Tae A Fart

[Artisan]

TAE A FART

Oh whit a sleekit horrible beastie

Lurks in yer belly efter the feastie

Jist as ye sit doon among yer kin

There sterts tae stir an enormous win'

The neeps 'n' tatties 'n' mushy peas

Stert workin' like a gentle breeze

But soon the puddin' wi' the sauncie face

Will hae ye blawin' a' ower the place

Nae maiter whit the hel_l ye dae

A'bodys gonnae hiv tae pay

Even if ye try tae stifle

It's like a bullet oot a rifle

Hawd yer bum ticht tae the chair

Tae try an' stop the leakin' air

Shify yersel fae cheek tae cheek

Prae tae God it disnae reek

But aw yer efforts go assunder

Oot it comes like a clap o' thunder

Ricochets aroon the room

Michty me a sonic boom

God almichty it fairly reeks

Hope a huvnae s**t ma breeks

Tae the bog a better scurry

Aw whit the hel_l, it's no ma worry

A'body roon aboot me chokin

Wan or twa are nearly bokin

A'll feel better for a while

Cannae help but raise a smile

Wis him! A shout wi' accusin glower

Alas too late, he's jist keeled ower

Ye dirty bugger they shout and stare

A dinnae feel welcome ony mair

Where e'er ye be let yer wind gang free

Sounds like jist the job fur me

Whit a fuss at Rabbie's party

Ower the sake o' wan wee farty

[suegha]

What an ode!!!