East or west

[elliss]

hello, would like to have the views of members who have/had

long term relationships with thai women , as their partners wives etc.  how would you compare them with western women

their expectations from you ,goals,family pressure,s , morals,

and as everyday companions ?.   lots of replies please .

[Thetyim]

I have had long term relationship with a Thai and my biggest gripe is that the family always comes first.

A couple of my friends also complain about this so I guess is it

a common fault amongst peasant girls.

[pnustedt]

Why - are you contemplating a long term relationship?

Generally (or in my limited experience) Western women require a relationship where they can find fulfilment and they can achieve a high self esteem. Thai (or most Asian) women will look for practical (and measurable) benefits.

Her family, and particularly her mother, will be a very high priority to her. Remember that there is little or no social security in Thailand and the system is that the grown up children support the parents. She will also look to raise the status of the family in the village or community.

She will worship Buddha adore The Royal Family and be very proud of Thailand - do not criticise any of them!

At meals, etc. you would be given proirity over her - she would ensure that you had the best piece of food, etc.

She would be faithful to you and would expect the same in return, one reason why falangs are attractive (apart from the perception that they are mobile ATMs) is that Thai men are considered very unreliable. Beware if you do stray, you could lose a very important appendage!

[Mikedow]

I am married over 7 years to a Thai and we know each other for over ten years. Like in any relationship there bound to be problems. My wife does not consider me a walking ATM and she at times makes more money than me in her consulting job.  Yes, family comes first and I am lucky that my wife is not materialistic. The Thai social system is actually very nice, but many Thai men abuse it and that's why us farrangs are very high on the list of Thai females. Treat them well and they will do likewise (well, most of them

[bangna_man]

Don't bother, stay single, these people are too shallow to have a relationship with, never let them move in either.

[anamore]

I've been reading this forum for 2 weeks and my conclusions are that some men talk good about thay girls and some don't.

From many I think that they use and get used by them.

Sometimes they look hypocrit to me. They can't stand those girls, but also can't live without them. They show little respect and talk about the girls as being disposables.

Some are bitter and disapointment shows thru their writings.

Even in thailand life isn't easy and money can buy sex and care, but is that love? I don't know.

One of the probleems seems to be that the men find it difficult to deal with the prejudices existing in Asia but also in Europe that thai women were always prostitutes prior to meeting their foreigner husbands/boyfriends. They try to ignore reality, but prejudices are hard to beat, and wil always be there.

Allong with this thai women have no education or other kind of development that makes them able to live as equals in europe of in USA. I mean to have chances of work and participation in other countries. Even when they have had education their grades aren't comparative to those elsewhere.

Some men say the grils put their family 1st, so you don't marry one but a lot of people. In western culture when you get together you begin your own family and the rest becames second place.

some men say they only want money from foreigners and wil do anything to get it.

Relantionships between very different cultures such as the asian and the western, often fail, because there are many different codes, the language barrier is maybe the easier to overcame. In asian culture women don't stand on a equal level with their husbands, they are submiss. And when they aren't they just rule over the man (someone told me).

Long term marriages are rather exception than rule.

Lots of men writing in this forum really have a probleem with women from their homelands. Maybe failled relationschips, bad experiences, whatever.

Many others seem to 'think' only with their little head: sex is their main topic.

Om the advantages of thay women: many men are happy that they just take care of the household, prevent men from spending money, hardly spend any themselves and are always willing: they see a thai as a maid but them the kind of maid that does all jobs, without geting paid for it.

None of the men writes about having inteligente and deep conversations with their thai wifes/ girlfriends, taking them to meetings related with their work or socialising on a cultural way,

Some do say they miss a western female to talk with. This must mean something???

I should say think good about it especially if you are young and starting a professional life at your homecountry, or if you have a professional life in wich men are expected to show up with their wifes now and them.

And ask yourself if you want a marriage that envolves more than sex and someone doing the household for you.

I am from europe and I would never get involved with someone from africa or asia: Those continents are just a different world to me. Coping with the differences in culture next to the personal differences can just be more than one can handle.

As a woman I also wouldn't like to be looked at like thai women are looked at in thailand or abroad.

Take your time because some decisions wil influence the course of your life more than you know at the moment you make them.

good luck

[chonabot]

<font color='#000000'>Don't bother, stay single, these people are too shallow to have a relationship with, never let them move in either.</font>

Should read "foreskin sponsor"

[mandl]

<font color='#000000'>

Generally (or in my limited experience) Western women require a relationship where they can find fulfilment and they can achieve a high self esteem. Thai (or most Asian) women will look for practical (and measurable) benefits.

