The Falang Husband

[thaihome]

Its hard to get out of the western habit with manners... I know I come across these issues in my business and personal life in thailand somewhat often. There is a big difference between what manners and being polite means in the western world to what it means in Thailand.

This describes the situation just about as well as I have ever seen.

To take it one step further, most westerners should realize that their reaction to an ethnocentric perceived show of bad manners is perceived the same way by the Asian.

On the caddie discussion, I am always so impressed with people who think they get to decide and make judgments on what other people should receive as compensation for what is a really shitting job they would not do themselves.

TH

[KhunMarco]

On the caddie discussion, I am always so impressed with people who think they get to decide and make judgments on what other people should receive as compensation for what is a really shitting job they would not do themselves.

TH

It seems around here someone is a bit thick or willingly avoid to read the previous posts just to make his point.

If you read mine and the poster who first talked about caddies with a mobile. you'll see we are not discussing about the amount of the tips or the salary, we are discussing about giving a tip when a service is not delivered as it 's supposed to be.

Would you give a tip to a waiter who keeps talking to his mobile while on "duty" in your home country?

So what's the difference here?

Comparing a western salary to a Thai salary as an excuse for this bad service is just stupid and smells of complex of superiority.

I bet this caddies wouldn't dare to do the same thing with a Thai customer.

Tipping inappropriately or overtipping is as wrong as not tipping when due.

Edited June 2, 2006 by KhunMarco

[Sakeopete]

I get a kick out of how my wife uses me to save face. A little about myself, I have lived in the LOS for 5 years now. I'm a the quiet family type not into drinking and womanizing. We have a home in the country and I enjoy the lifestyle. My wifes family is great they never ask for anything and I don't mind taking care of a bit of expenses like food and electric bills. The neighbors on the otherhand are always trying to get something either money or borrow our farming tools.

Every week someone is asking for a loan, use of our tractor or a ride into the city etc. The great thing for my wife is being able to say no, as per my sentiment (Samee no like) thereby she saves face and the villagers understand because I'm a falang. Some of her well off Thai friends wish they had a falang as an instument to save face. Have a nice week everyone!

http://www.karamanosfamily.com

Just the day before yesterday I heared a lot noise downstair, actually I thought it is an tsunami, earthquake and hurrican at the same time.

Later I asked and my wife told a "friend" asked for borrowing money, she got extremly loud, to guarantee that everyone can hear it, what I understood was something like

we are not the bank

try working instead of sitting lazy arround

look me, I work since half day, we shall give someone like you money

never enough for life......

And so on 15 minutes, shouting.

(explanation, my wife is half chinese half southern.

Usually this is working for two weeks than the next try to borrow money usually comes.

LOL thats another way to get rid of the pests

[CymruAmByth]

On the caddie discussion, I am always so impressed with people who think they get to decide and make judgments on what other people should receive as compensation for what is a really shitting job they would not do themselves.

TH

It seems around here someone is a bit thick or willingly avoid to read the previous posts just to make his point.

If you read mine and the poster who first talked about caddies with a mobile. you'll see we are not discussing about the amount of the tips or the salary, we are discussing about giving a tip when a service is not delivered as it 's supposed to be.

Would you give a tip to a waiter who keeps talking to his mobile while on "duty" in your home country?

So what's the difference here?

Comparing a western salary to a Thai salary as an excuse for this bad service is just stupid and smells of complex of superiority.

I bet this caddies wouldn't dare to do the same thing with a Thai customer.

Tipping inappropriately or overtipping is as wrong as not tipping when due.

Speaking of "thick" people...take a look in the mirror!

There is only 1 person here comparing Salaries and using maths to justify their argument - YOU! Therefore, you must be guilty of a "complex of superiority".

Please don't use inciteful words like "thick" just because we don't agree with your own opinions. I would not dream of using the word "tight" when speaking about your good self...would I?

[Sakeopete]

I used to tip my golf caddy 200 baht - a great tip of 70%. They never thanked me so I started giving 100. 3 of them asked for more so now they get bugger all. If you're giving away free tellies and getting no thanks, remember and don't do it again.

The worst one was when I bought 6 baht of gold for my wife when we ere getting married. I handed over cash to the woman in the shop and she didn't even look at me, but waied my wife. On the way out, as I realised I was getting no thanks I told them exactly what I thought of them - I was fuming.

