Paying her family?

[kovaltech]

None of what you say applies in a Thai Farang marriage. How many farangs expect their wives to support them after marriage??????????

In my case, my wife makes her own money and is free to give as much of that to her family as she wishes. I will give them nothing, which is exactly the situation they would have had she not married me. I am not some ATM for people I have as little to do with as possible.

Sorry Thaibeachlover...

It is entirely up to you how YOU proceed in life... but why bashing on Thai cultural traditions ?

But stating that nothing what i said is applicable in a Thai-farang marriage ? You couldn't be further away from true life....

Actually the posting of the OP is an indication that the parents are acting as if there was no difference between a farang and a Thai... Hence the amount for the dowry ?

All they want is having a husband for their daughter, who's capable of supporting her... as their whole social system is based on the fact that children support their parents until deceased, their is nothing wrong about the normal demand towards a future husband to support...

[F4UCorsair]

Kovaltech said, "Lets say i can post pictures of weddings and engagements from average, hard working , normal people... the lowest i have seen so far was 100 K, the highest 400K.".

Man if you think that 'average, hard working normal' Thais can come up with 100-400K sinsot you are deluding yourself. That's $3,000+ - $13,000+!!! .........more than an 'average, hard working, normal' Thai earns in 18 months to 6 years. Take out some living expenses from his income, and he could be skimping and saving hard for 3 - 12 years to put that together.

This is becoming more ridiculous by the minute.

Call it whatever you like, but the most suitable and appropriate description of sin sot is scam or con!!! No ifs or buts....that's what it is, pure and simple, perpetrated on their future son in law by greedy, grasping parents of the bride, not based on any criteria other than what they think they can steal from a son in law. How there could ever be a normal relationship with in laws under those circumstances, knowing you'd been scammed out of sometimes significant amounts of money, is beyond my powers of comprehension.

As been stated earlier by Alfredo as well, Marriage is about family values...

@F4UCorsair;

You could be right about the trolling aspect of this Topic...

The paying for the dentist ? The payments for the Motorbike ? The new phone ? The living in and only after 1 month kicked out ? ( normally you could not come in without the marriage promise ;-) )

But to the topic:

For the sake of debating: lets say there are plenty of good, hard working people around here with the same percentage of "no goods" as every where in the world... ( lets call it 50-50 )

Do you have any idea how much they earn ? in any circumstances ? Pineapples ? Rubber three's ? Corn ? Office work ? Kindergarten teaching ? Charcoal making ? Repairing bikes ? Cooking meals ? Sell on the market ?

So regarding your statements above, they clearly indicate that your knowledge about real Thai life is below a level that you could debate with sound arguments.

Second; your description of Sin Sot and the phrases used... Thats Thai bashing....

You act on the little knowledge you have from mostly "hear say"

But so little you know from real life experience in Thailand.

I'm guessing that you're married to a Thai kovaltech, and were cleaned out financially so now you have to justify the anachronistic 'custom' of sin sot?? To the infidels in the sin sot argument death will surely come. It is not the custom of most, if any, western countries, so why do foreign men fall over themselves to help out a 'struggling' Thai family. Would they do that back home, wherever home is?? You bet they wouldn't.

As another poster said, foreign men are falling over themselves to buy their hooker girl friends cars and their poor old mothers are surviving on food stamps back home, and I'd agree with that. How many men from your own country do you know who have met a girl in a bar, moved in, bought a car and property in her name (with no safeguards for their hard earned $$), all within a couple of months (back home I mean)? I bet not one. How many do you know in Thailand? Quite a few I's guess, and if you need proof, search this forum and you will find plenty bleating about how they've been cleaned out by a Thai bar girl who they thought loved them, even they are 30+ years older. For god's sake man, be serious.

There are too few foreign men who insist on breaking with the 'custom', and of course Thai parents want the new pickup, so it's perpetuated. If I was going to take the plunge with a Thai, there would be NO sin sot, and if the family didn't like that, and she was under their spell, she could live with them forever, and I'd be moving on. Find another sucker girl.....I'm not the one for you.

