classic boy meets girl with limited language skills.

[BlackArtemis]

Ways I have gotten numbers

Doing my banking all in Thai

Joking around with the waitstaff on a slow day (It's critical you only do this when the opportunity opens itself. Never force a waitstaff girl into a flirtatious convo, unless she's basically hired to do so)

Doing errands and having to speak Thai and having to go through all the "why can you speak Thai, how long have you been here, etc etc"

But my favorite is a Thai bar with live music

2 simple ways, I hit the bar and buy a beer next to some cute girls and ask them if I could chill there as the band is quite good.

Learn the harmonies to some Thai classics like Silly Fools, etc and shout em out, not only does this break the ice with everyone around you, you get invited to tables, meet new people, and then expand your circle of friends. They might have some cute single girls there or know of some.

(I am 32, so sorry if this doesn't help! It actually doesn't help me anymore as I am not single anymore)

[sdanielmcev]

It seems to be the same here as with anywhere else I've been. And, I'm a very beginner with Thai. I had a harder time talking to Australians back in Houston.

[MrWorldwide]

It seems to be the same here as with anywhere else I've been. And, I'm a very beginner with Thai. I had a harder time talking to Australians back in Houston.

Mate, I'm not up on the demographics of Houston but are we talking a particularly sizeable proportion of the population ?? London or LA - sure - but Houston, TX ?

[BlackArtemis]

Ways I have...

Jesus, you sound like a complete jackass! Ask if you can chill there? Why have to ask them anything...its a public place, idiot. So you can speak Thai and you're 32....so what? So can millions of other people. How can your new partner not throw up when they have to listen to you speak? Shout out harmonies to break the ice? Why not just shut up in case someone shuts it for you?

I was about to break it down further explaining what I meant / the situations. But then I asked myself why I cared about what someone on the internet thought about me.

[sdanielmcev]

It seems to be the same here as with anywhere else I've been. And, I'm a very beginner with Thai. I had a harder time talking to Australians back in Houston.

Mate, I'm not up on the demographics of Houston but are we talking a particularly sizeable proportion of the population ?? London or LA - sure - but Houston, TX ?

Not particularly sizeable. The few that I know of use a lot "Australiansisms(?)" Besides, couldn't resist the dig at them.

[Beetlejuice]

It's one thing to be walking your dog in the park and to start talking with another person also walking a dog. Great ice breaker. It's quite another just to plop down next to someone who is quietly using her smartphone alone on a bench and strike up a conversation.

I sometimes eat lunch alone at the food court at a mall near our condo. Almost always a young lone Thai woman on her lunch break will ask to join me -- an older western woman. Not to talk, just to sit at the same table. They're trying to avoid the older western guys who cruise around the food court, looking for young Thai women who were unfortunate enough to have to eat lunch without friends. Yes, I too have the seen look of terror in their faces when some old white guy (remember this is Chiang Mai, all the white guys at this mall are old) sits down at their table and strikes up a conversation.

I agree but would like to explain this in another way.

I think for young people striking up conversations with strangers of the opposite sex is not a problem. I actually met my first English wife back in the early 1970s, I was 19 and she was 19, in London at a bus stop. I started chatting to her and we dated later on that evening.

But of course there is a stigma, especially these days regarding older men trying to make conversation with much younger women. The guy is automatically regarded as a pervert or a dirty old man and is considered taboo by society. This is one of the main reasons I believe why so many older men, especially the single guys, but many marrieds also, use the services of prostitutes, because it`s probably the only way they are going to have any sort of relationships with desirable women, even if it is only short time and we could consider that forming friendships or relationships with young women are really out of bounds to them, unless it becomes a money thing, because society frowns upon it as I guess you do by what you have mentioned in your post.

To answer the OP`s question, if he is young or youngish and presentable, I do not think he would have any problems making conversations with Thai women, even with limited Thai language skills. I doubt that any would take offence and some will probably welcome the attentions and charms of a nice Western guy.

[wprime]

Ways I have...

Jesus, you sound like a complete jackass! Ask if you can chill there? Why have to ask them anything...its a public place, idiot. So you can speak Thai and you're 32....so what? So can millions of other people. How can your new partner not throw up when they have to listen to you speak? Shout out harmonies to break the ice? Why not just shut up in case someone shuts it for you?

I was about to break it down further explaining what I meant / the situations. But then I asked myself why I cared about what someone on the internet thought about me.

Based on the negativity of his response, do you realistically believe he could do what you do if you explained it fully anyway? He will no doubt be one of the "I have to pay for it, therefore everyone else pays for it" crowd.

