How important is quality sex to you when choosing a partner?

[ggt]

What is "quality" sex? Define "normal" guys...

[khunPer]

»...can a Thai girl make up for her lack of sexual desire by being an excellent partner in all other non sexual aspects of the relationship?«

That’s a very good question.

I would rather think that happened for foreign couples with related culture, interest and language. I know couples, where the man have “time out” or “pit stop” alone in Thailand to make it up for the lack of sexual drive, but the married foreign couple would not even think of separation.

Seems to me, that the Thai partner often may be the better housekeeper (not meaning keeping the house the farang bought) and take good care of her boyfriend/husband and eventually child/children than many a “homeland” wife, whilst sharing (other) interest seems more difficult in many or most cases; perhaps because of different culture and education.

There may be multiple aspects/reasons for couples to stick together, when sexual drive lacks.

Seems like Thai couples sort that matter out with a mia noi or some little giks – that may work as well for a mixed farang-Thai couple, just like the “time out”-method; I actually do know of cases where it work…

[kevvy]

when you are really "in love" there is no bad sex with your wife .

When you're married, there's hardly any sex at all.

Really?

[wym]

The church needs new chairs. Who gonna give us chairs? Make something a sin and then charge people one chair to forgive the sin? Cool but we need a sure thing? OK make infidelity a sin.

Aha yes. But I'd hope you agree that lying to your SO is indeed wrong?

Nothing wrong with being a butterfly as long as there's no lying going on. . .

I haven't met a Thai woman who wasn't boring in bed. If you want quality sex go back to farang land

My experience certainly does NOT agree; IMO you're just not doing it right, maybe the source of your mates?

[thailiketoo]

I haven't met a Thai woman who wasn't boring in bed.I f you want quality sex go back to farang land

It's just a matter of equipment. Location and music. Yabba dabba do! Remember Thai women always do thing better in groups.

[nithisa78]

Marriage is like life, It requires perseverance, self-denial, hard work, sacrifice, dedication and respect. The ability to understand mole hills aren't mountains.

[wym]

I haven't met a Thai woman who wasn't boring in bed.I f you want quality sex go back to farang land

It's just a matter of equipment. Location and music. Yabba dabba do! Remember Thai women always do thing better in groups.

Actually true, once you get them to overcome the shyness issue, letting them get into "play mode" giggling around with each other, less intense focus gets to be a lot of fun!

[Morakot]

Nope.

Actually, it purely depends whether the OP has an interest in an exciting sex life. If he has no interest would they not be a perfect match?

Edited March 18, 2014 by Morakot

[BngkkB]

Whereustay is her name Jaeb?

Sent from my HTC One using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[jackspade]

Nothing wrong with being a butterfly as long as there's no lying going on. . .

In my experience with polyamory (a couple of my past lovers were polyamorous, one even headed up a popular polyamory lifestyle group in Toronto), it's basically a very modern and radical view of sexuality when held against traditional perspectives on values favoring monogomy and marriage. I'm not saying it's radical in and of itself, just compared with traditional mores.

Obviously, many Thai women are "poly" and "amorous" in the sense that they're sleeping with multiple partners and said partners are in the dark about it, but it's not framed like Polyamory Per Se is: as a way to experience actual love with multiple people in a way that promotes open, honest communication.

So, how do you pull off polyamory in Thailand? In other words, how do you "deprogram" a typical, traditional Thai woman who wants marriage, a baby, and (one) husband to value polyamory? Furthermore, how do you do this without MONEY being the determining factor?

Or is it just about finding the right women?

[Morakot]

A perfect wife should be a whore in bed and a princess in the home.

Is this your ideal wife?

[gcgoldcoast]

what a stupid question,

[Ulysses G.]

I mean, sex with whores is bad even when single.

Sounds like personal problem. Some are boring. Some are great. It depends on the people involved and their individual sexual needs.

Edited March 18, 2014 by Ulysses G.

[Cyberseraph]

I had a similar experience like the original poster. Recently I was dating a smoking hot girl. She had a normal job but was looking like an underwear model, perfect face and perfect body. At first I could not believe how lucky I am that I am dating her and she is interested in me.

But she also told me that sex is not important to her and that she does not need sex at all. But she wanted to make me happy and we had sex for the first time. It was like shagging a plank and a very weird experience. We had sex several times after this but it just felt bad to know that she does not enjoy it at all and is just doing it for me. I quickly lost interest and we are not dating each other anymore. I wish her all the best anyway to find a partner who does not need sex.

Hope this helps but you have to decide what to do by yourself anyway.

[eddie61]

Can she cook?

Can she wash up?

Can she sweep the house?

Can she take care of your kids?

Is she honest with money?

Is she frugal?

Subcontract the rest.....