I must say that my golf caddies have all thanked me with a wai and kap kun ka. The only ones I don't tip are the ones who talk on there cells or to each other while I'm prepairing to swing.

I have played over a 100 rounds of golf in my 3 years here and I cannot believe what I am reading!

You seriously DON'T give a tip of a mere 200 baht to a WOMAN who has dragged your sorry arse around a golf course for the thick end of 5 hours...just because she uses her phone!

If it is putting you off your obviously life-threatening game of golf, then why not just ask politely for them to stop using their phones? Either way, I am flabbergasted by these statements.

Before you rant back, I play off a 3 handicap, therefore ONE inappropriately timed phone call by a caddie usually wipes out my whole allowance for the round...but there are bigger things in life to worry about than this! My guess is you are playing off an 18+ handicap (on a good day) as these types seem more prone to apportioning blame to an innocent bystander - the caddie - than the fact their swing is like an octupus falling out of a tree!

Wow I didn't know handicap was used to measure a person’s expectation of service or are you just using this thread to brag? To clear things for you the course I'm talking about is a nine hole military course I play about 2-3 times a week alone or with my 10 y/o. I don't know about you but even PGA pro's get upset if someone starts making a bunch of noise while they swing. Also I'm not talking about the caddy receiving a call I'm taking about making them or having loud conversation and not even bothering look where the ball went. I'm sure you will state that you’re such an accomplished golfer that you never have a drive leave the fairway. If so you should be giving Tiger Woods a run for his money. If I were to tip the caddies for being unprofessional it would only spread to the rest of them at the course. I'm sure I tip the good ones generously my wife tells me that sometimes they fight for the right to caddie for me 2 hours = 200 baht.

Edited June 2, 2006 by Sakeopete

[KhunMarco]

Ok you are not thick

Let's see together:

The post that prompted your response:

I must say that my golf caddies have all thanked me with a wai and kap kun ka. The only ones I don't tip are the ones who talk on there cells or to each other while I'm prepairing to swing.

your response:

I have played over a 100 rounds of golf in my 3 years here and I cannot believe what I am reading!

You seriously DON'T give a tip of a mere 200 baht to a WOMAN who has dragged your sorry arse around a golf course for the thick end of 5 hours...just because she uses her phone!

If it is putting you off your obviously life-threatening game of golf, then why not just ask politely for them to stop using their phones? Either way, I am flabbergasted by these statements.

my post:

Another rich farang which keep thinking in $. 200 baht is nothing for you , but it's good money for a Thai, they are paid to do that work, if they don't do that work and instead talk with their mobile, are they doing their job?

Tipping inappropriately make things more difficult for those who will come later!

your response:

snip...

and lugging a huge golf bag around over a 5 hour period for 200thb (actually it is only about 175thb because the golf course owners make them pay for their own uniforms).

If you think 200thb is in ANY WAY inappropriate for 5 hours work...God help anyone providing a service to you and expecting a tip!

you already forgot we are talking about a bad service

my post:

You response, just proves my point.

Did you know a maid earns 3500-5000 baht a month (depending on the area you live) to scrub your floor 6 days a week or a bank clerk earns 7000-9000 a month.

Plus here we are talking about a tip which is added to the "regular" salary the worker already receives.

Above I tried to remember you, we were talking about a bad service and tried to point out that a tip (we were talking about a tip..remember?) of 200 bath is not peanuts for the avg. Thai worker

your response:

Maths! What a wonderful method of proving a point (for you obviously).

OK...lets say a caddie works 30 days a month - actually they generally work every other day - but seeing as you wish to use maths, lets do it together!

175thb x 30 = 5,250thb. What a fantastic wage! Way above that of a maid!

And yes...they are happy to see me because I treat them with the respect anyone acting as a pack horse should receive. Anything wrong with that?

Yet again you don't get it, we are talking about a bad service, they are the first to show you a lack of respect

here i give up:

no worries mate, one day you'll get it whistling.gif

My response to the poster who seems to have your same problem.

If you read mine and the poster who first talked about caddies with a mobile. you'll see we are not discussing about the amount of the tips or the salary, we are discussing about giving a tip when a service is not delivered as it 's supposed to be.

Would you give a tip to a waiter who keeps talking to his mobile while on "duty" in your home country?

So what's the difference here?

Comparing a western salary to a Thai salary as an excuse for this bad service is just stupid and smells of complex of superiority.

