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Integrating into the Thai culture


Hal65

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I was having a little fun above with the quote often attributed to (but actually mis-attributed to) former US VP Dan Quayle that following his trip to Latin America he wished he had studied Latin harder in school so he could've talked with the people.

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Thais really like it when i can speak some of their language. Integration or assimilation ? I cannot keep my house that dirty; it grosses me out. I cannot sit interminably in my property without improving it. I do not have a mia noi but a lover might be OK. I could not work for $6/day - its against my religion. I could not hang meaningless pictures in my house. I could not drive like an idiot or a complete jerkv- too long have I had good defensive driving habits. I could not keep 2 or 3 dogs who bark all night and crap in front in front of my neighbours I just do not need the aggravation and I respect my neighbours too much. Icould not live without showing public affection - not even holding hands. Check it out - no kisses , no hugs and those sad sour faces of the old ladies. I cannot live without empathy.

Do not get me wrong, i respect the Thai culture and want to find out more about them and even speak and think like they do so I can understand them. Be like them - not on your life. I like Thailand because i do not feel like big brother is watching me. My neighbours do not want to report me to the police or control me. My biggest fine in 3 years in Thailand has been $ 4 whereas in Canada it would be very difficult to avoid an $80 to $200 fine every year. Radar cameras, red light cameras and automated parking fines are all designed to control your every move in Canada.

I like how my Thai family needs me. I like the respect i am shown here as opposed to little or none by many in Canada. Respect inconsideration of my needs or wants. Respect in the great meals prepared for me. Even respect by my local immigration authorities. Respect from my doctor and the hospitals. Respect in the bedroom. Asian women are particularly good with sex and let you know how much they want it.

I have a 9 inch member in a world with a 4 inch average.

Thailand is great.

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Thais really like it when i can speak some of their language. Integration or assimilation ? I cannot keep my house that dirty; it grosses me out. I cannot sit interminably in my property without improving it. I do not have a mia noi but a lover might be OK. I could not work for $6/day - its against my religion. I could not hang meaningless pictures in my house. I could not drive like an idiot or a complete jerkv- too long have I had good defensive driving habits. I could not keep 2 or 3 dogs who bark all night and crap in front in front of my neighbours I just do not need the aggravation and I respect my neighbours too much. Icould not live without showing public affection - not even holding hands. Check it out - no kisses , no hugs and those sad sour faces of the old ladies. I cannot live without empathy.

Do not get me wrong, i respect the Thai culture and want to find out more about them and even speak and think like they do so I can understand them. Be like them - not on your life. I like Thailand because i do not feel like big brother is watching me. My neighbours do not want to report me to the police or control me. My biggest fine in 3 years in Thailand has been $ 4 whereas in Canada it would be very difficult to avoid an $80 to $200 fine every year. Radar cameras, red light cameras and automated parking fines are all designed to control your every move in Canada.

I like how my Thai family needs me. I like the respect i am shown here as opposed to little or none by many in Canada. Respect inconsideration of my needs or wants. Respect in the great meals prepared for me. Even respect by my local immigration authorities. Respect from my doctor and the hospitals. Respect in the bedroom. Asian women are particularly good with sex and let you know how much they want it.

I have a 9 inch member in a world with a 4 inch average.

Thailand is great.

You live in a different Thailand than I. My house is spotless and we work on it every weekend adding things outside and inside to make it better. My wife drives too too slow. My dog craps in the vacant lot.

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Integrate into thai society? Many have tried...All failed.

Makes me wonder though what are thais so afraid of?

Because the fact that they don't accept anybody as one of their own is a fear based issue they should have dealt with a long time ago. Props to them to keep it real. They are narak555.

Hmmm, just got me to thinking. I am from a "western" culture. Many of our western cultures, while now made of peoples from many different cultures are now reacting to wishing to preserve what is commonly understood as their culture. Maybe the Thais are protective of their culture on the front end, consciously or subconsciously, knowing that their culture could be consumed by the ever expanding world culture. OK, I said, perhaps subconsciously, I realize that most folks in most nations react rather than giving it much thought. Finished ruminating now..

