The Starting Point for Respecting Thais and Thai Culture

[thailiketoo]

Thai people can be very different from each other just like any other ethnicity each Thai might have their own opinions and beliefs.

The truth is that all Thai culture really is:

-food

-holidays

-belief in ghosts/spirits

-face

Even these aspects which are very common will still vary in degrees.

Everything else varies so greatly that one has to wonder what the point is even trying to put it into borders as "Thai culture". What we can notice is that some Thai people share some similarities but there will always be large exceptions.

For example, my wife has never wai to me before in our entire relationship to my recollection and I am sure if I told this to the Thai Visa cultural experts they would have a huge long list of comments based on "Thai culture" but all they would be doing is entertaining themselves as they hilariously inform my wife who is actually Thai of what she should be doing.

You left out a bunch of stuff. 1. Sex. Taboo and not taboo stuff. 2. Buddhism. 3. Family and marital responsibilities. 4. Parts of the body that are clean and dirty. 5. Age and respect for and age for certain acts cultural and legal definitions may be different. 6. Treatment of animals and old people. 7. Cultural distance and eye contact. And I'm just scratching the surface. Frankly, 000999 you don't seem to have a clue. You might try google

• norms
• folkways
• mores
• taboos
• laws

You forgot:

hair style

favorite color

favorite music star

favorite movie

personality

life outlook

favorite sport

favorite football team

favorite city in thailand

favorite soda

favorite room temperature

favorite automobile brand

No. Norms, folkways, mores, taboos and laws have nothing to do with the trite personal likes and dislikes you mentioned. But if you choose to ignore the norms, folkways, mores, taboos and laws of Thailand I would imagine you will have quite a negative opinion of Thailand and Thais will have a negative opinion about you. Which I think by looking at your previous posts has happened.

[farang000999]

ok please explain to me Thai Culture - Marriage

and then please explain to me why Thai people all seem to have their own unique view of marriage? are some of them less culturally aware? are they "not real thais", maybe they have Khmer blood and just learned Thai?

some people just abandon their children with their grand parents or a neighbor and others would not want to make that choice? which is Thai culture? Some cheat on their wife and others do not. Which is Thai culture?

Like I said, you would have better luck conducting a survey on any of the superficial individual choices i listed above as you would "marriage".

[thailiketoo]

I generally respect everybody- until they prove to be @$$holes.

But "respect" a culture? Moreover one, that shows little respect for any other "culture"...thanks...but, no thanks!

Reminds me of fire ants. The USA never had fire ants. Some dummy brought them to fight the pine beetle.

Just me of course, but I've never met a person who understood the Thai culture that didn't like or profit from it.

I would imagine you expect Thais to show respect for your culture by providing you the things you think are necessary in terms of food and toilets and large size clothes but you find it not necessary to delve beyond a surface level into theirs.

Do Thais respect any other culture? Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

[thailiketoo]

ok please explain to me Thai Culture - Marriage

and then please explain to me why Thai people all seem to have their own unique view of marriage? are some of them less culturally aware? are they "not real thais", maybe they have Khmer blood and just learned Thai?

some people just abandon their children with their grand parents or a neighbor and others would not want to make that choice? which is Thai culture? Some cheat on their wife and others do not. Which is Thai culture?

Like I said, you would have better luck conducting a survey on any of the superficial individual choices i listed above as you would "marriage".

Less children are abandoned in Thailand than in many other countries. The Buddha abandoned his wife and children before he was the Buddha. There are two sides to every issue. My next door neighbor takes care of a distant relatives young child and has since almost birth. For free. Just because he is a worthy person. So on one hand there is a mother who has abandoned a child on the other hand there is a family who supports a child not their own. One is worthy of admiration and one is not. Both are part of Thai culture, You choose to look at the negative aspect only.

I have a good Thai friend who was raised by his grandmother. The family left him on her doorstep. No one knew granny had a fortune hidden away. When she died she left it all to the child that was abandoned on her doorstep. And he flipped off the rest of the family. They hate him now because he won't share any of his substantial wealth with them.

So continue to look for the bad as opposed to the good. You'll be more miserable than you are today.

Or

Edited December 27, 2013 by thailiketoo

[LingLek]

You just have to keep in mind that you are in another country, bereft of the support system that nourished, protected and generally insulated you from others. Easy. But for most people on this list, a seeming impossibility.

[rayongchelsea]

ok please explain to me Thai Culture - Marriage

and then please explain to me why Thai people all seem to have their own unique view of marriage? are some of them less culturally aware? are they "not real thais", maybe they have Khmer blood and just learned Thai?

some people just abandon their children with their grand parents or a neighbor and others would not want to make that choice? which is Thai culture? Some cheat on their wife and others do not. Which is Thai culture?

Like I said, you would have better luck conducting a survey on any of the superficial individual choices i listed above as you would "marriage".