I bet this caddies wouldn't dare to do the same thing with a Thai customer.

Tipping inappropriately or overtipping is as wrong as not tipping when due.

Trying again to point out we are talking about a bad service...yawn

your last response:

Speaking of "thick" people...take a look in the mirror!

There is only 1 person here comparing Salaries and using maths to justify their argument - YOU! Therefore, you must be guilty of a "complex of superiority".

Please don't use inciteful words like "thick" just because we don't agree with your own opinions. I would not dream of using the word "tight" when speaking about your good self...would I?

I rest my case, thanks for the enterteinment

Edited June 2, 2006 by KhunMarco

[Dakhar]

Saying thank you is not a Thai strong point, same as saying sorry.

Thanks for mentioning this point.

I recently GAVE a brand new - in the box - flatscreen TV to my staff's mother and father. Now, I must admit, I got the TV free with a UBC subscription, however what amazed me was the point blank ignorance that I was even in the room, let alone had just presented them with a replacement for the 100 year old steam-powered TV that they owned.

This is not the first time I have experienced/heard of a good natured gift or offering completely ignored by the Thai recipient.

Would it be going off topic to ask for some light-shedding on this please?

It might have been because the recipients were older than yourself. I've observed a lack of aknowledgement or gratitude when elders receive from a younger family member, business associate or friend. Maybe to do with the slight feeling of embarrassment (but also needfulness) because of the "respect" thing involved so much with age in this country. I might be wrong as I've never discussed it with a Thai.

Thanks CarlBKK, always nice to get a response.

I can see logic in your answer and it was for those reasons I guessed I was 'blanked'. It is not eating away at me, rather it makes me smile to myself in wonderment...like at 99% of most other things that happen here in this intriguing country.

I hope to be old one day (a young 41 year old at the moment) and I hope the general way in which younger people treat the 'elders' continues and I can benefit from it as time passes by.

Still...would be nice to get a pleasant "...thank you young man" when you drop a brand new TV on someone!

Give me a TV and I'll run down the street yelling praises if it makes you happy:)

Edited June 2, 2006 by Dakhar

[rcalsop]

Although I can empathise with the bad service angle of many of the reports ,for this read bad training / bad management as the root cause !!,

I cannot understand the postings refering to no thank you`s . My experience is the reverse I live and work with Thais, I am the only farang at work ( I do not speak Thai ) my team young developing junior managers ,and the direct workers 1000 of them ,have always show gratitude and thanks , they share their snacks , meals and experiences with me daily, my neighbours ( I do not live in a farang palace or near to Hi So`s ) are in general kind and sociable frequently sharing food and drink with me ...they are always feeding my kids , swapping food they have cooked ie sending a plate of food of a special receipe they have prepared .

If I walk to the shop in the moo ban it is difficult not to come back home intoxicated as I pass the houses where the neighbours are sat out side talking and smoking with a few drinks ,if I hesitate for a second or greet them I have a drink in my hand before I know it and if I actually sit down seconds later I am being fed . on occasions a simple 10 minute trip to the shops takes hours and I return well oiled and totally stuffed . Many of the neighbours are up country families in Bkk to make a living but after a few drinks the english speaking starts witha lot of fun and laughter over the mistakes ,no loss of face issues here .

Reference family... apart from 1 sister of my wife who is actively disrespectfull to me and my wife and her parents ( I have put her out of the house several times telling her that behaviour was not acceptable in my house ... this was greeted with genuine full support from the rest of the family I gained a lot of face ).

The family are always polite and say thank you . When I am travelling I will buy local prodce and specialities from farm shops ie super eggs from Lopburi all double yokers huge eggs fresh and cheap ,one tray for us 1 for her mum we I am always thanked or a favour given in return .

Perhaps it is the case of reap what ye sow .. is your attitude or non verbal language pissing other people off ???

Thailand is the land of contradictions .

The foot is considered the lowest part of the body ie no pointing ,showing the soles.... yet the best foot massage is in Thailand .

Sexual discussions can be considered taboo but well you know the rest ...

Thai food is considered very adventurous and they eat anything ..but they are the most conservative eaters ( other nations food ) I have encountered .

etcetra etcetera sorry Yule Brynner is banned !!.

Physical contact is supposed to be minimal but I have found the reverse with bum pats and arm nips, tickles and play full pokes the norm both from male and female .

