lost with my thai GF

[sirchai]

Thanks for the answers. Some of them are really stupid, such the one the guy told I am broke so I don't have any wright to have a GF. That's just amazing.

I think the problem with many farangs, they do think they have to bring something to thailand that they would never bring in their own country.

In your country, do you think I'am broke so I cannot have a GF ?

She always knew I'm small money, we took the decision together to work together in order to be able to stay together. What is so horrible ?

I've got an apartment in my country that I rent and it gives me some money every months, sure it's not a lot, but it helps.

She never saw her ex since nearly two years. I stayed with her days and nights for more than 15 months.

Everytime he paid a visit to the children, she told me immediately and she was upset.

But most people are right here, I'm young, good looking but don't really have so much experience with real life, at least in Thailand.

She wants to work in a restaurant or something same 7/11. She would give 4000 baths her children and the rest for us.

Also I'm working with my computer and do some money with it. She told me she would love to have the children to stay with us after the next holliday because her mother is tired to take care about them.

We already had her 3 years old little girl for 3 months while we were working in the market. I know it is risky and I dont intend to do it again.

I saw my GF waking up every day 7 oclock morning to make the food for the market, the meal for her little girl and for me.

I used to wake up 7 o clock every morning to make a big dough to make doonught to sell them in the market.

I can't say she is the kind of girls many people enjoy to depict all the time.

For the 15.000 baths I gave her, that was 4000 here and there when the school open, it happens two times a year in Thailand. She never asked me for monthly money and the small many she used to get was to pay things for us.

Now like I said, I'm quite a rookie. I'm not sure I would handle well an ex husband in my own country, and I really feel it can be more complicated here in Thailand.

Also I'd like to ad, because I was married for 8 years in my own country then I divorced, I always made it clear to my GF that I would not married again, not because she is thai, just because I think we can get married just one time, that's my point of view.

I'm just scared I couldn't handle a situation where the ex come back to the surface, I don't want to have any troubles.

My main two option is to break with her, or to live it day by day. But I'd like to know more because I don't want give my heart and my confidence to wake up one day and realise what Thailand can be.

I've read it four times to understand your point, but I just don't get it. - Here's my version.

Thanks for the answers. Some of them are really stupid, such the one the guy told I am broke so I don't have any wright to have a GF. That's just amazing.

Most girls/women all around the globe seek something which is called love, but they also need some sort of security, especially when having kids with a local guy. Being a nobody in your own country wouldn't allow you to have a very good looking girlfriend, or wife, either.

I think the problem with many farangs, they do think they have to bring something to thailand that they would never bring in their own country.

I’d guess you meant money, right?

In your country, do you think I'am broke so I cannot have a GF ?

She always knew I'm small money, we took the decision together to work together in order to be able to stay together. What is so horrible ?

Horrible is that love comes and goes.

I've got an apartment in my country that I rent and it gives me some money every months, sure it's not a lot, but it helps.

Hope not paid by your government, as an example the so called "Hartz four" in Germany, or similar systems of social welfare, in Holland.

She never saw her ex since nearly two years. I stayed with her days and nights for more than 15 months.

I’d only believe in ghosts, if I’d see a real one.

Everytime he paid a visit to the children, she told me immediately and she was upset.

But most people are right here, I'm young, good looking but don't really have so much experience with real life, at least in Thailand.

You should delete the last four words.

She wants to work in a restaurant or something same 7/11. She would give 4000 baths her children and the rest for us.

Something same could be aeeh..Let’s say she’d make the similar amount of about 5,000 baht/month.

Also I'm working with my computer and do some money with it. She told me she would love to have the children to stay with us after the next holliday because her mother is tired to take care about them.

So, you're so busy writing stuff on this forum here, which you could look up in books written for guys like you. Does TV really pay its members? Mods.....

Kids should stay with their mom and not the grandparents. You are the reason why she can’t stay with her kids. Guess you can’t speak the language here.

We already had her 3 years old little girl for 3 months while we were working in the market. I know it is risky and I dont intend to do it again.

You’ll never take the three year old again, as it’s so risky. Please explain.

I saw my GF waking up every day 7 oclock morning to make the food for the market, the meal for her little girl and for me.

My wife usually gets up between 4 and 5.30. It’s in her nature. So, she didn't make food for herself?

I used to wake up 7 o clock every morning to make a big dough to make doonught to sell them in the market.

I’m glad that I a sort of dislike droughts.

I can't say she is the kind of girls many people enjoy to depict all the time.

Depict and be depicted.

