The Ladies Forum

[somchai jones]

Somchai, Lorena Bobbitt was 1)Central American and 2) doing it long after Thai women had already started.

So, thanks anyway for the post but it really doesn't have much to do with the topic at hand I think

Easy, SBK, before you get all worked up, you may want to read the past posts.

The Lorena Bobbit comment was not even posted by me but by a previous poster of the female gender who was actually praising you for your tenacity and likening you to the aforesaid Lorena.

I simply added the 'Ouch..' as I get an involuntary twinge in a certain part of my anatomy whenever I hear her name.

I'm aware of Ms Bobbit's nationality and equally aware that the same method has also been used by Thai women. I actually admire the creativity of a certain Thai woman who after severing her man's tool, proceeded to cook it in a noodle soup.

So, think again SBK, whilst admitting to being a bit frivolous, Somchai is actually quite a nice bloke.

Edited May 25, 2006 by somchai jones

[sbk]

You should use a or smiley so I know you aren't being a twit and being a nice guy instead.

I missed the post referring to me as a Lorena Bobbitt stand in, gosh I hope not. Tenacity and personal violence are two different things in my book.

Anyway, since we are now way off topic, lets return

[somchai jones]

You should use a or smiley so I know you aren't being a twit and being a nice guy instead.

I missed the post referring to me as a Lorena Bobbitt stand in, gosh I hope not. Tenacity and personal violence are two different things in my book.

Anyway, since we are now way off topic, lets return

Somchai graciously accepts your apology.

[HarryHerb]

Easy, SBK, before you get all worked up, you may want to read the past posts.

The Lorena Bobbit comment was not even posted by me but by a previous poster of the female gender who was actually praising you for your tenacity and likening you to the aforesaid Lorena.

I simply added the 'Ouch..' as I get an involuntary twinge in a certain part of my anatomy whenever I hear her name.

Mea culpa. It was a JOKE (as mods were talking about snipping offensive male posts)

Sincere apologies for offending anyone or causing unnecessary twinges in male nether regions.

[phibunmike]

I am 100% against a restricted forum. When I first joined TV I was one of about 3 know female posters & George kindly gave us this area to expand on. If it was restricted the it would be impossible for other women to find this place.

I think everyone needs to remeber, this is the internet, and anyone can post anything they like, it is up to us mods to restrict it & genuine posters to protect their space by not letting the trolls win. Ladies, we need to thinken our skin to the idiots & try to ignore them.

May I make a suggestion ? There seem to be two general opinions amongst the ladies here, some stating they don't want a female-only forum, but some using language which suggests that might be welcome in at least some cases.

As a test, when you start a new thread, why not at the sub-title "ladies only please" if it really is a "girly-chat-do-you-like-Keanu" type thread ? I'm sure most guys would respect that, just the same way as we will leave you girls alone to chat about nail polish in the coffee shop, but enjoy your input in a conversation about politics at the bar

[Old Croc]

Just so I know the rules:

Men can post in the Ladies forum as long as they don't say anything that may upset any lady who posts there. They must be agreeable at all times, never offer an alternate viewpoint and under no circumstances be responsible for taking the thread off topic. They must never respond to any insults directed at them by a lady and be acceptable to, and friendly with, certain mods?

Edited May 25, 2006 by Old Croc

[Patsycat]

You just hit the nail on the head, Croccy!!

[moscow5]

Not sure how many times it needs to be said - seems the men and women who post here have said it enough:

can you disagree? of course! how many times have the women come to the defense of men who've been unfairly jumped on in this forum - even when the insult comes from a female, no less! how many times have the women here disagreed? we're not talking about having a forum where everyone agrees.

but disrespect? leave it at the door. seems like everyone gets what we're saying - only those few who can't seem to wrap there heads around women wanting a place where they can post freely w/out being insulted and/or post without having the thread taken way off topic.

stop twisting our words around and making it sound like we don't want men here when that's not what most of us are saying and you know it.

[Sheryl]

It's also a question of a little common sense...like when the OP specifically asks for advice from women or a woman's point of view, then obviously it is not appropriate for men to jump in with their opinions beacuse that's not what the thread is about.

There was a thread like this a while back, started by a man seeking female input/advice on a relationship problem. Imemdiately got a whole slew of male advice, and the OP finally came back plaintatively asking if he couldn't please get a woman's viewpoint....

[mark45y]

I was going to say something about equality and equality without responsibility and if you seek equality in employment and pay and life in general but are unable handle equality in posting on Thai Visa.

I was going to say something about respect for humanity as being a higher good than respect for gender.