Her family, and particularly her mother, will be a very high priority to her. Remember that there is little or no social security in Thailand and the system is that the grown up children support the parents. She will also look to raise the status of the family in the village or community.

She will worship Buddha adore The Royal Family and be very proud of Thailand - do not criticise any of them!

At meals, etc. you would be given proirity over her - she would ensure that you had the best piece of food, etc.

She would be faithful to you and would expect the same in return, one reason why falangs are attractive (apart from the perception that they are mobile ATMs) is that Thai men are considered very unreliable. Beware if you do stray, you could lose a very important appendage!</font>

pnustedt,

Well said. After 30 years of marriage to a Thai woman, all of what you said is true in my case. If you find the right one, hang on to her. My wife is the oldest child in her family and feels it is her (and my) responsibility to look after them to the best of our ability. I understood that when I married her and am comfortable with it.

mandl

[dutch]

anamore,

you not really answer to the topic question.

However your observations of the forum reactions are nice.

It is like always in life neither black nor white with a lot of greys!

Ellis,N

Next August I will be married for 27 years with a Thai.

22 years spend in Holland-Germany and last 5 years in Indonesia.

Hope for at least another 27 years more

My wife is visiting this website frequently and has a lot of fun.

We will retire in Thailand by the end of this year.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Generally (or in my limited experience) Western women require a relationship where they can find fulfilment and they can achieve a high self esteem. Thai (or most Asian) women will look for practical (and measurable) benefits.

Her family, and particularly her mother, will be a very high priority to her. Remember that there is little or no social security in Thailand and the system is that the grown up children support the parents. She will also look to raise the status of the family in the village or community.

She will worship Buddha adore The Royal Family and be very proud of Thailand - do not criticise any of them!

At meals, etc. you would be given proirity over her - she would ensure that you had the best piece of food, etc.

She would be faithful to you and would expect the same in return, one reason why falangs are attractive (apart from the perception that they are mobile ATMs) is that Thai men are considered very unreliable. Beware if you do stray, you could lose a very important appendage!

pnustedt,

Well said. After 30 years of marriage to a Thai woman, all of what you said is true in my case. If you find the right one, hang on to her. My wife is the oldest child in her family and feels it is her (and my) responsibility to look after them to the best of our ability. I understood that when I married her and am comfortable with it.

mandl

And it sounds as though the duck has been denied a feed of your fundamental

thus far too.

[think_too_mut]

would like to have the views of members who have/had

long term relationships with thai women , as their partners wives etc.  how would you compare them with western women

their expectations from you ,goals,family pressure,s , morals,

and as everyday companions ?.

I'm with one, met few dozens through her friendships and family.

In short, I can imagine (and been a passenger on it) a farang woman piloting a jumbo, but can't imagine Thai lady doing the same.

Can imagine both pampering their men though.

Ladies of the night:

As mature as 12-14yrs old farang girls. Some streetsmarts, instincts but nothing comparable to a farang women of the the same age.

Of course, one has to invest some effort in finding a farang woman with her education/development englected down to the level of a Thai bg.

On average, regardless of social class, Thai girls are ahead of their farang counterparts when it comes to physical beauty and slimness.

[Bluecat]

On average, regardless of social class, Thai girls are ahead of their farang counterparts when it comes to physical beauty and slimness.

What a statement. Not very objective, to say the least.

There are far more beautiful and slim girls in the farang world than in Thailand.

Just talking about "diversity", ALL the Thai girls have black hairs and brown eyes.

In farangland, any type is "available, any colour of eyes or hairs, any shape or height,...

Talking about being slim. A lot of the young girls in cities just eat the same junk food than anywhere else in the developped world, resulting in more and more of them getting "bigger".

In conclusion, I do not think the main attraction of Thai girls for farang is their physical beauty compared to farang girls of the SAME age,....

[chonabot]

In conclusion, I do not think the main attraction of Thai girls for farang is their physical beauty compared to farang girls of the SAME age,....

So let's have the main attraction Bluey!

[mbkudu]

I think it comes down the old saying, 'opposites attract'. To a lot of westerners Asian women just look and feel more exotic than western women. The same for Asian men. A lot of Asian men think western women are the Bomb. The blond hair and white skin drives them wild. For me I think it is also familiarity with Asian women. The first few girlfriends I had as a teenager and college student were white girls, but from then on they have been Asian women. I am familiar with their ways, smells, likes, dislikes, thinking, ect..and I feel comfortable around them.

