First time in Kalasin

[JO1973]

I've never liked the idea of showing up with loads of gifts, especially if her parents are very poor. More than likely you are the first foreigner ever to stay with them so they are going to be wondering what it will be like as much as you.

If you show up like it's Christmas morning you may set a precedent which they (and the rest of the hangers-on) will expect every time in the future. Plus, if you do you will have affirmed your 'rich' status (not that you are -- not matter how many times you tell them -- but they will think you are anyway). Once you start bringing treasures from the 'Land of Plenty' it will be a hard cycle to break.

What would you do back home? Maybe bring something small, just as a show of thanks for having you over. Why not ask your girlfriend what her parents like to eat and then stop by the local market and pick up some take-away? You're staying one night so that will take care of the dinner, and it shows you're a decent houseguest.

[Totster]

I live in Kalasin,

Mossies - If their house is a brick house with no visible gaps at the top (between walls and roof) you will be probable be fine without a mosquito net, as long as the room you are staying in is clean and kept shut during the day/evening - a spray an hour before you go to bed will also help.

If the house is an old wooden house, then there are normally lots of gaps for the mosquitoes to get in (even if the downstairs has been bricked in), so in this case I suggest a net.

Yes, take them shopping if you can. Sure, you could go to Tesco Lotus, but that's kind of a farang place. Take them to the central Kalasin city market. They'll find everything they want there and have fun, and you'll find the visit quite educational

Bullshit, the family will prefer Tesco/Big C than the local market.

You will find Kalasin quiet but fun, and if you need an English (Swedish, German, Norweigan, Welsh) conversation or some comfort food go and find Scott's bar by the bus station (stand outside 7-11, with the shop behind you and look forward, can't miss it). If you need a friend please feel free to PM me.

totster

[marko kok prong]

DON'T BRING ANYTHING FROM THE UK......DO NOT GIVE ANY GIFT.....NEVER NEVER NEVER GIVE MONEY TO ANY FAMILY MEMBER ESPECIALLY YOUR GF....

BUT

I AM SURE YOU WON'T TAKE THIS ADVISE

SO

ONCE YOU GIVE....YOU WILL ALWAYS BE EXPECTED TO GIVE MORE AND BIGGER AND BETTER....MORE MORE MORE MORE

ARE YOU SMELLIN' ME YET?

GOOD LUCK SUCKER

Josh,you must be one popular guy.

[sirchai]

DON'T BRING ANYTHING FROM THE UK......DO NOT GIVE ANY GIFT.....NEVER NEVER NEVER GIVE MONEY TO ANY FAMILY MEMBER ESPECIALLY YOUR GF....

BUT

I AM SURE YOU WON'T TAKE THIS ADVISE

SO

ONCE YOU GIVE....YOU WILL ALWAYS BE EXPECTED TO GIVE MORE AND BIGGER AND BETTER....MORE MORE MORE MORE

ARE YOU SMELLIN' ME YET?

GOOD LUCK SUCKER

Josh,you must be one popular guy.

Yep, not just the capital letters are disgusting. Really sad is that those are able to reproduce and give their not knowing anything to their kids. Harr Harr.

[sirchai]

I live in Kalasin,

Mossies - If their house is a brick house with no visible gaps at the top (between walls and roof) you will be probable be fine without a mosquito net, as long as the room you are staying in is clean and kept shut during the day/evening - a spray an hour before you go to bed will also help.

If the house is an old wooden house, then there are normally lots of gaps for the mosquitoes to get in (even if the downstairs has been bricked in), so in this case I suggest a net.

Yes, take them shopping if you can. Sure, you could go to Tesco Lotus, but that's kind of a farang place. Take them to the central Kalasin city market. They'll find everything they want there and have fun, and you'll find the visit quite educational

Bullshit, the family will prefer Tesco/Big C than the local market.

