Irrational emotional behaviour !

[benalibina]

Recently i came across a photo on fb of my other halve on which she clearly looks pregnant. I have showed this photo to many others and they all agreed with the fact that she is pregnant. I called her monday to confront her and she replied; are you stupid and begun a rant for a minute over the phone. Eventhough it is sad, i had to laugh about it. After i hung up i am thinking; is she crazy or what ? The same evening i sent her the photo via social media. Wednesday i saw that she had seen the photo.

Thursday she suddenly replied in writing similar as on the phone and denying it. So i sent another picture with a thai comment on it, which mentioned pregnancy 2 and asked if she maybe has done an abortion or that the child is already born. She replied that me confronting her (again, yes) with her actions is the reason she not wants to speak with me and that she would delete me again on her friendslist. I wrote back that it is time to be honest for a change. Suddenly she starts calling me. I feared already for swearing, threatening and cursing so i wrote that she had to promise to talk normal then i would answer the phone. Well no promise and on the 5th call i answered it with a slight hope of talking normal. Well.......no way jose, so i hung up after 25 seconds.

I have showed the same photos to 2 extended familymembers and initially they said she is not pregnant. 1 repeatedly said that. The other 1 said she knew nothing about the pregnancy. Funny whilst her younger sister, they both live in a same country in europe and speak each other daily, wrote the comment on the photo.

To add, without going in detail, i am in europe, she is in patong beach, our kids stay, against my wishes, with SIL up north. No not Issaan !!

For me personally its like i am in a movie, non fiction though, and this irrational behaviour and lying is totally beyond comprehension that somebody behaves like this. Threatening, swearing and out of control.

What is this irrational behaviour and lying about ?

Protecting the thai family unit ? Extended family.

Saving face till the cowes come home ?

Desperation ? Wife.

Or.. something else?

Extra info

The photo was taken 10 weeks ago.

Pregnancy should now be between 7 months and born already.

Nobody in her family has ever told me or given a hint about her pregnancy.

[Briggsy]

I would say it is about protecting and maximising the income stream. It usually is. Not in a particularly rational way just in a short-term way.

[benalibina]

I would say it is about protecting and maximising the income stream. It usually is. Not in a particularly rational way just in a short-term way.

From ?

Edited November 30, 2013 by benalibina

[Briggsy]

Where does your "other half" 's income come from?

[scubascuba3]

Get her on Skype or webcam, easy to see then. If she doesn't money stops

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[daoyai]

She was questioned ,confronted, called out on a lie, the only l ""logical"" reaction on her part is to explode and be so ugly that you will relent just to have a bit of peace. been there, experienced it, no more.

[benalibina]

Where does your "other half" 's income come from?

Unknown......well....... most likely u and i can think from what her income comes from.

Edited November 30, 2013 by benalibina

[Briggsy]

Are you sending her cash? Do you have financial assets in her name? It's ok we are not judgemental here, well I am not, a lot of people on this forum are actually, I digress. Are you sending her money, for your kids, every month?

Your initial question regards irrational behaviour. This is a key indicator of emotional immaturity and of a poor ability to resolve conflicts and situations.

If as your post suggests she has a number of income streams from various countries, it would be in her interest to lie about her pregnancy to maintain income, present and future. Combine that with the emotional immaturity above and you get the angry aggressive rants. It will get worse as she gets older. The vindictiveness and bitterness will grow.

I know it is outside the realms of this thread, and I apologise for that, you might consider a strategy for your children as co-operation of her and her family is already waning.

[khunpa]

To me the irrational emotional behavior that Thai women from time to time can surprise us Farang's with, is a simple act of self-defense.

Scream and shouting avoids all normal conversation from taking place, meaning that the subject remains untouched and the truth therefore also never comes out... If first a Thai woman starts screaming, then its best just to give up, go further and forget anything that just relates slightly to what could be called an "adult conversation". If in drama-mode, you will just get more drama, the more you confront her. (Could be an effect of her watching too many Thai TV-dramas)

But if you turn it around - then why start screaming and shouting if there was/is no problem? :-) So screaming and shouting most likely already answered your question...

[David48]

Mate (OP) ... poor bugger, you can't seem to 'take a trick' * at the moment.

* Means have a win.

It's a sympathetic post.

[Kangawallafox]

Tell her your finished with her,watch her attitude change.

If not be a man and piss her off.

If a woman lies to me that's it.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[rwdrwdrwd]

She was questioned ,confronted, called out on a lie, the only l ""logical"" reaction on her part is to explode and be so ugly that you will relent just to have a bit of peace. been there, experienced it, no more.