That the Thai parents are rorting the sin sot gravy train is indicated by the fact that even women who have had a couple of marriages, and several kids, are being 'sold' for sin sot by their parents, scamming the foreigner. Thais would not pay sin sot for a woman who has been through the mill, reamed out, so to speak.

Incidentally I do have considerable experience in Thailand, never lived there (although I have lived in several Asian countries), but spent a lot of time there, and had Thai girlfriends. Almost the first thing they do is unashamedly put the bite on, some even before meeting.

Of course most westerners do appear to be wealthy by their standards, but certainly not wealthy compared with similar socio/economic strata in Thailand.

I base what I say about cost of sin sot and 'average, hardworking, normal' Thais on what a wage earner is paid. Many aren't even paid the target B300 a day, but some I know are around B500 a day, so about $80 a week!! You don't easily put together $3000+ on an $80 a week income. It would take a couple of years.

Edited May 12, 2014 by F4UCorsair

[kovaltech]

Kovaltech said, "Lets say i can post pictures of weddings and engagements from average, hard working , normal people... the lowest i have seen so far was 100 K, the highest 400K.".

Man if you think that 'average, hard working normal' Thais can come up with 100-400K sinsot you are deluding yourself. That's $3,000+ - $13,000+!!! .........more than an 'average, hard working, normal' Thai earns in 18 months to 6 years. Take out some living expenses from his income, and he could be skimping and saving hard for 3 - 12 years to put that together.

This is becoming more ridiculous by the minute.

Call it whatever you like, but the most suitable and appropriate description of sin sot is scam or con!!! No ifs or buts....that's what it is, pure and simple, perpetrated on their future son in law by greedy, grasping parents of the bride, not based on any criteria other than what they think they can steal from a son in law. How there could ever be a normal relationship with in laws under those circumstances, knowing you'd been scammed out of sometimes significant amounts of money, is beyond my powers of comprehension.

As been stated earlier by Alfredo as well, Marriage is about family values...

@F4UCorsair;

You could be right about the trolling aspect of this Topic...

The paying for the dentist ? The payments for the Motorbike ? The new phone ? The living in and only after 1 month kicked out ? ( normally you could not come in without the marriage promise ;-) )

But to the topic:

For the sake of debating: lets say there are plenty of good, hard working people around here with the same percentage of "no goods" as every where in the world... ( lets call it 50-50 )

Do you have any idea how much they earn ? in any circumstances ? Pineapples ? Rubber three's ? Corn ? Office work ? Kindergarten teaching ? Charcoal making ? Repairing bikes ? Cooking meals ? Sell on the market ?

So regarding your statements above, they clearly indicate that your knowledge about real Thai life is below a level that you could debate with sound arguments.

Second; your description of Sin Sot and the phrases used... Thats Thai bashing....

You act on the little knowledge you have from mostly "hear say"

But so little you know from real life experience in Thailand.

I'm guessing that you're married to a Thai kovaltech, and were cleaned out financially so now you have to justify the anachronistic 'custom' of sin sot?? To the infidels in the sin sot argument death will surely come. It is not the custom of most, if any, western countries, so why do foreign men fall over themselves to help out a 'struggling' Thai family. Would they do that back home, wherever home is?? You bet they wouldn't.

As another poster said, foreign men are falling over themselves to buy their hooker girl friends cars and their poor old mothers are surviving on food stamps back home, and I'd agree with that. How many men from your own country do you know who have met a girl in a bar, moved in, bought a car and property in her name (with no safeguards for their hard earned $$), all within a couple of months (back home I mean)? I bet not one. How many do you know in Thailand? Quite a few I's guess, and if you need proof, search this forum and you will find plenty bleating about how they've been cleaned out by a Thai bar girl who they thought loved them, even they are 30+ years older. For god's sake man, be serious.