You will find Kalasin quiet but fun, and if you need an English (Swedish, German, Norweigan, Welsh) conversation or some comfort food go and find Scott's bar by the bus station (stand outside 7-11, with the shop behind you and look forward, can't miss it). If you need a friend please feel free to PM me.

totster

Good to know that there're people like you, totster. Will page you when we're near Kalasin next time. A good and healthy Songkran to Kalasin from Sisaket.-

[Totster]

I live in Kalasin,

Mossies - If their house is a brick house with no visible gaps at the top (between walls and roof) you will be probable be fine without a mosquito net, as long as the room you are staying in is clean and kept shut during the day/evening - a spray an hour before you go to bed will also help.

If the house is an old wooden house, then there are normally lots of gaps for the mosquitoes to get in (even if the downstairs has been bricked in), so in this case I suggest a net.

Yes, take them shopping if you can. Sure, you could go to Tesco Lotus, but that's kind of a farang place. Take them to the central Kalasin city market. They'll find everything they want there and have fun, and you'll find the visit quite educational

Bullshit, the family will prefer Tesco/Big C than the local market.

You will find Kalasin quiet but fun, and if you need an English (Swedish, German, Norweigan, Welsh) conversation or some comfort food go and find Scott's bar by the bus station (stand outside 7-11, with the shop behind you and look forward, can't miss it). If you need a friend please feel free to PM me.

totster

Good to know that there're people like you, totster. Will page you when we're near Kalasin next time. A good and healthy Songkran to Kalasin from Sisaket.-

Please do ! Hope you have a happy and safe Songkran !

totster

[belg]

small gift : a bundle of cash or your atm card

[hotrod4098]

I would stay in a local hotel and just visit for the afternoon.

sometimes the girl may appear fairly honest but the family lurking behind are a bunch of devious rats.

the good girl gone bad..its the family that do it...seen it in many villages...they hound the girl for money..never leaving her alone..her mind just goes spinning...

i am just removing my girl from the village due to this

[slipperylobster]

Please stay at a resort. You sound a bit squeamish. They may live in town...but probably live out a ways. Plenty of resorts within 30 minutes drive... Rent a scooter. You will probably not be comfortable in their home, unless her ex husband was a farang (kidding !!)

I bet you can find a room 300-600 baht. Air con, cable, internet, and perhaps a pool. Invite them for lunch. (A few of them)

But do not miss the Isaan experience out of town.

[swissie]

Thanks very much for all the replies, some great information there and I will certainly take all of that on board – much appreciated gents. I don’t want to throw money at them, just wanted to find out what would be a polite gesture to say thanks for the offer of letting me stay.

Wow - a lot of haters on here. I thought older chaps were supposed to have good manners?! I guess you left them in the bar, or maybe in the house that youown but no longer live in?

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Not necessarily "haters" that supply info's here, concerning very ordinary life circumstances of Farangs living in rural Thailand. Don't forget, as negative as some comments may sound, most of them are based on life-experiences here, gathered by Farangs, that have lived in this environment for many years. They know more than you.

To marry a Thai-Girl means marrying the family. This is the root of the problem.

So, the family having invited you to visit, serves only one purpose: You will be assessed as to how you would be capable to open avenues to provide the family with a future "comfortable life". Never mind the daughter, she only serves as a means to achieve a goal.

Keep that in mind.

Cheers.

[DILLIGAD]

My advise 2 rai of land a car and some gold to start off small

Good idea. Start as you mean to go on!!!!

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[JHenry]

Don't bother with a gift , it won't mean anything. Just bung her a tenner ( 500bt ) for some food and she'll be over the moon.

Spray the bedroom with bug spray before you go to bed , you'll be fine. You're only staying one night so it'll be a novelty , you might even like it but i doubt it.

Don't forget to throw gf's boy friend out of your bed before you go to sleep.

And do not forget, you marry the entire family, including the above mentioned boyfriend(s)

but he doesn't have to have sex with them, as the gf already does. But they also live there and use the farang money. Haaar.!!

Of course. The ones introduced as brothers or cousins.

[RedQualia]

Thanks very much for all the replies, some great information there and I will certainly take all of that on board – much appreciated gents. I don’t want to throw money at them, just wanted to find out what would be a polite gesture to say thanks for the offer of letting me stay.

