Just kinda on a bummer, married life.

[Maipenraika]

Heyyoufarang, life no matter where you live will throw u curve balls,it's how u deal with them that makes the difference. Sounds like you've got a lot of spare time on your hands,Go volunteer,it is very rewarding,you'll meet people in far worse situations and make your "problem" seem insignificant, or if that's not your thing,join a sports club, study, you can do that online,or swap your English skills for thai language skills. Or you can just thank your lucky stars she doesn't have another "Falang" she's rushing home to. It happens more often than you think,or even her thai husband. I think you may also be lonely,how long have u lived in Thailand? Not easy in a country with a culture very different from the west. A few ideas for you.

[bosun]

Just intrigued by why you both, as smart, younger (than most of us) people didn't figure out to get a place near her work?

I think you have found the solutions already but please if you have time , tell us what is so much better in your town than hers?

and why she didn't suggest it? I know it's a bit nosey but I am perplexed.

[lumply]

A baby maybe ?

A baby in such circumstances is definitely NOT the solution. Babies add to any existing problem(s).

[ghworker2010]

Im in the same situation as you OP as my lady works in a hospital 30km away- not as far as 50km but far enough. She comes home tired but still has energy to work at 2 private clinics in the afternoons on different days and on weekends.

Why don't you make the effort once a week to drive the 50km to her work and have lunch with her for 1 hour. All civil servants get the allocated lunch break. It would go down well.

If she is due to start her residency next year I assume she is 26 now or 27? Next year you can write about how you never see your wife because she spends 10 hours a day at uni. Be prepared to accept that you take 3rd place in her life.... 1. her family. 2. her career / study 3. you

Have a baby dude. It will bring meaning to your relationship

[Nautilus05]

I think you may want to prepare yourself for the fact that your wife has someone else in her life.

It was going to be something along those lines or something about her "job" that was bound to be brought up.

It's quite sad the number of cynics in this forum.

But then, I understand how some have been bitten and are now resentful of those that have good relationships with good women.

It's a pity though that when a genuine guy like the OP has to take these depressing kinds of statements when all he really wants is some advice and to be allowed to vent.

Not trying to be rude, but if I just got married 6 months ago, then only seen my wife a couple times a week because she's too busy for me, I'd be a little concerned (plus probably pissed off and hurt).

I'd definitely be sitting down with my honey, and asking what's up? Assuming she genuinely wanted the relationship to work, I'd be hauling ass to do whatever is necessary to make that happen. Whether that's moving to another town, or hauling ass to start a new company and provide a solid financial foundation so she doesn't have to constantly exhaust herself to fatigue all the time, or whatever.

I don't know, I'm not in the OPs shoes, but someone is dropping the ball here. Whether or not the wife wants the ball to be dropped is another question I would be asking myself.

[blazes]

Under no circumstances have a baby. That would be the death of the marriage. Besides, you would be ruining her career prospcts. And there are far too many of us human beings on this small planet already......Ignore the advice to procreate.

[heyyoufarang]

Just intrigued by why you both, as smart, younger (than most of us) people didn't figure out to get a place near her work?

I think you have found the solutions already but please if you have time , tell us what is so much better in your town than hers?

and why she didn't suggest it? I know it's a bit nosey but I am perplexed.

When I first moved I followed a job, a job that was 2.5 hours away by car. The idea that that was SO much closer than being in the states didn't seem too bad. Also, there was a guy in that town is a mountain biker like myself. We realized that was too far away, so i moved to a much bigger town where I had already spend months living on and off while visiting here from the States. So I was already grounded in this town. There is bicycle club here too where I can put the hammer on the bike.

She did suggest that I move to where she is, but she is sensitive to not make me feel any pressure. She knows this transition is a huge move for me. She wants to support any decision I choose to make. Yes we are both young, and doing this for the first time....Both of us, guys. This town is better because there is more opportunity for me. More jobs, more farangs, despite them being usually older than me. I have tried to befriend a couple guys around my age, but I don't drink and can't really get into the hanging out and bars thing.

