Dowry

[transam]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

I can't get my head round you buying a truck for a girl friends family........

How did/were you put in that position to do so ?

LOVE makes people do crazy thing.

Perhaps more like LUST in the OP's case.............

[Somsrisonphimai]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

I can't get my head round you buying a truck for a girl friends family........

How did/were you put in that position to do so ?

LOVE makes people do crazy thing.

Perhaps more like LUST in the OP's case.............

Maybe so, that is why OP should go full speed the second times around, why stop now?

[HeavyDrinker]

Oh for the Love of God, Please Nooooooooooooooooo.........

[HalcyonDays]

Now the new Thai girl of my dreams wants us to get married ( we have been together for 15 months). I have promised to marry her before October so I asked her today what was expected of me (knowing in my mind there is no way I am paying any dowry). She replied the family would expect money and gold. My immediate reply was there is no way I am paying anything as I do not believe in buying a girl from the family.

I am 99% sure my mind is made up.

You've answered your own question. What was her reaction when you said no?

[Scottythai]

Though this topic makes me snicker a bit I suppose it happens quite often. Now that I am thinking about getting married to the GF it seemed the right question to ask. First the answer was nominal a bit of gold and some cash for show. But after the last bit of time together her mother said she would be happy with just knowing we are together and I didn't have to pay a thing. Not sure if there is a catch or not but hey it was a nice thing to say for sure.

[Sayonarax]

I have already been there and lost money, after marrying the Thai girl of my dreams and finally getting married and paying the dowry ( ok not a big fortune) she left me after only 2 weeks and the family ended up with a new motorcycle at my expense. But that is history. Now the new Thai girl of my dreams wants us to get married ( we have been together for 15 months). I have promised to marry her before October so I asked her today what was expected of me (knowing in my mind there is no way I am paying any dowry). She replied the family would expect money and gold. My immediate reply was there is no way I am paying anything as I do not believe in buying a girl from the family. I do already support the family by paying the monthly payments on the shiny pickup parked at their house. I know their are many ways to look at this problem but I am English and things are the opposite there and the father of the Bride is supposed to pay everything. I could risk losing my girlfriend over this but I have my pride and my views. I know this subject has been dealt with many times but we all have our opinions about what is right in this situation. But I would appreciate the views of other TV members but I am 99% sure my mind is made up. I may add that I have no need to get married again as I have a bad track record with marriages - my first wife has been certified mentally ill, my second wife died in a motor accident and you know what happened to my Thai bride so by getting married again it could end up with disaster as my daughter keeps telling me. So why should I get married and risk losing a wife and a dowry as well. Keithkarmann

You sound like an honest sincere guy, Keith.

Stick to your guns.

Unless your fiancé is a corn-fed Uni-graduated virgin, do NOT be blackmailed into this thing.

Respect yourself.

You won't find what you are looking for with this family.

And, YES. I am insisting on sinsot for my own daughter.

And Keith I'll go so far as to say "Call me a hypocrite but Keith would be the first to agree that he'd never be eligible to marry my daughter"

"Sometimes, 'fuggedabowdit' just means fuggedabowdit."

hahaha the corn fed uni virgin is funny..

As for your daughter, good luck with getting sin sot as a white man. Double standards make you a hypocrite.

[Sayonarax]

I have zero reason to marry a Thai girl and think you're mad paying your girlfriends parents car payments.

The only person i would consider paying bill's for would be my mother or father.

But then again, my parents arn't stupid enough to buy something worth more than yearly income.

Edited February 21, 2014 by Sayonarax

[h90]

I don't know anyone who paid something.....beside some conservative families, where he handed of money and got a car/house/land etc which is more in value.

Or give money just symbolic and get it back.

[benalibina]

Though this topic makes me snicker a bit I suppose it happens quite often. Now that I am thinking about getting married to the GF it seemed the right question to ask. First the answer was nominal a bit of gold and some cash for show. But after the last bit of time together her mother said she would be happy with just knowing we are together and I didn't have to pay a thing. Not sure if there is a catch or not but hey it was a nice thing to say for sure.

Mindgames by future MIL ?

[transam]

I have zero reason to marry a Thai girl and think you're mad paying your girlfriends car payments.

The only person i would consider paying bill's for would be my mother or father.

But then again, my parents are stupid enough to buy something worth more than yearly income.

Hmmmmmm, your parents are eh. Good luck with that.........

[Sayonarax]

I have zero reason to marry a Thai girl and think you're mad paying your girlfriends car payments.

The only person i would consider paying bill's for would be my mother or father.

But then again, my parents are stupid enough to buy something worth more than yearly income.

Hmmmmmm, your parents are eh. Good luck with that.........