Less children are abandoned in Thailand than in many other countries. The Buddha abandoned his wife and children before he was the Buddha. There are two sides to every issue. My next door neighbor takes care of a distant relatives young child and has since almost birth. For free. Just because he is a worthy person. So on one hand there is a mother who has abandoned a child on the other hand there is a family who supports a child not their own. One is worthy of admiration and one is not. Both are part of Thai culture, You choose to look at the negative aspect only.

I have a good Thai friend who was raised by his grandmother. The family left him on her doorstep. No one knew granny had a fortune hidden away. When she died she left it all to the child that was abandoned on her doorstep. And he flipped off the rest of the family. They hate him now because he won't share any of his substantial wealth with them.

So continue to look for the bad as opposed to the good. You'll be more miserable than you are today.

Or

You say less children are abandoned and then give 2 immediate examples.

I know no anyone in the west who has done this yet you can recite these examples.

Of course you have to mention wealth, thats a part of thai culture you seem to have absorbed.

The Thais are not a holier than thou race, and have multiple issues as most 3rd world countries have.

Don't need to look for the bad is thrown at you..

[thailiketoo]

You say less children are abandoned and then give 2 immediate examples.

I know no anyone in the west who has done this yet you can recite these examples.

Of course you have to mention wealth, thats a part of thai culture you seem to have absorbed.

The Thais are not a holier than thou race, and have multiple issues as most 3rd world countries have.

Don't need to look for the bad is thrown at you..

I said there are many countries where more children are abandoned than Thailand. I also said; for the bad of a mother leaving a child I have also seen good because the children were raised by concerned Thai people family and not family.

I also told of a man I know who's grandmother raised him and she unbeknownst to the rest of the family was very wealthy and the child inherited the money (sad beginning happy ending).

You quote, "The Thais are not a holier than thou race, and have multiple issues as most 3rd world countries have." Did you really mean that Thais are holier than thou? I find myself wondering what issues you are writing about.

My mother was French and father Swiss and I was abandoned at two weeks old and raised by a foster family of religious nuts (Catholic).

I have seen 5 Western cultures up close and personal. All and all for morals, I'll take Thailand.

[Aussieroaming]

I think you have to accept other cultures if you chose to live there.

Many foreigners move to our home countries and we expect them to accept our culture whether they like it or not.

They can maintain their cultural ties as long as they integrate into our society and culture.

So whats different about Thailand? I am living in Thailand and I accept the cultural norms .... even if some of them are personally not my views

[Thai at Heart]

On the surface, I'm always respectful. But in my heart of hearts there are some issues.

Before I can fully respect their culture, first they must learn to respect my humanity.

It goes beyond the scams, as well as the sensational headlines of criminals getting proverbial slaps on the wrists for egregious, and sometimes violent crimes against westerners.

The crux of it is, too many western men marry, build a house, have children and are no closer to permanent residency than a first-time tourist. That's disgraceful. If you're allowing us to marry, there should be some reasonably accessed path to a permanent stay. I'm not asking for the right to vote, but simple assurance that if I have children here, no one can force me from them on a visa technicality.

1. Who is they? 60 million Thais?

2. What is your humanity? Don't give me some weak thing about a word in a language you don't understand. Do they take you to a hospital or a Veterinarian when you are sick?

3. What things do you not respect in their culture now that would change?

1) They, as in this society.

Numbers 2 and 3 I already answered: Humanity is being able to stay in our children's lives without excessive government oversight. That is what I don't respect, and that's what I would change.

Husbands and fathers shouldn't have to check-in like criminals on probation. If the authorities are that worried about it, they should make it harder to get a marriage visa initially. Once it's issued, the government should stay out of a man's family life (barring, of course, criminal activity). I can't fully respect a society -- which is a direct reflection of a people's cultural values -- that justifies this behavior to a person simply because he is of different national origin.

Unfortunately you obviously haven't seen the recent changes to the rules in the uk for spouses. 3 months my wife has been separated from kids and the intrusion is horrendous.

If I saw Teresa may in the street not sure what I would do.

[GuestHouse]

Unfortunately you obviously haven't seen the recent changes to the rules in the uk for spouses. 3 months my wife has been separated from kids and the intrusion is horrendous.

If I saw Teresa may in the street not sure what I would do.

I wouldn't waist your time looking around the street for Theresa May, she might have implemented policy changes which had negatively impacted your family, but she has done so in response to public pressure.

TVF members have been at the forefront of baying and barking at the moon calling for tightening of immigration rules to the UK - They thought it their right to live in someone else's country and never imagined their ranting against foreigners going to the UK might be understood as ranting against their own Thai family following them home.

Forget Theresa May and have a look at what has been said time and time again on TVF - ask yourself did you challenge those anti immigrant views when you saw then or did you simply not think they might one day be referring to you and your own family.

