Opinion and advice please on somewhat difficult "relationship" with Thai

[lemoncake]

I may possibly regret posting thus, but hopefully will get some usefull advice .

I have a business and 1 staff who has been loyal and great for over a year.

I always rewarded her with higher salary, gifts, bonuses and many lee ways.

In return as I said, she always helped out whenever asked, and did more than asked.

Not too long ago, I had to return home due to death in the family.

I have a few animals(very many few:)) and was really in a tough situation, as I really had to go.

She agreed to stay in my house and look after the animals as well.

To make it easier for her, I also gave her son job to help her , paying him a salary about 20% more than he was getting doing hard labor .

All seemed good, I was away for 2.5 months.

When I returned, I found my house to be a total mess.

Putting aside total filth- everywhere, everything was moved and touched.

Toilet door broken, as in actual door broken, bedroom door broken, toilet itself broken, shower broken, DVD broken, fans broken,dvd's all over the floor, many things missing such phone charger etc.

8 boxes of special toothpaste gone, shower gels gone, shampoos , deodorants,razors.

I had some new shorts, few pairs , sealed. One pair hanging outside(worn)

Car travelled around 2000 km, bike used as a dump for rubbish( I think) another bike broken and on and on.

From what I learned the entire family stayed now and then.

Now that I am back, her son for some reason has not moved out nor is even considering to go, because apearantly he is scared if ghosts in the house where he lives.

I have raised all the issues with her and naturally she is denying everything.

So my dilemma is what to do? I am very pissed off and tired of finding more and more broken things and things missing.

I do not want to loose her as a staff, but also can not just let it go, as damages are growing by the day, I would easily estimate about 20 000 baht already and counting.

More irritating is the fact that the entire house was rearranged and I can not find many things nor does she know where it all went or was moved.

Son is still here and I am pretty much sleeping in the boxes as my bed linen is missing or all used up- dirty.

So......... What do I do? How to speak with her? What to say?

I realize I can put it down to experience, but .........

Anyhow, thoughts and advice or personal experience much appreciated

[lemoncake]

Please forgive spelling mistakes, have to use iPad as house modem and computer also broken

[AYJAYDEE]

I would suggest a spine transplant

[ukrules]

She agreed to stay in my house and look after the animals as well.

You're back now - tell her to move out. Her son is no concern of yours. He can work as a labourer and get his own place again.

[lemoncake]

I would suggest a spine transplant

Not sure if you ever worked with Thai, but I can assure if I grow a spine and let her have it , she will be gone faster than the speed of light. And the problem us, I do not want to loose her as a staff

[lemoncake]

She agreed to stay in my house and look after the animals as well.

You're back now - tell her to move out. Her son is no concern of yours. He can work as a labourer and get his own place again.

She was out on the day I came back, the little rat is not.

I also know it was the little rat who used up all the toothpaste , shower gels, razors, etc.

I am also sure it was him who broke the DVD , and took the cloths

[AYJAYDEE]

I would suggest a spine transplant

Not sure if you ever worked with Thai, but I can assure if I grow a spine and let her have it , she will be gone faster than the speed of light. And the problem us, I do not want to loose her as a staff

she'll be gone? I should hope so!!

[lemoncake]

I would suggest a spine transplant

Not sure if you ever worked with Thai, but I can assure if I grow a spine and let her have it , she will be gone faster than the speed of light. And the problem us, I do not want to loose her as a staff

she'll be gone? I should hope so!!

You are confusing personal relationship with a business one, thanks fir your input anyway

[AYJAYDEE]

I would suggest a spine transplant

Not sure if you ever worked with Thai, but I can assure if I grow a spine and let her have it , she will be gone faster than the speed of light. And the problem us, I do not want to loose her as a staff

she'll be gone? I should hope so!!

You are confusing personal relationship with a business one, thanks fir your input anyway

no i'm not. but i refuse to have any kind of relationship with someone who has no respect for me or mine.

[ukrules]

She agreed to stay in my house and look after the animals as well.

