect, there's no doubt that the first person to utter any racist words towards your son would be prosecuted and everyone understands that - occaisionally the odd mad drunk on a bus or the tube gets filmed ranting about the immigration problem and this gets broadcast on youtube, it's a rarity and out of character for most native Brits but it is a sign, I think, of how thin that veneer of tolerance really is - did anyone mention EDL!

I think that Thailand and it's population as a whole is much more tolerant of foriegners, the fact that Immigration gives us the run around is really not about racism so much as it is about confusion on their part and, dare I say, a lack of sophistication in these matters - I think that anyone who suggests that Thailand is racist towards farangs hasn't really thought about it and is mostly using the same much abused words that others use.

For my part I live my daily weekly life pretty much on par with the standing of the local population hence I don't see racism here. I see lots of silly things, some malfunctioning beurocracy, fear caused by poor education in English language, a goodly smattering of incompetence and many layers of corruption, but racisim, nah, sorry, it's just not there.

They're more tolerant of foreigners because we're not competing with them for jobs, services or welfare. Change that and see the sparks fly.

Nevertheless, as a member of a minority group both here and at home in Britain, I have to say that I've yet to experience anything approaching the racism I faced in England growing up.

I'd say there is racism but that it goes unsaid like in most places. I think it's human nature to have a preference for your own kind. Maybe not a hatred for other races but less like.

I've walked through the more rural parts of Thailand and had abuse shouted at me by the drunks. That's when the inhibition is down.

It's a very good point that foreigners in Thailand are very much kept out of the system. Protected jobs, no welfare. That would make a huge difference to the behavior towards foreigners.

[chiang mai]

Let's not confuse legislation with the attitude of the population. Just because it's not legal to be racist in the UK and there are lots of laws to support that, plus, there is an active police presence to deter such things, doesn't mean that what is wanted is what exists. It doesn't surprise me that your son has an easier existence in Scotland in this respect, there's no doubt that the first person to utter any racist words towards your son would be prosecuted and everyone understands that - occaisionally the odd mad drunk on a bus or the tube gets filmed ranting about the immigration problem and this gets broadcast on youtube, it's a rarity and out of character for most native Brits but it is a sign, I think, of how thin that veneer of tolerance really is - did anyone mention EDL!

I think that Thailand and it's population as a whole is much more tolerant of foriegners, the fact that Immigration gives us the run around is really not about racism so much as it is about confusion on their part and, dare I say, a lack of sophistication in these matters - I think that anyone who suggests that Thailand is racist towards farangs hasn't really thought about it and is mostly using the same much abused words that others use.

For my part I live my daily weekly life pretty much on par with the standing of the local population hence I don't see racism here. I see lots of silly things, some malfunctioning beurocracy, fear caused by poor education in English language, a goodly smattering of incompetence and many layers of corruption, but racisim, nah, sorry, it's just not there.

They're more tolerant of foreigners because we're not competing with them for jobs, services or welfare. Change that and see the sparks fly.

Nevertheless, as a member of a minority group both here and at home in Britain, I have to say that I've yet to experience anything approaching the racism I faced in England growing up.

As indeed am I.

[HardenedSoul]

They're more tolerant of foreigners because we're not competing with them for jobs, services or welfare. Change that and see the sparks fly.

Nevertheless, as a member of a minority group both here and at home in Britain, I have to say that I've yet to experience anything approaching the racism I faced in England growing up.

As indeed am I.

How so?

[chiang mai]

They're more tolerant of foreigners because we're not competing with them for jobs, services or welfare. Change that and see the sparks fly.

Nevertheless, as a member of a minority group both here and at home in Britain, I have to say that I've yet to experience anything approaching the racism I faced in England growing up.

As indeed am I.

How so?

I was born in Yorkshire.

[Midfield General]

My wife was not from Issan but she was a bar girl who i met in Pattaya. She was an angel when i first met her and really was ''the one who was different''. After living with her for two years in Thailand we decided to move back to the UK. Things were ok at first the only draw back being the stares and smirks in the local supermarket and the piss taking from my mattes about my ''Thai Bride'' but i expected all that and accepted it. There is only 7 years between us but a massive height difference. I'm 6 ft 1 and she is 5ft

This is when the transformation took place. This lovely gentle women became a monster. I got her a job in a local Thai Restaurant so she could meet Thai people in our city. Unfortunately the crowd she got in with were all gambling maniacs regularly blowing all their wages in the local casinos and bookmakers. Her new workmates were also all ex bar girls. She was borrowing money fro loan sharks behind my back and vanishing for a couple of days at a time and going berserk if i questioned her.