There are too few foreign men who insist on breaking with the 'custom', and of course Thai parents want the new pickup, so it's perpetuated. If I was going to take the plunge with a Thai, there would be NO sin sot, and if the family didn't like that, and she was under their spell, she could live with them forever, and I'd be moving on. Find another sucker girl.....I'm not the one for you.

That the Thai parents are rorting the sin sot gravy train is indicated by the fact that even women who have had a couple of marriages, and several kids, are being 'sold' for sin sot by their parents, scamming the foreigner. Thais would not pay sin sot for a woman who has been through the mill, reamed out, so to speak.

Incidentally I do have considerable experience in Thailand, never lived there (although I have lived in several Asian countries), but spent a lot of time there, and had Thai girlfriends. Almost the first thing they do is unashamedly put the bite on, some even before meeting.

Of course most westerners do appear to be wealthy by their standards, but certainly not wealthy compared with similar socio/economic strata in Thailand.

I base what I say about cost of sin sot and 'average, hardworking, normal' Thais on what a wage earner is paid. Many aren't even paid the target B300 a day, but some I know are around B500 a day, so about $80 a week!! You don't easily put together $3000+ on an $80 a week income. It would take a couple of years.

Thanks for you admitting that you don't live in Thailand or ever have been living here...

The minimum wages are at this moment 300 Bath a day, or 9000 Bath a month.

A lot of people , who have their own land to manage, do however work also in second and third jobs.

Cutting rubber three's by night for example..

A lot of parents are sending their children to university's, so the money can be shorter then elsewhere ...

But, as long you don't come out your ivory tower, you'll will never feel the real Thai mentality...

I have never been cleaned out, living with my Thai girlfriend ( payed a small portion of the Sin Sot ), still married to another lady

which lives in BKK.

I live in the same house, same conditions as they are, no need for car, have myself a nice motor bike, have my girlfriend a small motorbike.

I live in a small community near the mekong river. Nong khai Province.

I spent my time doing research and developing.

I did started a small (18 rai ) pineapple plantage, based on 50-50 split profit. by draught the profit is zero, but not the fault from the parents. The money from the field goes to the family, food and others, including my food.

The normal nett profit from 18 rai pineapple would be suffient to buy a house ( first year harvest ) buy a good second hand car ( second harvest ) and 3 year saved enough money to start all over.

Misses and me are saving, bit by bit, to build as a small house, on a piece of land that the parents gave us. ( papers on the misses name )

I live amongst them, and as they say, having the face of a farang, but the heart of a Thai. a big compliment what makes me grateful towards them.

To the point:

Yes shit can happen, probably shit always happened to YOU, thats why you only can talk *** as you do..

Based on the 50-50 rule of good people existing on this planet, i must have met all 100% good ones , since i can't hear you mention any good ones, only the bad story's

To the topic, again...

OP... wanna live in Thailand ??? learn and understand the Thai culture, do not listen to those who bash on the Thai traditions because their lack of looking to things trough others perspectives...

There is nothing wrong with understanding them first and then act with your new knowledge...

They have treated you with respect... so do the good thing, go and apologize, even if you not going to continue with the girl.

Living in Thailand means to you the same as what it would mean to her if she came to your country...

Integration , learning the language, the habits, the to do's and the not to do's...

Edited May 12, 2014 by kovaltech

[netghost]

Again, Thank you all for your advice and comments on this. I have already stopped all payments on the scooter, phone, dentist, and have told her family I am not an atm machine and will not pay anything else. They forbid her to see me or even talk to me, I said that is fine. Sorry for taking so long to reply, I thought this post was over when I said thank you about five pages ago. Have started work, and I will play the field.

[F4UCorsair]

Moderators, can you please close this thread?

Thank you for your kind words kovaltech. Nong Khai is a nice place. i spent a week there a couple of years ago.

[Ace of Pop]

Kovaltech said, "Lets say i can post pictures of weddings and engagements from average, hard working , normal people... the lowest i have seen so far was 100 K, the highest 400K.".