You're back now - tell her to move out. Her son is no concern of yours. He can work as a labourer and get his own place again.

She was out on the day I came back, the little rat is not.

I also know it was the little rat who used up all the toothpaste , shower gels, razors, etc.

I am also sure it was him who broke the DVD , and took the cloths

Just throw him out and change the locks. I was under the impression they were both still there.

Consider yourself lucky the damage is only 20,000 Baht, a negligible amount in the long term.

Edited November 16, 2013 by ukrules

[lemoncake]

no i'm not. but i refuse to have any kind of relationship with someone who has no respect for me or mine.

I see your point, just can not afford to loose her as a staff- that is my biggest problem.

I also think she she is not aware of the damages " the family" caused and now that I made her aware, she seems to be doing the Thai thing, which is " hoping it will just go away and pass"

Can not really blame her as she is uncomfortable with each "finding" but being uncomfortable is simply not good enough in my opinion

I told her to have her bf come tomorrow to fix broken doors and toilets but ......... I feel need to have a serious talk

Edited November 16, 2013 by lemoncake

[lemoncake]

She agreed to stay in my house and look after the animals as well.

You're back now - tell her to move out. Her son is no concern of yours. He can work as a labourer and get his own place again.

She was out on the day I came back, the little rat is not.

I also know it was the little rat who used up all the toothpaste , shower gels, razors, etc.

I am also sure it was him who broke the DVD , and took the cloths

Just throw him out and change the locks. I was under the impression they were both still there.

Consider yourself lucky the damage is only 20,000 Baht, a negligible amount in the long term.

That's what I thought at first, but now day 3 I keep on finding things and missing things

[thailandbeachisland]

Sorry, no offense but you are wrong.

Why let her use the full house when 1 room or even just the kitchen was enough for her and son ?

Now that it happened just think about how stupid you have been to let her full freedom at your house and let her access to your belongings.

I would I let her use only 1 room and would have locked all the other rooms + I would I put WIFI camera and tell her that everything is recorded as well as I can check online.

Not it's done so forget it and just wait that the little rat leaves (they always do when no more food !)

Good luck anyway.

[benalibina]

As we have to take this OP serious, here we go.

Mixing business with personal. Well intended. Bad result. Look for another staffmember in secret. Find 1, dump the girl. She proved to have no respect for you. NO RESPECT !! Or she must mean more to you than just a staffmember. Oh yeah when you kick her out, after finding a replacement, withhold her salary as part of the damages paid

Get the prig out of the house. He is the ghost !

Well being dependant on the selfish and ignorant, running a business, thats your choice.

Good luck !

[lemoncake]

Sorry, no offense but you are wrong.

Why let her use the full house when 1 room or even just the kitchen was enough for her and son ?

Now that it happened just think about how stupid you have been to let her full freedom at your house and let her access to your belongings.

I would I let her use only 1 room and would have locked all the other rooms + I would I put WIFI camera and tell her that everything is recorded as well as I can check online.

Not it's done so forget it and just wait that the little rat leaves (they always do when no more food !)

Good luck anyway.

You missed that she was in the house to look after 11 animals , so access could not be restricted

[Beetlejuice]

If you are running a business in Thailand than there must be other Thai directors involved, as imposed under Thai law. If not and this woman is your only staff member, than your business cannot be legal.

Also you mentioned that you have some animals. what sort of condition were these in when you returned to the home?

If the son and this woman are still in your home, than it appears there is more to this other than just a employer staff relationship, because no employer would let a staff member squat in their own home, no matter how good the employee.

If your business is legal with the other Thai directors, so why not insist on their support in coming to some arrangement with this so-called staff member?

So what`s the real deal here? Because none of this makes sense.

Edited November 16, 2013 by Beetlejuice

[lemoncake]

As we have to take this OP serious, here we go.

Mixing business with personal. Well intended. Bad result. Look for another staffmember in secret. Find 1, dump the girl. She proved to have no respect for you. NO RESPECT !! Or she must mean more to you than just a staffmember. Oh yeah when you kick her out, after finding a replacement, withhold her salary as part of the damages paid

Get the prig out of the house. He is the ghost !