Wow - a lot of haters on here. I thought older chaps were supposed to have good manners?! I guess you left them in the bar, or maybe in the house that youown but no longer live in?

Sent from my GT-I9505 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Not necessarily "haters" that supply info's here, concerning very ordinary life circumstances of Farangs living in rural Thailand. Don't forget, as negative as some comments may sound, most of them are based on life-experiences here, gathered by Farangs, that have lived in this environment for many years. They know more than you.

To marry a Thai-Girl means marrying the family. This is the root of the problem.

So, the family having invited you to visit, serves only one purpose: You will be assessed as to how you would be capable to open avenues to provide the family with a future "comfortable life". Never mind the daughter, she only serves as a means to achieve a goal.

Keep that in mind.

Cheers.

I've been married to a Thai woman for quite a few years now. Country gal from the north. I don't think I've ever known a better woman anywhere. Her extended family is really great.

But there are many farang in Thailand who greatly and endlessly complain and lament concerning their poor understanding of people, their poor understanding of women, and their bad decisions made here in Thailand (if not back home as well). Several examples of such appear in this thread, and a very great many more can be found across the ThaiVisa website. These people could surely be described in many ways. "Bitterly judgmental," for example. Or maybe "loathfully resentful." The word "Haters," however, is much more concise.

[PMNL]

Just feel pity and sorry for those old folks with their personal misfortune experiences, if you are man of your 60's trying to attract Girls on theirs 20's especially in bars and night life places what do you expect??? Decent partner?? Well it says it all on each of your post people. Though most Isaan people are poor, they are really nice and sincere compared to those in the big city and western world. There is ofF course a bunch of the bad ones like everywhere else on the planet but generally they are good heart. The money things is indeed part of their local/village culture that the parents get supported financially from theirs kids. Normally the young go work in BKK or big city, during the holiday they visit their families in the village and what they normally do is buy food get some drink and give their parents money ( as well as monthly pay). You may give them but make sure you give what you feel comfortable and tell the GF exactly what you capable of, If you are expecting a serious relationship, as to avoid over expectation from all of them. Provide them with a good meal is good as many other suggested. The food they love the most is likely to be seafood like grilled prawns, as Isaan is far from the sea and they don't have chance to eat it so Often though there are many more of seafood places nowadays, and those Mookrata hotspot type of thing is always good for the local party. Personally I think this is a good idea to do for her family as it will show you are grateful for the family letting you stay.

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[PMNL]

Most of all, enjoy your stay and experience another type of life while you there. Who knows you might be invited to the fishing and grill day at her farm:-) it's fun.

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Thanks very much for all the replies, some great information there and I will certainly take all of that on board – much appreciated gents. I don’t want to throw money at them, just wanted to find out what would be a polite gesture to say thanks for the offer of letting me stay.



Wow - a lot of haters on here. I thought older chaps were supposed to have good manners?! I guess you left them in the bar, or maybe in the house that youown but no longer live in?



Sent from my GT-I9505 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Not necessarily "haters" that supply info's here, concerning very ordinary life circumstances of Farangs living in rural Thailand. Don't forget, as negative as some comments may sound, most of them are based on life-experiences here, gathered by Farangs, that have lived in this environment for many years. They know more than you.

To marry a Thai-Girl means marrying the family. This is the root of the problem.

So, the family having invited you to visit, serves only one purpose: You will be assessed as to how you would be capable to open avenues to provide the family with a future "comfortable life". Never mind the daughter, she only serves as a means to achieve a goal.

Keep that in mind.

Cheers.

Agree with you but many on the experiences here are about farangs that thought they can find a nice young woman in some of the bars. Bar girls you make use of in exchange for cash but you don't marry them.

I think the OP should have an open mind and forget about all those loosers here on TV that are nagging about the OP has to buy a car, house etc for the GF or in-laws. Surely those mother and father in laws are around that are in for the money but I think the percentage of those gold diggers are 40-60%.

If the OP has not found his love in a bar or the GF is very anti against any bar woman that shows up with a farang then he might me fine.