Sent from my GT-I9500 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

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I took the habit to bow my head slightly when squeezing through people in crowded spaces.

It's a bit like saying sorry for invading one's personal space.

A couple of times i caught myself doing it in my hometown, it seems i have absorbed this habit.

Just curious to know, do they do the same thing in other countries in Asia..? To the few that i've been, i haven't noticed.

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As many have stated, learn the language, dress sensibly and be happy! Never forget your roots and be proud of that!

Don't Wai the locals for crying out loud.... it's patronising and can offend if done incorrectly. A simple smile will always suffice.

You are farang in Thailand and will always be that!

Enjoy smile.png

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Hi, as others have said you will never be fully accepted no matter how well you speak, read, write, dress or act, in saying that you will be able to form some good friendships and it doesn't hurt to honour and respect their culture and ways whilst still being the individual you are smile.png

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As many have stated, learn the language, dress sensibly and be happy! Never forget your roots and be proud of that!

Don't Wai the locals for crying out loud.... it's patronising and can offend if done incorrectly. A simple smile will always suffice.

You are farang in Thailand and will always be that!

Enjoy smile.png

Sorry I don't like my roots.

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All these people making excuses why they can't integrate! Conviently gets them off the hook!

After all, integration is only expected of the little brown people who end up on our home shores! Not the white fella.

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As many have stated, learn the language, dress sensibly and be happy! Never forget your roots and be proud of that!

Don't Wai the locals for crying out loud.... it's patronising and can offend if done incorrectly. A simple smile will always suffice.

You are farang in Thailand and will always be that!

Enjoy smile.png

Sorry I don't like my roots.

That is unfortunate but what's more unfortunate is the fact that one can not change or forget them. No matter how "Thai" one tries to be.

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As many have stated, learn the language, dress sensibly and be happy! Never forget your roots and be proud of that!

Don't Wai the locals for crying out loud.... it's patronising and can offend if done incorrectly. A simple smile will always suffice.

You are farang in Thailand and will always be that!

Enjoy smile.png

Sorry I don't like my roots.

That is unfortunate but what's more unfortunate is the fact that one can not change or forget them. No matter how "Thai" one tries to be.

Whatever your origins, nationality or religion might be, whatever qualifications you may or may not have, whatever your social or professional status might be, whether you are married or single, the French Foreign Legion offers you a chance to start a new life...

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Turn it around and think about your homeland.

Immigrants that do not adapt to some of their host country's customs are demonised. Looked down upon and blamed for racial tension. By all means they can retain their dress and food, their religious beliefs, their celebrations (although some rednecks will condemn them for those things too), but some of the host's customs should be taken up. Language is a biggy, in my opinion, as communication is important.

Local ettiquette is important to adopt. Can you imagine what the average American/European/Anitpodean would feel about an immigrant who didn't learn what was considered good and bad manners and thus constantly offended people, albeit unknowingly?

Turn it around and ask yourself what you would like to see of immigrants/visitors in your homeland, and then don't follow a double standard.

Double standards everywhere. I'm from Germany where still many US, British and French Troops were/are stationed.

Many of them don't bother to learn the language or are trying to adopt in any way. They are accepted nevertheless.

Tourists from all over the world are accepted. (Soccer world championship).

Who is frowned upon are immigrants in the 2nd generation who still don't try to adapt.

We farang in Thailand are mostly seen as tourist and money spending people and not so much expected to adapt.

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On a report on the stickman Bangkok site , I read a report from a Thaiman living in USA , he makes a interview on the site and says , he have many farang friends , but when he together with thaifriends there are many thinks he would only talk with this friends and never with farangs also when are friends on a same level !

I recognized very often you have a discussion with Thais speak good English then other Thai friends come to the table , and the farang is hot air

Means , also when I please them to talk English , nothing will change, this happen all the time and not only one time!

