Ex says I'm a father

[mike123ca]

So why does the birth certificate list you as the father if you are not even sure that you are the father? Sent from my GT-I9500 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Truthfully any name can be registered on the birth certificate. As another poster mentioned it does not mean you are a legal guardian.

To the OP; the heck with a DNA test I would be getting an HIV test first. Not judging, just saying!

Thailand always has a way of screwing over the foreign man whereas everyone else seems to enjoy certain advantages. Thanks to Thailand being a patriarch society, if a woman gets pregnant and is not married to the man, then she is up a creek without a paddle. This is one area where single men don't have to take any real responsibility for their children. Then again the government doesn't recognize as being the father unless they are married.

Edited January 20, 2014 by mike123ca

[Loles]

And your ex GF is Isaan, isn't it?

[SOTIRIOS]

...I can't understand how you can put that responsibility on you with NO proof.....

...especially since you yourself said that she had been switching boyfriends frequently....

....since you don't know how many guys she slept with during and after your relationship....you have no idea who the father is...

...but you put yourself down for legal and financial obligations....

...what next...being sued for abandoning your baby or who knows what.....

..she coerced you into signing the birth certificate.....watch out......

[FiftyTwo]

...I can't understand how you can put that responsibility on you with NO proof.....

...especially since you yourself said that she had been switching boyfriends frequently....

....since you don't know how many guys she slept with during and after your relationship....you have no idea who the father is...

...but you put yourself down for legal and financial obligations....

...what next...being sued for abandoning your baby or who knows what.....

..she coerced you into signing the birth certificate.....watch out......

Neither father or mother is required to sign the Thai birth certificate.

Usually it's all done by a hospital official.

But anyone can do it.

Edited January 20, 2014 by FiftyTwo

[ozyjon]

I saw this happen with someone i know (the female Thai lady) she blackmailed a guy for 150000 baht, with the same story, i don't know if the guy paid or not only know that the documents she produced were not real, made at home on the computer, so in your case make sure the procedure is 100% real and later check documents (by lawyer) to confirm real or not, i don't trust many people here.

[FiftyTwo]

I saw this happen with someone i know (the female Thai lady) she blackmailed a guy for 150000 baht, with the same story, i don't know if the guy paid or not only know that the documents she produced were not real, made at home on the computer, so in your case make sure the procedure is 100% real and later check documents (by lawyer) to confirm real or not, i don't trust many people here.

Blackmailed him for what?

An unmarried father has no responsibility for any children he produces in Thailand.

[Nemesis7]

DNA test is your only answer

[benalibina]

What a world we live in !

[fela]

Thanks everyone for all your advice/suggestions. It's much appreciated. I know I have to get a DNA test done for peace of mind. But after what some posters have said I don't know if I can trust getting it done in Thailand. Do local hospitals provide a DNA test kit to do it oneself? I think I don't need the mother to get it done, just the baby and mine. Or maybe I should get a kit from 'farangland' and get it done there. About the birth certificate, I had to fax a copy of my passport and sign it first and I had to send it again as the first one wasn't legible. Has anyone heard of having to do that? Some have said I was stupid for having my name put on it but she was going to put the boyfriend's name on it and then no name which suggests she isn't trying to scam me. She also said he wants to take care of the baby so I don't have to worry. And she hasn't been in touch with me for two weeks since I got back from Thailand ignoring my attempts at contact so far. Maybe she is trying to scam me but that's not how it seems to me right now. I could just stop all contact but I guess I'd want to know for sure. But then if I find out I am the father I'd feel responsible so it would be more difficult to walk away.

[Ulic]

Step 1/DaNA test. I am going to admit a guilty pleasure here on TV. I watch way to much Maury Povich. His show is pretty much

Who's Your Daddy with chicks dragging men in full denial to the show for DaNA testing. Does not matter how much the child

looks like you or does not look like you this has to be done. Go on line get a DaNA kit sent to you.

If you are the father, 2/ CONGRATULATIONS, now man up. It's your child.

3/ Do something for the child, register the birth at your embassy so the child can get a passport from your country. At the earliest

convince get her a passport. This could make a big difference for her in the future.

4/Get in your child's life as much as possible. When you visit Thailand take a few days to visit, birthday, Christmas gifts or whatever

is appropriate.

5/ Finances, 3000 baht a month steady, to whoever is looking after the child. If its the grand mother send it to her not the ex.