[Thai at Heart]

Unfortunately you obviously haven't seen the recent changes to the rules in the uk for spouses. 3 months my wife has been separated from kids and the intrusion is horrendous.

If I saw Teresa may in the street not sure what I would do.

I wouldn't waist your time looking around the street for Theresa May, she might have implemented policy changes which had negatively impacted your family, but she has done so in response to public pressure.

TVF members have been at the forefront of baying and barking at the moon calling for tightening of immigration rules to the UK - They thought it their right to live in someone else's country and never imagined their ranting against foreigners going to the UK might be understood as ranting against their own Thai family following them home.

Forget Theresa May and have a look at what has been said time and time again on TVF - ask yourself did you challenge those anti immigrant views when you saw then or did you simply not think they might one day be referring to you and your own family.

There is anti migrant policy and there is the mess they have created now whereby anyone from Europe is free to enter and for example a breast feeding mother from Japan is separated from her kids.

The system is horrendous and I think basically inhumane. But hey,if it keeps the daily mail readers happy it must be good right? She has knee jerked to satisfy a global number...great they can have as many vagrant eastern European beggars as they want but mothers of British citizens must jump through hoops.

Immoral and inhumane in the extreme.

Edited December 27, 2013 by Thai at Heart

[rayongchelsea]

You say less children are abandoned and then give 2 immediate examples.

I know no anyone in the west who has done this yet you can recite these examples.

Of course you have to mention wealth, thats a part of thai culture you seem to have absorbed.

The Thais are not a holier than thou race, and have multiple issues as most 3rd world countries have.

Don't need to look for the bad is thrown at you..

I said there are many countries where more children are abandoned than Thailand. I also said; for the bad of a mother leaving a child I have also seen good because the children were raised by concerned Thai people family and not family.

I also told of a man I know who's grandmother raised him and she unbeknownst to the rest of the family was very wealthy and the child inherited the money (sad beginning happy ending).

You quote, "The Thais are not a holier than thou race, and have multiple issues as most 3rd world countries have." Did you really mean that Thais are holier than thou? I find myself wondering what issues you are writing about.

My mother was French and father Swiss and I was abandoned at two weeks old and raised by a foster family of religious nuts (Catholic).

I have seen 5 Western cultures up close and personal. All and all for morals, I'll take Thailand.

No issues. Just an expression..probably not the most appropriate one..less than perfect maybe better and no more or no less than any other nationality.

I don't get the morals bit..endemic corruption, ability to lie without conscience, lack of empathy , lack of trust,lack of responsibility,all characteristics of a society more concerned with face than a high sense of morality.

We have something in common however the lunatic religious fringe..

[123thaibourbon]

Woe to me,another loaded question Thai style. The Question Trap per se. As Warren Buffett often speaks of the ovarian lottery. Still today, most humans are born into 'poverty'. 5 of 7 billion do not use the www, internet call it what you will. From a young age, when able, they do hard dangerous labor on farms or factories. Some resort to picking garbage, prostitution, crime, renegade soldiers or doing nothing. Do pray tell me how is that something to value or create national identity? The shame becomes unbearable. Thus, the emergence of fundamental religious or radical groups of every stripe. Their law is 'god's Law' or whatever may be ascribed to. End result, as Charles Dickens so well understood; more children of poverty & ignorance, more workhouses, prisons, war & violence. It is a global elite of youth that attend high school or =, even less a university. Small enclaves in countries surrounded by a drowning sea of humanity. Thailand no exception.

In my 25+ yrs learning about Thailand, a book written by Dr. Henry Holmes entitled 'Working with Thais' is most helpful. I only wish it was available to me during my years living there. It discusses the 11 types of smiles and other anecdotes...

Thai society in general is similar to other places. Caste mindsets are still common. In my experience, well meaning Thais who are quite knowledgeable seem to test others( incl farangs) about things. Upon a given response, that becomes the end of the conversation. The trick is to pursue a 'correct' answer or politely request their reply. Otherwise, get hung 3 sheets to the wind and confirm their superiority over lesser beings. replace ignorance & want with tolerance & compassion, all else is Clap Trap!

Edited December 29, 2013 by 123thaibourbon

[benalibina]

You say less children are abandoned and then give 2 immediate examples.

I know no anyone in the west who has done this yet you can recite these examples.

Of course you have to mention wealth, thats a part of thai culture you seem to have absorbed.

The Thais are not a holier than thou race, and have multiple issues as most 3rd world countries have.

Don't need to look for the bad is thrown at you..

I said there are many countries where more children are abandoned than Thailand. I also said; for the bad of a mother leaving a child I have also seen good because the children were raised by concerned Thai people family and not family.

I also told of a man I know who's grandmother raised him and she unbeknownst to the rest of the family was very wealthy and the child inherited the money (sad beginning happy ending).