I am going to talk with her and reevaluate whether I should move to her town, or not. But mostly, like some of you said, I am just bored. I am an adreniline junky. I have teaching myself to read and write Thai, but swapping English for Thai lessons would be a good thing to do for me. I just picked a job today at a tutoring school, so that will for sure help the boredom.

Edited April 17, 2014 by heyyoufarang

[yourauntbob]

you need to change the working/living situation. money isnt everything, its not even that important once you start cutting out the riduclous crap most people buy these days. 600 USD for a phone? for what? so you can play solitaire in color.

find somewhere you both dont mind living and focus more on each other and less on all the other stuff.

[Banshee]

You say you don't really need to work, in that case you don't really need to stay where you are.

I would never work if I did not have to, or be away from my wife if I did not have to, and you stated you don't really have to work so the situation you are complaining about May be of your own creation.

Leave the job you don't need and go to her.

[Showbags]

Does she wear the uniform when she comes home ?

Could she borrow a doctors outfit ?

[Banshee]

Photos in uniform to prove this stories genuine please.

[Tatsujin]

Has this "working all hours" situation changed since you were married, or was it the same during your (I'm sure) lengthy dating/engagement/getting to know you period?

When we met she was in school which was a full, full time commitment. School plus externing all night. When she started working two years ago they lay it on thick for the doctors. The gov sends them where they are needed and all they do is live in a dorm at the hospital and work. So our whole relationship has been like this thus far. We take time off for little getaways here and there, which is RAD.

So it's been like this from day 1? So what's changed? What's the problem?

[heyyoufarang]

Wow guys. I couldn't help it. I gave her the link to this thread. She is cracking up and cannot believe some the comments. Seriously, photos? Is she faking being a doctor? Is that surprising that someone could actually be married to a woman that is a doctor. This is unreal. You guys are a crackpot, man. Good stuff here, a little pathetic, but entertaining nonetheless. Borrowing the doctor's clothes. OMG!!!! 5555, awesome bro, just too good.

[heyyoufarang]

Photos in uniform to prove this stories genuine please.

Is this for real? Really, photos? Like I would post photos with some of the people on this thread. Yeah let me exploit my relationship because I have something to prove to people I don't even know. What the hell man? You post photos of your wife. Just unreal. Why am I even responding? I didn't even want to mention it because I was afraid some weirdness would come about, low and behold. I have nothing to defend here, brother. Peace.

Edited April 17, 2014 by heyyoufarang

[heyyoufarang]

Has this "working all hours" situation changed since you were married, or was it the same during your (I'm sure) lengthy dating/engagement/getting to know you period?

When we met she was in school which was a full, full time commitment. School plus externing all night. When she started working two years ago they lay it on thick for the doctors. The gov sends them where they are needed and all they do is live in a dorm at the hospital and work. So our whole relationship has been like this thus far. We take time off for little getaways here and there, which is RAD.

So it's been like this from day 1? So what's changed? What's the problem?

Yeah pretty much. There is no real problem. I was feeling lonely and a little depressed and wanted to chat with some other guys about relationships and Thailand. That's it. I sure got what I was asking for. Thanks guys.

[Showbags]

we are a caring and sharing kinda crowd.

next

[heyyoufarang]

we are a caring and sharing kinda crowd.

next

555! I can feel the butterflies . Good night good people of the world. Thanks for some of the advice. I value some of it.

[Banshee]

Photos in uniform to prove this stories genuine please.

Is this for real? Really, photos? Like I would post photos with some of the people on this thread. Yeah let me exploit my relationship because I have something to prove to people I don't even know. What the hell man? You post photos of your wife. Just unreal. Why am I even responding? I didn't even want to mention it because I was afraid some weirdness would come about, low and behold. I have nothing to defend here, brother. Peace.