Also half the education costs and half the medical costs. This is the minimum but is also what is appropriate. Those sending

more are in all likely hood just being used as ATM's . Later on if she shows aptitude and works hard you can send more to

put her in the best school you can afford/want to pay for. Mother will probably always opt for the cheapest. Hopefully you

will want to do the right thing. Up to you. Bring her home to visit her grand parents. Stay involved its your child. Very easy to

turn your back and forget about the whole thing but its just not the right thing to do. Up to you. Best of luck.

*If you send a lump sum it will just be used to by a Scooter/TV/ Stereo or something, but not your child. Don't do it.

[FiftyTwo]

Thanks everyone for all your advice/suggestions. It's much appreciated. I know I have to get a DNA test done for peace of mind. But after what some posters have said I don't know if I can trust getting it done in Thailand. Do local hospitals provide a DNA test kit to do it oneself? I think I don't need the mother to get it done, just the baby and mine. Or maybe I should get a kit from 'farangland' and get it done there. About the birth certificate, I had to fax a copy of my passport and sign it first and I had to send it again as the first one wasn't legible. Has anyone heard of having to do that? Some have said I was stupid for having my name put on it but she was going to put the boyfriend's name on it and then no name which suggests she isn't trying to scam me. She also said he wants to take care of the baby so I don't have to worry. And she hasn't been in touch with me for two weeks since I got back from Thailand ignoring my attempts at contact so far. Maybe she is trying to scam me but that's not how it seems to me right now. I could just stop all contact but I guess I'd want to know for sure. But then if I find out I am the father I'd feel responsible so it would be more difficult to walk away.

Your name and passport number are written on the birth cert.

I'm guessing she didn't know your passport number.

It still doesn't mean anything legally.

[khaowong1]

You need to do the DNA test. Mahidol and Ramathibodi hospitals offer it, it willl cost 15-20,000 Baht. I could be wrong but if that's too much you can try a blood test first. The child should have the same blood group as you. If not, this is a sure sign that its not your child (not 100% sure here). But if the blood group is the same, this doesn't necessarily confirm you are the father. In any event DNA test is best, they will give you c copy of the results in English and in Thai.

As does Bumrungrad and Samitivej.

[edwardandtubs]

Thanks everyone for all your advice/suggestions. It's much appreciated. I know I have to get a DNA test done for peace of mind. But after what some posters have said I don't know if I can trust getting it done in Thailand. Do local hospitals provide a DNA test kit to do it oneself? I think I don't need the mother to get it done, just the baby and mine. Or maybe I should get a kit from 'farangland' and get it done there. About the birth certificate, I had to fax a copy of my passport and sign it first and I had to send it again as the first one wasn't legible. Has anyone heard of having to do that? Some have said I was stupid for having my name put on it but she was going to put the boyfriend's name on it and then no name which suggests she isn't trying to scam me. She also said he wants to take care of the baby so I don't have to worry. And she hasn't been in touch with me for two weeks since I got back from Thailand ignoring my attempts at contact so far. Maybe she is trying to scam me but that's not how it seems to me right now. I could just stop all contact but I guess I'd want to know for sure. But then if I find out I am the father I'd feel responsible so it would be more difficult to walk away.

Unfortunately DNA testing is far too complex for a "do it oneself" kit. Did you really believe such a thing was possible? You sound painfully naive. I think this woman is exploiting your naivety. Not contacting you for a while and then suddenly being in desperate need of your help is how this particular scam is usually played out. She's probably 100% sure it's not your baby so wants to avoid the DNA test but still string you along until the inevitable tearful phone call. Just forget about her and get on with your life.

[Bazw57]

There was someone on Thai visa recently (different topic) who talked of getting a mouth swab kit and then sending this to a test facility in the UK or USA somewhere for the results.

It sounded like an easy process where you simply swab the child's mouth then place this in a sterile container and send it of by mail and you get the results back a few weeks later.

I cannot remember the cost he quoted but it didn't seem to me to terribly expensive either. perhaps a few hundred dollars at the most.

I have a feeling the testing may have been done a University laboratory but not sure on that point.

Has anyone heard of this service or know of companies or laboratories thay offer this type of service?

Sent from my GT-I9100 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[Bazw57]

There was someone on Thai visa recently (different topic) who talked of getting a mouth swab kit and then sending this to a test facility in the UK or USA somewhere for the results. It sounded like an easy process where you simply swab the child's mouth then place this in a sterile container and send it of by mail and you get the results back a few weeks later. I cannot remember the cost he quoted but it didn't seem to me to terribly expensive either. perhaps a few hundred dollars at the most.I have a feeling the testing may have been done a University laboratory but not sure on that point. Has anyone heard of this service or know of companies or laboratories thay offer this type of service? Sent from my GT-I9100 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

PS... I think this maybe the self testing kit that was being referred to hear... take the sample yourself and then send it off for the test results with of course a sample swab of your own mouth for comparison and matching with the child.

