larsjohnsson Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 (edited) And it's not like only falangs pay, Thais pay as well. By paying sin-sot, you are also showing the bride and her parents you can support her. It's hard to love on an empty stomach. He have already done it once. And the girl run away two weeks after he paid 25 years from today, nobody will do it. And meny/most Thais also understand that and don't do it today. The Farangs that have paid for their own Thai wife, like other Farangs to follow them. It makes them feel better about it. Sent from my GT-I9152 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app Edited February 22, 2014 by larsjohnsson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David48 Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 I mean no disrespect but why would anyone promise to marry the other? <snip> I've promised to marry my other half ... a Thai Girl ... and proud to have made that promise. She gave up her 12 year job with an International company based on the outskirts of Bangkok to come visit and stay in my country. For us, Family is more important then Marriage ... we've just TWINS which is an amazing experience for both of us. Marriage is promised ... but a few years in the Future. General advice should be Generally accepted as being General in nature. Your mileage may differ from ours. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiftyTwo Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 Yeah? sin sod is designed to extract precious paper from a foreigners pocket, actually its in place because of the power of the pussy, men will pay to get into it. I think its amazing how many Thai women live years with a Thai guy and not marry, it also amazes me how traditional Thai women get when there dating a farang. Why are you making payments for dads pick up? You know what? if i was going to pay sin sod for a beautiful Thai girl id expect that she would be worth paying for, as one former TGF said to me when she was trying to show me what i was getting for my money, you get an educated woman with a masters degree with well paid job working in a multi national company under 30 and a virgin when i met you,, now she had a strong case. The hole in her case being, she was no longer a virgin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiftyTwo Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 (edited) I mean no disrespect but why would anyone promise to marry the other? <snip> I've promised to marry my other half ... a Thai Girl ... and proud to have made that promise. She gave up her 12 year job with an International company based on the outskirts of Bangkok to come visit and stay in my country. For us, Family is more important then Marriage ... we've just TWINS which is an amazing experience for both of us. Marriage is promised ... but a few years in the Future. General advice should be Generally accepted as being General in nature. Your mileage may differ from ours. Just pointing out what everyone seems to have forgotten. Bogus religious ceremony in village with money, gold and party is not marriage. Signing a paper at the Amphur office for 30bht is marriage. @David Not married and have twins, I thought you were more sensible than this. You have no parental rights over the twins at all in Thailand, get married tomorrow <deleted>. Edited February 22, 2014 by FiftyTwo 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Somsrisonphimai Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 Thai way Do nothing, don't say no, don't say yes, don't argue or discuss. Enjoy the sex with this girl while it lasts, enjoy the sex with the new girl when this one clears off. Sex in exchange for pickup payments is a good thing, it ensures regular sex. So what happens when the money runs out? Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZAKY Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 Dowry is not thai, its not in the thai tradition, it has only been invented for the falangs Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 Thai way Do nothing, don't say no, don't say yes, don't argue or discuss. Enjoy the sex with this girl while it lasts, enjoy the sex with the new girl when this one clears off. Sex in exchange for pickup payments is a good thing, it ensures regular sex. So what happens when the money runs out? Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand Or they stop making Viagra............... ............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZAKY Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 Yes that is the question!!! Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Somsrisonphimai Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 Thai way Do nothing, don't say no, don't say yes, don't argue or discuss. Enjoy the sex with this girl while it lasts, enjoy the sex with the new girl when this one clears off. Sex in exchange for pickup payments is a good thing, it ensures regular sex. So what happens when the money runs out?Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand Or they stop making Viagra............... ............. Mrs. Tran might be in trouble, 555. Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 Thai way Do nothing, don't say no, don't say yes, don't argue or discuss. Enjoy the sex with this girl while it lasts, enjoy the sex with the new girl when this one clears off. Sex in exchange for pickup payments is a good thing, it ensures regular sex. So what happens when the money runs out?Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand Or they stop making Viagra............... ............. Mrs. Tran might be in trouble, 555. Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand Noooooooooo, that would cheer her up.............. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Somsrisonphimai Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 Thai wayDo nothing, don't say no, don't say yes, don't argue or discuss. Enjoy the sex with this girl while it lasts, enjoy the sex with the new girl when this one clears off. Sex in exchange for pickup payments is a good thing, it ensures regular sex. So what happens when the money runs out?Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand Or they stop making Viagra............... ............. Mrs. Tran might be in trouble, 555. Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand Noooooooooo, that would cheer her up.............. I know she is skill enough who can get you up... Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David48 Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 I've promised to marry my other half ... a Thai Girl ... and proud to have made that promise.She gave up her 12 year job with an International company based on the outskirts of Bangkok to come visit and stay in my country.For us, Family is more important then Marriage ... we've just TWINS which is an amazing experience for both of us. Marriage is promised ... but a few years in the Future. General advice should be Generally accepted as being General in nature. Your mileage may differ from ours. @David Not married and have twins, I thought you were more sensible than this. You have no parental rights over the twins at all in Thailand, get married tomorrow <deleted>. @ 52 ... I hearing you, but to be honest, I don't hold on that tight. Not a blasé attitude, just based on mutual trust. But I know our mileages are definitely different. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wym Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 Just pointing out what everyone seems to have forgotten. Bogus religious ceremony in village with money, gold and party is not marriage. Signing a paper at the Amphur office for 30bht is marriage. The latter is civil, only required for legal or financial purposes, many reasons to do the former not the latter. If it's the village one that gets you the girl, and you don't want the legal complications why not skip the latter? Many wealthy Thais do, have children and all, including the current PM. Stop telling people what is marriage and what isn't, up to them and their culture, not the law. Dowry is not thai, its not in the thai tradition, it has only been invented for the falangs That's insane, I guess you're a tourist and/or living in a farang bubble? Yeah? sin sod is designed to extract precious paper from a foreigners pocket, actually its in place because of the power of the pussy, men will pay to get into it. The latter is true and why not? The former is like the above, not at all true, 99.9999999% of sin sot payments are from Thai to Thai. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiftyTwo Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 Just pointing out what everyone seems to have forgotten. Bogus religious ceremony in village with money, gold and party is not marriage. Signing a paper at the Amphur office for 30bht is marriage. The latter is civil, only required for legal or financial purposes, many reasons to do the former not the latter. If it's the village one that gets you the girl, and you don't want the legal complications why not skip the latter? Many wealthy Thais do, have children and all, including the current PM. Stop telling people what is marriage and what isn't, up to them and their culture, not the law. International law tells us what is considered marriage and what isn't. Bogus foreigner money extraction ceremony, isn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wym Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 tells you agree to disagree, to me heart & culture trump laws, esp "int'l law" most bogus of all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarpolo Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 Yeah? sin sod is designed to extract precious paper from a foreigners pocket, actually its in place because of the power of the pussy, men will pay to get into it. I think its amazing how many Thai women live years with a Thai guy and not marry, it also amazes me how traditional Thai women get when there dating a farang. Why are you making payments for dads pick up? You know what? if i was going to pay sin sod for a beautiful Thai girl id expect that she would be worth paying for, as one former TGF said to me when she was trying to show me what i was getting for my money, you get an educated woman with a masters degree with well paid job working in a multi national company under 30 and a virgin when i met you,, now she had a strong case. Agreed, all they have to do is say they are "engaged" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EASYDOGG Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 You pay your girlfriend's parents' pick up payments. Why? Sent from my GT-S5830 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DavidMavec Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 Paying for payments on their pickup truck? Dafuq be the matter wid u boy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donmuang37 Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 I must say that the gents who recommend cancelling the truck payments to save for the sinsot have a good idea. With all due respect to the Thais, this is a bi-cultural union so the cultures of both parties should be respected. Seems like truck payments are more than generous. So methinks you would be marrying into a blood sucker family. I suspect you'll live to regret it. Besides, as the saying goes, "Why buy the cow when you get the milk for nothing?" (OK, for truck payments!) But good luck. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mudcrab Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 Points of view... 1. Long term expats who never married here " What kind of idiot would buy his wife from greedy upcountry relatives who should get jobs instead of selling their family members..." 2. Expats who paid sin sot and are living the Isan dream in an upcountry village " I paid sin sot for my lovely wife and am the happiest man in the world. This is a Thai custom, and if you want to be properly integrated into Thai culture you must pay this. Anybody who would not consider paying is simply a cheapskate......." Hey wait a minute. I have a lovely half Thai three year old daughter. Does this mean I can sell her when she is marriageable age ? Hmmmm.... Will you be asking the Thai price or the farang price? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BudRight Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 And it's not like only falangs pay, Thais pay as well. By paying sin-sot, you are also showing the bride and her parents you can support her. It's hard to love on an empty stomach. 1. Just because a Thai does something stupid does not mean that a foreigner should imitate that stupidity. 2. If you give your money to the parents that is less money to take care of her. 3. See #2. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drb Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 Hi keith Only suggestion Tell them you will pay for the pick up end of story nothing else why paying now you don't say Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