Some friendless advice, thai woman love to laugh, they have a wicked sense of humour, think about that before you head back to her.

I see my post went straight over your head mr happy.

[Datebayo]

Make her pregnant, that will shift the work obligations to the baby.

[HeavyDrinker]

Photos in uniform to prove this stories genuine please.

I wouldn't worry about silly nonsense like this. There is a bitter element here who get into a froth of envious rage that other people have wives who are gainfully employed and not working 'the scene'....sad really...

[Scarpolo]

I think you may want to prepare yourself for the fact that your wife has someone else in her life.

It was going to be something along those lines or something about her "job" that was bound to be brought up.

It's quite sad the number of cynics in this forum.

But then, I understand how some have been bitten and are now resentful of those that have good relationships with good women.

It's a pity though that when a genuine guy like the OP has to take these depressing kinds of statements when all he really wants is some advice and to be allowed to vent.

Yes thanks, mate. When I read that it didn't even make sense to me at first. I just felt pissed off. The deal is she is a medical doctor. I thought I was prepared to handle the stresses of being married to a person with that much responsibility. I respect ther so very much and I deliberately do things for her that make her life as pleasent as i can. But it's hard. She gone a lot, tired on the time she has off. She is young and must have so much stress but hides it well. She has to balance me with her family and career. I don't know what i expected to get from anyone on this forum. I don't have many people to really talk to around here, and I just want to get some things out in writing I guess.

Forcing a young medical doctor to then drive for over an hour to get to her bed, and her mate, is a recipe for disaster in every way.

She needs to be able to walk home, and if you come back and state she has a place to live already there, and you arent in it, then,

no one can help you

[Greg Nixon]

I go to my wife's work whenever I want and stay as long as i want while she works. That is not very often but just enough to build trust and show i care. I sometimes go and take her to lunch or to a restaurant after work. I occasionally take her flowers. It is not all about what the wife does but also about what you do. We sometimes use daylight hours to pay bills together, go to the pharmacy or go to the daughters school. After some time with the same woman romance can cool but you must reignite it. Women love to be pursued. Men love to chase. See if you can reignite her passion.

While the wife works, I wash the clothes, maintain the garden, paint the house, plan for improvements to her property, clean the house and tidy.

If you reenergise yourself you will be more attractive.

[joshstiles]

What were you thinking before you were married? What kind of "dreamy-eyed" plan did you have? Perhaps the problem was in the planning stage....and obviously still lingers there.... And lastly, where is the money coming from in your 'wonderful' relationship? Do you have the bulk of the money or does she? Money always dictates the relationship....of course there may be many who disagree and those same people will try to campaign for "love".....but try to remember.....this is thailand. Money is God. For those insulted by this reply....grow up and check out reality for a change.

[Scarpolo]

What were you thinking before you were married? What kind of "dreamy-eyed" plan did you have? Perhaps the problem was in the planning stage....and obviously still lingers there.... And lastly, where is the money coming from in your 'wonderful' relationship? Do you have the bulk of the money or does she? Money always dictates the relationship....of course there may be many who disagree and those same people will try to campaign for "love".....but try to remember.....this is thailand. Money is God. For those insulted by this reply....grow up and check out reality for a change.

love without money is the cry of the young,

get a girl at 30, and its love and money, only.

same as in America.

I met a girl from Kentucky in a men's tailor shop in Beverly Hills,

any man that spoke to her, she asked their net worth, and then gave numbers, 5 million, ten million, then almost sheepishly she would say,

less than 5???????????

she eventually met a rich guy, got married and pregnant, and now screws around in florida, on the old guy that bought her

[Banshee]

Photos in uniform to prove this stories genuine please.

I wouldn't worry about silly nonsense like this. There is a bitter element here who get into a froth of envious rage that other people have wives who are gainfully employed and not working 'the scene'....sad really...

Hhmmmm, another with no sense of humour, come on heavy drinker it was a joke.