For the 15.000 baths I gave her, that was 4000 here and there when the school open, it happens two times a year in Thailand. She never asked me for monthly money and the small many she used to get was to pay things for us.

It only HAPPENS twice a year? That’s worrisome. Things for us were fags and beer.

Now like I said, I'm quite a rookie. I'm not sure I would handle well an ex husband in my own country, and I really feel it can be more complicated here in Thailand.

I don’t really know what I’m trying to say.

Also I'd like to ad, because I was married for 8 years in my own country then I divorced, I always made it clear to my GF that I would not married again, not because she is thai, just because I think we can get married just one time, that's my point of view.

There are certain things you can’t to twice. One of them is to live. Why’s her nationality a problem?

I'm just scared I couldn't handle a situation where the ex-come back to the surface, I don't want to have any troubles.

So you’re pretty scared shirtless that this guy could beat the shit out of you.

My main two option is to break with her, or to live it day by day. But I'd like to know more because I don't want give my heart and my confidence to wake up one day and realise what Thailand can be.

The last chapter was too difficult. I’d guess that all of us have and may live day by day.

Does a country do something terrible to you, or people from that particular country?-

Edited December 5, 2013 by sirchai

[iamariva1957]

I do not mean to be negative here as your post is important. But I have to agree with sniffdog on this one. Make sure that the divorce is for real. That has to be your first step I am afraid. Nothing against your GF, but here in Thailand there are far too many stories about us Farangs getting 'taken' even if only slowly and by actions that are well camouflaged to seem in keeping with normal gifting. Just be careful. Age differences have nothing to do with it. Money is important here, far more than perhaps in the West as are families and those connections, needs of, etc. Enjoy all you can, of course, and be happy... just be watchful and sure is what I am saying.

[David48]

I've read it four times to understand your point, but I just don't get it. - Here's my version.

<snip>

sirchai ... thanks for that ...

I feel for this guy because it seems to have a number of Cultural Issues and an apparent lack of street smarts all rolled up in one.

Combine that the English not being his first language and he does come across as a bit of a knob, where, in reality, he's just probably tying hard and struggling to understand it all.

When I don't understand a poster, I normally have a quick look at his posting record.

The OP has just a few others ... http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/684110-question-for-my-thai-gf-anything-permission-needed-to-open-a-video-rental-shop/

Does anyone know if there is any permission needed to open a video DVD rental shop for a thai citizen ? Is there any license needed ?

I supposed most everything sell and rent in this domain is pure illegal copy, is it as easy as opening a food shop ... just burn your DVDs and rent them ?

What I see in that OP is a Western thinking trying to overlaid into Thailand thinking with the obvious disastrous results which could occur though, the use of illegal copies, work permits and lastly that technology has moved forward.

He's struggling.

He's asking for our help, our opinions.

But, for me to try and help, I have to understand him and honestly, I don't.

Easier for me to stick with Meatboy ... his Welsh ramblings are easier for me to translate ...

[Rob180]

Where does your wife live and what did she do before you came along ? I should be very wary of any woman who has been involved with the tourist industry ,

they say once a bargirl always a bar girl .

WOW - not one for second chances then just write off a whole section of society.

I mean its not like we live in a world where OUTSIDE the bargirl scene we won't find cheating, scheming women is it !

Lol, exactly. Some people just can't see the wood for the trees.

[shaurene]

You seem to have a fairly good relationship with her, he comes with his G/F to see his children,he has a right to see them, I would not worry about it, just take care of them and go out with them, they will look on you as theirPappa.

[Bpuumike]

Just Curious. What would you do or have done in the west if you decided to embark on a relationship with a divorcee with 2 children.

Life is just life, its mostly the same everywhere.

Except not quite in Thailand where for 5K... your future is ended.

[sirchai]

You seem to have a fairly good relationship with her, he comes with his G/F to see his children,he has a right to see them, I would not worry about it, just take care of them and go out with them, they will look on you as theirPappa.

Did I misread the OP's post? It seems that the kids are at the woman's parents. They won't call him "Pappa", maybe Farlang Kee Nok.

I'm for the kid's well being, don't really think the OP does anything that helps them. Another example of foreigners who give other foreigners a bad name.

Would this guy really have a valid visa,etc?...

We just had a school trip and I saw a guy selling some food together with a Thai woman at a well known temple near Nakhon Phanom. His shirt looked pretty dirty and it seemed that he had no access to have a shower.

He got a bit nervous when he saw my tourist police volunteer shirt.

This country already has too many jobless people. No need for a foreigner to sell stuff on markets. Then it's really time to move on and go home.-

Edited December 6, 2013 by sirchai

[sirchai]

I've read it four times to understand your point, but I just don't get it. - Here's my version.