salapau Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 Why on earth are you paying for their motor ? - stop the payments and walk away you can't keep buying women. Find a city lady with her own source of income and share the expenses of living together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wolfmanjack Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 Just face the fact that even if she does really love you that's not what's important, money for her family comes first. They'll probably let you marry her without sin sot, but only if they'r sure they'll get even more on the back end. To negotiate effectively, you have to sincerely be ready to walk - are you? IMO doesn't matter as long as you are getting good value for money, and only you can ensure that, day to day month to month, the sin sot is really not the pooint, a once-off drop in the bucket. You guys do realize there are good in laws also. I did not pay sin sot and my wife's family asks me for nothing. As a matter of fact my MIL tries to give money to me but i won't take it so she gives it to my kids. She is a real sweetheart and takes my side over my wife's every time. PS. when I say they ask for nothing I mean financially. They do ask for me to bring the kids up for a visit but I do not count that as getting money on the back end. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
realenglish1 Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 (edited) First a Sin Sod is not a given. Lots of Thai girls marry without any. It sounds like her family may think they found a mean ticket. Was she married before does she have children If that is the case then NO sin sod is necessary. Tell her the problem you have with sin sod and what happened with your ex wife taking a run. Tell her you are not Thai and do not follow those traditions. Tell her you have no problem with assisting with her family but over time as anyone would in the west. If this is unacceptable to her and or her family Guess what she looks at you as being an ATM machine If she really loves you then it will not matter.. Oh yes I do have a girlfriend of 7 years and during that time she has not asked me for anything and I mean anything. Oh yea there has been 500 or 1000 baht from time to time but in reality nothing has been asked for from her or her family Just the other day she asked me if she could borrow 15,000 baht Never happened before. So I said hear just take it No need to borrow. She never ask me. So why not This is love of you not the money. I hope she is a good one for you Edited February 23, 2014 by realenglish1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krisb Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 Keith my suggestion is give them nothing. Buying the inlaws a new 4wd is sucked in enough. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechnikaIII Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 Be kind and sound understanding. Do not loose your cool. Bust as someone else suggested, stop the payments, or at least say that you will need to if they really insist on the show of money. Then payments may resume when the cash is returned. It is originally a Chinese tradition, some time ago adopted by Thais. The money was held in trust until the couple had their first child, or was put towards the building of the couple's home. But as so many Thais are so poorly educated, they don't even know their own history. You can say that out of respect for Thai tradition, you consulted a respected Thai law firm, to ask their advice. Use Google to translate this page, ... and get a good Thai friend (if you have one) to clean up the translation, print out the original page and show it to them. (Perhaps have your bags packed ready to go) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keithkarmann Posted February 23, 2014 Author Share Posted February 23, 2014 Get burn once...a mistake. Get burn again...stupidity. for the first bride family you bought a motorbike.... for the second a car... will you go for a house next time if this wont work out? I did not buy the motorbike the family bought that when I was off the scene. As for the car payments, I do pay my girlfriend a combined salary for cooking, cleaning and for nightly comforts (daytime as well) as I do not want her to go out to work in case I need her during the day. She told me her parents were struggling financially and I agreed that she could give them money every month out of her salary for payments on the pickup and yes these payments should compensate for the lack of dowry. What annoys me most is that her father is a lazy b-----d and lays in his hammock all day while the mother does all the work around the house and looks after the small eatery next to the house. I am a good bit older than my girlfriend and most of the time we get on well. But if she threatens to leave again maybe I should just let her go. Oh yes I was going to build her a house and at some point she said what would I do if she drastically reduced my sex allowance and my reply was the house build is cancelled and she knows if there is no honey then there would be no money. I have lost money with girls in Thailand but nothing a could not handle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luk AJ Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 Dear Keith, as you know from your previous marriage a dowry is still common in Thailand. I have witnessed many Thai men paying dowry to the firls parents. So in one way or another you will have to follow these expectations. The pick up is a nice gesture but the parents will not concidder this a dowry. However you can use this during your negotiations with the parents. For them it is all about losing face, in many occasions it is agreed that part of the dowry is just "facade" and needs to be given back the same day. ( mostly the gold part). Personally I would not go for the marriage, why should you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HerbalEd Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 If you have "no need to get married" then why do it?? Sounds as if you like to punish yourself. This is Thailand ... enjoy many girls and have a great time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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