I know many of those farang relations with a farang having a bar girl but they seldom end in a nice way.

To meet a good woman, farangs or expatriate need to scout the villages to pick up the diamonds. I did exactly that by focusing on a woman that have a very small family (maximum one brother who is younger in his teenage age), parents who are working to make their own money and that have already their own house.

Never had a problem, except once for 4 months in my 25 years in Thailand but I learned out of it.

[lostinisaan]

Short visit ! Certainly not long enough to truly learn something about life outside of tourist-hubs.

Nevermind, OP will not qualify for a retirement visa just yet.

Cheers

From the OP to my private inbox?

Here's your private post, readable for all. I don't want to go down, where you- obviously- already are.Please never page me again,

P.S. Be happy that i don't know where you are. I'd show you an old man's skill.

is that understood?

Prick

theyoungone

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Sent 2014-04-10 19:25:15

I'll take your misses any day and she'll come for free old man

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Edited April 12, 2014 by lostinisaan

[sirchai]

Short visit ! Certainly not long enough to truly learn something about life outside of tourist-hubs.

Nevermind, OP will not qualify for a retirement visa just yet.

Cheers

From the OP to my private inbox?

Here's your private post, readable for all. I don't want to go down, where you- obviously- already are.Please never page me again,

P.S. Be happy that i don't know where you are. I'd show you an old man's skill.

is that understood?

Prick

theyoungone

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Sent 2014-04-10 19:25:15

I'll take your misses any day and she'll come for free old man

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Prick

theyoungone

I'll take your misses any day and she'll come for free old man

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OP wrote that on top of his username? Very intelligent and indeed people who'll feel well in Kalasin.Get a life!-

Edited April 12, 2014 by sirchai

[swissie]

Short visit ! Certainly not long enough to truly learn something about life outside of tourist-hubs.

Nevermind, OP will not qualify for a retirement visa just yet.

Cheers

From the OP to my private inbox?

Here's your private post, readable for all. I don't want to go down, where you- obviously- already are.Please never page me again,

P.S. Be happy that i don't know where you are. I'd show you an old man's skill.

is that understood?

Prick

theyoungone

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Sent 2014-04-10 19:25:15

I'll take your misses any day and she'll come for free old man

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I for one (swissie) was not in anyone's "Inbox". You must be confusing names and things. But it is known, that this cheap Thai-Whiskey can do strange things to people. All I can say.

Cheers.

[Totster]

Short visit ! Certainly not long enough to truly learn something about life outside of tourist-hubs.

Nevermind, OP will not qualify for a retirement visa just yet.

Cheers

From the OP to my private inbox?

Here's your private post, readable for all. I don't want to go down, where you- obviously- already are.Please never page me again,

P.S. Be happy that i don't know where you are. I'd show you an old man's skill.

is that understood?

Prick

theyoungone

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Sent 2014-04-10 19:25:15

I'll take your misses any day and she'll come for free old man

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Yeeeeaaah, well... reading your posts in this thread, I'd say he is right about one thing..

BTW, pm's shouldn't be posted in public.

totster

[slipperylobster]

Funny how so many posters are assuming the family is really poor. There are a lot of comfortable and well-off families in Kalasin, particularly in and around the square mile of the city; in fact it's the most urbanised province. And even if they are an average income or poor family, why assume they are going to dig his pockets at every opportunity? Don't judge others by your misfortune. Your life experience of others is a reflection of yourself; if you've attracted bad people in Thailand then you'll most likely attract them everywhere you go.

The truth is that most do not have large, comfortable homes. Not as we know them. There are exceptions, of course...

It would be interesting to get a follow up from the poster. Please assure us that she is not support the folks back home. If that turns out to be true, then you might need to take note on how many mortgages are over due. Also, how many new cars have been purchased with extended payment plans. If you are planning to get married, this will be your budget planning trip for the future. Get as much information as you can.

