How will your wife's life play out in your home country?

[fifthcolumn]

Hi -

Wife and I have talked a few times about going back. Nothing serious. I've not lived in US for two decades so job (for both) is a huge issue, being 55 and 40 at the time we might arrive would not help.

But here is the dilemma. You move back and have some good years. You die at 90 which leaves her alone at 75. I think yhe first thing she would want to do is return to Thailand. This would involve selling the domicle and all the kit. Daunting for an old immigrant woman snd eho knows the property market.

I suppose you could sell it all off at 80 and move back, but why drain the finances when you have Medicare and no ins in Thailand?

Regardless, my idea is to buy a condo at 70+, this wouls see us thru till I pass and her as well. She can give to nieces if anything is left of it after that (35-40yrs).

Would be interested to hear from you snd if you are not Murkan, however the situation might apply.

So far, best idea I have is to just live here and go back for a few years to travel the US.

Thanks

[HooHaa]

one would hope that after 35 years in country she would be able to fend for herself

[Rooo]

Moved to general.

[NeverSure]

If you work for 10 years you would get a modest social security check for life. Your last 20 years of work, and how much you paid in (which is based on how much you earn) is how they calculate the amount, so if you worked until 70 you would get two bonuses. You would have 15 years of contributions, and if you work to 70, your check is increased by 25% as opposed to getting benefits from age 65.

If you both work at jobs that provide health insurance, you're golden. Your wife would also build her own Social Security retirement and qualify for medicare at age 65.

Long term I think you would be better off financially in the US if you didn't move to one of the "high rent" areas.

And yes, you can find jobs.

If you can afford to stay in Thailand, then it's just a matter of preference.

[sirineou]

My wife will do just fine here in the US.

I made sure , she learned the language, went to school and learned a trade that is in demand, and where she makes good money.and got her citizenship papers.

In about 10 years when I retire, I would like to come back to Thailand, for that we will have a house and a car paid for there, so that we can live comfortably,on my Social security. and Union pension. because she is working here and is now a US citizen, when she reaches age, she will be entitled to receive Social security benefits. Also because she is a citizen if something was to happen to me she can always come back to the US, and because her trade is in demand , she can always get a job here. We have a property in Florida, that when we retire I plan to rent, and let it pay for it's self, in the event we have to come back.

While retired in Thailand I will see if I can start a business related to her trade, where she can make enough money to independently live there in case something happened to me and my retirement income stopped. and she did not want to come back to the US.

Hopefully. I will live long enough that by the time I pass, she will be able to collect on her retirement,

Anyway that's the plan.

[farang000999]

Most Thais seem to be reasonably happy in the USA but my wife only eats Thai food and it can be very hard at times because she literally has to cook every single meal she eats so she spends 5 hours a day cooking and washing dishes. I try to buy her farang food every now and then and it usually results in me being yelled at.

[IAMSOBAD]

Most Thais seem to be reasonably happy in the USA but my wife only eats Thai food and it can be very hard at times because she literally has to cook every single meal she eats so she spends 5 hours a day cooking and washing dishes. I try to buy her farang food every now and then and it usually results in me being yelled at.

Shes a brat...like a child.

You should trade up to a new model.

[beachproperty]

Good to hear that you have planned everything out til your 90.

As for my wife .....and how her life would play out in my home country.....Well ...I'm not going to worry about it! Why? Because took my wife of ten years there in the beginning and asked her if she wanted to live there? her response- "its a nice clean country, seems safe, but have no transportation to the market (she doesn't drive), and my family and friends are in Thailand....I want to live in Thailand!"

So Thailand is where we have been for the last 10 years and I have no regrets. My wife is happy so I am happy!

[farang000999]

Most Thais seem to be reasonably happy in the USA but my wife only eats Thai food and it can be very hard at times because she literally has to cook every single meal she eats so she spends 5 hours a day cooking and washing dishes. I try to buy her farang food every now and then and it usually results in me being yelled at.