Off topic a bit ... but does any one speak Thaibrow ...it is a subtle and powerfull non verbal communication tool . Punctuating ,emphasing , pointing and used as an affermation tool ( spelling )

and as a thank you and aknowledegement . Watch the eyebrows its subtle but i have just about conquered it and can now communicate using my eyebrows to the point sometimes the team think I have spoken Thai.

Sorry to disagree , and thank you ,thankyou ! thankyou for allowing me to respond ( raise eye brow indicating sarcasm) .

Can I have a tip now !!!

[elkangorito]

Although I can empathise with the bad service angle of many of the reports ,for this read bad training / bad management as the root cause !!,

I cannot understand the postings refering to no thank you`s . My experience is the reverse I live and work with Thais, I am the only farang at work ( I do not speak Thai ) my team young developing junior managers ,and the direct workers 1000 of them ,have always show gratitude and thanks , they share their snacks , meals and experiences with me daily, my neighbours ( I do not live in a farang palace or near to Hi So`s ) are in general kind and sociable frequently sharing food and drink with me ...they are always feeding my kids , swapping food they have cooked ie sending a plate of food of a special receipe they have prepared .

If I walk to the shop in the moo ban it is difficult not to come back home intoxicated as I pass the houses where the neighbours are sat out side talking and smoking with a few drinks ,if I hesitate for a second or greet them I have a drink in my hand before I know it and if I actually sit down seconds later I am being fed . on occasions a simple 10 minute trip to the shops takes hours and I return well oiled and totally stuffed . Many of the neighbours are up country families in Bkk to make a living but after a few drinks the english speaking starts witha lot of fun and laughter over the mistakes ,no loss of face issues here .

Reference family... apart from 1 sister of my wife who is actively disrespectfull to me and my wife and her parents ( I have put her out of the house several times telling her that behaviour was not acceptable in my house ... this was greeted with genuine full support from the rest of the family I gained a lot of face ).

The family are always polite and say thank you . When I am travelling I will buy local prodce and specialities from farm shops ie super eggs from Lopburi all double yokers huge eggs fresh and cheap ,one tray for us 1 for her mum we I am always thanked or a favour given in return .

Perhaps it is the case of reap what ye sow .. is your attitude or non verbal language pissing other people off ???

Thailand is the land of contradictions .

The foot is considered the lowest part of the body ie no pointing ,showing the soles.... yet the best foot massage is in Thailand .

Sexual discussions can be considered taboo but well you know the rest ...

Thai food is considered very adventurous and they eat anything ..but they are the most conservative eaters ( other nations food ) I have encountered .

etcetra etcetera sorry Yule Brynner is banned !!.

Physical contact is supposed to be minimal but I have found the reverse with bum pats and arm nips, tickles and play full pokes the norm both from male and female .

Off topic a bit ... but does any one speak Thaibrow ...it is a subtle and powerfull non verbal communication tool . Punctuating ,emphasing , pointing and used as an affermation tool ( spelling )

and as a thank you and aknowledegement . Watch the eyebrows its subtle but i have just about conquered it and can now communicate using my eyebrows to the point sometimes the team think I have spoken Thai.

Sorry to disagree , and thank you ,thankyou ! thankyou for allowing me to respond ( raise eye brow indicating sarcasm) .

Can I have a tip now !!!

Your experience has also been, by & large, my experience in Thailand. The 'good' points far outway the 'bad' points. Almost all the Thai people whom I've met, have bent over forwards & backwards to be hospitable to me...so much so (& like you) that I have been summarily dragged around this beautiful country many times at no expense to myself, gone for a 'quiet' drink & ended up having the worlds biggest & friendliest pissup, gone with a Thai friend to help out with something & ended up 500kms away having a party with some really wonderful people...these were great times & experiences but I was really exhausted after these events. I think I know how you feel.

Notwithstanding all this, I still hope that the wonderfully crazy 'live in the moment' Thais will still keep me involved in their instantaneous lives. It beats the h_el.l out of my old life.

I've met quite a few falangs who have done nothing but spew forth negativities of their 'chosen' Thai life. Afterwards, I reflect upon their situation & attitude, & I think I can see something in them that the 'positive' falangs don't seem to have...that is, a seemingly angry look on their face, a generally courser tone of voice & a more offensive (as opposed to defensive) demeanour.