Sent from my GT-I9100 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[dighambara]

Erm....congratulations....?

You won't be the first bloke suckered in with the ''meet your child'' scam...get the DNA test done. Only way to be 100% sure. It can be quite a hoot sometimes in Pattaya (and beyond) seeing proud 'fathers' pushing some kid around which clearly has less ''farang'' in it than it's mother has ever had.....

I'd say, you've rumbled her once already for being a liar so I'd not be pinning my hopes on this being true....

HMMM - You should read up on genetics and heredity.

I have known many mixed race couples both in Thailand and in the US and the children come out any which way; Asian, Farang, or mixed. DNA is the only way to prove conclusively, but blood type (group) can give clues.

From my first marriage, our son looks Asian, is twice as big as his mother and has my blood type.

[FlorenceM]

I saw this happen with someone i know (the female Thai lady) she blackmailed a guy for 150000 baht, with the same story, i don't know if the guy paid or not only know that the documents she produced were not real, made at home on the computer, so in your case make sure the procedure is 100% real and later check documents (by lawyer) to confirm real or not, i don't trust many people here.

Blackmailed him for what?

An unmarried father has no responsibility for any children he produces in Thailand.

Wow, sounds like humans are just toys to you.

[sometimewoodworker]

I saw this happen with someone i know (the female Thai lady) she blackmailed a guy for 150000 baht, with the same story, i don't know if the guy paid or not only know that the documents she produced were not real, made at home on the computer, so in your case make sure the procedure is 100% real and later check documents (by lawyer) to confirm real or not, i don't trust many people here.

Blackmailed him for what?

An unmarried father has no responsibility for any children he produces in Thailand.

Wow, sounds like humans are just toys to you.

I don't see the statement as anything other than fact. From observation my BIL (Thai) has nothing to do with (supporting) his son or her mother (Thai).

It may have been better to word it as "an unmarried (or village married) father does not have to take responsibility for any children he produces in Thailand."

Of corse there are many Thai men who support their children. However there are also many who don't.

[fela]

Thanks everyone for all your advice/suggestions. It's much appreciated. I know I have to get a DNA test done for peace of mind. But after what some posters have said I don't know if I can trust getting it done in Thailand. Do local hospitals provide a DNA test kit to do it oneself? I think I don't need the mother to get it done, just the baby and mine. Or maybe I should get a kit from 'farangland' and get it done there. About the birth certificate, I had to fax a copy of my passport and sign it first and I had to send it again as the first one wasn't legible. Has anyone heard of having to do that? Some have said I was stupid for having my name put on it but she was going to put the boyfriend's name on it and then no name which suggests she isn't trying to scam me. She also said he wants to take care of the baby so I don't have to worry. And she hasn't been in touch with me for two weeks since I got back from Thailand ignoring my attempts at contact so far. Maybe she is trying to scam me but that's not how it seems to me right now. I could just stop all contact but I guess I'd want to know for sure. But then if I find out I am the father I'd feel responsible so it would be more difficult to walk away.

Unfortunately DNA testing is far too complex for a "do it oneself" kit. Did you really believe such a thing was possible? You sound painfully naive. I think this woman is exploiting your naivety. Not contacting you for a while and then suddenly being in desperate need of your help is how this particular scam is usually played out. She's probably 100% sure it's not your baby so wants to avoid the DNA test but still string you along until the inevitable tearful phone call. Just forget about her and get on with your life.

[fela]

Thanks everyone for all your advice/suggestions. It's much appreciated. I know I have to get a DNA test done for peace of mind. But after what some posters have said I don't know if I can trust getting it done in Thailand. Do local hospitals provide a DNA test kit to do it oneself? I think I don't need the mother to get it done, just the baby and mine. Or maybe I should get a kit from 'farangland' and get it done there. About the birth certificate, I had to fax a copy of my passport and sign it first and I had to send it again as the first one wasn't legible. Has anyone heard of having to do that? Some have said I was stupid for having my name put on it but she was going to put the boyfriend's name on it and then no name which suggests she isn't trying to scam me. She also said he wants to take care of the baby so I don't have to worry. And she hasn't been in touch with me for two weeks since I got back from Thailand ignoring my attempts at contact so far. Maybe she is trying to scam me but that's not how it seems to me right now. I could just stop all contact but I guess I'd want to know for sure. But then if I find out I am the father I'd feel responsible so it would be more difficult to walk away.