I believe also when you speak Thai , the style making a secret or talking only the have side of the story will never change!

Thais are very curious , want know everything, but if you try to read them

It does not work on the same way in the other direction!

The best way I found, to copy there conduct, like a mirror of there own face!

First we have to difine what exactly

Thais understand with culture ?

For me it looks often a instrument to make pressure , when farang not do what smiling face want!

Edited by Sandman77
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»I don't expect the Thais to suddenly see me as one of their own, but I would like them to understand that I respect their culture and I'm willing to talk and act with them at their level.«

I agree with OP. I will always be a farang here, but I can learn about and respect the culture.

I will to a certain state integrate a bit enough to be accepted as part of the local community, but still being an alien that include greeting or wai, respect of the older locals and those of higher status, follow the basic norms on how to behave in Thailand, try to pick-up some of the language (little difficult, when Im still fighting for more than 50 years learning some English as second language).

It will not try to dress like a Thai or rather traditional Thai; firstly I have my (own) style I am and will always be a stranger, and many Thais do dress Western style and secondly I think it may look more weird or comic than acceptable; but thats for me, for others it may work perfect and be elegant to dress Thai.

In general I believe little integration is worth it, but of course depending of where you live and how much you intend to mingle with the locals and the local society. Its a question of finding a balance we are different individuals, so my balance may not work for others where you keep your identity, because you will always be a foreigner, but dont distance that much, so the locals dont let you in. I attend local events, especially when requested or invited for funerals (temple ceremony), parties, weddings etc.

I believe its worth integrating a bit into the Thai culture and be accepted most of the locals know my name and wai me (first, even elder I should show respect for): »Sawadee khun Per sa baai dii mai?« wai2.gif

I am not sure that learning to respect the culture is that complicated. Its like transporting yourself back to brideshead revisited and then just make sure you acknowledge your elders.

Of course, then of course you have the added bonus of having then jumped in with both feet to "respect" the culture, that you have to learn that you aren't in any way then allowed to question anything.

Things such as " why does everyone wai that bloke, he's a thriving corrupt government bloke".

Or, if you are all so conservative how come uncle somchai pretends that his daughter is in a factory when everyone knows that she's in a brothel.

Or, why is it OK for everyone to drive home completely smashed when it's incredibly selfish and stupid.

So u see, getting involved with Thai culture involves getting yourself into leaving ur morals and brains at the airport.

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»I don't expect the Thais to suddenly see me as one of their own, but I would like them to understand that I respect their culture and I'm willing to talk and act with them at their level.«

I agree with OP. I will always be a farang here, but I can learn about and respect the culture.

I will to a certain state integrate a bit enough to be accepted as part of the local community, but still being an alien that include greeting or wai, respect of the older locals and those of higher status, follow the basic norms on how to behave in Thailand, try to pick-up some of the language (little difficult, when Im still fighting for more than 50 years learning some English as second language).

It will not try to dress like a Thai or rather traditional Thai; firstly I have my (own) style I am and will always be a stranger, and many Thais do dress Western style and secondly I think it may look more weird or comic than acceptable; but thats for me, for others it may work perfect and be elegant to dress Thai.

In general I believe little integration is worth it, but of course depending of where you live and how much you intend to mingle with the locals and the local society. Its a question of finding a balance we are different individuals, so my balance may not work for others where you keep your identity, because you will always be a foreigner, but dont distance that much, so the locals dont let you in. I attend local events, especially when requested or invited for funerals (temple ceremony), parties, weddings etc.

I believe its worth integrating a bit into the Thai culture and be accepted most of the locals know my name and wai me (first, even elder I should show respect for): »Sawadee khun Per sa baai dii mai?« wai2.gif

I am not sure that learning to respect the culture is that complicated. Its like transporting yourself back to brideshead revisited and then just make sure you acknowledge your elders.