<snip>

sirchai ... thanks for that ...

I feel for this guy because it seems to have a number of Cultural Issues and an apparent lack of street smarts all rolled up in one.

Combine that the English not being his first language and he does come across as a bit of a knob, where, in reality, he's just probably tying hard and struggling to understand it all.

When I don't understand a poster, I normally have a quick look at his posting record.

The OP has just a few others ... http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/684110-question-for-my-thai-gf-anything-permission-needed-to-open-a-video-rental-shop/

Does anyone know if there is any permission needed to open a video DVD rental shop for a thai citizen ? Is there any license needed ?

I supposed most everything sell and rent in this domain is pure illegal copy, is it as easy as opening a food shop ... just burn your DVDs and rent them ?

What I see in that OP is a Western thinking trying to overlaid into Thailand thinking with the obvious disastrous results which could occur though, the use of illegal copies, work permits and lastly that technology has moved forward.

He's struggling.

He's asking for our help, our opinions.

But, for me to try and help, I have to understand him and honestly, I don't.

Easier for me to stick with Meatboy ... his Welsh ramblings are easier for me to translate ...

Honestly speaking, I don't think that this is a language barrier issue.. He seems to have missed an important part in his life which is called education.

OK, not native, but naive.-understandable that he won't get married twice as this would cost money. Let's move on and burn some DVD's and sell them to Yingluck's folks. And sell them some deep fried bugs with Papaya'salad..-

[Jasun]

"she never lied to me about those facts"

If she's being upfront and honest with you, you're well ahead of the game as far as these kinds of relationships go.

[Joe Mamma]

As one who worked in the private PI sector after a career in law enforcement. Any investment of the heart and wallet, heeds investigation. You have to be creative in viewing all details of the players involved. Are there clues that are right in sight but not in focus. Look for the not so subtle elements. If you kick enough stones over you will catch any deviations of truth.

[avander]

I know how you feel OP. My wife's ex and all of the ex in-laws are still on the scene too.

Same reasons given for the breakup and while, of course I don't condone it, the ex seems ok to me. As you might expect I was a little jealous and dubious at first. Those stories we all hear do stick with us. He comes and visits to take the kids out every now, buys them gifts and generally keeps in touch. When my wife split with the ex the ex sister looked after the kids a lot for my wife. She has continued her relationship with the kids and has now become a good friend of mine too. She spends some weekends with us and will take the kids out and spoil them rotten. The grandparents see the kids but don't spoil them too much.

I wouldn't be worried, your situation seems pretty normal to me although I would love to know how you get away with not providing any support for her (and the kids), particularly as you would appear to be heading down the marriage path with 3 visits to the family?

Many Thai ladies would think you are trahni (stingy); you're a lucky guy!

Edited December 6, 2013 by avander

[charlesgenv5]

Hi Avender,

thx for your kind and productive comment. I am not stingy. Why should I fully support her family while they can afford a one million bath pickup just to bring the 'pack' at the 'talat' ?

In my country, most people cannot afford a pickup.

I really love her children, they are really cute. The small little girls always want to know where I go if I leave our sight of view. She always look for a cuddle with me. The 10 years old boy is a very nice one, very shy as I am. He is also shy with her mom, he loves to do things alone. I love the way he is always smiling.

I made it clear I wouldn't marry her because I'm just done with my ex wife and now I see marriage as just a paper formality. She is ok with it such as her family.

Her mother is really tired with the two children, she has to work in the field every days, wake up 3 o clock morning to go and sell her production.

She just wants me and my GF to take the children and take care of them. I'm ok with this, I love the 3 of them. My GF has always been ok to have a 50/50 relationship with me. She doesn't wait for me to take care the children while she would stay in bed. She was the 1st to tell me she wants to work. Then I proposed her to do something together because we love to stay together.

For those who leave jealous, angry and unproductive comments, I'd like to say that I came here to get some friendly advices. If I were in the same situation in my country, I would seek for a forum from my mother country.

Also I'd like to say, I'm not the kind to come in a country without learning the language. In my country every foreigners who want to live here have to learn my language.

Speak Thai is quite tough, hopefully I'm a musician with a great ear. I already put nearly 700 active thai words in my brain. Everytime I have to speak with an english speaker, it's a real mess as most words that come in my mouth are thai words. I know you need nearly 1500/2000 in order to maintain a smalltak with a local, I hope I can do it in the coming months.

For the people who post stupid, ignorant of my person, and angry comments, how much of you really did the job to learn the language of your new country ?