Well being dependant on the selfish and ignorant, running a business, thats your choice.

Good luck !

Point well taken, good maids for hotel are hard to find , especially in the high season - hence the dilemma at the present time.

And like I said, for years she has been nothing but great at work...... Including helping with catching staff who steal, overtime , no days off etc

[lemoncake]

If you are running a business in Thailand than there must be other Thai directors involved, as imposed under Thai law. If not and this woman is your only staff member, than your business cannot be legal.

Also you mentioned that you have some animals. what sort of condition were these in when you returned to the home?

If the son and this woman are still in your home, than it appears there is more to this other than just a employer staff relationship, because no employer would let a staff member squat in their own home, no matter how good the employee.

If your business is legal with the other Thai directors, so why not insist on their support in coming to some arrangement with this so-called staff member?

So what`s the real deal here? Because none of this makes sense.

Please read what has been written, saves me having to repost same thing over and over again, especially when it's only 1 page

And what does not make sense for you?? Were you not aware Thailand has problem with staff ?? Or did you not realize not all need to be married ? Or be able to have a business relation with a Thai female

Edited November 16, 2013 by lemoncake

[Beetlejuice]

If you are running a business in Thailand than there must be other Thai directors involved, as imposed under Thai law. If not and this woman is your only staff member, than your business cannot be legal.

Also you mentioned that you have some animals. what sort of condition were these in when you returned to the home?

If the son and this woman are still in your home, than it appears there is more to this other than just a employer staff relationship, because no employer would let a staff member squat in their own home, no matter how good the employee.

If your business is legal with the other Thai directors, so why not insist on their support in coming to some arrangement with this so-called staff member?

So what`s the real deal here? Because none of this makes sense.

Please read what has been written, saves me having to repost same thing over and over again, especially when it's only 1 page

Nope, I`ve looked and still ask the same questions.

Where are the Thai directors of your company who should be sharing this burden with you.? Because if this woman and her son are refusing to leave your home, then this is a police matter as she is intruding.

Were the animals treated well during your absence?

And are you seriously trying to say that good staff in Thailand are so valuable that an employer would let them take over their homes?

Did you fill out tax returns last year and is this staff member registered with the tax and employment office as a legitimate employee of your company?

Edited November 16, 2013 by Beetlejuice

[crumpled]

Two things (maybe 3).

If she does not know the damage the family have caused why have you not invited her round to see for herself?

Throw the little git out!! He is not yours.

If you are hapopy to keep her on, let the damage be and lesson learned. 20K is not really so much to lose if she is that important to you.

But still throw the little git out and as said in an earlier post, change the locks.

[lemoncake]

If you are running a business in Thailand than there must be other Thai directors involved, as imposed under Thai law. If not and this woman is your only staff member, than your business cannot be legal.

Also you mentioned that you have some animals. what sort of condition were these in when you returned to the home?

If the son and this woman are still in your home, than it appears there is more to this other than just a employer staff relationship, because no employer would let a staff member squat in their own home, no matter how good the employee.

If your business is legal with the other Thai directors, so why not insist on their support in coming to some arrangement with this so-called staff member?

So what`s the real deal here? Because none of this makes sense.

Please read what has been written, saves me having to repost same thing over and over again, especially when it's only 1 page

Nope, I`ve looked and still ask the same questions.

Where are the Thai directors of your company who should be sharing this burden with you.? Because if this woman and her son are refusing to leave your home, then this is a police matter as she is intruding.

Were the animals treated well during your absence?

And are you seriously trying to say that good staff in Thailand are so valuable that an employer would let them take over their homes?

What burden ? Sorry I do not have a son who is a cop

Animals are alive, skinny but alive and look ok.

Clearly you have not read nor ever worked in Thailand , yes good, loyal and reliable staff are very hard to find. And if found need to be trained and all that requires time , which is not suitable during high season

Edited November 16, 2013 by lemoncake

[Exsexyman]

Sorry, no offense but you are wrong.