Of course, then of course you have the added bonus of having then jumped in with both feet to "respect" the culture, that you have to learn that you aren't in any way then allowed to question anything.

Things such as " why does everyone wai that bloke, he's a thriving corrupt government bloke".

Or, if you are all so conservative how come uncle somchai pretends that his daughter is in a factory when everyone knows that she's in a brothel.

Or, why is it OK for everyone to drive home completely smashed when it's incredibly selfish and stupid.

So u see, getting involved with Thai culture involves getting yourself into leaving ur morals and brains at the airport.

Tat cynical isnt it ?

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»I don't expect the Thais to suddenly see me as one of their own, but I would like them to understand that I respect their culture and I'm willing to talk and act with them at their level.«

I agree with OP. I will always be a farang here, but I can learn about and respect the culture.

I will to a certain state integrate a bit enough to be accepted as part of the local community, but still being an alien that include greeting or wai, respect of the older locals and those of higher status, follow the basic norms on how to behave in Thailand, try to pick-up some of the language (little difficult, when Im still fighting for more than 50 years learning some English as second language).

It will not try to dress like a Thai or rather traditional Thai; firstly I have my (own) style I am and will always be a stranger, and many Thais do dress Western style and secondly I think it may look more weird or comic than acceptable; but thats for me, for others it may work perfect and be elegant to dress Thai.

In general I believe little integration is worth it, but of course depending of where you live and how much you intend to mingle with the locals and the local society. Its a question of finding a balance we are different individuals, so my balance may not work for others where you keep your identity, because you will always be a foreigner, but dont distance that much, so the locals dont let you in. I attend local events, especially when requested or invited for funerals (temple ceremony), parties, weddings etc.

I believe its worth integrating a bit into the Thai culture and be accepted most of the locals know my name and wai me (first, even elder I should show respect for): »Sawadee khun Per sa baai dii mai?« wai2.gif

I am not sure that learning to respect the culture is that complicated. Its like transporting yourself back to brideshead revisited and then just make sure you acknowledge your elders.

Of course, then of course you have the added bonus of having then jumped in with both feet to "respect" the culture, that you have to learn that you aren't in any way then allowed to question anything.

Things such as " why does everyone wai that bloke, he's a thriving corrupt government bloke".

Or, if you are all so conservative how come uncle somchai pretends that his daughter is in a factory when everyone knows that she's in a brothel.

Or, why is it OK for everyone to drive home completely smashed when it's incredibly selfish and stupid.

So u see, getting involved with Thai culture involves getting yourself into leaving ur morals and brains at the airport.

Tat cynical isnt it ?

Well I notice you don't say I am wrong. Look I lived there for 18 years, and was accepted by hundreds of people. But it was brought back to me many times when you ask simple things like that.

Everyone goes uneasily quiet and shuffles around if u ask even the most obvious thing. So if you get involved in truly respecting the culture you had better get used to parking your morals at the border.

And yes, I've met some very powerful people I Thailand the like of which you would happily wish banged up forever, but all you can do is meekly wai away.

I am glad I left to regain some perspective.

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»I don't expect the Thais to suddenly see me as one of their own, but I would like them to understand that I respect their culture and I'm willing to talk and act with them at their level.«

I agree with OP. I will always be a farang here, but I can learn about and respect the culture.

I will to a certain state integrate a bit enough to be accepted as part of the local community, but still being an alien that include greeting or wai, respect of the older locals and those of higher status, follow the basic norms on how to behave in Thailand, try to pick-up some of the language (little difficult, when Im still fighting for more than 50 years learning some English as second language).

It will not try to dress like a Thai or rather traditional Thai; firstly I have my (own) style I am and will always be a stranger, and many Thais do dress Western style and secondly I think it may look more weird or comic than acceptable; but thats for me, for others it may work perfect and be elegant to dress Thai.