Absolutely, identical experience here, was a total nightmare of relationship and I wish I'd walked away the first time it happened. Likely angry because she's been caught out - don't rule out a phone call from the sister saying 'it was a just a joke'.

Edited November 30, 2013 by rwdrwdrwd

[David48]

To me the irrational emotional behavior that Thai women from time to time can surprise us Farang's with, is a simple act of self-defense.

Scream and shouting avoids all normal conversation from taking place, meaning that the subject remains untouched and the truth therefore also never comes out... If first a Thai woman starts screaming, then its best just to give up, go further and forget anything that just relates slightly to what could be called an "adult conversation". If in drama-mode, you will just get more drama, the more you confront her. (Could be an effect of her watching too many Thai TV-dramas)

But if you turn it around - then why start screaming and shouting if there was/is no problem? :-) So screaming and shouting most likely already answered your question...

In our three years together ... I have to be honest that the Thai gf has never raised her voice once ... and considering that she's preggers at the moment ... a great effort ...

that said ... I don't get off scot free ... the 'Thai Sulk' can last hours, one even longer then a day ...

But khunpa, I know what you mean ... I've seen the screaming matches ... I think we all have.

[David48]

Tell her your finished with her,watch her attitude change.

If not be a man and piss her off.

If a woman lies to me that's it.

What about the 'Save Face' white lies ... ?

We've, most likely all had them from time to time.

[benalibina]

Are you sending her cash? Do you have financial assets in her name? It's ok we are not judgemental here, well I am not, a lot of people on this forum are actually, I digress. Are you sending her money, for your kids, every month?

Your initial question regards irrational behaviour. This is a key indicator of emotional immaturity and of a poor ability to resolve conflicts and situations.

If as your post suggests she has a number of income streams from various countries, it would be in her interest to lie about her pregnancy to maintain income, present and future. Combine that with the emotional immaturity above and you get the angry aggressive rants. It will get worse as she gets older. The vindictiveness and bitterness will grow.

I know it is outside the realms of this thread, and I apologise for that, you might consider a strategy for your children as co-operation of her and her family is already waning.

As far as i know, no outcountry incomestreams. If so i would be very very surprised. No, on this i am not naive.

Familysupport is not waning IMO. Most keep quiet only. They dont rely on her. The close FIL are simple people and 1 is running the show. SIL. I have had threats for over 6 months, not being allowed to speak with kids by SIL. U know what threats mean. I use only leverage i have from distance. Sadly enough. I dont bend for threats or blackmail. The extended family are my only hopes eventhough i know they are lying and not forthcoming alot with info. Gotta stay nice so bite my teeth.

My kids are my only worry and interest but hopefully that will be solved automatically by wifes behaviour.

Thanks for your concern about the kids. Appreciated.

[khunpa]

She was questioned ,confronted, called out on a lie, the only l ""logical"" reaction on her part is to explode and be so ugly that you will relent just to have a bit of peace. been there, experienced it, no more.

Absolutely, identical experience here, was a total nightmare of relationship and I wish I'd walked away the first time it happened - I recommend OP does as well.

Well the problem is due to "losing face" by being caught having lied. The actual act of lying is not a "lose face" issue - the problem is getting caught and worst of all confronted with it.

[khunpa]

Tell her your finished with her,watch her attitude change.

If not be a man and piss her off.

If a woman lies to me that's it.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

http://health.usnews.com/health-news/family-health/brain-and-behavior/articles/2009/05/18/were-all-lying-liars-why-people-tell-lies-and-why-white-lies-can-be-ok

Better stop with her then :-) Because we all lie constantly...

[benalibina]

Mate (OP) ... poor bugger, you can't seem to 'take a trick' * at the moment.

* Means have a win.

It's a sympathetic post.

Yes you forgot to share your winnings at the Aussie lottery while ago from my numbers. Remember ?

Strangely enough, her behaviour and some other small things from fammembers make me more convinced that the end is near. No way that she will be much longer responsible for the outcome of the kids life. She is digging her own grave. Unaware of it, she is.

[Briggsy]

Sorry, I meant the co-operation you receive from her and her family. I was not clear. It sounds like the key actor, the SIL, is already more against you than co-operative and your other half's aggression and lying show she is not on your side. (Daoyai and khunpa explained this better than I did.) So, think about what you would like the situation to be 5 years from now and develop a strategy for that.

[David48]

Mate (OP) ... poor bugger, you can't seem to 'take a trick' * at the moment.