Edited March 18, 2014 by eddie61

[HooHaa]

Nothing wrong with being a butterfly as long as there's no lying going on. . .

In my experience with polyamory (a couple of my past lovers were polyamorous, one even headed up a popular polyamory lifestyle group in Toronto), it's basically a very modern and radical view of sexuality when held against traditional perspectives on values favoring monogomy and marriage. I'm not saying it's radical in and of itself, just compared with traditional mores.

Obviously, many Thai women are "poly" and "amorous" in the sense that they're sleeping with multiple partners and said partners are in the dark about it, but it's not framed like Polyamory Per Se is: as a way to experience actual love with multiple people in a way that promotes open, honest communication.

So, how do you pull off polyamory in Thailand? In other words, how do you "deprogram" a typical, traditional Thai woman who wants marriage, a baby, and (one) husband to value polyamory? Furthermore, how do you do this without MONEY being the determining factor?

Or is it just about finding the right women?

how about you ask him in his own thread so he needn't proselytize here.

he lives for this exact question and loves nothing more than sharing his views on the subject.

just. please.not. here.

[larsjohnsson]

Ideally, we all want that partner who is mind-blowing in bed and can take care of all other duties wonderfully. You could try to look for it and be lucky enough to find it.

It is all about perspective too. Sex with the same person over and over again tends to become dull no matter how good they are. And then you just look for the something different to create a new feeling for yourself.

Let's look at the two extremes. Great at all the wife and mother stuff, but poor in bed vs. Great in bed (which inevitably gets dull) and useless at everything else.

I would choose type 1 if i had to. Type 2 would ultimately be more irritating.

Somewhere in between is ideal, unless you are luckiest guy on earth (who never gets bored of the same woman, no matter how good) and you happen to find a woman who excels in both areas.

Anyway, i fear there is no real answer anyway since we were never meant to be monogamous. All evidence points toward us being non-monogamous creatures, like most animals in existence, especially mammals. And the males are almost always the most promiscuous sex, which is how mother nature wanted us to be (to fertilize more females and create more life). Unfortunately, this doesn't fit into our current society and we are seen as perverts.

In my opinion there really is not way out except just try to be satisfied with what you got. Otherwise you gotta cheat on your family with whores, which just sounds awful. I mean, sex with whores is bad even when single. I really don't believe any guy who says he enjoys sex with a rent-doll. It ruins the essence of sex.

If comparing like you do: good vs bad. Then you shold compare good/bad in bed vs something else that is important. Not vs everything else......

[cherrylee2512]

im a woman but im still going to comment. surely for both men and woman if the sexual par of the relationship is boring then the relationship will fizzle out i mean youd start looking somewhere else no matter what sex you are.

[wym]

In my opinion there really is not way out except just try to be satisfied with what you got. Otherwise you gotta cheat on your family with whores, which just sounds awful. I mean, sex with whores is bad even when single. I really don't believe any guy who says he enjoys sex with a rent-doll. It ruins the essence of sex.

But that's what makes this part of the world so wonderful - the many grey areas, where you avoid the explicit sex workers, but can still easily find a "gifted amateur" bed mate on a more or less transactional basis.

Sure it's nicer with a deep and meaningful long-term relationship, but as so many point out the bloom is off the rose in the strictly physical department all too soon, plus all the other headaches make it hardly worth while to many.

Here you can design your own best-of-all-possible-worlds scenario to your own specs rather than having to fit the more limited menu of configurations back home.

im a woman but im still going to comment. surely for both men and woman if the sexual par of the relationship is boring then the relationship will fizzle out i mean youd start looking somewhere else no matter what sex you are.

But there's no need to throw out the baby with the bath water. The long-term financial/companionship/true-love partnership can continue to thrive while either or both partners is free to have fun with relatively superficial play-dates outside.

Just need to carefully design/negotiate the ground rules, and of course it takes a lot of trust and ongoing communication, not saying it's easy but ultimately very rewarding.

Edited March 18, 2014 by wym

[alanrchase]

Wym, I have to apologise. I was thinking about 52.

Sent from my GT-I9500 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[wym]

In my experience with polyamory (a couple of my past lovers were polyamorous, one even headed up a popular polyamory lifestyle group in Toronto), it's basically a very modern and radical view of sexuality when held against traditional perspectives on values favoring monogomy and marriage. I'm not saying it's radical in and of itself, just compared with traditional mores.

Obviously, many Thai women are "poly" and "amorous" in the sense that they're sleeping with multiple partners and said partners are in the dark about it, but it's not framed like Polyamory Per Se is: as a way to experience actual love with multiple people in a way that promotes open, honest communication.