Unfortunately DNA testing is far too complex for a "do it oneself" kit. Did you really believe such a thing was possible? You sound painfully naive. I think this woman is exploiting your naivety. Not contacting you for a while and then suddenly being in desperate need of your help is how this particular scam is usually played out. She's probably 100% sure it's not your baby so wants to avoid the DNA test but still string you along until the inevitable tearful phone call. Just forget about her and get on with your life.

[fela]

I think truth lies somewhere between naïveté and cynicism. How do you know DNA testing is 'far too complex' for a kit done oneself? I merely asked the question as others have brought it up and I also notice Boots in the UK sells one which proved controversial there. There are lots of assertions here but the point is I don't think I can just forget her as you suggest and 'get on with my life' when there's a good chance I am a father.

[brewsterbudgen]

This is a trollish post but also.to toss into the questions

Did she come out of a bar

Did you meet her online

Does she have a proper, solid job

Did you meet her in Pattaya, Phuket

Is her English better than avg Thai

Can she speak or say any words in addl langs other than English

Have her spend the money on the blood test than dna and send results to you.

I had a scammy slut back in US years ago wanted me to pay for abortion. We slept together once, protected sex. Sure, send me the bill. Never heard from her.

The only trollish post is yours! None of the questions you pose are in the least bit relevant and are just trolling for a reaction (which I've now given you

[Naroge]

DNA test, named on the Birth certificate means absolutely nothing in Thailand unfortunatley... You are only the legal father if you...

1) Marry the mother

2) A court recognises you as father

3) The child (when older) identifies you as the father in front of Amphur officials.

Are you sure about this? Never heard of before, and my Mrs normally knows her way around here. Except for step no 1 (Marriage) we never did step 2 or 3.

Would this be applicable for mixed/foreign marriages only?

If you were legally married in Thailand (not ceremony) prior to the birth of your child and your name is listed on the birth certificate then you will be deemed the legal parent/guardian of said child.

If not legally married at the time of birth steps 2 and 3 come into play.

OK, thanks. I misunderstood the information to be consecutive requirements 1-2-3, but it is either 1 or 2 or 3. Got it.

[edwardandtubs]

I think truth lies somewhere between naïveté and cynicism. How do you know DNA testing is 'far too complex' for a kit done oneself? I merely asked the question as others have brought it up and I also notice Boots in the UK sells one which proved controversial there. There are lots of assertions here but the point is I don't think I can just forget her as you suggest and 'get on with my life' when there's a good chance I am a father.

You make it sound like you think you can put some saliva on a piece of paper and it's green for 'it's mine' and red for 'cuckold'. What you're referring to is obtaining the swabs yourself and then sending them to a laboratory for analysis. Seems to be the cheapest and most trustworthy way forward for you. You just need to get a swab from that other guy's baby.

[fela]

I think truth lies somewhere between naïveté and cynicism. How do you know DNA testing is 'far too complex' for a kit done oneself? I merely asked the question as others have brought it up and I also notice Boots in the UK sells one which proved controversial there. There are lots of assertions here but the point is I don't think I can just forget her as you suggest and 'get on with my life' when there's a good chance I am a father.

You make it sound like you think you can put some saliva on a piece of paper and it's green for 'it's mine' and red for 'cuckold'. What you're referring to is obtaining the swabs yourself and then sending them to a laboratory for analysis. Seems to be the cheapest and most trustworthy way forward for you. You just need to get a swab from that other guy's baby.

[fela]

I'm glad you've worked out what the DNA kit is. You seemed to be the only one confused ('naive'?) about how it was done.

[Bikkii]

No, I'm white. The baby is quite fair skinned like me.

Is she a bar girl? Good chance you are just a very small needle in an incredibly large hay stack.

[edwardandtubs]

I'm glad you've worked out what the DNA kit is. You seemed to be the only one confused ('naive'?) about how it was done.

So why are you on here asking other people about it? If you know how it's done go ahead and do it.

Edited January 21, 2014 by edwardandtubs

[fela]

I'm glad you've worked out what the DNA kit is. You seemed to be the only one confused ('naive'?) about how it was done.

So why are you on here asking other people about it? If you know how it's done go ahead and do it.

[fela]

I wasn't just asking about that as you know. There's a video on the Boots website of a swab being taken and it looks very easy. I don't know yet if Boots in Thailand does it or what would be the best provider/way of doing it. I accept some of what you're saying but object to how you're sometimes saying it. Enough said.