In general I believe little integration is worth it, but of course depending of where you live and how much you intend to mingle with the locals and the local society. Its a question of finding a balance we are different individuals, so my balance may not work for others where you keep your identity, because you will always be a foreigner, but dont distance that much, so the locals dont let you in. I attend local events, especially when requested or invited for funerals (temple ceremony), parties, weddings etc.

I believe its worth integrating a bit into the Thai culture and be accepted most of the locals know my name and wai me (first, even elder I should show respect for): »Sawadee khun Per sa baai dii mai?« wai2.gif

I am not sure that learning to respect the culture is that complicated. Its like transporting yourself back to brideshead revisited and then just make sure you acknowledge your elders.

Of course, then of course you have the added bonus of having then jumped in with both feet to "respect" the culture, that you have to learn that you aren't in any way then allowed to question anything.

Things such as " why does everyone wai that bloke, he's a thriving corrupt government bloke".

Or, if you are all so conservative how come uncle somchai pretends that his daughter is in a factory when everyone knows that she's in a brothel.

Or, why is it OK for everyone to drive home completely smashed when it's incredibly selfish and stupid.

So u see, getting involved with Thai culture involves getting yourself into leaving ur morals and brains at the airport.

Tat cynical isnt it ?
Well I notice you don't say I am wrong. Look I lived there for 18 years, and was accepted by hundreds of people. But it was brought back to me many times when you ask simple things like that.

Everyone goes uneasily quiet and shuffles around if u ask even the most obvious thing. So if you get involved in truly respecting the culture you had better get used to parking your morals at the border.

And yes, I've met some very powerful people I Thailand the like of which you would happily wish banged up forever, but all you can do is meekly wai away.

I am glad I left to regain some perspective.

Fear leads to dishonesty( unwillingness to be confronted with the truth )..its top down visible in Thailand. Its the structure....national, regional, local and within many families. Shallow and lacking any substance.

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I have visited Thailand since the 80s, and have been married to a Thai family in BKK since 1999.

I have tried to learn the language, and even though I can get around, order my food and drinks

go shopping and get gas for my scooter, I am not or will never be fluent in the language. I have tried to wear

appropriate clothes for different functions, and not just a T shirt and shorts and floppys all of the time.

I am not a Buddhist even though I have went to about a thousand temples so far around the country as well

as in Canada. I am still a Farang whether I am in Thailand or in the Thai community in Canada.

If I was able to become a duel Canadian/ Thai citizen I would feel a bit more likely to become integrated.

And we all know that will not happen in my live time!

Good luck with your efforts.

Stargrazer

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Dont fool yourself, you will be tolerated and nothing more.

Rather like a "bloody Yank" in London?

Or a "Limey" in New York?

In my travels and career I lived and worked in places from Turkey, to Ethiopia, Saudi Arabia, Puerto Rico, Greece, and half a dozen others.

In my opinion a "culture" is just like baggage.

You should carry it around in your head, and only use the part you need right then ..... keeping the rest stored in your mental closet, like winter clothes in a hot climate .... you don't need that piece of gear right now.

I did that for over 40 years as I traveled around working and living in all those countries.

That's what I am doing in Thailand now that I am retired here ..... I pick and choose what I need from my mental closet every day.

Wherever I was at the time I tried to "adapt" to the local culture, if not necessarily "assimilate".

Bottom line; Don't get hung up on your "culture".

Hang loose and go-with-the-flow.

Edited by IMA_FARANG
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»I don't expect the Thais to suddenly see me as one of their own, but I would like them to understand that I respect their culture and I'm willing to talk and act with them at their level.«

I agree with OP. I will always be a farang here, but I can learn about and respect the culture.

I will to a certain state integrate a bit enough to be accepted as part of the local community, but still being an alien that include greeting or wai, respect of the older locals and those of higher status, follow the basic norms on how to behave in Thailand, try to pick-up some of the language (little difficult, when Im still fighting for more than 50 years learning some English as second language).