Man if you think that 'average, hard working normal' Thais can come up with 100-400K sinsot you are deluding yourself. That's $3,000+ - $13,000+!!! .........more than an 'average, hard working, normal' Thai earns in 18 months to 6 years. Take out some living expenses from his income, and he could be skimping and saving hard for 3 - 12 years to put that together.

This is becoming more ridiculous by the minute.

Call it whatever you like, but the most suitable and appropriate description of sin sot is scam or con!!! No ifs or buts....that's what it is, pure and simple, perpetrated on their future son in law by greedy, grasping parents of the bride, not based on any criteria other than what they think they can steal from a son in law. How there could ever be a normal relationship with in laws under those circumstances, knowing you'd been scammed out of sometimes significant amounts of money, is beyond my powers of comprehension.

As been stated earlier by Alfredo as well, Marriage is about family values...

@F4UCorsair;

You could be right about the trolling aspect of this Topic...

The paying for the dentist ? The payments for the Motorbike ? The new phone ? The living in and only after 1 month kicked out ? ( normally you could not come in without the marriage promise ;-) )

But to the topic:

For the sake of debating: lets say there are plenty of good, hard working people around here with the same percentage of "no goods" as every where in the world... ( lets call it 50-50 )

Do you have any idea how much they earn ? in any circumstances ? Pineapples ? Rubber three's ? Corn ? Office work ? Kindergarten teaching ? Charcoal making ? Repairing bikes ? Cooking meals ? Sell on the market ?

So regarding your statements above, they clearly indicate that your knowledge about real Thai life is below a level that you could debate with sound arguments.

Second; your description of Sin Sot and the phrases used... Thats Thai bashing....

You act on the little knowledge you have from mostly "hear say"

But so little you know from real life experience in Thailand.

I'm guessing that you're married to a Thai kovaltech, and were cleaned out financially so now you have to justify the anachronistic 'custom' of sin sot?? To the infidels in the sin sot argument death will surely come. It is not the custom of most, if any, western countries, so why do foreign men fall over themselves to help out a 'struggling' Thai family. Would they do that back home, wherever home is?? You bet they wouldn't.

As another poster said, foreign men are falling over themselves to buy their hooker girl friends cars and their poor old mothers are surviving on food stamps back home, and I'd agree with that. How many men from your own country do you know who have met a girl in a bar, moved in, bought a car and property in her name (with no safeguards for their hard earned $$), all within a couple of months (back home I mean)? I bet not one. How many do you know in Thailand? Quite a few I's guess, and if you need proof, search this forum and you will find plenty bleating about how they've been cleaned out by a Thai bar girl who they thought loved them, even they are 30+ years older. For god's sake man, be serious.

There are too few foreign men who insist on breaking with the 'custom', and of course Thai parents want the new pickup, so it's perpetuated. If I was going to take the plunge with a Thai, there would be NO sin sot, and if the family didn't like that, and she was under their spell, she could live with them forever, and I'd be moving on. Find another sucker girl.....I'm not the one for you.

That the Thai parents are rorting the sin sot gravy train is indicated by the fact that even women who have had a couple of marriages, and several kids, are being 'sold' for sin sot by their parents, scamming the foreigner. Thais would not pay sin sot for a woman who has been through the mill, reamed out, so to speak.

Incidentally I do have considerable experience in Thailand, never lived there (although I have lived in several Asian countries), but spent a lot of time there, and had Thai girlfriends. Almost the first thing they do is unashamedly put the bite on, some even before meeting.

Of course most westerners do appear to be wealthy by their standards, but certainly not wealthy compared with similar socio/economic strata in Thailand.

I base what I say about cost of sin sot and 'average, hardworking, normal' Thais on what a wage earner is paid. Many aren't even paid the target B300 a day, but some I know are around B500 a day, so about $80 a week!! You don't easily put together $3000+ on an $80 a week income. It would take a couple of years.

Thanks for you admitting that you don't live in Thailand or ever have been living here...