Eventually i found out she was cheating on me with some married local creep she had met in a pub . To make matters worse she had fallen pregnant to him and had an abortion. I found this out at a later date.

Before i found out about her affair she had pursued me to invest a lot of money into buying a restaurant which went bust costing me thousands of pounds.

She was a pathological liar who was prone to bouts of violence regularly smashing up my house.

The only blessing in disguise is that we had no kids of our own.

I am now happily divorced with a lot less money than before but at least now i have peace of mind.

Good luck

[Briandajew]

First time my Mrs came over to Scotland she hated it almost starved to death so she claimed and only stayed about 1 week then it was back to Thailand but after a few visits of a few months at a time now she is quite contented she knows the location of the nearest Thai shop and Can get her papaya fresh every Thursday her driving in the UK is also a good bonus and we now stay 6months in UK and 6 in Thailand so it suits both of us just fine and also now with the cheap rate phone calls under 1p per minute to phone Thailand mobile she spends Hrs on the phone to her mother and her friends and she is all excited at the moment about going to UK for Christmas with my family, she also loves the snow, but not driving if it is to icy or snow is deeper than 2 foot. My wife prefers to be with my family or her own Scottish friends and neighbours rather than any Thai friends in Scotland

I hope it all works out well for you on your return.

Indeed! It is surprising how well they can adapt - Especially to the weather (I guess the same way we adapt to the heat here!)

My wife initially moved from Thailand out to Shanghai in the winter and it was miserably cold - even for me (A Northern Brit) - by the time the summer came she was gagging for air con when the temperatures hit mid 40's with horrible humidity - after that we used to take my work holidays at some rather strange times of the year and some strange places - Beijing and Harbin in mid winter!!! My wife had never seen snow - Harbin allowed her to experience 3 feet of powdery snow, have her hair, nose and lips freeze over with ice - she loved it - 3 pairs of trousers, three jumpers and two coats....it was an experience - also the Great Wall at Badaling in January is pretty harsh...but she adapts!

Christmas in Sanya....a bit more pleasant, just give them a bit of time to relax, try and make sure they are able to eat something they like and after a while they will be fine! (The worst thing is when they cannot get rice or similar staples - and when they get the innevitable "Cold / Flu" ...that nearly killed my wife! (Stuck in the Holiday Inn in Pudong for two weeks in bed with an overcoat shoes and a wooly hat!

But if they can get through that they will be all the better for it!

Good luck, I wish you all the best.

[cookie1003]

Some interesting replies, thank you all. Definitely a good strategy to move there in early summer and break her in gently, so to speak!

Not too worried about the gambling or big face making as she's never really shown any inclination to that here and has had plenty of "opportunity" to with other farang wives we've met. Never say never, but that's a chance I'll have to take.

Seems completely impractical to control her friends, though equally impractical to mute my opinions on them. She's so far been a pretty good judge of character but let's see,

I'll have to give keeping in touch some more thought - her parents don't have a land line or a computer and I can't imagine them learning to use one very quickly or easily. Calling their mobiles will get expensive.

The where to live question is still a bit in the air - we moved around a lot when I was a kid so no real "home" though the biggest concentration would be north/north east England so it will be that area. We're both ban norkish so not keen to live in a big city, but I can definitely see the advantages of being close to public transport, other Thais and an Asian supermarket.

Thanks again for the replies and advice, and keep it coming.

my wifes family dont have a computer or landline either, but my wife has skype & SHE pays less than £10 a month for unlimited worldwide calls inc video , which includes calling their mobile numbers & occasionally they pop down to the local town's internet cafe & chat to them on video skype with my now daughter showing them all round our house from my wifes mobile.

Edited November 14, 2013 by cookie1003

[metisdead]

Posts containing overly derogatory generalizations and replies have been removed as well as posts using inappropriate language. Other off topic nonsense posts have been removed as well.

[menorah]

Lots of truly fascinating reading here. My wife is from Mongolia and not Thailand so some of the issues will be different, but we're still very happily together in the UK after 18 years.