Sometimes my brain types faster than my fingers..

[Donnie Brasco]

I have already been there and lost money, after marrying the Thai girl of my dreams and finally getting married and paying the dowry ( ok not a big fortune) she left me after only 2 weeks and the family ended up with a new motorcycle at my expense. But that is history. Now the new Thai girl of my dreams wants us to get married ( we have been together for 15 months). I have promised to marry her before October so I asked her today what was expected of me (knowing in my mind there is no way I am paying any dowry). She replied the family would expect money and gold. My immediate reply was there is no way I am paying anything as I do not believe in buying a girl from the family. I do already support the family by paying the monthly payments on the shiny pickup parked at their house. I know their are many ways to look at this problem but I am English and things are the opposite there and the father of the Bride is supposed to pay everything. I could risk losing my girlfriend over this but I have my pride and my views. I know this subject has been dealt with many times but we all have our opinions about what is right in this situation. But I would appreciate the views of other TV members but I am 99% sure my mind is made up. I may add that I have no need to get married again as I have a bad track record with marriages - my first wife has been certified mentally ill, my second wife died in a motor accident and you know what happened to my Thai bride so by getting married again it could end up with disaster as my daughter keeps telling me. So why should I get married and risk losing a wife and a dowry as well. Keithkarmann

You sound like an honest sincere guy, Keith.

Stick to your guns.

Unless your fiancé is a corn-fed Uni-graduated virgin, do NOT be blackmailed into this thing.

Respect yourself.

You won't find what you are looking for with this family.

And, YES. I am insisting on sinsot for my own daughter.

And Keith I'll go so far as to say "Call me a hypocrite but Keith would be the first to agree that he'd never be eligible to marry my daughter"

"Sometimes, 'fuggedabowdit' just means fuggedabowdit."

hahaha the corn fed uni virgin is funny..

As for your daughter, good luck with getting sin sot as a white man. Double standards make you a hypocrite.

You've just revealed your ignorance of the class system in play here in Thailand.

Good luck with that one-size-fits-all broad-brush stuff.

Did you even bother to read Keith's post ?

"Sometimes, 'fuggedabowdit' just means fuggedabowdit."

[Scottythai]

Though this topic makes me snicker a bit I suppose it happens quite often. Now that I am thinking about getting married to the GF it seemed the right question to ask. First the answer was nominal a bit of gold and some cash for show. But after the last bit of time together her mother said she would be happy with just knowing we are together and I didn't have to pay a thing. Not sure if there is a catch or not but hey it was a nice thing to say for sure.

Mindgames by future MIL ?

Hmm maybe some form of Jedi / MIL mind tricks! Or maybe she sees a guy with a condo in BKK and a Town House in CM who is just likes her daughter... Time will tell!

[FiftyTwo]

Thai way

Do nothing, don't say no, don't say yes, don't argue or discuss.

Enjoy the sex with this girl while it lasts, enjoy the sex with the new girl when this one clears off.

Sex in exchange for pickup payments is a good thing, it ensures regular sex.

[larsjohnsson]

I don't know anyone who paid something.....beside some conservative families, where he handed of money and got a car/house/land etc which is more in value.

Or give money just symbolic and get it back.

Good luck with getting the money back

Sent from my GT-I9152 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[wym]

In my case whatever was agreed to in advance, was fully delivered immediately after the ceremony.

In most cases would be to a joint account for the both of you, but you could try to negotiate for cash back into your own pocket.

[Scarpolo]

OP, assuming you have been living together for the duration of your relationship (15 months), what does marriage really mean? Again, assuming the GF is Thai and following a different religion to you, what does marriage really mean? It is 2014 (2557), times are changing and views on marriage are changing also.

Some posters are suggesting that you dump her and look for someone else, IMHO, easier said than done as you obviously have feelings for the girl if you have been together for 15 months. If you are both happy, leave it the way it is. If the reason is to simplify visas or whatever, the two of you go on holiday and get married quietly without the family involvement, they will forgive after a time if the love for the daughter is true.

If the girl really loves you, she won't push it.

Precisley what I said the the girl I am with today.

If your mother wants money and gold, I want an 18 year old, not a 33 year old, so, sorry.

Your mother can either pay for the wedding, or not come,

I of course have not bothered to tell her that in America, when the milk is free, we do not buy the cow

[Scarpolo]

Don't pay a bloody thing, you have known her for under two years! Getting involved in a payment for a truck was a staggering balls up on your part.

I would ride off into the sunset because this sounds like it's going only one way, down the u - bend.