[smileydude]

Thai men normally do not do this as it would freak most women out.

I guess you can get away with it when your a farang. Actually you can get away with a lot of different ways of approaching girls when your a farang because they assume your from a different culture and excused of any ignorance...but this does not make you immune to weird baffled looks or the occasional rejection.

Don't be surprised if girls are taken aback. It doesn't necessarily mean they are not interested just rather surprised.

I'd normally be concerned though if a thai women were overtly friendly and chatty.

If you are one of those gifted men who can read body language signals then you'll be okay.

I can't read for crap.

[Thaiberius]

Ways I have...

Jesus, you sound like a complete jackass! Ask if you can chill there? Why have to ask them anything...its a public place, idiot. So you can speak Thai and you're 32....so what? So can millions of other people. How can your new partner not throw up when they have to listen to you speak? Shout out harmonies to break the ice? Why not just shut up in case someone shuts it for you?

I was about to break it down further explaining what I meant / the situations. But then I asked myself why I cared about what someone on the internet thought about me.

Based on the negativity of his response, do you realistically believe he could do what you do if you explained it fully anyway? He will no doubt be one of the "I have to pay for it, therefore everyone else pays for it" crowd.

Some people prefer paying for sex. Having no desire to enter into a committed relationship, maybe having been through the mill in a divorce, an unwillingness to have somebody around all the time, a desire to be selfish and autonomous. It's not an easy catch-all statement to say just because somebody pays for sex they are somehow socially inept. Some people can't be bothered with the chase or the effort needed to sustain a relationship. Everybody is different, you can't pigeonhole them. There is the alternative argument that those who desire a relationship are weak individuals, frightened of being on their own where having somebody there to act as a sounding board, domestic help, lover, confidante is a comfort. Not coming down on one side or the other but it's worth mentioning there are two sides to a story.

[Greg Nixon]

Just say , " Pom yak kun. " and see where it goes from there. This is the traditional polite way of saying, " Do you want sex ? "

I have tried it and if the person does not want you they just ignore the suggestion. Not like the occidental world where women get angry. It may take a few times of "Pom yak kun " before the desired response is elicited. If you prefer to be a little more gentile say, " Pom kit, pom rak kun. "

If you want to know how she feels about you say, " Kun chop pom mae ? " If she smiles at you your in. If every time you have met she smiles at you that is a big invite. She has already given you something that is very personal - her smile.

In the ape world members of the opposite sex sometimes stretch and show their armpits as a form of regard. . We are naked apes. Females often do not do this but nothing stopping you from showing yours. Use deodorant.

You like to see women's flesh. Women enjoy seeing yours. Remove as much of your clothing that the occasion allows. Thais love white skin. It is a status symbol.

[choochoo]

You say you've lived in Thailand for years? Thai women aren't aliens, even though they may sometimes seem like it. Of course you can ask them on dates, it happens all the time. I've taken girls out from my condo block, hotel, in the bank etc etc over the years. Just smile and ask, never been knocked back and I'm not a young handsome man. We generally go for dinner, to a sky bar when in Bangkok or a walk around. It's nice and it's what males and females do.

Do you ever wonder why young girls go out with NOT A YOUNG MAN. Sorry but i just dont see young girls having the hots for old man..............lol.

Its not the same -boys and girls - interelationally dating in thailand.

[wprime]

You say you've lived in Thailand for years? Thai women aren't aliens, even though they may sometimes seem like it. Of course you can ask them on dates, it happens all the time. I've taken girls out from my condo block, hotel, in the bank etc etc over the years. Just smile and ask, never been knocked back and I'm not a young handsome man. We generally go for dinner, to a sky bar when in Bangkok or a walk around. It's nice and it's what males and females do.

Do you ever wonder why young girls go out with NOT A YOUNG MAN. Sorry but i just dont see young girls having the hots for old man..............lol.

Its not the same -boys and girls - interelationally dating in thailand.

Then you haven't been in Thailand for very long.

[55Jay]

That doesn't sound like a classic boy meets girl scenario. The most common one is:

(queue lovely piano music) Boy walks dog in a BKK green area and, oops, it "accidentally" gets off the lead. Odds are it will run over to another dog who's owner just so happens to be a half Caucasian Thai female fashion model randomly walking her dog at the same time. In the process of stopping the dogs from shagging each other, they both fall to the grass laughing, then stare longingly into each others' eyes. It may or may not suddenly start to rain but in the interest of time, a frantic, drama filled love affair ensues, against all odds due to the glaring caste differences that emerge. Eventually her hi-so mother will drive a wedge between them by secretly visiting the guy and offering him 100,000 Baht to leave the daughter alone. He takes the money, rips it up and tosses it back in the mother's face, then storms off to work at Makro where he tells his mates what happened. They tell him to forget it, the girl is simply out of his league.