We had a lot of problems initially with Entry Clearance Officers at Heathrow, but long-story-short ended up taking them to court and winning! My wife spoke very little English when she first came here but spent 3 months at college in Cheltenham studying. I was working in Slough at the time so had a 100 mile commute each way meaning we were apart for long days. Fortunately she became good friends with the other students. My number one recommendation would be to get your Thai wife into an English language school ASAP here in the UK where she can mix with many people of different cultures who are equally struggling with their new environments.

After her college course we moved to Maidenhead so that my journey to work was much shorter and I was able to be with her for lunch most days. For about her first year in the UK she struggled to settle, her main problem being that she missed her family who, like the Thais, are very close. Even now this is still a bit of a problem for her but Skype and yearly holidays back to Mongolia do help.

Unfortunately we're unable to have children (my ex's insistence that I had the snip after 2 kids!) so there's not that great integrator into the community for us. But since moving to the UK my wife has become a very successful hairstylist and now has her own business which has proved to be a fantastic way to meet lots of locals (http://www.tuya.co.uk). She had little in the way of academic qualifications when she came to the UK but proved that lots of hard work and dedication can overcome pretty much anything.

A good English friend of ours married a Thai girl (in Windsor and BKK) over ten years ago. They've moved around quite a bit because of his work, firstly a few years in the South of France, followed by a spell in Saudi Arabia. They're currently living back in BKK because he's having to spend most of his time travelling the world so his wife and 9-year old daughter can be with the Thai family instead of alone somewhere else. She's said she'd happily live in the UK if necessary, not having any problems with the food or weather.

As so many others have said here though, you're the only one who can even guess how much your wife would be able to settle in the UK. Heed all the advice here, discuss it all with your wife, try to determine her honest opinion, get your daughter involved, then make a JOINT decision and stick with it. In life we tend to regret the things we didn't do more than the things we did. Good luck.

It's good to hear a positive story for a change. Success or failure isn't dependent upon fate but rather the individuals concerned.

New environment and culture is an open opportunity to try something new, to be bold and to act upon dreams. There's no point crossing the planet to continue life exactly as you did back home, so take every chance.

I looked up your wife's website and it portrays a very professional establishment and positive work ethic. Your wife looks great and provides a fitting example of the style and glamour her customers aspire to.

No doubt she's had financial and emotional support from you to establish her venture and make it a success, which can only strengthen the relationship.

My own story turned out far different but I try to focus on the good part of the experience rather than continually lament the failings.

I wasn't deterred by the failure and have since gone on to establish a relatively secure lifestyle, here in Thailand, with a new partner who is also an 'old' friend.

Crossing cultures is always subject to many hurdles but, to quote Robbie Burns; "if at first you don't succeed, try, try & try again".

[Midfield General]

Bringing my Thai wife back to the UK ended my marriage and nearly put me in an early grave but i do know a few success stories. One of my friends is very happily married to an ex bar girl with two beautiful kids. Its not all bad.

Gambling is a massive problem for Thais in the UK. Keep her away from the casinos and bookmakers and half the battle is won. Also make sure the crowd she becomes friends with are not hardcore gamblers as they tend to follow each other like sheep.

[menorah]

Appreciate the sentiment/warning. I guess that applies to most marriages in some way. Not too concerned at this stage as I have never seen my wife being anything other than a very genuine, honest and decent person.

Nobody ever sees their wife in any other light, until the divorce papers are served.

(you forgot loving, loyal and faithful from your list)

Genuine might easily be used as an umbrella heading with the sub-sets of loving, loyal and faithful, which therefore need not be written in.

It's easy to be cynical where Thai Farang relationships are concerned but why not 'cut some slack'.

[menorah]

Both of them tried their best to keep their wives away from the small group of Thais in the town, but to no avail.

You can't restrict their movements unless you aim to chain her to the sink or bedroom.

Plenty of villages and hamlets 50Km from the nearest town.

No other Thais, no other foreigners.

Choose where you live wisely.

Reading your misery-soaked posts on pretty much any subject leads me to believe that whatever you lost financially pales into insignificance against the morose, cynical attitude you bring to any discussion on relationships.

Compared to your lonely posts you mean.

I consider my attitude towards sexual relationships as practical rather than cynical.

Better than your being too scared to have any relationship at all, apart from the occasional ride on the local bike.