I realise that my observations are 'simplistic' but nonetheless, they are my observations.

[Sing_Sling]

My observation just from last week:

Pay for dinners, lunches, petrol etc . . . No 'thank you' received

Buy somehting for someone in particular . . . Thank you received

It does seem to be case with 'older' Thais that they take receiving something as a gift for granted.

And to the ongoing Golf discussion: Can't remember and don't care whihc side of the discussion this poster was on, but it went something like this;

Just as an aside - and I know we are WAAAAAY off topic - but my Aussie buddy, who was returning home to Sydney after 2 years here, spent 4 hours in Thaniya Plaza trying to buy a golf trolley/pull-cart until he realized why he could not find one anywhere...NOBODY IS STUPID ENOUGH TO DO IT THEMSELVES HERE!

. . . and just before this you were raving about fat <deleted> . . . Well, some of us may actually still think of golf as a bit more than sitting/driving - walking two feet - hit ball - sit/drive.

So, who is the fat arse and who is stupid?

Arguing about 200baht being a pittance for this job is ludicrous. Wo are you to denigrate people who earn 200baht for a 2-hour job?

Edited June 4, 2006 by Sing_Sling

[OlRedEyes]

Pay for dinners, lunches, petrol etc . . . No 'thank you' received

Buy somehting for someone in particular . . . Thank you received

My experience is mixed as well. I don't hold doors open for anyone anymore, except my wife. Wanna walk through without even a glance of recognition? Well then let it slam in your dam_n face.

Giving my mother-in-law something. No immediate verbal thank you, but some special treatment soon follows as a thank you

Edited June 4, 2006 by OlRedEyes

[Sing_Sling]

Pay for dinners, lunches, petrol etc . . . No 'thank you' received

Buy somehting for someone in particular . . . Thank you received

My experience is mixed as well. I don't hold doors open for anyone anymore, except my wife. Wanna walk through without even a glance of recognition? Well then let it slam in your dam_n face.

Giving my mother-in-law something. No immediate verbal thank you, but some special treatment soon follows as a thank you

For this one, welcome to Asia.

[sparkie]

Can i say something about the Sra Kaew Oil Rigger who started this thread? He pissed me off with his assumption on onother thread that 'Thai degrees aren't worth the paper they're written on'.

Now, thanks for his link i read the guy has being working an oil rigs since he was 18. Says a lot! Now, Sakeopete seems to think he is some kind of Jesus Christ and that lowlife Thais (in his opinion) have to kiss his feet to get a couple of hundred baht out of him.

As for that crap he writes about caddies fighting each other to get his 200 baht, thats just bulls#$%....

With his attitude, Sakeopete ain't gonne have any friends in his village in Sra Kaew. Give him 6 more months, then he'll be booted out by the village headman.

[KhunMarco]

Can i say something about the Sra Kaew Oil Rigger who started this thread? He pissed me off with his assumption on onother thread that 'Thai degrees aren't worth the paper they're written on'.

Now, thanks for his link i read the guy has being working an oil rigs since he was 18. Says a lot! Now, Sakeopete seems to think he is some kind of Jesus Christ and that lowlife Thais (in his opinion) have to kiss his feet to get a couple of hundred baht out of him.

As for that crap he writes about caddies fighting each other to get his 200 baht, thats just bulls#$%....

With his attitude, Sakeopete ain't gonne have any friends in his village in Sra Kaew. Give him 6 more months, then he'll be booted out by the village headman.

Interesting really.....Do you feel better now?

Answering with a sweep generalization to another "somehow" sweep generalization is always a great idea

Edited June 4, 2006 by KhunMarco

[Sing_Sling]

Can i say something about the Sra Kaew Oil Rigger who started this thread? He pissed me off with his assumption on onother thread that 'Thai degrees aren't worth the paper they're written on'.

Now, thanks for his link i read the guy has being working an oil rigs since he was 18. Says a lot! Now, Sakeopete seems to think he is some kind of Jesus Christ and that lowlife Thais (in his opinion) have to kiss his feet to get a couple of hundred baht out of him.

As for that crap he writes about caddies fighting each other to get his 200 baht, thats just bulls#$%....

With his attitude, Sakeopete ain't gonne have any friends in his village in Sra Kaew. Give him 6 more months, then he'll be booted out by the village headman.

Interesting really.....Do you feel better now?