The girl carries on with her successful modeling career while he gets on with work and spends his nights brooding in his 1,000/mo sweat box studio condo with one light bulb and a fan, drowning his sorrow and Hong Thong and soda water. He ends up crashing his motorbike, she somehow finds out and she rushes to the hospital, falling into his arms in a flood of tears and kisses. She then realizes what's really important in life, quits her job, shuns her family and the two live happily ever after.

Happens all the time. Get a dog. Chicks dig it.

[casualposter]

Just say , " Pom yak kun. " and see where it goes from there. This is the traditional polite way of saying, " Do you want sex ? "

I have tried it and if the person does not want you they just ignore the suggestion. Not like the occidental world where women get angry. It may take a few times of "Pom yak kun " before the desired response is elicited. If you prefer to be a little more gentile say, " Pom kit, pom rak kun. "

If you want to know how she feels about you say, " Kun chop pom mae ? " If she smiles at you your in. If every time you have met she smiles at you that is a big invite. She has already given you something that is very personal - her smile.

You like to see women's flesh. Women enjoy seeing yours. Remove as much of your clothing that the occasion allows. Thais love white skin. It is a status symbol.

Surely this is a joke.

[somchaismith]

Back in the 2000s my mate and I both had Yahoo messenger and were regulars in the Thai chat rooms. We each had hundreds of girls as friends on our messengers. My friend came to Thailand and arranged dates with about 50 of these chicks and had a good time with most of them, on those first dates. So, yes it is possible. the common thing the shared, I guess, was the love of Yahoo chat.

Edited May 7, 2014 by somchaismith

[ajarnyai]

Back in the 2000s my mate and I both had Yahoo messenger and were regulars in the Thai chat rooms. We each had hundreds of girls as friends on our messengers. My friend came to Thailand and arranged dates with about 50 of these chicks and had a good time with most of them, on those first dates. So, yes it is possible. the common thing the shared, I guess, was the love of Yahoo chat.

Cool, but all the chance and spontanaety stuff that I talked about seems to get a bit ruined when you go to a chat room looking to meet people. No offense to you, but I must say that peoples ability answer a simple question is surprisingly low.

I guess the topic wasn't controversial enough.

[thaibeachlovers]

Not sure if this is relevant, but hey, it's one of those threads, right!

At the local restaurant where I go to get a takeaway box of fried rice occasionally, I asked one of the waitresses for the restaurant phone number so I could phone in my order rather than having to wait every time. She came back with a number on a piece of paper, but became very embarrassed when she realised I hadn't asked for her own phone number .

Have to admit that I would have been tempted to call her, as she was very cute, but my wife would probably have objected, LOL.

[ttthailand]

Some people on here are totally out of touch or are just as-holes. They think if you are older and speak to a younger lady there is something wrong with you... get a life !!! It has nothing to do with age, it has to do with looks and charm. I am over 50 and live in Bkk. Young lovely ladies, girls, look and smile at me all the time everywhere I go. I smile a lot anyway but if I am truly interested my smile is even bigger and a short line... Perhaps " how are you?" Is spoken. It is almost always returned and if I wish to go further it is welcomed. Just the other day I got onto the BTS and a lovely girl stepped on just in front of me. Our eyes met and she smiled. I was on my cell phone and she on her's but at the next stop the door opened and a few more people came in and she moved right next to me. As she looked very lovely and was dressed up for something I commented her on the way she looked. She said thank you and asked where I was from. We chatted a little and then I needed to say goodbye as I was at my stop. The look of disappointment in her eye said it all.... If I really wanted to get to know her more it would have been so easy. The only thing I say is you need to smile. If you are interested in someone then look their way a few times and if they look back with a smile then that is the opening you need to make the next step. I would never just walk up to a girl who has not noticed me or smiled and just try to talk. I have however asked a question to girls before that has started conversations.

[HeavyDrinker]

I just love the fact that some TEFLer with a bit of an over inflated sense of his own importance (ajarn yai! REALLY?? ) thinks he can strike up a conversation with some random woman willy nilly on a park bench and she'll fall at his knees for his 30,000 Baht a month salary and his skills in 'teaching' disinterested kindergarten kids how to say "A is for Apple" over and over again. It's not a rare story

My advice is to get a real job and salary then watch the crumpet line up.

[HooHaa]

It's one thing to be walking your dog in the park and to start talking with another person also walking a dog. Great ice breaker. It's quite another just to plop down next to someone who is quietly using her smartphone alone on a bench and strike up a conversation.

