U-Turn on Visas Announced!

[ATF]

Two new Visa categories have been announced to stem the tide of foreigners leaving Thailand due to the recent change in Visa Regulations.

1. The Tantric Visa.

Eligibility: The Tantric Visa is designed to fulfill the needs of visitors to Thailand who spend copious amounts of money in Spas by day and work on the internet during the evening hours selling goods produced in Thailand and other Asean Countries tax free. This class of Visitor usually has a Trust Fund and can be found in "Ethnic" restaurants conversing with the un-welcome "Asia on a shoestring" types dreaming they were starring in "The Beach".

The Tantric Visa will be valid for 10 years from date of issue. Fee required shall be no less than 100,000 Thai Baht in Spa receipts.

Note: All applicants will need to attend an interview where they will be thoroughly quizzed on their liberal views and The Thai Government's total

mis-management of the Country and treatment of ethnic minorities. If any positive reaction is suspected the Visa will not be granted.

2. The Special Needs Visa.

Eligibility: The Special Needs Visa is designed to fulfill the needs of visitors to Thailand who suffer from Dyslexia, ADHD or Mental Incompetence.

This class of Visitor can usually be found in bars or sitting outside noodle shops or supermarkets drinking alcohol in copious amounts.

The Applicant must demonstrate the complete inability to read or follow simple instructions.

The Special Needs Visa will be valid for 5 years from date of issue. Fee required no less than 500 Leo or Singha Beer labels or bottle tops.

Note:All applicants will need to attend an interview where they will be thoroughly quizzed on the subject of Visas. If they show any indication that they have any tangible assets whatsoever or have any understanding of Visas, Visa Consultants or Lawyers the Visa will not be granted.

Welcome to Thailand! Enjoy your Stay!

Edited May 19, 2014 by ATF

[marko kok prong]

Classic, love it mate,probably will get pulled soon,but that ithru you or whatever he calls it should have a look,as too Arjunadawn.

[marko kok prong]

Sorry john 1 thru 10,the tights wearing artist.

[Swiss1960]

Good one... Guess it will soon be moved to the Pub section, so people can add their ideas about missing Visa that the Thai could offer... so here's mine:

3. The Going-Broke Visa

Eligibility: The going-broke Visa is for all foreigners who have a Thai GF found in a gogo-bar or have invested in a house for their Thai GF without any security. The applicants GIRLFRIEND must demonstrate the complete stupidity of her BF and show extracts of her BF's bank account back home, in order to ensure the ongoing inflow of money. The foreigner must demonstrate his complete lack of know-how of Thai lawas with regards to houses and ownership.

Note: Unlike the rest of the VISA, the applicant must not go to an interview and also must neither renew his Visa nor do a 90d reporting. The only requirement is that his GF will have to show up at immigration every 6 month and confirm that money is still flowing, otherwise the GF shall take the foreigner with her, so that the Visa can be immediately cancelled and the foreigner put into deportation processing.

[Rooo]

Moved to PUB.

[davidst01]

are you n.o 2 OP?

the problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard

[marko kok prong]

are you n.o 2 OP?

the problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard

I would say problem with the gene pool is that they let you jump in,and no atf,and i are separate entities,we just happen to agree on some things,answered your question?

[Jip99]

I think you have covered pretty much everyone I know in Thailand.

[transam]

Good one... Guess it will soon be moved to the Pub section, so people can add their ideas about missing Visa that the Thai could offer... so here's mine:

3. The Going-Broke Visa

Eligibility: The going-broke Visa is for all foreigners who have a Thai GF found in a gogo-bar or have invested in a house for their Thai GF without any security. The applicants GIRLFRIEND must demonstrate the complete stupidity of her BF and show extracts of her BF's bank account back home, in order to ensure the ongoing inflow of money. The foreigner must demonstrate his complete lack of know-how of Thai lawas with regards to houses and ownership.

Note: Unlike the rest of the VISA, the applicant must not go to an interview and also must neither renew his Visa nor do a 90d reporting. The only requirement is that his GF will have to show up at immigration every 6 month and confirm that money is still flowing, otherwise the GF shall take the foreigner with her, so that the Visa can be immediately cancelled and the foreigner put into deportation processing.

Where do I apply for that one.?.................... .......................

[Suradit69]

The Applicant must demonstrate the complete inability to read or follow simple instructions.

Thai Visa is awash with these potential applicants. They moan endlessly about immigrations, but they have no idea if they're here on a visa, a visa on arrival, an extension of stay or a visa exempt entry.

And of course, the special visa subcategory for those unable to read or follow instructions designed particularly for the self-described English teachers. Amongst recent candidates, the guy who asked who bares the cost of his work permit, the one who asked another poster if he wanted piece of mind, one who complained about having to do a boarder run, and all those who have absolutely no idea how to use loose or lose in a sentence. No one who reads these posts in the "education" forum can wonder at the often unfathomable spoken and written English in Thailand.

[pigeonjake]

all ive got to say is

dicksextits lule teh word

told you i had it,,,lol

[thairay]

The Applicant must demonstrate the complete inability to read or follow simple instructions.

Thai Visa is awash with these potential applicants. They moan endlessly about immigrations, but they have no idea if they're here on a visa, a visa on arrival, an extension of stay or a visa exempt entry.

And of course, the special visa subcategory for those unable to read or follow instructions designed particularly for the self-described English teachers. Amongst recent candidates, the guy who asked who bares the cost of his work permit, the one who asked another poster if he wanted piece of mind, one who complained about having to do a boarder run, and all those who have absolutely no idea how to use loose or lose in a sentence. No one who reads these posts in the "education" forum can wonder at the often unfathomable spoken and written English in Thailand.

was this a test for the English teachers to find the spelling errors?

[Suradit69]

The Applicant must demonstrate the complete inability to read or follow simple instructions.

Thai Visa is awash with these potential applicants. They moan endlessly about immigrations, but they have no idea if they're here on a visa, a visa on arrival, an extension of stay or a visa exempt entry.

And of course, the special visa subcategory for those unable to read or follow instructions designed particularly for the self-described English teachers. Amongst recent candidates, the guy who asked who bares the cost of his work permit, the one who asked another poster if he wanted piece of mind, one who complained about having to do a boarder run, and all those who have absolutely no idea how to use loose or lose in a sentence. No one who reads these posts in the "education" forum can wonder at the often unfathomable spoken and written English in Thailand.

was this a test for the English teachers to find the spelling errors?

No, I was using actual spellings used just in the past few days in the "education" forum.

It just got worse. Someone in the "education" forum just advised another poster that it would be difficult to find an institution that would "higher" him because of his age and if he wanted a "referal" his written English needed to improve.