It sounds like the two of you should agree to disagree.

Although, in my personal opinion, I consider vetting a partner's friends or acquaintances as bordering on unhealthy or a sign of jealousy. As a 19 year old I was jealous and recognised the corrosive effect jealousy has on any relationship.

I made a conscious decision to overcome jealousy there and then and have been successful to that end for the last 37 years.

Jealousy may not be a problem but if it is tackle that before anything else.

Edited November 14, 2013 by menorah

[HardenedSoul]

Bringing my Thai wife back to the UK ended my marriage and nearly put me in an early grave but i do know a few success stories. One of my friends is very happily married to an ex bar girl with two beautiful kids. Its not all bad.

Gambling is a massive problem for Thais in the UK. Keep her away from the casinos and bookmakers and half the battle is won. Also make sure the crowd she becomes friends with are not hardcore gamblers as they tend to follow each other like sheep.

Wasn't there any advice like that doing the rounds before you decided to marry a bar girl?

What made you think yours was different?

I'm not taking the piss; these are genuine questions.

[Jimi007]

As usual this kind of topic brings out all the generalizations about Farang/Thai relationships from TV posters. After living in Thailand for the better part of 8 years, my fiancee of four and a half years and I moved to my house in Santa Cruz California two months ago. She says she likes it here. It's a multi racial very accepting community and we've never heard or seen any inappropriate comments or actions, unlike Thailand. As she and I say; there are good and bad people from every country. She and her family are very opposed to gambling as am I, so we don't have that problem to contend with either. Food isn't a problem either. There are plenty of fresh fish and Asian markets around, especially near where I work. But of course someone will say this is off topic as we didn't move to the UK, thankfully… But neither one of us are enjoying the fog much today! Good luck to the OP, at least he is thinking of a better life and education for his family.

[Midfield General]

Bringing my Thai wife back to the UK ended my marriage and nearly put me in an early grave but i do know a few success stories. One of my friends is very happily married to an ex bar girl with two beautiful kids. Its not all bad.

Gambling is a massive problem for Thais in the UK. Keep her away from the casinos and bookmakers and half the battle is won. Also make sure the crowd she becomes friends with are not hardcore gamblers as they tend to follow each other like sheep.

Wasn't there any advice like that doing the rounds before you decided to marry a bar girl?

What made you think yours was different?

I'm not taking the piss; these are genuine questions.

I lived in Pattaya from 1992 until 1999 and then again from 2002 until 2008. During these periods i had countless Thai girlfriends bar girls and non bar girls. I thought i was an expert on all things Thai especially the women. I used to laugh at fools who had been ripped off. When i met my wife i genuinely felt she was different. The things she said, the way she acted, the fact she was in her thirties and just average looking as opposed to the young dolly birds and party girls i usually ended up with. Strangely she was always very critical of Thai women who ripped of farangs. I thought i couldn't possibly be wrong as i knew everything there was to know. What a joke that turned out to be. Believe me i thought i was invincible and i soon found i the hard way i was anything but.

[Munger]

My wife was not from Issan but she was a bar girl who i met in Pattaya. She was an angel when i first met her and really was ''the one who was different''. After living with her for two years in Thailand we decided to move back to the UK. Things were ok at first the only draw back being the stares and smirks in the local supermarket and the piss taking from my mattes about my ''Thai Bride'' but i expected all that and accepted it. There is only 7 years between us but a massive height difference. I'm 6 ft 1 and she is 5ft

This is when the transformation took place. This lovely gentle women became a monster. I got her a job in a local Thai Restaurant so she could meet Thai people in our city. Unfortunately the crowd she got in with were all gambling maniacs regularly blowing all their wages in the local casinos and bookmakers. Her new workmates were also all ex bar girls. She was borrowing money fro loan sharks behind my back and vanishing for a couple of days at a time and going berserk if i questioned her.

Eventually i found out she was cheating on me with some married local creep she had met in a pub . To make matters worse she had fallen pregnant to him and had an abortion. I found this out at a later date.

Before i found out about her affair she had pursued me to invest a lot of money into buying a restaurant which went bust costing me thousands of pounds.

She was a pathological liar who was prone to bouts of violence regularly smashing up my house.

The only blessing in disguise is that we had no kids of our own.

I am now happily divorced with a lot less money than before but at least now i have peace of mind.