I sometimes eat lunch alone at the food court at a mall near our condo. Almost always a young lone Thai woman on her lunch break will ask to join me -- an older western woman. Not to talk, just to sit at the same table. They're trying to avoid the older western guys who cruise around the food court, looking for young Thai women who were unfortunate enough to have to eat lunch without friends. Yes, I too have the seen look of terror in their faces when some old white guy (remember this is Chiang Mai, all the white guys at this mall are old) sits down at their table and strikes up a conversation.

I agree but would like to explain this in another way.

I think for young people striking up conversations with strangers of the opposite sex is not a problem. I actually met my first English wife back in the early 1970s, I was 19 and she was 19, in London at a bus stop. I started chatting to her and we dated later on that evening.

But of course there is a stigma, especially these days regarding older men trying to make conversation with much younger women. The guy is automatically regarded as a pervert or a dirty old man and is considered taboo by society. This is one of the main reasons I believe why so many older men, especially the single guys, but many marrieds also, use the services of prostitutes, because it`s probably the only way they are going to have any sort of relationships with desirable women, even if it is only short time and we could consider that forming friendships or relationships with young women are really out of bounds to them, unless it becomes a money thing, because society frowns upon it as I guess you do by what you have mentioned in your post.

To answer the OP`s question, if he is young or youngish and presentable, I do not think he would have any problems making conversations with Thai women, even with limited Thai language skills. I doubt that any would take offence and some will probably welcome the attentions and charms of a nice Western guy.

so what you are really saying is that you are well past it, have no idea, but will speculate anyway.

thanks for coming out.

[Berkshire]

You like to see women's flesh. Women enjoy seeing yours. Remove as much of your clothing that the occasion allows. Thais love white skin. It is a status symbol.

Thai women mostly like white skin on themselves. As for your old, wrinkly, chaff, discolored skin...don't think so.

[Thaiberius]

A smile, a little bit of Thai and confidence goes a long way regardless of how old or handsome you are.

[Somtamnication]

Girl: me friend you!

Boy: I buy gold you!

Girl: u hansum man!

Boy: u small tits!

[geronimo]

You are a male, she's a female. If you can communicate in one language then all is possible. The great thing about life sometimes is to not know how things will turn out, just go with it, without thinking too much about what others might do / feel / think. If there is an attraction between you, it will manifest itself and how you deal with that will determine the direction it goes in.

Classic boy needs to be classic in as much as he has the courage to follow his heart!

[ajarnyai]

I just love the fact that some TEFLer with a bit of an over inflated sense of his own importance (ajarn yai! REALLY?? ) thinks he can strike up a conversation with some random woman willy nilly on a park bench and she'll fall at his knees for his 30,000 Baht a month salary and his skills in 'teaching' disinterested kindergarten kids how to say "A is for Apple" over and over again. It's not a rare story

My advice is to get a real job and salary then watch the crumpet line up.

It took more than 50 responses for the sparing to begin, and that's the best you got.

Comments about my 193 cm 220 kg frame is where the nickname came from smartass.

You could have shown some real wit and insulted my childish romantic fantasies or my naivete for thinking that "good basic Thai" is enough to hold a conversation, but instead you insult the honorable teaching profession here in Thailand. Shame on you.

Don't forget to include the obvious fat joke with your next parry and thrust.

[slipperylobster]

Well, let me tell you...., I walked into a furniture shop one day, smiled at one of the gals working there, had a short conversation....and by golly, it is almost three years now that we have been staying together.

Was not even looking for a girl to stay with...in fact, I was quite happy as I was...

happier now.

[DP25]

Just say , " Pom yak kun. " and see where it goes from there. This is the traditional polite way of saying, " Do you want sex ? "

I have tried it and if the person does not want you they just ignore the suggestion. Not like the occidental world where women get angry. It may take a few times of "Pom yak kun " before the desired response is elicited. If you prefer to be a little more gentile say, " Pom kit, pom rak kun. "

If you want to know how she feels about you say, " Kun chop pom mae ? " If she smiles at you your in. If every time you have met she smiles at you that is a big invite. She has already given you something that is very personal - her smile.

In the ape world members of the opposite sex sometimes stretch and show their armpits as a form of regard. . We are naked apes. Females often do not do this but nothing stopping you from showing yours. Use deodorant.

You like to see women's flesh. Women enjoy seeing yours. Remove as much of your clothing that the occasion allows. Thais love white skin. It is a status symbol.

This is great advice for picking up chicks at the Soi 7 Beer Garden