It will not try to dress like a Thai or rather traditional Thai; firstly I have my (own) style I am and will always be a stranger, and many Thais do dress Western style and secondly I think it may look more weird or comic than acceptable; but thats for me, for others it may work perfect and be elegant to dress Thai.

In general I believe little integration is worth it, but of course depending of where you live and how much you intend to mingle with the locals and the local society. Its a question of finding a balance we are different individuals, so my balance may not work for others where you keep your identity, because you will always be a foreigner, but dont distance that much, so the locals dont let you in. I attend local events, especially when requested or invited for funerals (temple ceremony), parties, weddings etc.

I believe its worth integrating a bit into the Thai culture and be accepted most of the locals know my name and wai me (first, even elder I should show respect for): »Sawadee khun Per sa baai dii mai?« wai2.gif

I am not sure that learning to respect the culture is that complicated. Its like transporting yourself back to brideshead revisited and then just make sure you acknowledge your elders.

Of course, then of course you have the added bonus of having then jumped in with both feet to "respect" the culture, that you have to learn that you aren't in any way then allowed to question anything.

Things such as " why does everyone wai that bloke, he's a thriving corrupt government bloke".

Or, if you are all so conservative how come uncle somchai pretends that his daughter is in a factory when everyone knows that she's in a brothel.

Or, why is it OK for everyone to drive home completely smashed when it's incredibly selfish and stupid.

So u see, getting involved with Thai culture involves getting yourself into leaving ur morals and brains at the airport.

Tat cynical isnt it ?
Well I notice you don't say I am wrong. Look I lived there for 18 years, and was accepted by hundreds of people. But it was brought back to me many times when you ask simple things like that.

Everyone goes uneasily quiet and shuffles around if u ask even the most obvious thing. So if you get involved in truly respecting the culture you had better get used to parking your morals at the border.

And yes, I've met some very powerful people I Thailand the like of which you would happily wish banged up forever, but all you can do is meekly wai away.

I am glad I left to regain some perspective.

Fear leads to dishonesty( unwillingness to be confronted with the truth )..its top down visible in Thailand. Its the structure....national, regional, local and within many families. Shallow and lacking any substance.

Its funny you put it like that. I agree. Its born out of having to have friends to protect yourself because the legal system is so utterly sh*t.

There is no recourse, so you protect yourself with associates . looking back, I wonder why I thought I ever fitted in.

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Greg Nixon.

You sure must be living in a different part of Thailand than where I have visited.

1997 on Phuket Island, On a very hot day on the road from Patong Beach to Kata. caught without my helmet

1000 baht.

2010 in Hua Hin went up small soi near Bintabaht area wrong way 400 Baht fine cash only!

2012 in Hua Hin went down small soi near railway, apparently wrong way again, although I never seen any sign

before or after, 500 baht cash only fine. (near the end of the month)

Where I live in Alberta, for 2 years I had to live next door to a rock band with lots of noise and lost lots of

sleep, but only got help from the local police a few times. I still see the dog owners let their dogs kill off my grass as

they walk by. I still see some homeowners who let their yard grow over with weeds and such and have trash and old junkers in their yards. It don't matter where you live in the world, except maybe in Singapore, you will find that life is far from perfect.

Also if you get to live in Thailand for part of the year, (Winter) , you will never feel the -30c wind against your face in February. You will not have to shovel your driveway or the sidewalk out front, or slip on the ice, or other foolish or dreadful events

that happen in Winter. I do enjoy my Summers though.

Stargrazer

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»I don't expect the Thais to suddenly see me as one of their own, but I would like them to understand that I respect their culture and I'm willing to talk and act with them at their level.«

I agree with OP. I will always be a farang here, but I can learn about and respect the culture.

I will to a certain state integrate a bit enough to be accepted as part of the local community, but still being an alien that include greeting or wai, respect of the older locals and those of higher status, follow the basic norms on how to behave in Thailand, try to pick-up some of the language (little difficult, when Im still fighting for more than 50 years learning some English as second language).

