Sinsod maybe the end

[Patsycat]

Will you be getting a Visa for your Mother in Law too???!!

[rgs2001uk]

Will you be getting a Visa for your Mother in Law too???!!

From what the OP has posted on here so far, the MIL is the only one with any sense.

If I were the OP, I would ditch the g/f and take up with the MIL.

[atyclb]

Well the bit that is really hard to swallow is that she doesn't love you. I know, I know. What does anyone else know? Well, once you've been in Thailand a while...you get to know shit. She doesn't love you. She might in time, just might if she is a real good one. The other thing is that she'll have a boy friend. Guaranteed if you send her 1,500 dollars a month. They'll be round her like flies on shit. Get that through your head. Not nice I know. You are a fool. Thailand does that to men. It did it to me and at least a million others.

Sometimes "hard to swallow" is less dependent on love than it is on anatomy

Fwiw I have been reading. I just don't have the time to troll a thread and post as much as all of you.

Pretty much fighting the last week with her because i have taken a stand. Her mother is not the one to blame, as I'm told anyways. She wants the Sinsod for her mother. I can only gather it's for her self esteem.

She's been told a marriage based on money isn't about love, and I won't marry this way. I could probably get the cash for all this but not easily. Not doing it.

Your replies have made me think. By the way the garbage replies I was referring to, were those that just said simply "fool" "sucker"....ect.

Just thought I'd chime in.

[atyclb]

She's agreed to no sinsod after a week of fighting about it. Her mom thinks having a full wedding is just a waste of money, better saved for other things. I wonder if she thinks this due to no sinsod being shown.

Still plan on marrying just will not have the huge wedding. Prepping to bring her and her daughter here is just financially tough. Will be easier now that the monthly help is half what it was.

Its somewhat reassuring that she came around although 1 week of fighting is not so reassuring. I had a prenuptial contract then ended up saving my butt. People can and do change no matter how much you may love them or believe in them, etc etc.

[mesquite]

OP, you sound like a reasonable guy who has fallen in love with a Thai woman and is trying to do the right thing.

The right thing in a western man's mind is considered a weakness in a Thai's mind.

You're going through a learning curve and I would say just continue, but be aware that you may have to be more forceful. For example, "No sinsod. End of conversation." No fighting or debate. Ignore the tantrums or other forms of manipulation.

I've been through this type of thing recently, and things went better when I laid down the law. The Thais don't handle ambiguity well at all.

"My way or the highway" and "The Golden Rule: He who has the gold rules."

HOWEVER, don't go overboard. I know men who once proudly proclaimed they gave their Thai gf's NO money, and later the girls left for men who did!

Hang in there, dude, and realize it will all work out. Much better than a western woman from farang land.

[simon43]

balls, pair, grow

[fifthcolumn]

The common wisdom is correct, still sin sot is paid to Thai women in second marriages although it's often just show.

Most sin sot is for show these days anyway. Mine sure was.

Suggest the op just say no. Watch her vanish into the thick steamy night in a flash. That's when you kniw true Internet love.

Internet

Love

[mesquite]

For the record the Thai girl I married did not want nor expect sin sod nor a big wedding. She was just grateful to find a nice, decent, working falang to take care of her and her child. And I knew her and lived with her for 12 months before I knew she was a good girl to marry.

You have only known your girl for a relative "minute".

My Thai girl isn't different, she would have squeezed me dry if given the chance.

She tried for Sin Sot (got 100k), tried for a big wedding (got 300bht), got a house (the deposit).

But I'm old and she's young, so I had to give in a little bit.

Anyway, back to the OP, you're bonkers mate, and the demands will never end.

+l

[paz]

One of the most laughable postings ever, and it comes with a lot of boldface

I know from my own disasterous experience with a Khon Kaen professional scammer in 2010... I was taken with the same situation as you are going into.

<lotsa trivia deleted>

In your case, you should consult in depth with and obtain the legal assistance of a Thai-American or another Thai-Farang Law Firm attorney located either in Bangkok or in your own country.

Hire them for 5000 to 7000 USD (pay as you go if possible) to start over to renegotiate everything with your fiancee henceforth.

Put it all in a formally written documented Pre-Marital Agreement with finances and an escape clause set up in detail, get her signature first, then you sign.

Then have the attorney manage the Visa Process.

Only after the Visa is approved and in possessiont, return to Thailand to marry her in a traditional but non-legal Thai wedding.

Then take her and you and the kids (if moving the kids is logival and possible as is written into the Agreement) to your country.

There you should legally marry in your mation first after a month to 3 months maximum so that you are both legally obligated to work together seriously.

If there is any extra last minute demands to extract more finances that is wriien in the Pre-Marital Agreement or there is any dealy or refusal to marry legally under the Agreementas is, then utilize the necessary legal language and Escape Clause in the Agreement to move away from the wife and kids with consultation with your own personal and private attorney to stop, prevent and protect against further legal or financial obligation to the wife and kids other than what your national domestic laws require of you.

Pure crazyness. lawyers for what?, 5 to 7K to a lawer to to marry a poor woman??? And get an Agreement and this, ad that, all spelt pompously.. get a life!

[paz]

What is a common practise is to give the sin sod for show and get it back after the ceremoney. Tradition is up-held, faces saved.

I've alwasy asked myself what one would do if the money isn't givin back. <sarcasm> Tourist Police sounds about rigth. <\sarcasm>