Shes a brat...like a child.

You should trade up to a new model.

Hard to blame someone for their dietary preferences.

[sirineou]

Most Thais seem to be reasonably happy in the USA but my wife only eats Thai food and it can be very hard at times because she literally has to cook every single meal she eats so she spends 5 hours a day cooking and washing dishes. I try to buy her farang food every now and then and it usually results in me being yelled at.

My wife eats mostly Thai food also, Lucky for as we have Two Asian markets with in 5 miles from our home, and good for me I love Thai food.

Western food is difficult for them,they are used to spicy food with a lot of flavor, My wife always complains that the food I make has no taste, and I can understand that.

[wprime]

one would hope that after 35 years in country she would be able to fend for herself

Not meaning to generalise, but most Thai women I've met tend not to learn anything unless they absolutely have to. So unless he forces her to fend for herself while he's still around, she's not going to be able to manage on her own.

That being said, if she was connected with the local Thai community she will have no problems.

[sam sen]

Most Thais seem to be reasonably happy in the USA but my wife only eats Thai food and it can be very hard at times because she literally has to cook every single meal she eats so she spends 5 hours a day cooking and washing dishes. I try to buy her farang food every now and then and it usually results in me being yelled at.

sounds like paradise

[ridge runner]

don't know why you think wife would be unable to handle things. my wife and me and 2 children lived in us for 37 years during that time she worked, while I was out of the country working shee sold two houses traded bought and sold cars and trucks etc. rven had a small oriental store for a while. in the latter years helping to take care of three grand kids. my wife is what some here would say poor issan with bad education. she is also offically handicapped I never knew that until we moved back. why did we return to thailand as other poster said my wife wants to die here. don't put a thai woman down they can do a lot more than you think. go for it you will be surprised and can always jump on a jet plane.

[farang000999]

honestly even if your wife is unable to handle such an event a real estate agent will easily handle everything for you. estate sales are very common when older people pass away and kids who can only get a few days away from work come by and take the important items they want to pass on and the entertainment set and cookware gets sold off quickly in a couple of days with a few yard signs and CL advertisements. and the real estate agents know what the home is worth and are paid on commission. really not much reason to worry about this all .

[farang000999]

Most Thais seem to be reasonably happy in the USA but my wife only eats Thai food and it can be very hard at times because she literally has to cook every single meal she eats so she spends 5 hours a day cooking and washing dishes. I try to buy her farang food every now and then and it usually results in me being yelled at.

sounds like paradise

Where ever you live there are always going to be pros and cons. The food situation is pretty great for me. I get all the delicious real NY style pizza, country fried steaks, real subs with real cold cuts, real hot dogs and sausages, delicious baked bread and doughnuts, etc etc and i also get my wife's good thai cooking.

[Nignoy]

I disagree with some of the comments about the unadaptability of thai women, sadly my first wife who was thai, never got the chance to adapt, but over the last 50 years ,my wife and I who have had to overcome humoungous problems in foreign countries and strange environments, 2 cases that spring straight to mind, a village girl with a smattering of English, working in a ubon hotel has a penpal n Germany, after 3 years correspondence,he visits her ,2 years later they marry and he takes her home to his village in Germany, where she learns to read and write german and English,also win the hearts and minds of all the village residents, she started work in a toothbrush factory in the next big town, last time we met she had just been promoted from shiftmanager to Production manager, not bad for a simple village girl. the 2nd girl was brought to England in 1986 as a servant for a rich thai couple,her visa was coupled with her thai work contract, after a couple of years the man of the house had gambled his money away and his wife had gone back to Thailand taking the servants passport and papers with her, leaving thepoor woman penniless without a home or a job, we found her a place with thai friends and a job cleaning a restaurant, but with no legal paperwork what should she do?? she was left in the hands of the immigration lawyers and the Croydon immigration offices,18 years and 35000 pounds later she receive her residency papers and a new passport she could have gone the marriage of convenience way, but her independence was more important, now she manages a well known string of Thai restaurants,what goes around comes around the onetime rich wife, now works in the kitchen of one of these restaurants!!personally I think given half the chance most thai women can adapt and make living in a foreign country work for them!!