The minimum wages are at this moment 300 Bath a day, or 9000 Bath a month.

A lot of people , who have their own land to manage, do however work also in second and third jobs.

Cutting rubber three's by night for example..

A lot of parents are sending their children to university's, so the money can be shorter then elsewhere ...

But, as long you don't come out your ivory tower, you'll will never feel the real Thai mentality...

I have never been cleaned out, living with my Thai girlfriend ( payed a small portion of the Sin Sot ), still married to another lady

which lives in BKK.

I live in the same house, same conditions as they are, no need for car, have myself a nice motor bike, have my girlfriend a small motorbike.

I live in a small community near the mekong river. Nong khai Province.

I spent my time doing research and developing.

I did started a small (18 rai ) pineapple plantage, based on 50-50 split profit. by draught the profit is zero, but not the fault from the parents. The money from the field goes to the family, food and others, including my food.

The normal nett profit from 18 rai pineapple would be suffient to buy a house ( first year harvest ) buy a good second hand car ( second harvest ) and 3 year saved enough money to start all over.

Misses and me are saving, bit by bit, to build as a small house, on a piece of land that the parents gave us. ( papers on the misses name )

I live amongst them, and as they say, having the face of a farang, but the heart of a Thai. a big compliment what makes me grateful towards them.

To the point:

Yes shit can happen, probably shit always happened to YOU, thats why you only can talk *** as you do..

Based on the 50-50 rule of good people existing on this planet, i must have met all 100% good ones , since i can't hear you mention any good ones, only the bad story's

To the topic, again...

OP... wanna live in Thailand ??? learn and understand the Thai culture, do not listen to those who bash on the Thai traditions because their lack of looking to things trough others perspectives...

There is nothing wrong with understanding them first and then act with your new knowledge...

They have treated you with respect... so do the good thing, go and apologize, even if you not going to continue with the girl.

Living in Thailand means to you the same as what it would mean to her if she came to your country...

Integration , learning the language, the habits, the to do's and the not to do's...

You sound like a reasonable Guy, given time they will eat You Alive, Corsairs a Smart One.

[kovaltech]

@Ace of Pop,

i eat, i never got eaten... ;-)

I have been chewed on in Europe... they needed a dentist and a full replacement...

Think good, speak good, do good

a hard combination

[CryWolf]

This question is for the experts who has learned all about thai culture.

Can it be that the sin sot is just for display in many families, and that most of it will be returned after the ceremony, so that no face is lost in the village?

From what i understand it is not unusual...

[kovaltech]

This question is for the experts who has learned all about thai culture.

Can it be that the sin sot is just for display in many families, and that most of it will be returned after the ceremony, so that no face is lost in the village?

From what i understand it is not unusual...

Yes it can...

Thats is all up to you , the girl and her family...

Even on some cases the Mother of the bride gives the full sum to the girl as a wedding gift, to make a gesture to other people to be generous with their gifts.

also the invited guests give openly their "gift"

The received money is mostly separated , counted and compared to see which family is more "rich" or better spenders...

The wedding ceremony is mostly, as in your question, a public display... but a nice tradition it is...

[CryWolf]

Indeed it is

Sent from my HTC One using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[frank0424]

Run for the hills mate..she'll be back online in no time looking for the next potential target..plenty of decent girls out there with a decent family..non of this farang ATM bozwollocks..

So true, and if she doesn't run with you and leave things behind (yes her family!) then she doesnt truly love you. That's what my Thai wife did nearly 20 years ago with me. She came

with me to live in Australia. I was not prepared to send money to her family there regularly and then myself and her struggle to survive while they live in greater comfort.

YOU DO WHATS BEST FOR THE COMFORTABLE SURVIVAL OF YOU AND YOUR PARTNER. WHAT HER FAMILY WANTS IS TRADITION NOT LAW!!

[F4UCorsair]

This question is for the experts who has learned all about thai culture.

Can it be that the sin sot is just for display in many families, and that most of it will be returned after the ceremony, so that no face is lost in the village?