From what I could see, and I traveled a lot in Thailand, farangs who can speak thai fluently are a minority. Sadly the rest of them just can spit 2 or 3 words and they are happy with it. That's a sad situation. When you intend to stay in another country, you have to learn to speak the language, whatever you are old, you don't have time or you think your brain cannot handle the job. Even at 80's you can start to learn a new language.

For the one who told I stole the job of a poor thai people by working at the market, I'd like to say there were many places to rent in the market, we just had to chose where we wanted to be located. That was an amazing experience, most other people working in the market were nice to me, many of them used to offer fruits and cakes. Most every days we came back home with unsold food offered from other stalls. I never spoke an english words with them, I always used my thai knowledge. So do I never speak an english word with every locals I use to meet every day.

I'm just here to seek friendly advices or hear about people who used to get in the same situation. Thanks to the people who posted productive and nice comments, I think you know who you are.

At last, I stay in Thailand because I love my GF, if I was not with her, I probably come back in my mother country. Also sorry for my bad english I know it might sound annoying for some people.

[avander]

Hi again Charles,

Yes, it can be difficult to get productive comments from some of the more cynical types here on TV. It's unfortunate but tru thst many have been burnt in their relationships with Thai ladies so you have to accept that there will always be a mix of responses in that respect. Some of us have been 'lucky' too. I count myself as one of them but who knows what the future may hold? Go with the flow but always take a parachute. Caution not cynicism ;-)

Sent from my GT-I9305T using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[BigC]

Personally I don't see any problems in your relationship.

It doesn't surprise me that the ex husband is a scumbag - lying cheating stealing. But his parents still love their grandchildren.

Keep the relationship honest by supporting her on these issues and she'll maybe trust you more & more.

Good luck

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

First I don't know why u refer to her ex husband as sami as I know we are km Thailand but on am english forum it would be easier to write in english

Not taking the poss or nothing just a pointer

Also I understand tot point as to why you are suspicious as if her ex husband stole the tv yet his mum paid for a new one then why could he just have asked for money off his mum

I know her story could be true but does seem a little strange

You could hire a private detective. I hired one years ago to find my ex misses who done a bolt

The story turned out to be very interesting after I finally found out what she was up to before and after she ran

But that is my advise

Hope all works out

U may wish to meet to ex husband like man to man

Is he thai or forang

He might be alright

My ex misses in England has a new boyfriend who helps with my daughter. I get on better with him than my ex

First was watching on him close as wanted to see of he made any trouble between me and my daughter was my only concern

When I sat him down over a pint. He understood the situation and would never try to take my place as my daughters dad at the same time I did have to allow him some powers to discipline her or it would be a nightmare gaining order in the house

Anyway he is the poor basterd stuck with my ex

That is punishment enough lol

[BigC]

Have u considered taking the kids under your wing or is that too much hassle

I only ask as kids make the best grasses lol

[Showbags]

Where is the gentlemans only forum?

[rotary]

I guess you have no major problem now, but it it were me, I would cut and run.

Better to get another GF with less potential problems. Things might work out ok but I am not a gambling man.

[thehelmsman]

I guess you have no major problem now, but it it were me, I would cut and run.

Better to get another GF with less potential problems. Things might work out ok but I am not a gambling man.

Good advice - Same advice would also be good for the lady.

To the OP - The negative posts are probably from the guys who work hard and couldn't or wouldn't feel right beginning a relationship with a lady and especially one with kids if they couldn't provide for them properly. If you can't provide for a new family, why even do this. Contrary to what some think - so called love doesn't provide.

[Berkshire]

Now like I said, I'm quite a rookie. I'm not sure I would handle well an ex husband in my own country, and I really feel it can be more complicated here in Thailand.

The problem is that many Thai girls think that farangs are incredibly gullible. You will believe anything she says, especially regarding her ex. When a Thai girl tells a farang that her ex Thai BF--or any Thai man for that matter--is scum, every farang wants to believe that. She can be a totally lying, dishonest, no-good bimbo, who lies about everything else, but every farang will believe this lie. It's almost as if farangs need to believe that. So you can come to her rescue. Chances are she's still in love with her ex and would go back to him in an instant if he wanted her back. But having you around saves her from having to be alone....for now.

[Chippen Dong]

The ladies forum. FOR ladies in Thailand not ABOUT ladies in Thailand.

Moved to pub.

Cheers

These "ladies" act as if they are under siege in a pub with no beer. perhaps they are. often wonder why they are here at all. plenty of beer and drugs in the west.

[realenglish1]

As long as she is open and honest with you it is normal Sounds like she is a nice lady