It will not try to dress like a Thai or rather traditional Thai; firstly I have my (own) style I am and will always be a stranger, and many Thais do dress Western style and secondly I think it may look more weird or comic than acceptable; but thats for me, for others it may work perfect and be elegant to dress Thai.

In general I believe little integration is worth it, but of course depending of where you live and how much you intend to mingle with the locals and the local society. Its a question of finding a balance we are different individuals, so my balance may not work for others where you keep your identity, because you will always be a foreigner, but dont distance that much, so the locals dont let you in. I attend local events, especially when requested or invited for funerals (temple ceremony), parties, weddings etc.

I believe its worth integrating a bit into the Thai culture and be accepted most of the locals know my name and wai me (first, even elder I should show respect for): »Sawadee khun Per sa baai dii mai?« wai2.gif

I am not sure that learning to respect the culture is that complicated. Its like transporting yourself back to brideshead revisited and then just make sure you acknowledge your elders.

Of course, then of course you have the added bonus of having then jumped in with both feet to "respect" the culture, that you have to learn that you aren't in any way then allowed to question anything.

Things such as " why does everyone wai that bloke, he's a thriving corrupt government bloke".

Or, if you are all so conservative how come uncle somchai pretends that his daughter is in a factory when everyone knows that she's in a brothel.

Or, why is it OK for everyone to drive home completely smashed when it's incredibly selfish and stupid.

So u see, getting involved with Thai culture involves getting yourself into leaving ur morals and brains at the airport.

From your answer, Thai at Heart, I presume you and I mingle with completely different groups or levels of Thai culture... whistling.gif

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Greg Nixon.

You sure must be living in a different part of Thailand than where I have visited.

1997 on Phuket Island, On a very hot day on the road from Patong Beach to Kata. caught without my helmet

1000 baht.

2010 in Hua Hin went up small soi near Bintabaht area wrong way 400 Baht fine cash only!

2012 in Hua Hin went down small soi near railway, apparently wrong way again, although I never seen any sign

before or after, 500 baht cash only fine. (near the end of the month)

Where I live in Alberta, for 2 years I had to live next door to a rock band with lots of noise and lost lots of

sleep, but only got help from the local police a few times. I still see the dog owners let their dogs kill off my grass as

they walk by. I still see some homeowners who let their yard grow over with weeds and such and have trash and old junkers in their yards. It don't matter where you live in the world, except maybe in Singapore, you will find that life is far from perfect.

Also if you get to live in Thailand for part of the year, (Winter) , you will never feel the -30c wind against your face in February. You will not have to shovel your driveway or the sidewalk out front, or slip on the ice, or other foolish or dreadful events

that happen in Winter. I do enjoy my Summers though.

Stargrazer

You should invite the thai police (and neighbours) around for a glimpse through your Meade LX one night..... that'll shut em up!

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Thais really like it when i can speak some of their language. Integration or assimilation ? I cannot keep my house that dirty; it grosses me out. I cannot sit interminably in my property without improving it. I do not have a mia noi but a lover might be OK. I could not work for $6/day - its against my religion. I could not hang meaningless pictures in my house. I could not drive like an idiot or a complete jerkv- too long have I had good defensive driving habits. I could not keep 2 or 3 dogs who bark all night and crap in front in front of my neighbours I just do not need the aggravation and I respect my neighbours too much. Icould not live without showing public affection - not even holding hands. Check it out - no kisses , no hugs and those sad sour faces of the old ladies. I cannot live without empathy.

Do not get me wrong, i respect the Thai culture and want to find out more about them and even speak and think like they do so I can understand them. Be like them - not on your life. I like Thailand because i do not feel like big brother is watching me. My neighbours do not want to report me to the police or control me. My biggest fine in 3 years in Thailand has been $ 4 whereas in Canada it would be very difficult to avoid an $80 to $200 fine every year. Radar cameras, red light cameras and automated parking fines are all designed to control your every move in Canada.