From what i understand it is not unusual...

Yes it can...

Thats is all up to you , the girl and her family...

Even on some cases the Mother of the bride gives the full sum to the girl as a wedding gift, to make a gesture to other people to be generous with their gifts.

also the invited guests give openly their "gift"

The received money is mostly separated , counted and compared to see which family is more "rich" or better spenders...

The wedding ceremony is mostly, as in your question, a public display... but a nice tradition it is...

So if it's all a public display, then fake money would do the job, just as is used at Chinese funerals. The Chinese are too smart to burn real money, so they have look alike money to go up in smoke. The Chinese are like the Jews when it comes to money....smart!

I wouldn't be running the risk of putting up B100K+ in the off chance I would be getting it back when there was even a small chance it would go toward a new pickup, when fake notes would achieve the same result.

Ace of Pop, you're right. kovaltech will be eaten alive in time. This is just the rub up, farang with a Thai heart. Give me a break, somebody.....anybody!!!

If you're a farang with a Thai heart, they will be preparing to be ripped off by you, because it seems to me that what Thai hearts think about. They make a big deal of karma, but ripping each other off is a way of life, no different from Bali where the largely Hindu population talk so much about karma, until it comes to money, then all bets are off.

Edited May 13, 2014 by F4UCorsair

[slipperylobster]

haha fake money !!

How about if they open shops to sell fake money to be used as a show for sin sot?

Anyways, with the recent crackdowns by immigration, perhaps we need to do a little crackdown on this irritating ritual of buying wives.

[slipperylobster]

Elope !!!

[F4UCorsair]

haha fake money !!

How about if they open shops to sell fake money to be used as a show for sin sot?

Anyways, with the recent crackdowns by immigration, perhaps we need to do a little crackdown on this irritating ritual of buying wives.

Chinese shops do sell fake money. I've seen it here in Melbourne, and used in funerals in Hong Kong and China years ago.

But maybe you're right, there's a business opportunity in Thailand, open a shop selling fake money. Problem is you wouldn't get a work permit, and the locals would rip you off anyway. I'm sure fake money is for sale in Chinatown in Bangkok, or anywhere else there is a Chinatown.

And that's exactly what it is slippery, trading in human flesh, outlawed in most countries, but it seems alive and well in Thailand, but passed off as a 'Thai custom', and called sin sot.

[F4UCorsair]

GaoYuk, on 09 May 2014 - 21:59, said:

Run for the hills mate..she'll be back online in no time looking for the next potential target..plenty of decent girls out there with a decent family..non of this farang ATM bozwollocks..

GaoYuk, you been reading my mail???

We are on the same page!!

Edited May 13, 2014 by F4UCorsair

[slipperylobster]

haha fake money !!

How about if they open shops to sell fake money to be used as a show for sin sot?

Anyways, with the recent crackdowns by immigration, perhaps we need to do a little crackdown on this irritating ritual of buying wives.

Chinese shops do sell fake money. I've seen it here in Melbourne, and used in funerals in Hong Kong and China years ago.

But maybe you're right, there's a business opportunity in Thailand, open a shop selling fake money. Problem is you wouldn't get a work permit, and the locals would rip you off anyway. I'm sure fake money is for sale in Chinatown in Bangkok, or anywhere else there is a Chinatown.

And that's exactly what it is slippery, trading in human flesh, outlawed in most countries, but it seems alive and well in Thailand, but passed off as a 'Thai custom', and called sin sot.

seems like gals sold to the highest groom.....to me.

worst part, they are self employed...!!!

[kovaltech]

This question is for the experts who has learned all about thai culture.

Can it be that the sin sot is just for display in many families, and that most of it will be returned after the ceremony, so that no face is lost in the village?

From what i understand it is not unusual...

Yes it can...

Thats is all up to you , the girl and her family...

Even on some cases the Mother of the bride gives the full sum to the girl as a wedding gift, to make a gesture to other people to be generous with their gifts.

also the invited guests give openly their "gift"

The received money is mostly separated , counted and compared to see which family is more "rich" or better spenders...