You quote, "The Thais are not a holier than thou race, and have multiple issues as most 3rd world countries have." Did you really mean that Thais are holier than thou? I find myself wondering what issues you are writing about.

My mother was French and father Swiss and I was abandoned at two weeks old and raised by a foster family of religious nuts (Catholic).

I have seen 5 Western cultures up close and personal. All and all for morals, I'll take Thailand.

No issues. Just an expression..probably not the most appropriate one..less than perfect maybe better and no more or no less than any other nationality.

I don't get the morals bit..endemic corruption, ability to lie without conscience, lack of empathy , lack of trust,lack of responsibility,all characteristics of a society more concerned with face than a high sense of morality.

We have something in common however the lunatic religious fringe..

You took the words right out of my mouth on ur second paragraph.........by these kind of people my kids are raised ! Presumably they are happy though......thats what counts......

[rayongchelsea]

You say less children are abandoned and then give 2 immediate examples.

I know no anyone in the west who has done this yet you can recite these examples.

Of course you have to mention wealth, thats a part of thai culture you seem to have absorbed.

The Thais are not a holier than thou race, and have multiple issues as most 3rd world countries have.

Don't need to look for the bad is thrown at you..

I said there are many countries where more children are abandoned than Thailand. I also said; for the bad of a mother leaving a child I have also seen good because the children were raised by concerned Thai people family and not family.

I also told of a man I know who's grandmother raised him and she unbeknownst to the rest of the family was very wealthy and the child inherited the money (sad beginning happy ending).

You quote, "The Thais are not a holier than thou race, and have multiple issues as most 3rd world countries have." Did you really mean that Thais are holier than thou? I find myself wondering what issues you are writing about.

My mother was French and father Swiss and I was abandoned at two weeks old and raised by a foster family of religious nuts (Catholic).

I have seen 5 Western cultures up close and personal. All and all for morals, I'll take Thailand.

No issues. Just an expression..probably not the most appropriate one..less than perfect maybe better and no more or no less than any other nationality.

I don't get the morals bit..endemic corruption, ability to lie without conscience, lack of empathy , lack of trust,lack of responsibility,all characteristics of a society more concerned with face than a high sense of morality.

We have something in common however the lunatic religious fringe..

You took the words right out of my mouth on ur second paragraph.........by these kind of people my kids are raised ! Presumably they are happy though......thats what counts......

Just because those in power or prominent individuals display these characteristics it doesn't mean everyone is like this. However it can be counter balanced by reasonable parenting.There are a lot of happy kids in Thailand, it's just the education system sucks..

[mrtoad]

Respect people for who they are, and not what they are.

[thailiketoo]

Respect people for who they are, and not what they are.

Never been in the Army, or in court, or in trouble with the police, or get married by a priest, or had a teacher, or had a boss or should I go on?

[mrtoad]

Respect people for who they are, and not what they are.

Never been in the Army, or in court, or in trouble with the police, or get married by a priest, or had a teacher, or had a boss or should I go on?

You can still follow an order, or a law without respecting the person. Poor attempt at trying to be clever.

[123thaibourbon]

Woe to me,another loaded question Thai style. The Question Trap per se. As Warren Buffett often speaks of the ovarian lottery. Still today, most humans are born into 'poverty'. 5 of 7 billion do not use the www, internet call it what you will. From a young age, when able, they do hard dangerous labor on farms or factories. Some resort to picking garbage, prostitution, crime, renegade soldiers or doing nothing. Do pray tell me how is that something to value or create national identity? The shame becomes unbearable. Thus, the emergence of fundamental religious or radical groups of every stripe. Their law is 'god's Law' or whatever may be ascribed to. End result, as Charles Dickens so well understood; more children of poverty & ignorance, more workhouses, prisons, war & violence. It is a global elite of youth that attend high school or =, even less a university. Small enclaves in countries surrounded by a drowning sea of humanity. Thailand no exception.

In my 25+ yrs learning about Thailand, a book written by Dr. Henry Holmes entitled 'Working with Thais' is most helpful. I only wish it was available to me during my years living there. It discusses the 11 types of smiles and other anecdotes...

Thai society in general is similar to other places. Caste mindsets are still common. In my experience, well meaning Thais who are quite knowledgeable seem to test others( incl farangs) about things. Upon a given response, that becomes the end of the conversation. The trick is to pursue a 'correct' answer or politely request their reply. Otherwise, get hung 3 sheets to the wind and confirm their superiority over lesser beings. replace ignorance & want with tolerance & compassion, all else is Clap Trap!

add those lost to pre-birth destruction aka abortion: If you represented the world in just 100 people, 48 would live on less than $2 a day. What do population dynamics mean for our future? http://j.mp/1aJ8gXA

Edited December 31, 2013 by 123thaibourbon