I was going to say something about separate but equal never worked in education.

I was going to say something about how great the moderation is on Thai Visa in general and I don’t really think the ladies need a second layer of moderation in one forum because I think they are mentally equal to the men posting in other forums.

I was going to say something about my experience working in a female dominated industry (health care) and the dislike of the ladies for settling problems in an open discussion, preferring instead to gather in private cliques and deciding issues based on special interests preventing democratic decision making.

I was going to say something about my belief that there will always be a glass ceiling until the ladies step up to the plate with a willingness to debate issues without pulling out the gender card.

I was going to say something like the above but then I read the post about the nipple tattoo.

I realized the ladies are right. There is nothing, absolutely nothing I could say about that post. It would be in the best interest of the forum if I was even prevented about thinking about that post.

So forget about what I said above I am taking it back to the drawing board.

[gisele]

I was going to say something about equality and equality without responsibility and if you seek equality in employment and pay and life in general but are unable handle equality in posting on Thai Visa.

I was going to say something about respect for humanity as being a higher good than respect for gender.

I was going to say something about separate but equal never worked in education.

I was going to say something about how great the moderation is on Thai Visa in general and I don’t really think the ladies need a second layer of moderation in one forum because I think they are mentally equal to the men posting in other forums.

I was going to say something about my experience working in a female dominated industry (health care) and the dislike of the ladies for settling problems in an open discussion, preferring instead to gather in private cliques and deciding issues based on special interests preventing democratic decision making.

I was going to say something about my belief that there will always be a glass ceiling until the ladies step up to the plate with a willingness to debate issues without pulling out the gender card.

I was going to say something like the above but then I read the post about the nipple tattoo.

I realized the ladies are right. There is nothing, absolutely nothing I could say about that post. It would be in the best interest of the forum if I was even prevented about thinking about that post.

So forget about what I said above I am taking it back to the drawing board.

I was going to say that another post by a male poster giving his opinions of how women should be would be tiresome

I was going to say that patronizing posts just proves our point

I was going to say that post with disguised condescending opinions demontrates how some male posters just don't get it and never will

I was going to say that girl talk is just girl talk, and has nothing to do with equality in the work place or education, just a place hopefully free from male put downs and sarcasm

I realized that some self-absorbed male posters just can't help adding their 2 cents worth,

So forget what I was going to say, it's been said before

[sbk]

I was going to say something about equality and equality without responsibility and if you seek equality in employment and pay and life in general but are unable handle equality in posting on Thai Visa.

I was going to say something about respect for humanity as being a higher good than respect for gender.

I was going to say something about separate but equal never worked in education.

I was going to say something about how great the moderation is on Thai Visa in general and I don’t really think the ladies need a second layer of moderation in one forum because I think they are mentally equal to the men posting in other forums.

I was going to say something about my experience working in a female dominated industry (health care) and the dislike of the ladies for settling problems in an open discussion, preferring instead to gather in private cliques and deciding issues based on special interests preventing democratic decision making.

I was going to say something about my belief that there will always be a glass ceiling until the ladies step up to the plate with a willingness to debate issues without pulling out the gender card.

I was going to say something like the above but then I read the post about the nipple tattoo.

I realized the ladies are right. There is nothing, absolutely nothing I could say about that post. It would be in the best interest of the forum if I was even prevented about thinking about that post.

So forget about what I said above I am taking it back to the drawing board.

I was going to say that another post by a male poster giving his opinions of how women should be would be tiresome

I was going to say that patronizing posts just proves our point

I was going to say that post with disguised condescending opinions demontrates how some male posters just don't get it and never will

I was going to say that girl talk is just girl talk, and has nothing to do with equality in the work place or education, just a place hopefully free from male put downs and sarcasm

I realized that some self-absorbed male posters just can't help adding their 2 cents worth,

So forget what I was going to say, it's been said before

I would have said, "well said, Gisele" but since you didn't say it I guess I won't

[mark45y]

I don’t write clear enough. What I was trying to say is I found a lot of reasons why I think the ladies forum is a disservice to women because it projects the stereotype that women are not equal and need special care and handling to get along in the world. Then I read the post about the nipple tattoo and I realized if I thought about that my sarcastic nature would gain control of my fingers and I would be turned into a Mr. Hyde and there should be a place that women can speak about such issues free of male humor or critique.

[Jai Dee]

Goodbye Mark (and any others that might want to add their 2 satangs worth...)