[donniereadit]

From what I gather it is much more difficult for Thais in general to integrate into the US, then it is for foreigners to transition to living in Thailand.

Perhaps because Thais are so social, and the US cities are not that friendly at all, with crime and not being trustful of strangers and what have you (Especially large cities like NY or LA).

Your location would need to match the person to have a go at it. Most Thais I meet think it's funny how foreigners want to live here, or can't manage some little things. But I can tell you they would not probably not last more then a month in the US on their own. Seems to be a lot of pride in country as well that is masking some sort of insecurity.

[wym]

Of course they CAN manage perfectly well. Very few actually WANT to.

So if they have a mate that is willing to let her make the decision, voila suddenly they CAN'T.

Most TGs I know hunting for farang mates will only settle for one that's very wealthy if they see they'll have to leave their homeland.

They're happy to accept a normal working/middle class fellow if they can stay here.

Given the question of whether he should stay here or not, that's largely irrelevant as long as he sends the money reliably. In fact him being gone is seen as a bonus for some, best of all possible worlds.

[farang000999]

I would think there was more crime in Thailand than the West.

[farang000999]

But I can tell you they would not probably not last more then a month in the US on their own. Seems to be a lot of pride in country as well that is masking some sort of insecurity.

If they can read and write English, everything is pretty easy and intuitive in the West. Things like getting a license, opening a bank account, applying for business license, health insurance, taxes, paying bills.. it is all done electronically these days and in a way that is overly simplified sort of how you take the iphone out of the box and everything is already setup and works with very little effort.

[Ajaan]

Most Thais seem to be reasonably happy in the USA but my wife only eats Thai food and it can be very hard at times because she literally has to cook every single meal she eats so she spends 5 hours a day cooking and washing dishes. I try to buy her farang food every now and then and it usually results in me being yelled at.

Haha, I'd yell at you if you tried to feed me take-out farang food as opposed to home-cooked Thai!!

[Ajaan]

I would think there was more crime in Thailand than the West.

Are you SERIOUS?! WAAAAY more crime in the US than Thailand, hands-down! Thailand is one of the safest places I've been...and Bangkok is hands-down the safest large city on the planet...no place even comes close.

[Lancelot]

From what I gather it is much more difficult for Thais in general to integrate into the US, then it is for foreigners to transition to living in Thailand.

Perhaps because Thais are so social, and the US cities are not that friendly at all, with crime and not being trustful of strangers and what have you (Especially large cities like NY or LA).

I disagree.

Most Westerners in Thailand do not integrate well at all- most can not speak, read or write Thai at even a basic level. I often see Westerners at Immigration, their Thai spouse leading them around like children...

LA has a huge Thai population, from Wiki:Los Angeles has the largest Thai population outside of Thailand. Roughly 80,000 of California's estimated 120,000 Thai Americans live in Los Angeles.

I maintain that most Thais integrate far better into US/Western society than we westerner's do in Thailand. Most Western governments are more welcoming as well, granting permanent residence and/or citizenship. How many Westerners have Thai Residency/Citizenship? A tiny fraction compared to that extended by Western Governments to Thais. At best, we exist here on a annual extension of stay, nothing more...

PS- Have you even been to the USA?

[Doc46]

Most Thais seem to be reasonably happy in the USA but my wife only eats Thai food and it can be very hard at times because she literally has to cook every single meal she eats so she spends 5 hours a day cooking and washing dishes. I try to buy her farang food every now and then and it usually results in me being yelled at.

Shes a brat...like a child.

You should trade up to a new model.

Hard to blame someone for their dietary preferences.