I like how my Thai family needs me. I like the respect i am shown here as opposed to little or none by many in Canada. Respect inconsideration of my needs or wants. Respect in the great meals prepared for me. Even respect by my local immigration authorities. Respect from my doctor and the hospitals. Respect in the bedroom. Asian women are particularly good with sex and let you know how much they want it.

I have a 9 inch member in a world with a 4 inch average.

Thailand is great.

Wow so when you get to the required number of posts greg,i guess you will be calling yourself nine inch member,thanks for sharing that with us all.

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»I don't expect the Thais to suddenly see me as one of their own, but I would like them to understand that I respect their culture and I'm willing to talk and act with them at their level.«

I agree with OP. I will always be a farang here, but I can learn about and respect the culture.

I will to a certain state integrate a bit enough to be accepted as part of the local community, but still being an alien that include greeting or wai, respect of the older locals and those of higher status, follow the basic norms on how to behave in Thailand, try to pick-up some of the language (little difficult, when Im still fighting for more than 50 years learning some English as second language).

It will not try to dress like a Thai or rather traditional Thai; firstly I have my (own) style I am and will always be a stranger, and many Thais do dress Western style and secondly I think it may look more weird or comic than acceptable; but thats for me, for others it may work perfect and be elegant to dress Thai.

In general I believe little integration is worth it, but of course depending of where you live and how much you intend to mingle with the locals and the local society. Its a question of finding a balance we are different individuals, so my balance may not work for others where you keep your identity, because you will always be a foreigner, but dont distance that much, so the locals dont let you in. I attend local events, especially when requested or invited for funerals (temple ceremony), parties, weddings etc.

I believe its worth integrating a bit into the Thai culture and be accepted most of the locals know my name and wai me (first, even elder I should show respect for): »Sawadee khun Per sa baai dii mai?« wai2.gif

I am not sure that learning to respect the culture is that complicated. Its like transporting yourself back to brideshead revisited and then just make sure you acknowledge your elders.

Of course, then of course you have the added bonus of having then jumped in with both feet to "respect" the culture, that you have to learn that you aren't in any way then allowed to question anything.

Things such as " why does everyone wai that bloke, he's a thriving corrupt government bloke".

Or, if you are all so conservative how come uncle somchai pretends that his daughter is in a factory when everyone knows that she's in a brothel.

Or, why is it OK for everyone to drive home completely smashed when it's incredibly selfish and stupid.

So u see, getting involved with Thai culture involves getting yourself into leaving ur morals and brains at the airport.

From your answer, Thai at Heart, I presume you and I mingle with completely different groups or levels of Thai culture... whistling.gif
From Ambassadors and ex PMs down to farmers.

Seen it all.

It is noticeable that the more seriously any Thai takes themselves, normally the more odious and corrupt the person. The upper echelons of Thai society are something to behold.

Edited by Thai at Heart
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From Ambassadors and ex PMs down to farmers.

Seen it all.

It is noticeable that the more seriously any Thai takes themselves, normally the more odious and corrupt the person. The upper echelons of Thai society are something to behold.

Try again.
Thai Forest Traditions
selected teachers
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A farang can never integrate in Thailand. Learn the language, eat the food, read the newspapers etc etc - but you will always be a farang. Many like playing the farang card anyway, gives some a feeling of superiority.

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does wearing my sarong round the house count as being thai,,,,???

back to my coffee,,coffee1.gif

Only if you have a white vest, big Buddha medallion and flip flops on

Flip flops on in the house? No, no, no no. Where I live I join in with many local activities get on well with everyone. I never get the feeling I am being tolerated. The people are warm, welcoming, friendly,funny and respectful. I integrate as much as using the local shops, markets, builders etc, but I don't get the wearing of the Buddha Ammulets and tattoos unless a practising buddhist. I am well aware I am not Thai, don't want to be a wannabe, but I do like living here. Edited by watso63
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