Why let her use the full house when 1 room or even just the kitchen was enough for her and son ?

Now that it happened just think about how stupid you have been to let her full freedom at your house and let her access to your belongings.

I would I let her use only 1 room and would have locked all the other rooms + I would I put WIFI camera and tell her that everything is recorded as well as I can check online.

Not it's done so forget it and just wait that the little rat leaves (they always do when no more food !)

Good luck anyway.

You missed that she was in the house to look after 11 animals , so access could not be restricted

Eleven animals? <deleted>! Is this a hotel or a zoo?

[Beetlejuice]

If you are running a business in Thailand than there must be other Thai directors involved, as imposed under Thai law. If not and this woman is your only staff member, than your business cannot be legal.

Also you mentioned that you have some animals. what sort of condition were these in when you returned to the home?

If the son and this woman are still in your home, than it appears there is more to this other than just a employer staff relationship, because no employer would let a staff member squat in their own home, no matter how good the employee.

If your business is legal with the other Thai directors, so why not insist on their support in coming to some arrangement with this so-called staff member?

So what`s the real deal here? Because none of this makes sense.

Please read what has been written, saves me having to repost same thing over and over again, especially when it's only 1 page

Nope, I`ve looked and still ask the same questions.

Where are the Thai directors of your company who should be sharing this burden with you.? Because if this woman and her son are refusing to leave your home, then this is a police matter as she is intruding.

Were the animals treated well during your absence?

And are you seriously trying to say that good staff in Thailand are so valuable that an employer would let them take over their homes?

What burden ?

Animals are al

Did you fill out tax returns this year and is this staff member registered with the tax and employment office as a legitimate employee of your company?

Animals are al? What does that mean?

Edited November 16, 2013 by Beetlejuice

[lemoncake]

If you are running a business in Thailand than there must be other Thai directors involved, as imposed under Thai law. If not and this woman is your only staff member, than your business cannot be legal.

Also you mentioned that you have some animals. what sort of condition were these in when you returned to the home?

If the son and this woman are still in your home, than it appears there is more to this other than just a employer staff relationship, because no employer would let a staff member squat in their own home, no matter how good the employee.

If your business is legal with the other Thai directors, so why not insist on their support in coming to some arrangement with this so-called staff member?

So what`s the real deal here? Because none of this makes sense.

Please read what has been written, saves me having to repost same thing over and over again, especially when it's only 1 page

Nope, I`ve looked and still ask the same questions.

Where are the Thai directors of your company who should be sharing this burden with you.? Because if this woman and her son are refusing to leave your home, then this is a police matter as she is intruding.

Were the animals treated well during your absence?

And are you seriously trying to say that good staff in Thailand are so valuable that an employer would let them take over their homes?

Did you fill out tax returns last year and is this staff member registered with the tax and employment office as a legitimate employee of your company?

Please please please tell me how and why my tax matters related to OP or any of your business ???

[lemoncake]

Did you fill out tax returns last year and is this staff member registered with the tax and employment office as a legitimate employee of your company?

Animals are al? What does that mean?

Please please please tell me how and why my tax matters related to OP or any of your business ???

Edited November 16, 2013 by lemoncake

[lemoncake]

Sorry, no offense but you are wrong.

Why let her use the full house when 1 room or even just the kitchen was enough for her and son ?

Now that it happened just think about how stupid you have been to let her full freedom at your house and let her access to your belongings.

I would I let her use only 1 room and would have locked all the other rooms + I would I put WIFI camera and tell her that everything is recorded as well as I can check online.

Not it's done so forget it and just wait that the little rat leaves (they always do when no more food !)

Good luck anyway.

You missed that she was in the house to look after 11 animals , so access could not be restricted

Eleven animals? <deleted>! Is this a hotel or a zoo?

And here we go , troll time.

Animals in my house- reading is the key, trolling is out of fashion

[Beetlejuice]

If you are running a business in Thailand than there must be other Thai directors involved, as imposed under Thai law. If not and this woman is your only staff member, than your business cannot be legal.