[soic]

The biggest tragedy that I've seen thus far, is that these ladies have had to spend 5 pages justifying their right to have a chauvinism free zone. I wasn't going to post or interfere, I was just curious to see if they were able to pull it off. As usual, males have virtually dominated the post by constantly asking for clarification. Can't we guys give them some space and freedom without the clutter? I mean, they've made it clear that we can post and view what they're doing, I think that's admirable, all they did is ask that we allow them the courtesy to express their views without verbal attacks or attempts at changing the thread. Can't we let them begin their discussion without another 5 pages of "clarification"?

[Jai Dee]

The biggest tragedy that I've seen thus far, is that these ladies have had to spend 5 pages justifying their right to have a chauvinism free zone. I wasn't going to post or interfere, I was just curious to see if they were able to pull it off. As usual, males have virtually dominated the post by constantly asking for clarification. Can't we guys give them some space and freedom without the clutter? I mean, they've made it clear that we can post and view what they're doing, I think that's admirable, all they did is ask that we allow them the courtesy to express their views without verbal attacks or attempts at changing the thread. Can't we let them begin their discussion without another 5 pages of "clarification"?

Well said soic... and if I was a moderator for this particular forum, I would have closed this thread by now.

I can close it, and I personally think that enough clarification has been given to date, but I'll leave it up to one of our lady mods to either close the thread or keep it open... as she sees fit.

Is is the Ladies Forum, and as I've said before, they should be given enough space and respect to discuss things the way they want to discuss them... without unrequested male intervention.

Be warned gents... further violations of their space, or further condecending or patronizing posts, will be rewarded with holidays.

[alaina]

I find it interesting that the chauvinism injected by a select few in the forum (with the exception of this thread) is not being posted anymore so far.

Instead, it has been replaced by homophobic comments like in this thread. It seems if a select few when told they have to be respectful towards women have to show disrespect to another group. (Even if the OP was a bit naive as a noob.) How about a simple rule of, "Don't act like a jerk"?

Are they now posting chauvinism in the gay forum instead?

[bkkmadness]

I don't see much point in this thread as though its a warning to current male members there will be plenty of new male members joining up and the problem will just occur over and over again.

You need to find either a better solution to the problem or perhaps pin this thread so its constantly available for new members to read.

Right now I can only see a short term solution to what will be a long term problem.

[KhunMarco]

I don't see much point in this thread as though its a warning to current male members there will be plenty of new male members joining up and the problem will just occur over and over again.

You need to find either a better solution to the problem or perhaps pin this thread so its constantly available for new members to read.

Right now I can only see a short term solution to what will be a long term problem.

yup a sticky seems a sensible idea.

[bkkmadness]

Of course the trouble with pinning a thread is that not many people read them, and those that do might feel inclined to troll here a little more.

I think that at the end of the day thicker skin may be needed unless you want to start banning people and suspending them left, right and centre and lets face it, TV could do with calming down on that whole thing anyway.

You will always have this trouble in a male dominated forum, especially one full of Thailand expats, many of which have a real hate for western women I'm afraid. Is there really much that can be done about it? I'm not sure that there is.

[khall64au]

Of course the trouble with pinning a thread is that not many people read them, and those that do might feel inclined to troll here a little more.

I think that at the end of the day thicker skin may be needed unless you want to start banning people and suspending them left, right and centre and lets face it, TV could do with calming down on that whole thing anyway.

You will always have this trouble in a male dominated forum, especially one full of Thailand expats, many of which have a real hate for western women I'm afraid. Is there really much that can be done about it? I'm not sure that there is.

To tell the truth, I have noticed that in the year I have been a TV member, most men have become a lot more respectful to the female forum members. Seems to me there will always be a few that want to wear the chauvinist cap but, as a general observation, you guys are enjoying our "femme" company more and more... in fact, getting more PC by the month.

[Wolfie]

To tell the truth, I have noticed that in the year I have been a TV member, most men have become a lot more respectful to the female forum members. Seems to me there will always be a few that want to wear the chauvinist cap but, as a general observation, you guys are enjoying our "femme" company more and more... in fact, getting more PC by the month.

thats always been the problem, the few spoiling it for the many, but they get a kick out of it... so they dont give a <deleted>.

Sad, but true

[britmaveric]

I have no doubt you ladies are quite capable of handling matters with knobs and I delightfully pitch in when needed. I think Boo/SBK just need to continue as always and take necessary moderation as they deem necessary. Keep up the good work.

[Boo]

I recently updated the rules to the ladies forum to include the request to keep femme topics on topic. It's a rule myself, SBK & other mods will be quoting whenever someone strays from the subject at hand

I concurr with my respected moderator collegue JD & am closing this thread now as there really is nothing left to say.