So, how do you pull off polyamory in Thailand? In other words, how do you "deprogram" a typical, traditional Thai woman who wants marriage, a baby, and (one) husband to value polyamory? Furthermore, how do you do this without MONEY being the determining factor?

Or is it just about finding the right women?

Depends how far you want to go with it. Most Thai women are actually just fine with their husband fooling around, as long as 1 they don't lose face - ideally her circle doesn't know at all, but at least people in general don't know that she knows, 2 she is confident that her marriage with you isn't threatened and 3 you can well afford to maintain the other girl(s) without causing financial problems with the main family unit.

BTW that last problem is the only way adultery is grounds for divorce here.

So that is TRADITIONAL Thai marriage, can be adapted by us IF we're aware of how it works and know how to navigate those waters, certainly not easy but doable.

However I've found it much easier starting off on a more or less transactional basis, educating them from the very beginning on your principles and making it clear they aren't negotiable.

Being considerate to her needs and feelings over time a more real relationship will often evolve, but it takes constant mindfulness and reminders to keep things on track as her expectations will evolve on many fronts as she decides you're a keeper. It's very easy for us western suckers to revert back to our home-taught patterns, and believe me they're very quick to capitalize on that tendency.

I've found TGs with no previous exposure to western culture to be much better candidates, most farang spoil their girls so much they then expect it from all of us.

[wym]

Wym, I have to apologise. I was thinking about 52.

OK no pob-ham.

I've got a friend who's very large, and it causes him no end of problems here, I'm grateful I'm just average. . .

[wym]

Wym, I have to apologise. I was thinking about 52.

OK no pob-ham.

I've got a friend who's very large, and it causes him no end of problems here, I'm grateful I'm just average. . .

[lostinisaan]

If you're in the beginning of an affair and your girl friend doesn't show any interest doesn't mean that she's frigid. I've met quite a few foreigners here who told me that Thai girls wouldn't kiss their partners.....

It's pretty easy to understand that many girls/ women all over the world never had an orgasm and people like me are capable to wake that part in a female up.

But if a foreigner isn't attractive for a Thai girl and 30 years older, then you might have to ask yourself a serious question.There's no difference to other nationalities.

Let's face it. If you're married to a very good and sexy looking woman, you're usually not the only one, who'd like to sleep with her. If it's an ordinary woman and you have good sex and you love each other, seems to be the perfect mixture.

I like to see sexy girls, but don't really want to fight for my rights to be the only one. All in all no difference to other countries.

As a matter of fact, discussions about the universe and meaning of life might be very seldom in relationships with a Thai and a foreigner.

My wife's the sexiest one married to a foreigner on this forum.

[Showbags]

Wym, I have to apologise. I was thinking about 52.

OK no pob-ham.

I've got a friend who's very large, and it causes him no end of problems here, I'm grateful I'm just average. . .

Clothes...the bum gun....just getting in and out of taxis and chairs would be a problem I guess.

[GoodLookingMan]

Most Thai women are actually just fine with their husband fooling around, as long as 1 they don't lose face -

Complete rubbish. You don't know what you're talking about.

Thai women -- just like women elsewhere -- suffer enormous pain when learning of their husbands' infidelities. I've seen women driven to alcoholism by the selfishness (not to mention disrespect) of cheating husbands.

Very many Thai marriages end due to infidelity on the part of the husband. Only a fool would not know this.

[wym]

A perfect wife should be a whore in bed and a princess in the home.

Is this your ideal wife?

That's what the man said

"we want a lady in the street but a freak in the bed"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSPhCS-15eE#t=3m

[Ulysses G.]

Most Thai women are actually just fine with their husband fooling around, as long as 1 they don't lose face -

Complete rubbish. You don't know what you're talking about.

Actually many encourage their husbands to turn their sexual attentions to prostitutes when they get bored with satisfying him. It is extramarital romantic relationships that they have a problem with.

[bigbamboo]

It should also be remembered the hotter a woman is in bed she more she will expect from you too.

One thing I do know..... Thai women are a lot easier to please than Latinas so count your blessings here boys!

[khunPer]

Most Thai women are actually just fine with their husband fooling around, as long as 1 they don't lose face -

Complete rubbish. You don't know what you're talking about.

Thai women -- just like women elsewhere -- suffer enormous pain when learning of their husbands' infidelities. I've seen women driven to alcoholism by the selfishness (not to mention disrespect) of cheating husbands.

Very many Thai marriages end due to infidelity on the part of the husband. Only a fool would not know this.

What about equality?

Thai men can only reach a 2nd or 3rd place on the World scale, when it comes to infidelity – whilst Thai women rank number 1.

Not »complete rubbish«.

Seems like there is or has been a little “mia” or “gik” in many Thai families – the big “mia” often know about it and accept it – also some ladies have one…