Also you mentioned that you have some animals. what sort of condition were these in when you returned to the home?

If the son and this woman are still in your home, than it appears there is more to this other than just a employer staff relationship, because no employer would let a staff member squat in their own home, no matter how good the employee.

If your business is legal with the other Thai directors, so why not insist on their support in coming to some arrangement with this so-called staff member?

So what`s the real deal here? Because none of this makes sense.

Please read what has been written, saves me having to repost same thing over and over again, especially when it's only 1 page

Nope, I`ve looked and still ask the same questions.

Where are the Thai directors of your company who should be sharing this burden with you.? Because if this woman and her son are refusing to leave your home, then this is a police matter as she is intruding.

Were the animals treated well during your absence?

And are you seriously trying to say that good staff in Thailand are so valuable that an employer would let them take over their homes?

What burden ?

Animals are al

Did you fill out tax returns last year and is this staff member registered with the tax and employment office as a legitimate employee of your company?

Animals are al? What does that mean?

Please please please tell me how and why my tax matters related to OP or any of your business ???

You asked for advice and I`m giving it to you.

If your so-called company has not been registered and run strictly according to Thai law regarding foreigners owning companies in Thailand, then you have big problems.

Firstly this woman would not be classified as a bona-fide employee, because she would have been working for an illegal set up, which in turn may cause you legal problems if you try to use unauthorised force in evicting this woman and her son from the said property or seek the assistance of the police.

My advice to you is, wait until the woman and the son are out of the house, place all their belongings into bags and leave them outside the property and then change the locks barring them from re-entering the premises.

If you are afraid to take this action in fear of legal repercussions to you and your so-called company, then good luck to all who sail in her, otherwise if your company is totally legal and has been registered correctly as imposed by Thai law, than you have nothing to fear.

[lemoncake]

If your so-called company has not been registered and run strictly according to Thai law regarding foreigners owning companies in Thailand, then you have big problems.

Firstly this woman would not be classified as a bona-fide employee, because she would have been working for an illegal set up, which in turn may cause you legal problems if you try to use unauthorised force in evicting this woman and her son from the said property or seek the assistance of the police.

My advice to you is, wait until the woman and the son are out of the house, place all their belongings into bags and leave them outside the property and then change the locks barring them from re-entering the premises.

If you are afraid to take this action in fear of legal repercussions to you and your so-called company, then good luck to all who sail in her, otherwise if your company is totally legal and has been registered correctly as imposed by Thai law, than you have nothing to fear.

Again how is all of that relevant to my post or advice sought?

Really Beatle , some of the crap you come out with lately not only raises an eye brow but makes ones ears flop like an elephant

Edited November 16, 2013 by lemoncake

[Beetlejuice]

If your so-called company has not been registered and run strictly according to Thai law regarding foreigners owning companies in Thailand, then you have big problems.

Firstly this woman would not be classified as a bona-fide employee, because she would have been working for an illegal set up, which in turn may cause you legal problems if you try to use unauthorised force in evicting this woman and her son from the said property or seek the assistance of the police.

My advice to you is, wait until the woman and the son are out of the house, place all their belongings into bags and leave them outside the property and then change the locks barring them from re-entering the premises.

If you are afraid to take this action in fear of legal repercussions to you and your so-called company, then good luck to all who sail in her, otherwise if your company is totally legal and has been registered correctly as imposed by Thai law, than you have nothing to fear.

Again how is all of that relevant to my post or advice sought?

Really Beatle , some of the crap you come out with lately not only raises an eye brow but makes ones ears flop like an elephant

Good luck.

[Somsrisonphimai]

Can you ask your staff to ask her son to leave your home? Why are you afraid to make tough decision? I understand you do not want to lose her as your staff but what is right is right.

You probably need to talk with her and might want to withhold her salary for the damage her family caused. After all she is responsible for your home while you were gone.

Is the son still your employee? If so, you can withhold his salary for the damage or rent and call the police for help kicking him out of your home.

What kind of business are you in? I am sure you can find a qualified person to work for you if there is still an issue. Good luck to you.

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