* Means have a win.

It's a sympathetic post.

Yes you forgot to share your winnings at the Aussie lottery while ago from my numbers. Remember ?

Strangely enough, her behaviour and some other small things from fammembers make me more convinced that the end is near. No way that she will be much longer responsible for the outcome of the kids life. She is digging her own grave. Unaware of it, she is.

Mate ... I'll check the numbers now ... haven't been back to it.

Thanks for the reminder!

[benalibina]

To me the irrational emotional behavior that Thai women from time to time can surprise us Farang's with, is a simple act of self-defense.

Scream and shouting avoids all normal conversation from taking place, meaning that the subject remains untouched and the truth therefore also never comes out... If first a Thai woman starts screaming, then its best just to give up, go further and forget anything that just relates slightly to what could be called an "adult conversation". If in drama-mode, you will just get more drama, the more you confront her. (Could be an effect of her watching too many Thai TV-dramas)

But if you turn it around - then why start screaming and shouting if there was/is no problem? :-) So screaming and shouting most likely already answered your question...

A malaysian female friend, with a great detest of cheap thai girls, gave me same reaction as you wrote on your last sentence.

[willyumiii]

She is your "other half", ( does that mean she is your wife ) and you have children with her ,

and yet you leave her and the children alone long enough to miss an entire pregnancy?

I don't know that I blame her if she slipped up, slipped one in and got knocked up!

If she even did get pregnant!

Your whole thing is based on a web photo?

If it's important to you at all, get off your butt and get over here and deal with it face to face like a man!

Who is really the irrational one here?

Edited November 30, 2013 by willyumiii

[Briggsy]

Uh oh, we did well lasting till post 22 until the attacks on the OP started.

Time to abandon thread.

[benalibina]

She is your "other half", ( does that mean she is your wife ) and you have children with her ,

and yet you leave her and the children alone long enough to miss an entire pregnancy?

I don't know that I blame her if she slipped up, slipped one in and got knocked up!

If she even did get pregnant!

Your whole thing is based on a web photo?

If it's important to you at all, get off your butt and get over here and deal with it face to face like a man!

Who is really the irrational one here?

Thank u for ur kind and insightfull comment. Reading the point of a thread properly is not your strongest point. I confronted her only this week. A photo is a photo. This 1 is very clear and surely not photoshopped.

I let her alone during the entire pregnancy ! Well .....i am flabbergasted by this comment. I was unaware of it so..

So read the OP again. Thanks

[h90]

maybe she got just fat

Than you asked her if she is pregnant because her stomach is so big on the photo.....

[pomchop]

I once made the mistake of commenting on a female friends "pregnancy" only to be told in no uncertain terms that she had gotten fat but not pregnant.

[Stradavarius37]

OP - Long enough away for her to actually have all that happen - sounds like you are prime husband and father material...

[Kangawallafox]

Tell her your finished with her,watch her attitude change.

If not be a man and piss her off.

If a woman lies to me that's it.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

 

http://health.usnews.com/health-news/family-health/brain-and-behavior/articles/2009/05/18/were-all-lying-liars-why-people-tell-lies-and-why-white-lies-can-be-ok

 

Better stop with her then :-) Because we all lie constantly...

I'm talking about blatant in your face lies that are troublesome and cause lack of trust.

Anything that puts my trust in doubt is a deal breaker.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[laolover88]

This does not make any sense! If it is all true I think you have everyone's sympathy! Where are you? Where are the children? Where is she? Patong? Oh well! With whom do they live? How old are they? Are you married..in any country? Are they your children? When did you last see them, let alone her? Where are you from? Do the children have dual nationality, birth certificates and passports? Is/was your 'other halve (sic)' a bar girl? Does she have a Thai husband? Where are her parents/siblings? The questions about income stream not answered. What about Skype? Many of us have been through not dissimilar experiences. The issue of irrational behavior is not unique to Thailand. I find the Thais very 'irrational' and 'febrile' (ie they go off the deep end at top speed!) by western standards and all girls (and boys) sulk. If the children are important to you, again let alone her, (and this may be difficult from your economic circumstances) I cannot see you have many options other to be with them! Good wishes

[MichaelJackson]

If you are seperated, why would you care about what she's doing ? Its none of your business and shes entitled to a life beyond you.

If you are not seperated, and you care, get off your arse and go see for yourself and sort it out one way or another. Playing guesswork and asking the world what they think wont actually achieve anything, its between you and her.

Perhaps you are hoping if you ask enough people you will get an answer you like ?