Not saying you met this girl in unusual circumstances...but why is she not living at the large and comfortable home in kalasin? My gal's family owns rubber trees, 100 rai, and 8 out of 9 have purchased brand new cars for themselves and their children. However, I am being asked to pay for gas each time I go there. I do not own a home, property or new car (old truck worth 50,000). None of their vehicles have gas in them.

For goodness sake, just ask them about how much they actually own and how much credit they have out. It is very acceptable for them to ask you about your finances as well. Just recipricate.

[theyoungone]

As promised. Please excuse typos

We arrived at Khon Khan airport on a 45min flight from Bangkok and walked on runway to a small terminal building to collect our case

. We were met by my girlfriends mother, her aunt, her cousin and 4 kids. All were very pleased to meet us and a lot of big Wais were exchanged. We were quickly taken to the car park to find a waiting driver in a newish Nissan Navara. I was ushered into the passenger seat and the ladies sat in the back. The kids all sat on the flat bit at the back. I could tell it was a big adventure for them.

We went straight to the 'big C' shopping centre in Kalasin. My gf wanted to buy the kids lunch so we took them to kfc. The rest of her family went off separately to buy some food for our meal later. Only the kids ate lunch. I paid for the KFC and my gf suggested that we take some beers to the farm so we picked some up at a smaller shop on the way. On route to the farm they took us to see the dinosaur museum. We were driving for about 3 hours and the weather was really bad so were unable to stop at many of the places that they took me to see. I could tell that they really wanted to show me these places. The rain was torrential and it was easy to see why Thailand has such dangerous roads, purely for the fact the the water just doesn't go anywhere and the roads turn into rivers within seconds. Luckily our driver slowed right down and allowed the other nutters on the road past. Some 'A' roads here have a hard shoulder but people use this and go down the road in the wrong direction!! Also moped riders randomly cross the road just moments away from oncoming traffic in both directions. Its absolute madness! My girl friend said our driver was a retired 'professional driver' and that he was the best man on the farm for the job. I took her word for it. And the fact he had a bretta gun club polo shirt on I wasn't going to start questioning his driving.

When we arrived at the farm everybody came in turn to greet me. Smiles all around. They cooked for me and we ate and drank beer with ice. We ate prawn fried rice and some sort of sweet fried pork ribs. It was mostly only me eating and I felt a bit awkward with everybody watching but I was starving and it was delicious. It quickly got dark and the noise from the animals got louder and louder. Gekkos lizards frogs and goodness knows what else started to make a deafening racket.

We were all sitting on a raised platform about 2 foot off the ground. I assume to prevent the water interrupting dinner after it rained. And boy does it rain there. As it got later some of the older men on the farm came out to drink and smoke their rollies. We exchanged baccy and tired to communicate as best we could. Beer and ice was the drink of choice. Where the ice came from I have no idea but it was there !

We then went for a walk at night into the darkness which was an adventure. We were taking photos of massive lizards with torches and camera and occasionally capturing their massive tongues catch flies and smaller bugs. They tried to show me the frogs but I didn't catch sight of any but they assured me they were there.

Then we were showed to our place to sleep for the night. It was a brand new house on a beautiful piece of land. It was empty inside and not finished. It had one bedroom which we stayed in and a toilet in a separate small building outside. We had lots of space and everybody came to offer us fans and stuff to sleep on. Everybody came to offer something and check that I was comfortable.

Before going to sleep it was time for a shower. It was actually a right laugh. The shower room/toilet was spotless and didn't smell. It was bug free and perfectly use able. The shower was just a large bucket of water and a smaller container to pour it over your head. My girlfriend was shy about this but it turned into a water fight and it was funny. As it was so hot the water was luke warm and not cold at all so it wasn’t as uncomfortable as you’d think.

I couldn't sleep all night due to the amount of noise from the animals. But dispute that it was actually quite peaceful. The closest I have ever been to nature in my life. A bit different to camping in the new forest anyway!!