Wow what a lot of nonsense ;;;She could just try ;;;;not yell;;;; kick her butt

[NoshowJones]

Most Thais seem to be reasonably happy in the USA but my wife only eats Thai food and it can be very hard at times because she literally has to cook every single meal she eats so she spends 5 hours a day cooking and washing dishes. I try to buy her farang food every now and then and it usually results in me being yelled at.

Shes a brat...like a child.

You should trade up to a new model.

Hard to blame someone for their dietary preferences.

I think Iamsobad is referring to being yelled at, not the fact he sometimes buys her Farang food. I have been with Mrs Possum now for eight years, we have had very few ups and downs, and I certainly do not ever recall her yelling at me. I will never accept anyone yelling at me, and I try my hardest not to give them reason to.

[farang000999]

She won't literally yell at me that was just a figure of speech. But I will get a look. That is what marriage is, for me at least. A series of looks and sighs. Words spoken internally. Carry on.

Edited February 14, 2014 by farang000999

[NoshowJones]

I would think there was more crime in Thailand than the West.

I would say there is much, much more crime in the UK (I cannot refer to other countries) than in Thailand. For one thing, I can walk the streets in safety here.

[farang000999]

I can recall off the top of my head news stories of several farang who have been stabbed to death in the middle of Thai streets... and that is just the smidgen of what actually gets reported on in the press. I think you will have to clarify that statement.

[thhMan]

Most Thais seem to be reasonably happy in the USA but my wife only eats Thai food and it can be very hard at times because she literally has to cook every single meal she eats so she spends 5 hours a day cooking and washing dishes. I try to buy her farang food every now and then and it usually results in me being yelled at.

My wife eats mostly Thai food also, Lucky for as we have Two Asian markets with in 5 miles from our home, and good for me I love Thai food.

Western food is difficult for them,they are used to spicy food with a lot of flavor, My wife always complains that the food I make has no taste, and I can understand that.

Spicy food with a lot of flavor? Just throw fish sauce and a kilo of chillis into any food.

Thai food is the laziest cooking in the world. 5 mins and its all done...

Maybe your wife is hinting at your cooking skills...

[wym]

From what I gather it is much more difficult for Thais in general to integrate into the US, then it is for foreigners to transition to living in Thailand.

Perhaps because Thais are so social, and the US cities are not that friendly at all, with crime and not being trustful of strangers and what have you (Especially large cities like NY or LA).

I disagree.

Most Westerners in Thailand do not integrate well at all- most can not speak, read or write Thai at even a basic level. I often see Westerners at Immigration, their Thai spouse leading them around like children...

LA has a huge Thai population, from Wiki:Los Angeles has the largest Thai population outside of Thailand. Roughly 80,000 of California's estimated 120,000 Thai Americans live in Los Angeles.

I maintain that most Thais integrate far better into US/Western society than we westerner's do in Thailand. Most Western governments are more welcoming as well, granting permanent residence and/or citizenship. How many Westerners have Thai Residency/Citizenship? A tiny fraction compared to that extended by Western Governments to Thais. At best, we exist here on a annual extension of stay, nothing more...

PS- Have you even been to the USA?

I think you're right in that the US makes it much easier for foreigners to integrate.

However I think the reason westerners don't actually integrate here as well as immigrants back home is that they can't be bothered, don't see themselves as immigrants, more like visitors who just happen to still be here decades later.

And as can be seen from so many threads here, many expect their host country to adopt their "universal" values, speak their language, meet their expectations, actually learning the language properly and adapting themselves to fit into the local mores seems to be beneath them - or simply beyond their capabilities.

Exceptions noted of course.

And acknowledging that many Thai immigrants overseas resist integration no matter how easy it might be, and food is of course a major sticking point. There's a reason the Thais like to cluster together.

My sister in law is in a small coastal town in northern Norway, population < 12,000. There are well over 200 Thais there!