Answering with a sweep generalization to another "somehow" sweep generalization is always a great idea

Actually it does say a lot. It tells me that he does a job that I wouldn't do, he has been doing it a long time to reach the goals he has set for himself. He has shown preseverance and dedication.

It shows me that he's worth a lot more than tossers that generalise like you do.

Here's a generalisation: Correct. Thai University degrees are generally not a reflection on the holders knowledge.

[elkangorito]

'Expectation' is always a killer, in any country/culture.

From the looks of several posters, 'expectation' plays a big part in their lives. To believe in this way of thinking is to 'set yourself up for failure & disappointment'.

Disregarding 'loss of face', Thais tend to expect nothing (in my experience). What they do seem to rely upon is the value of immediate appearence & immediate experience/response.

If you feel the need to be thanked, in reciprocation for the minor gesture performed, make sure that you explain the requirement to others before 'summarily expecting' your 'desired' response. Another tip...nobody is a 'mind reader'.

For christs sake, what is being discussed here is about the 'western' worlds, "please" & "thankyou" words.

Go ahead & 'expect' others to 'read your mind'. Go ahead & set yourself up for failure by 'expecting' the western form of 'payback'. I think that any form of 'payback' is sick. If you don't know what 'payback' is, ask me again...I'll be happy to enlighten.

If one insists upon 'expecting' certain programmed responses from people, then 'one' may ultimately be very disappointed.

Edited June 4, 2006 by elkangorito

[OlRedEyes]

Can i say something about the Sra Kaew Oil Rigger who started this thread? He pissed me off with his assumption on onother thread that 'Thai degrees aren't worth the paper they're written on'.

Pretty accurate statement I'd say. But it's only my opinion

[OldAsiaHand]

Can i say something about the Sra Kaew Oil Rigger who started this thread? He pissed me off with his assumption on onother thread that 'Thai degrees aren't worth the paper they're written on'.

Pretty accurate statement I'd say. But it's only my opinion

Make that two opinions.

I'm not even sure how you can intelligently argue with the guy's premise. Surely you've met some Thai university graduates, other than the ones in black skirts and white blouses, of course.

Uh...okay, maybe you haven't.

[rcalsop]

Although I can empathise with the bad service angle of many of the reports ,for this read bad training / bad management as the root cause !!,

I cannot understand the postings refering to no thank you`s . My experience is the reverse I live and work with Thais, I am the only farang at work ( I do not speak Thai ) my team young developing junior managers ,and the direct workers 1000 of them ,have always show gratitude and thanks , they share their snacks , meals and experiences with me daily, my neighbours ( I do not live in a farang palace or near to Hi So`s ) are in general kind and sociable frequently sharing food and drink with me ...they are always feeding my kids , swapping food they have cooked ie sending a plate of food of a special receipe they have prepared .

If I walk to the shop in the moo ban it is difficult not to come back home intoxicated as I pass the houses where the neighbours are sat out side talking and smoking with a few drinks ,if I hesitate for a second or greet them I have a drink in my hand before I know it and if I actually sit down seconds later I am being fed . on occasions a simple 10 minute trip to the shops takes hours and I return well oiled and totally stuffed . Many of the neighbours are up country families in Bkk to make a living but after a few drinks the english speaking starts witha lot of fun and laughter over the mistakes ,no loss of face issues here .

Reference family... apart from 1 sister of my wife who is actively disrespectfull to me and my wife and her parents ( I have put her out of the house several times telling her that behaviour was not acceptable in my house ... this was greeted with genuine full support from the rest of the family I gained a lot of face ).

The family are always polite and say thank you . When I am travelling I will buy local prodce and specialities from farm shops ie super eggs from Lopburi all double yokers huge eggs fresh and cheap ,one tray for us 1 for her mum we I am always thanked or a favour given in return .

Perhaps it is the case of reap what ye sow .. is your attitude or non verbal language pissing other people off ???

Thailand is the land of contradictions .

The foot is considered the lowest part of the body ie no pointing ,showing the soles.... yet the best foot massage is in Thailand .

Sexual discussions can be considered taboo but well you know the rest ...

Thai food is considered very adventurous and they eat anything ..but they are the most conservative eaters ( other nations food ) I have encountered .

etcetra etcetera sorry Yule Brynner is banned !!.