At 4am about 20 chickens started making the standard cock a doodle doo... One after the other. I was expecting this but my gf was just smiling as she was just waiting for it to start. After that I was offered a delicious BBQ chicken breakfast that I wasn't expecting. Then we went to the temple. My gf asked me to buy fruit. A lot of fruit. She then proudly took me around the farm to meet all of the elders and offered them the fruit. We went to the older and more needy people and handed out the fruit. More wais exhanged. It cost me about 100bhat in total for the huge bags of grapes and lychees. The elders were so happy to receive them. Apparently that was the 'merit'.

Everybody was happy and going about their day. They all said they were surprised that I was young and not fat! I assume they must have seen other farang before but much older than me.

My gf took me on the back of a new looking scooter and showed me the farm. After that I gave the kids a small football each I got from the uk. About £2.50 each. They were extremely happy with them and wouldn't put them down for a second. They carried then around with them everywhere. My gfs mum gave me some sort of material I think I'm supposed to wear it. Apparently its hand made. Might use it as a table cloth. I gave her some English tea some posh soap set from marks & Spencer and some biscuits. She didn't look to impresses but I don't think she knew what it was.

We visited other parts of the farm and see everybody working ploughing etc. That looks like a real brutal days graft. The heat was insane at only 8am the t shirt had to come off. I was lying out relaxing on the raised platform dinner/sitting area and one of the cousins bought me a pillow and a coffee. We watched as everybody went about their day until it was time yo return to the airport. No scams. No cons. No requests for buffaloes or money everybody there took care of each other family or neighbour. I am missing them all so much now and really regret not staying longer. We gave been together for 18months now and I only wish that we would have visited the farm sooner.

Photos to follow!!

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[Dannyboy6]

I don't stay in Isaan unless I have ear plugs, my portable aircon, which I just bought at Macro, don't forget the Mosquito Racket...

[MJP]

Always, always build the 3 million baht house in the village before you visit. This saves all that Bear Grylls/adventure living and attendant misery and suffering.

Scope out the nearest KFC prior to travel.

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[Norlund]

First thing to do is go in the kitchen and have a look in the fridge, seems to be a common custom. If there is nothing you fancy take everyone out for a meal, always goes down well.

The problem with that is that they all are expecting you to do the same thing the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day. It will NEVER end. And if you say no they will probably call you a cheap Charlie.

[DepDavid]

Hey OP

You have heard from the experts and the trolls.

I am only going to give you one bit of advice.

Keep the Gf close by.

When in doubt find gf to get answer.

No matter what smile. Enjoy expect that yo will be sleeping in a seperate area and act surprised if it is any different.

Enjoy what they serve. Try a little bit no matter what.

Drink only bottled water that you unsnapped.

Remember this is her family and it is the same as if you were meeting a Brit gf family. You are in love with her and will not if she is out of the UK be seeing that much of them.

This trip is not for your benefit. It is strictly her show from start to finish. She is bringing her BF home so that Mom and Dad can see how handsome and smart you are.

Do not let her down.

It is only for a few nights and days so live with it.

do not have the holier than thou attitude that some expats have.

You are in Rome an when in Rome .........

Having been there done that... clearly this post is the best advice. Be yourself. Don't drink too much. Keep your eyes open and be careful. The family will be proud and love you.

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[Aussie88]

It's good to see that you enjoyed your self it would seem you went to a lot of trouble for just a one night stay.

I spent a couple of weeks in Kalasin last year and enjoyed my stay there.I was not staying on a farm and was only about a fifteen minute ride from town. I also went to the dinosaur museum and found that to be of a high standard equal to any I have been to here in Oz. I liked that your actually able to see the excavation where they are removing the fossils from.

I have plans of returning later in the year for a much longer stay and am looking forward to having a few beers at Scott's Bar.

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[bander]

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First thing to do is go in the kitchen and have a look in the fridge, seems to be a common custom. If there is nothing you fancy take everyone out for a meal, always goes down well.

The problem with that is that they all are expecting you to do the same thing the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day. It will NEVER end. And if you say no they will probably call you a cheap Charlie.

Been there done it, if you ask me to go there again? Hell no. My farewell gift from the family was a huge bill from the local mom & dad supermarket. No Cheap Charlie comment though :-)