I would ride off, in the truck

this is all crazy talk, why do guys do this?

gosh, another thread that requires the input of my friend Rich Glauber, veteran of Thai and Cambodian females of all shapes and sizes,

unlike myself,

Edited February 21, 2014 by Scarpolo

[mogandave]

It is my understanding that the groom give the parents a giff the the parents of the bride, to thank them for taking care of his wife, until he was able to take care of her himself.

How much the bride can get for here parents is a source of pride for her.

If you truly love a woman, why would you want to cheat her out of that?

[Scarpolo]

It is my understanding that the groom give the parents a giff the the parents of the bride, to thank them for taking care of his wife, until he was able to take care of her himself.

How much the bride can get for here parents is a source of pride for her.

If you truly love a woman, why would you want to cheat her out of that?

shouldnt there be an age limit for that?

and my g/f is already paying with her ass to her mother,

how much more does that mother deserve?

the whipping post, I would say

[wym]

You keep talking about your own personal situation here.

You're right, few Thais would think you should marry a sex worker in the first place, much less pay the sin sot.

Some people go so far as to say if she's not a virgin you don't have to pay, which is ridiculous.

If she's got kids you're planning on accepting and supporting then there's a stronger case, I haven't seen many Thais do that either.

No age limit though, plenty of respectable women get married well into their thirties these days and among the hi-so, sin sot of millions are routine.

The wealthier her family and the higher educated and more respected her profession the higher the price. Also depends on the wealth of the groom - and THAT's where I think the culture clash really comes in.

Bottom line most poor families feel - if he's not wealthy to the point that this piddly amount is an issue for him, then move on and find a more deserving guy.

Edited February 21, 2014 by wym

[Lucifer]

I think you'll find the OP has made the whole thing up to take the urine out of you all.

[Skint]

OP you are as well walking around with your pants down so anyone can rattle you

[wym]

I also think quite likely, very very rare for a girl to run away that quickly after marrying a farang sin sot or no.

Very common among local "shotgun" weddings though.

But who cares, good discussion anyway, help support TV's ad revenues, all to a good cause.

[Scarpolo]

You keep talking about your own personal situation here.

You're right, few Thais would think you should marry a sex worker in the first place, much less pay the sin sot.

Some people go so far as to say if she's not a virgin you don't have to pay, which is ridiculous.

If she's got kids you're planning on accepting and supporting then there's a stronger case, I haven't seen many Thais do that either.

No age limit though, plenty of respectable women get married well into their thirties these days and among the hi-so, sin sot of millions are routine.

The wealthier her family and the higher educated and more respected her profession the higher the price. Also depends on the wealth of the groom - and THAT's where I think the culture clash really comes in.

Bottom line most poor families feel - if he's not wealthy to the point that this piddly amount is an issue for him, then move on and find a more deserving guy.

Actually,

you make a lot of sense:

[Loptr]

I really don't understand the rational of someone who has been married 3 times and considering a 4th time... The OP himself says he's unlucky in marriage, so why go down that path again...

In my mind the only reason to get married is if you plan on having children...

If you are true to yourself, then you should only be involved with people that enhance your life, not suck it dry...

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Edited February 21, 2014 by Loptr

[wym]

What's wrong with having been married many times? A marriage ending isn't a failure

In my mind the only reason to get married is if you plan on having children...

How about - you want to feel connected with a person you love and to grow with that person emotionally, a willingness to be there for one another while you each fulfill your own needs and dreams.

A few others:

visas, ability to bring her home or travel together to the more restrictive countries

because she's wealthy

tax benefits

top one for me - because that's the only way her parents will allow her to sleep with you

[AlexRRR]

Yeah? sin sod is designed to extract precious paper from a foreigners pocket, actually its in place because of the power of the pussy, men will pay to get into it.

I think its amazing how many Thai women live years with a Thai guy and not marry, it also amazes me how traditional Thai women get when there dating a farang.

Why are you making payments for dads pick up?

You know what? if i was going to pay sin sod for a beautiful Thai girl id expect that she would be worth paying for, as one former TGF said to me when she was trying to show me what i was getting for my money, you get an educated woman with a masters degree with well paid job working in a multi national company under 30 and a virgin when i met you,, now she had a strong case.

[mogandave]

And it's not like only falangs pay, Thais pay as well.

By paying sin-sot, you are also showing the bride and her parents you can support her.

It's hard to love on an empty stomach.

[larsjohnsson]

It is my understanding that the groom give the parents a giff the the parents of the bride, to thank them for taking care of his wife, until he was able to take care of her himself.

How much the bride can get for here parents is a source of pride for her.

If you truly love a woman, why would you want to cheat her out of that?

And you belive the parents are taking care of the 33 year old girl

Sent from my GT-I9152 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app