The wedding ceremony is mostly, as in your question, a public display... but a nice tradition it is...

So if it's all a public display, then fake money would do the job, just as is used at Chinese funerals. The Chinese are too smart to burn real money, so they have look alike money to go up in smoke. The Chinese are like the Jews when it comes to money....smart!

I wouldn't be running the risk of putting up B100K+ in the off chance I would be getting it back when there was even a small chance it would go toward a new pickup, when fake notes would achieve the same result.

Ace of Pop, you're right. kovaltech will be eaten alive in time. This is just the rub up, farang with a Thai heart. Give me a break, somebody.....anybody!!!

If you're a farang with a Thai heart, they will be preparing to be ripped off by you, because it seems to me that what Thai hearts think about. They make a big deal of karma, but ripping each other off is a way of life, no different from Bali where the largely Hindu population talk so much about karma, until it comes to money, then all bets are off.

oh my oh my... The children are playing...

of you go boys...

[F4UCorsair]

You're going to be an easy mark for the family kjovaltech, but you're like tekNique....you re not listening!!!

Edited May 13, 2014 by F4UCorsair

[kovaltech]

You're going to be an easy mark for the family kjovaltech, but you're like tekNique....you re not listening!!!

boring and childish isn't it ?

If you really believe that the majority of the Thai people are as you described them so often,... then why bother to come to Thailand anyway ?

I have seen shit all over the world, so why i am not surprised by your comments ?

You can't respect Thai culture ? Then show the same guts as you show here, but take it to the market where plenty people (Thai) can hear you... try to tell the same BS there, lets see if you can make it home afterwards...

I guess this topic stay's open for Thai bashing only now ? or just for the trolling ?

[wprime]

Are these people for real or are they just trolls trying to perpetuate the belief that Thai girls just want money from farangs?

[kovaltech]

Are these people for real or are they just trolls trying to perpetuate the belief that Thai girls just want money from farangs?

@wprime,..

i think trolls would be the correct statement...

Creating "ghost story's" under "ghost members" accounts...

Just to keep themselves busy and make other people think how much knowledge they have...

a kind of "pissing" or "popularity" contest

Yes , a lot of shit happens in Thailand, but not more then in other country's.

We hear a lot about the shit in Thailand, coz the "cry-baby's"

Unless people make clear, correct and sound statements of the happenings towards themselves, i can not value the story's

A lot of hear say and cloaked rumors, where as its impossible to verify the truth...

If you dare to say something possible about Thailand and the Thai people , ... look there reactions...

anyhow, i enjoy my life and the positive people, may the rest drown in their own pithiness

I wish them balls, size elephant, flee's of a dozen dirty camels, an itchy crotch and arms to short to scratch...

For every good thing they say, we take one flee...

For every bad thing , we give them a dozen extra...

[F4UCorsair]

kovaltech, your enthusiasm makes you sound like a born again christian, or a reformed drunk.

Please come back and report in five years that all is going as well as it is now. We won't laugh if it's not.....promise!!

[kovaltech]

kovaltech, your enthusiasm makes you sound like a born again christian, or a reformed drunk.

Please come back and report in five years that all is going as well as it is now. We won't laugh if it's not.....promise!!

@F4Ucorsair,

I am neither of the above

In Thailand since 2005. married with Thai since 2006... Still going well and getting more wonderful...

Are you complaining about the rain during walking without an umbrella ? blaming the rain ?

[F4UCorsair]

kovaltech, your enthusiasm makes you sound like a born again christian, or a reformed drunk.

Please come back and report in five years that all is going as well as it is now. We won't laugh if it's not.....promise!!

@F4Ucorsair,

I am neither of the above

In Thailand since 2005. married with Thai since 2006... Still going well and getting more wonderful...

Are you complaining about the rain during walking without an umbrella ? blaming the rain ?