Good luck

So she was "VANISHING" for a couple of days at a time, but you then invested "a lot of money" in a violent liar, who regularly smashed up your house. <deleted> was you thinking about ?

[beautifulthailand99]

Spot on Beetlejuice, Having run two UK Thai restaurants back in the 90s, I employed quite a few Thai women married to Brits, the biggest problems I saw was when the girls got together in groups after work, any new girls who seemed to be happily married where often told that they could do better, and some were soon joining the other girls after work at the local casinos, Some of the more gambling addicted girls were even selling themselves for extra gambling money.

one older girl I employed was addicted to the slots and while her husband was working off shore she managed to gamble away £35000 of their savings, he divorced her, of all the couples I remember, none are still together, that include me and my wife.

Lots of wise words here - she will also become 'exotic' once she sets foot in the UK and be the object of a lot of interested 'male gaze' - particuarly in areas outside of the big cities. Most women are very sociable creatures and Thai women particuarly so - if her English is not very good she will find it isloating without close Thai friends or family in the area. Good luck whatever route you choose.

[beautifulthailand99]

Most thai women that settle in the uk realise that life is far better for them and don't want to return.

good luck

Spot on snowyy73 - exactly my wife's sentiments.

[transam]

Most thai women that settle in the uk realise that life is far better for them and don't want to return.

good luck

Spot on snowyy73 - exactly my wife's sentiments.

Perhaps this is true but many guys do not know what might be going on in the background regardless of what sweet stuff they are being told.

[rgs2001uk]

My wife was not from Issan but she was a bar girl who i met in Pattaya. She was an angel when i first met her and really was ''the one who was different''. After living with her for two years in Thailand we decided to move back to the UK. Things were ok at first the only draw back being the stares and smirks in the local supermarket and the piss taking from my mattes about my ''Thai Bride'' but i expected all that and accepted it. There is only 7 years between us but a massive height difference. I'm 6 ft 1 and she is 5ft

This is when the transformation took place. This lovely gentle women became a monster. I got her a job in a local Thai Restaurant so she could meet Thai people in our city. Unfortunately the crowd she got in with were all gambling maniacs regularly blowing all their wages in the local casinos and bookmakers. Her new workmates were also all ex bar girls. She was borrowing money fro loan sharks behind my back and vanishing for a couple of days at a time and going berserk if i questioned her.

Eventually i found out she was cheating on me with some married local creep she had met in a pub . To make matters worse she had fallen pregnant to him and had an abortion. I found this out at a later date.

Before i found out about her affair she had pursued me to invest a lot of money into buying a restaurant which went bust costing me thousands of pounds.

She was a pathological liar who was prone to bouts of violence regularly smashing up my house.

The only blessing in disguise is that we had no kids of our own.

I am now happily divorced with a lot less money than before but at least now i have peace of mind.

Good luck

So she was "VANISHING" for a couple of days at a time, but you then invested "a lot of money" in a violent liar, who regularly smashed up your house. <deleted> was you thinking about ?

Beleive me or believe me not, makes no difference to me.

Unless you have been there and witnessed first hand wha MG is talking about, you dont have a clue, I can empathise with everything he says, been there and witnessed it.

Some of these girls are as cunning as shit house rats.

[beautifulthailand99]

She will experience some racism for sure.

Try to put yourself in her position and think what you would need in her circumstances. You can get most things in UK to make her feel at home you just need to find the sources. When I took my Thai girl to the UK she was much happier when she could get her favourite foods and had made some Thai friends.

If you have to keep her hidden away and controlled then that should tell you something.

The racism will probably more be the unspoken assumption in the eyes of many that she was a bar girl /prostitute or a mail order bride.

[FiftyTwo]

Sad story there LMM, but I have hopes that not all Thai ladies would behave the same way.

I'm happy living in Thailand with my wife, but would like to think I could take her back to the UK.

[howerde]

Most thai women that settle in the uk realise that life is far better for them and don't want to return.

good luck

Spot on snowyy73 - exactly my wife's sentiments.

Perhaps this is true but many guys do not know what might be going on in the background regardless of what sweet stuff they are being told.

Sorry finger and brain trouble, Sadly Transam is correct most blokes do not have a clue as to the real state of their marriage, they believe what their wives tell them. not saying anything against posters here,

Edited November 15, 2013 by howerde