Maybe a poor analogy, but food comes to mind. Some people love hot spicy food and others don't. Some like strawberry icecream, some like chocolate. It's just a matter of taste.

[think_too_mut]

In conclusion, I do not think the main attraction of Thai girls for farang is their physical beauty compared to farang girls of the SAME age,....

Ok, I am throwing in their feminity.

[mbkudu]

In conclusion, I do not think the main attraction of Thai girls for farang is their physical beauty compared to farang girls of the SAME age,....

Ok, I am throwing in their feminity.

It's the smile that gets me every time; melts me down to a puddle. The simplest

farm girl or highrise construction worker covered from head to toe in raggedy clothing can shoot me right in the heart with that beautiful Thai smile.

[Bluecat]

I think it comes down the old saying, 'opposites attract'. To a lot of westerners Asian women just look and feel more exotic than western women.

A friend of mine has a wider definition of that comment: "Whatever is not my wife is exotic,..."

[Bluecat]

It's the smile that gets me every time; melts me down to a puddle.

On this one, I agree. A big part of the attraction,...

[mbkudu]

It's the smile that gets me every time; melts me down to a puddle.

On this one, I agree. A big part of the attraction,...

Bluecat, what kind of men/women are you attracted to?

[mbkudu]

I'm sorry, I'll leave you alone. I just can't help myself. I swear to god I'm not a stalker.

[Bluecat]

Bluecat, what kind of men/women are you attracted to?

Same than most people, I guess.

With one exception (for some, anyway), I am not attracted by somebody who is part of my family,...

Maybe I evolved a bit too far from my animal side. I don't know.

Anyway, this is the way it is,...

[FarangYaayYaaw]

I've been married to a Thai woman for about 16 years now. We lived together for a couple of years before that. The first 6 years we lived in Thailand, and the last 12 in the US.

The longer she stays in the US, the fewer differences there is between her and a western woman - except for one thing. She had a huge grudge against her family, and never felt much need to send money home, until the last few years. I guess it's because her mother is getting old or somehting,

Another difference is that she invited her mother to live with us for a few years here in Hawaii. Didn't ask me, just told me - it didn't occur to her that I might not agree. I didn't mind though, I kind of liked having her here. The only thing I didn't like was worying her health might give out. It's impossible to buy health insurance for an elderly person in this country - one major illness and we'd lose everything.

One thing I'd say is listen to all these generalizations, but realize they are just that. Don't believe eveything you hear - there a lot of self-proclamed "experts" out there, and a lot of what you hear is disguised racism. Bottom line: everybody is an individual. Get to know your Thai GF as well as you would a western GF before you make too big of a comitment. They're not all the same.

[FarangYaayYaaw]

BTW, my wife came with a son, and we had another together (who is now 12). I DID NOT want children when I met her, but raising these two beautiful boys has been the most meaningful and rewarding thing I've ever been involved with in my life. Kids are great.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

BTW, my wife came with a son, and we had another together (who is now 12). I DID NOT want children when I met her, but raising these two beautiful boys has been the most meaningful and rewarding thing I've ever been involved with in my life. Kids are great.

Good for you. A positive message

[elsie]

A friend of mine has a wider definition of that comment: "Whatever is not my wife is exotic,..."

[Bluecat]

So let's have the main attraction Bluey! 

I think everybody his own.

For a lot of the farang here, I think youth is the main attraction. Feminity is another way of putting it,...

As far as I am concerned, I am not more attracted by Thai girls than by girls of any other nationality.

There are nice, lovely, smart, funny girls everywhere in this world and Thailand is far from being above average,...

But you can also find them in Thailand. You just have to take your time and look a bit "harder" than most of us (farang) do,...

[sbk]

<font color='#000000'>hello, would like to have the views of members who have/had

long term relationships with thai women , as their partners wives etc.  how would you compare them with western women

their expectations from you ,goals,family pressure,s , morals,

and as everyday companions ?.   lots of replies please .</font>

Not interested in farang women with thai partners response then? Or worried what the answers might be?

[Bluecat]

Not interested in farang women with thai partners response then? Or worried what the answers might be?

Not worried. Jealous,...

[Richard W]

In asian culture women don't stand on a equal level with their husbands, they are submiss.

I wouldn't put too much reliance on that. Thai wives may treat their husbands like kings, but remember that Thailand is a constitutional monarchy. English precedents may be relevant.

[Bluecat]

Thai wives may treat their husbands like kings

You are not married to a Thai woman, are you?