Insinuating my wife works the scene is a bit below the belt and very very shallow and cowardly.

[gmac]

A baby maybe ?

Cracking answer that one! Takes away the tiny little bit of time they had together as the wife will give it all to the baby.

[heyyoufarang]

I go to my wife's work whenever I want and stay as long as i want while she works. That is not very often but just enough to build trust and show i care. I sometimes go and take her to lunch or to a restaurant after work. I occasionally take her flowers. It is not all about what the wife does but also about what you do. We sometimes use daylight hours to pay bills together, go to the pharmacy or go to the daughters school. After some time with the same woman romance can cool but you must reignite it. Women love to be pursued. Men love to chase. See if you can reignite her passion.

While the wife works, I wash the clothes, maintain the garden, paint the house, plan for improvements to her property, clean the house and tidy.

If you reenergise yourself you will be more attractive.

Hey Greg, I like your style. I want on the shits yesterday. I visit my wife often. Just show up at work with a gift and loving smile. There is a room there that I can use with computer, internet, couches and TV. Her apartment is within walking distance. It's actaully a nice setup. And i think some people misunderstood. I don't make my wife do anything, I support her in what she wants to do. If she wants to drive here and see me after work, I support that. If she is too tired to make the haul then so be it. There is always tomorrow.

Some other people mentioned many married people find themselves in this situation, and that is true. It is not permenant, afterall. Her parents house is exactly halfway between where I live and where she works, so often knocks two birds out with one stone so to speak.

Yes I need to reeengergise myself. I have been on a negative the last week, perhaps this being my fist Songkran kick that off. I was not prepared to get doused, and with as much as I ride my bike by day three I was OVER IT. Anyway, back on the up swing. Great advice, Greg.

[heyyoufarang]

What were you thinking before you were married? What kind of "dreamy-eyed" plan did you have? Perhaps the problem was in the planning stage....and obviously still lingers there.... And lastly, where is the money coming from in your 'wonderful' relationship? Do you have the bulk of the money or does she? Money always dictates the relationship....of course there may be many who disagree and those same people will try to campaign for "love".....but try to remember.....this is thailand. Money is God. For those insulted by this reply....grow up and check out reality for a change.

I pull more than she does. And you're right, I am dreamy eyed--the world in rose colored lenses really really does describe me--but that's just me. God damn the cynics on this forum. It's addicting to read how misreable some of you are. I need to stop, it's like a guilty pleasure. MONEY IS GOOOOOD Money is God is the motto for those people who need to worry about money, good luck chap.

Edited April 18, 2014 by heyyoufarang

[Showbags]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

Photos in uniform to prove this stories genuine please.

I wouldn't worry about silly nonsense like this. There is a bitter element here who get into a froth of envious rage that other people have wives who are gainfully employed and not working 'the scene'....sad really...

Hhmmmm, another with no sense of humour, come on heavy drinker it was a joke.

Insinuating my wife works the scene is a bit below the belt and very very shallow and cowardly.

Some people have it removed by choice...marriage....others just never have it to begin with.

[heyyoufarang]

Photos in uniform to prove this stories genuine please.

Is this for real? Really, photos? Like I would post photos with some of the people on this thread. Yeah let me exploit my relationship because I have something to prove to people I don't even know. What the hell man? You post photos of your wife. Just unreal. Why am I even responding? I didn't even want to mention it because I was afraid some weirdness would come about, low and behold. I have nothing to defend here, brother. Peace.

Some friendless advice, thai woman love to laugh, they have a wicked sense of humour, think about that before you head back to her.

I see my post went straight over your head mr happy.

Wait...wait...wait. Let me get a pencil....Hang on, bro. OK, let make sure I got this down right. "Women love to laaffff." Crap....wait... "Thai women love to laugh." OK I think I got that? Is that correct? Be sure I got that down correctly before I screw up my whole relationship.