Physical contact is supposed to be minimal but I have found the reverse with bum pats and arm nips, tickles and play full pokes the norm both from male and female .

Off topic a bit ... but does any one speak Thaibrow ...it is a subtle and powerfull non verbal communication tool . Punctuating ,emphasing , pointing and used as an affermation tool ( spelling )

and as a thank you and aknowledegement . Watch the eyebrows its subtle but i have just about conquered it and can now communicate using my eyebrows to the point sometimes the team think I have spoken Thai.

Sorry to disagree , and thank you ,thankyou ! thankyou for allowing me to respond ( raise eye brow indicating sarcasm) .

Can I have a tip now !!!

Your experience has also been, by & large, my experience in Thailand. The 'good' points far outway the 'bad' points. Almost all the Thai people whom I've met, have bent over forwards & backwards to be hospitable to me...so much so (& like you) that I have been summarily dragged around this beautiful country many times at no expense to myself, gone for a 'quiet' drink & ended up having the worlds biggest & friendliest pissup, gone with a Thai friend to help out with something & ended up 500kms away having a party with some really wonderful people...these were great times & experiences but I was really exhausted after these events. I think I know how you feel.

Notwithstanding all this, I still hope that the wonderfully crazy 'live in the moment' Thais will still keep me involved in their instantaneous lives. It beats the h_el.l out of my old life.

I've met quite a few falangs who have done nothing but spew forth negativities of their 'chosen' Thai life. Afterwards, I reflect upon their situation & attitude, & I think I can see something in them that the 'positive' falangs don't seem to have...that is, a seemingly angry look on their face, a generally courser tone of voice & a more offensive (as opposed to defensive) demeanour.

I realise that my observations are 'simplistic' but nonetheless, they are my observations.

The truth is often very simple !!!!

Thank you for your backing so few farangs seem positive and well adjusted and live a challenged life ,I love it here apart from the money earning side but after years of working as an expat I have one basic rule avoid the expats and develop friend ships with the locals ..I frequently go weeks with zero physical & verbal contact with farangs and when I review my emails /phone book 75% non farang and apart from family the other farangs are business only !!!...Hmmm that says some thing .

We also avoid the "make up and Mercedes brigade "of any nationality... mostly new money ..

Most guests to our house or friends we have weekended with are Thai male and female . friends we have developed after marriage , not my wifes old friends .

By the ways for those people where the only excercise is jumping to conclusions .. 50% of my job is HRD training and developement so I am not a social idiot just a carefull one .

[Sakeopete]

Can i say something about the Sra Kaew Oil Rigger who started this thread? He pissed me off with his assumption on onother thread that 'Thai degrees aren't worth the paper they're written on'.

Now, thanks for his link i read the guy has being working an oil rigs since he was 18. Says a lot! Now, Sakeopete seems to think he is some kind of Jesus Christ and that lowlife Thais (in his opinion) have to kiss his feet to get a couple of hundred baht out of him.

As for that crap he writes about caddies fighting each other to get his 200 baht, thats just bulls#$%....

With his attitude, Sakeopete ain't gonne have any friends in his village in Sra Kaew. Give him 6 more months, then he'll be booted out by the village headman.

LoL, Freudian "Sour Grapes" do you have issues? hmmm I don't recall calling any Thais low life. I'm married to one and have a child with her. As for "my assumption", if you read the post carefully it comes from my 2 Thai university graduate friends who had to do their Degrees over again overseas (Sweden) to get a good job.

As for the caddies I suggest playing there a few rounds first before calling my wife and I liars. If I were a politician you would be up on defamation charges.

I’ve been living in that village almost 5 years I think if I had a bad attitude they would have kicked me out a long time ago. I hope your not “Oil Rigger” bashing because of the high oil prices its not my fault.

Edited June 5, 2006 by Sakeopete

[ROFL]

'Expectation' is always a killer, in any country/culture.

From the looks of several posters, 'expectation' plays a big part in their lives. To believe in this way of thinking is to 'set yourself up for failure & disappointment'.

Go ahead & set yourself up for failure by 'expecting' the western form of 'payback'.

If one insists upon 'expecting' certain programmed responses from people, then 'one' may ultimately be very disappointed.

Good post,

On that note I now realize I have been wrong when tipping 20%.. western (USA) standard.

I hope the Thais wont be disappointed.