As I thought....my comments were wasted on you, but as a non native English speaker, I think I can understand that.

[Buckeye21]

Like Romeo and Juliette

[smotherb]

Why would anyone anywhere accept that? However, after 49 years in Asia, I've seen it happen to so many, too many times. It seems like a horrible nightmare. What could possibly make the perpetrators think they should even ask, and what could make the victims think they should pay? There seems only one possible scenario--shear greed meets utter stupidity.

[Grateful farang]

Orphan


I will marry an orphan coz she dont have any family for me to have to worry about.
You give them your money, thats up to you
I aint giving any family nothing!!!

[glomp]

I'd just ask "Do I get a receipt?" and then leg it when they catch on.

Edited June 30, 2014 by glomp

[96tehtarp]

Thanks for your post  netghost,

 

It is quite normal in Thailand that money is involved when marrying. I would say it is unavoidable.

 

I'm not recommending this, but one popular option would be to get her good and pregnant before you marry. As the months go on, the pregnancy will dramatically transfer the favor of the negotiating balance to your side of the scale.

 

Gold can be immediately pawned at the goldsmith's shop after showing it off to those who want to see it. So the gold ring "gift" should not be a problem as long as you are the one who gets the cash back from the shop. People here (Lower North) where I live regularly show off 10+ baht in gold at weddings and pawn it immediately afterwards.

 

The sin-sod or dowry is something that you have to negotiate hard and carefully. From reading your OP I gather that there is no doubt in your mind that the family wants money from you. They have made that perfectly clear.

 

Plenty of good Thai families accept sin-sot in gold, then they pawn it and give the cash back to the newlyweds. You could work out a monthly payment plan with the goldsmith shop while the shop holds the gold. Investing in gold this way has been very profitable over the past several years.

 

In the end how much you pay depends on how much you can afford, how good your negotiating skills are, how gullible you are, and how hard your fiance can sell the package you're offering to her parents. It helps too if you two really love each other.

 

If your soon to be fiance has a job she can get credit at reasonable rates and you can help with the payments. (You have already done this for a motorcycle). Even a down-payment on a plot of land could satisfy some parents. Hopefully she has a good job at a bank, hospital, or government agency. She's Thai so buying land is easy for her and there are plenty of townhouse developers who will fall over themselves to get a small deposit from her and give her the brochure to show her parents.

 

A car? If you are going to live here with her as her husband you will probably want one. Used cars are cheap in Thailand and car dealers too are all falling over themselves to get your deposit and sign her up for financing. 

 

You are probably aware that most Thai girls plying the online sites looking for farang husbands are trolling (fishing) for money.

 

You have a choice, either play their game... play the family's game, or don't. Now that they have kicked you out of the house you are really free to chose your own destiny.

 

Keep in mind you should be by now well aware of how any future life you may have with this woman will be. It won't stop here with these demands, and it will go on and on and on and on... The demands won't stop. The sex probably will.

 

Also be mindful that in any future life you choose to have with this woman your position in her "pecking order" will be at the bottom of the list well below her parents, and also well below that of just about everybody else. She has laid that "order" out for you in plain view. Hopefully you are not too blinded by love to see it.

 

Now that they have done you a tremendous favor (IMO) of kicking you out, you are a free man. Enjoy yourself.

 

Wherever you are there are short-time love motels nearby for between 300-500 baht per night. You can continue to enjoy each other's company at one of those. That's what the Thais do while they sort out the details you are now faced with.

 

Lastly, it is absolutely vital that you get her to sign a prenuptial agreement before you marry, and not afterwards. Search these forums to find out why. Equally as vital is that you get a will done. If you don't and she dies, you won't end up with what you expect, and you will be very surprised who does. Search these forums for more on this.

 

My gut tells me that if I was in your situation (again) I'd Run, Run, Run as fast as I could.

 

I posted the above reply to try to give you different various angles to look at the situation. The consequences of these decisions can eat up large chunks of your lifespan. Hopefully you will make the right decision. 

 

Good luck.