[ROFL]

Can i say something about the Sra Kaew Oil Rigger who started this thread? He pissed me off with his assumption on onother thread that 'Thai degrees aren't worth the paper they're written on'.

Now, thanks for his link i read the guy has being working an oil rigs since he was 18. Says a lot! Now, Sakeopete seems to think he is some kind of Jesus Christ and that lowlife Thais (in his opinion) have to kiss his feet to get a couple of hundred baht out of him.

As for that crap he writes about caddies fighting each other to get his 200 baht, thats just bulls#$%....

With his attitude, Sakeopete ain't gonne have any friends in his village in Sra Kaew. Give him 6 more months, then he'll be booted out by the village headman.

LoL, Freudian "Sour Grapes" do you have issues? hmmm I don't recall calling any Thais low life. I'm married to one and have a child with her. As for "my assumption", if you read the post carefully it comes from my 2 Thai university graduate friends who had to do their Degrees over again overseas (Sweden) to get a good job.

As for the caddies I suggest playing there a few rounds first before calling my wife and I liars. If I were a politician you would be up on defamation charges.

I’ve been living in that village almost 5 years I think if I had a bad attitude they would have kicked me out a long time ago. I hope your not “Oil Rigger” bashing because of the high oil prices its not my fault.

LOL, he busted on you for working on an OIL RIG.

If anything that says a lot about him, not you.

[anuaaron]

I used to tip my golf caddy 200 baht - a great tip of 70%. They never thanked me so I started giving 100. 3 of them asked for more so now they get bugger all. If you're giving away free tellies and getting no thanks, remember and don't do it again.

The worst one was when I bought 6 baht of gold for my wife when we ere getting married. I handed over cash to the woman in the shop and she didn't even look at me, but waied my wife. On the way out, as I realised I was getting no thanks I told them exactly what I thought of them - I was fuming.

I think that is being a bit harsh. The standard caddy tip is 200 baht so you get the normal response. I got a big wai when I gave 500 once (no change dash it) . Other posters have mentioned the age thing and really do you need thanks for helping family.

I also agree that you should not make it a habit because you open yourself up to abuse. Special occassions are nice for giving something and you also can make an issue out of it if you want. I gave a vacuum cleaner once that I wrapped and made the younger members of the family open. I wrapped it in three bits of paper so it was like pass the parcel. Everyone had fun and the tension even forced granny to clap when she saw what it was But they did know I would only help for special things on special days (worked out about three times a year and cost me about 15,000 baht a year).

[CymruAmByth]

My observation just from last week:

Pay for dinners, lunches, petrol etc . . . No 'thank you' received

Buy somehting for someone in particular . . . Thank you received

It does seem to be case with 'older' Thais that they take receiving something as a gift for granted.

And to the ongoing Golf discussion: Can't remember and don't care whihc side of the discussion this poster was on, but it went something like this;

Just as an aside - and I know we are WAAAAAY off topic - but my Aussie buddy, who was returning home to Sydney after 2 years here, spent 4 hours in Thaniya Plaza trying to buy a golf trolley/pull-cart until he realized why he could not find one anywhere...NOBODY IS STUPID ENOUGH TO DO IT THEMSELVES HERE!

. . . and just before this you were raving about fat <deleted> . . . Well, some of us may actually still think of golf as a bit more than sitting/driving - walking two feet - hit ball - sit/drive.

So, who is the fat arse and who is stupid?

Arguing about 200baht being a pittance for this job is ludicrous. Wo are you to denigrate people who earn 200baht for a 2-hour job?

If you can't remember, or don't care, at least read the whole thread before accusing me of denigrating people!

If you read the whole thread I was SUPPORTING the caddie fraternity!

I lurked a while here, tried to join in, but get nothing but <deleted> answers like yours.

I am outta here and I am sure the place will be better for not having me. Also...I will watch the door on my way out and all those other mature comments.

Get a life people...go mix with the humans.

[GU22]

My wife moved to the UK over 5 years ago and readily accepted that she has to adapt to the British (western) way of doing things, reacting to people and behaving. If you've moved to Thailand and after 5 years still can't adapt to the Thai way then you are the loser.

Expecting Thais to change their behaviour to suit you is cultural imperialism; you are saying that "My way is better than yours!" No, it isn't; it's merely different.

There's an ad campaign running in the UK at the moment for HSBC and it's theme is "Wouldn't life be boring if we were all the same."