Ok, i have a thai girlfriend

[gchurch259]

If you have to ask, you have doubts. Two things, Never invest more in a Thai Lady than you can walk away from without regrets. The other, read a book "Private Dancer" about Thai Bars girls and "Little Angels Life of a Novice Monk" about the hard time Thai boys have getting an education in rural Thailand.

The Buddist have a saying "Life is difficult", it is true in Thailand. But, that is not what it means, it means doing the right thing is difficult if you do not have a pure heart and mind. If you want to help someone do, but respect yourself in the process !!

Jerry

[chickenslegs]

i also had a Thai girlfriend. she was a hostess on Air Siam. that was 40 years ago, my weight was 20kg less... my stamina was 1000% of today's... ahhhh nostalgia...

You could always look her up again.

[bobo42]

In my opinion, there are only a few circumstances where this could work-out well for you long-term.

1. You planning to move to Thailand soon.

2. You making arrangements to bring her to live with you.

3. You are doing offshore work or similar that allows you to spend a great deal of time in Thailand throughout the year.

If none of those circumstances are true, then this relationship is probably a bad idea. I would recommend you do not deepen this for either of you. Keep it as a casual relationship that you both know can be ended at any time. Rather than send her money, just buy her a mattress to sleep on, or a new fan, or whatever might be a good gift to improve her life a bit.

But if you want to make this thing work long-term and you end up supporting her in some way, you really need to work out an end-game to stay together. Otherwise, its just a long-distance casual relationship, and you should treat it as such.

[arjunadawn]

Not saying this is true in your case, but lots of these ladies have decent places with other gals/boyfriends..... and keep an odd room on the side for appearances (of being single/poor).

My ex just passed away, and I found out just now that she had a husband that I was supporting for 8 years. When I did my visits to my kids, they lived in a shoebox apartment with no food on the shelf. This was just a decoy. Their real home (I never knew of) was elsewheres.

I am sorry. Your post shoots a hole in my idea to help another if it makes you feel good. This must have hurt you a great deal to learn of this deceit. I am deeply sorry this happened to you, or anyone. I guess its this crap that has the hardened posters counseling against involvement. It easy for me to see my point of view, until I read something like this.

[maximillian]

Gulfsailor:

A rotating napkin...

[alien2552]

if you can help, help, it's only good helping when we can, no matter the result, i do it when i can :-)

[canarysun]

I used to have a " lady friend " also from Amnat Cheroen ( i know the place very well ...) and she was also a hairdresser and also lived in a box room . Hmmmmm

[Lucifer]

" feel a little uncomfortable knowing she lives like this. I don't want to become a sponsor "

Well, instead of becoming a sponsor, you could buy her something she could use?

Maybe an AC or a fan?

Maybe a new mattress? Kitchen wares?

New scooter?

I have a girlfriend and she knows I cannot be her sponsor, but I do get her gifts that she can use and live with.

She appreciates that just as much.

I suspect, like most farrangs, you have a time share in a "girlfriend".

Nothing wrong with that.

[benalibina]

Not saying this is true in your case, but lots of these ladies have decent places with other gals/boyfriends..... and keep an odd room on the side for appearances (of being single/poor).

My ex just passed away, and I found out just now that she had a husband that I was supporting for 8 years. When I did my visits to my kids, they lived in a shoebox apartment with no food on the shelf. This was just a decoy. Their real home (I never knew of) was elsewheres.

I am sorry. Your post shoots a hole in my idea to help another if it makes you feel good. This must have hurt you a great deal to learn of this deceit. I am deeply sorry this happened to you, or anyone. I guess its this crap that has the hardened posters counseling against involvement. It easy for me to see my point of view, until I read something like this.

Reciprocity must be earned......some give it by being honest....some give it by being deceitful. Trust is in the eye of the beholder. Being played with by people who have no morals and only use kindness of others, on whatever level, is .......hurtfull.

[transam]

May I point out, it is not a one way street, my wifes daughter (25) has ripped off a couple of nice Thai guys via crap. I don't talk o her at all now, she KNOWS i have sussed her out.

[benalibina]

May I point out, it is not a one way street, my wifes daughter (25) has ripped off a couple of nice Thai guys via crap. I don't talk o her at all now, she KNOWS i have sussed her out.

Lets hope in your the case that the apple has fallen FAR from.....

[Tony125]

Depends on the situation no matter what those that have been burned on .TV say. Yes we all hear "never send a bar girl money" as you join a list of guys doing the same but years ago when things were a lot cheaper I had a girl who was struggling to get along ,worked as a waitress and I had been to her room. Just a mat on floor to sleep little radio. I worked at good paying job in USA so used to send oh say 4,000--5,000 baht a month sometimes (about $150 USD) not even a days pay for me. She stayed working but every month she would send me photos of the place where she bought a bed for the place, later a TV, a couch ect to show me as she said"I not like other Thai girls waste your money on cosmetics, drinks" I buying what I need. Call it Karma but was not a whole lot of money for me and was glad to see I was making a little difference in her life.

I am married to a different Thai girl now but she always appriciated what I did for her and now is a Thai model, drives a BMW , has a condo in BKK and home in Korat. Glad I was able to give her some comfort in her life and enjoyed whatever time we spent with each other.

[Naam]

i also had a Thai girlfriend. she was a hostess on Air Siam. that was 40 years ago, my weight was 20kg less... my stamina was 1000% of today's... ahhhh nostalgia...

You could always look her up again.

it is quite difficult to look up persons who died in a car crash 39 years ago.

[arjunadawn]

Depends on the situation no matter what those that have been burned on .TV say. Yes we all hear "never send a bar girl money" as you join a list of guys doing the same but years ago when things were a lot cheaper I had a girl who was struggling to get along ,worked as a waitress and I had been to her room. Just a mat on floor to sleep little radio. I worked at good paying job in USA so used to send oh say 4,000--5,000 baht a month sometimes (about $150 USD) not even a days pay for me. She stayed working but every month she would send me photos of the place where she bought a bed for the place, later a TV, a couch ect to show me as she said"I not like other Thai girls waste your money on cosmetics, drinks" I buying what I need. Call it Karma but was not a whole lot of money for me and was glad to see I was making a little difference in her life.

I am married to a different Thai girl now but she always appriciated what I did for her and now is a Thai model, drives a BMW , has a condo in BKK and home in Korat. Glad I was able to give her some comfort in her life and enjoyed whatever time we spent with each other.

Great story. Thanks.

[ALFREDO]

Was that her real room, or her show room to make you feel sorry?

Plenty of girls that have a really nice house, but pretend to live in a toilet so Mr. Right Knight will give them money.

First time I hear that scam.

You have to know some experienced chicks.

[wvavin]

Hey mate, in my opinion be man enough just to provide her a better accommodation.

[ALFREDO]

Not saying this is true in your case, but lots of these ladies have decent places with other gals/boyfriends..... and keep an odd room on the side for appearances (of being single/poor).

My ex just passed away, and I found out just now that she had a husband that I was supporting for 8 years. When I did my visits to my kids, they lived in a shoebox apartment with no food on the shelf. This was just a decoy. Their real home (I never knew of) was elsewheres.

"When I did my visits to my kids, they lived in a shoebox apartment with no food on the shelf. "

You did not complain,

or did you send only so little money that that "shoe box", was a plausible accommodation, under her financial, from you known circumstances?

[KamalaRider]

Why isn't anyone saying anything about the "normality" in most Thai's everyday life?

Most women and men here are born on a rug, well maybe delivered in hospital, but to sleep on the floor mat is what most Thai's do.

In the beginning of my relationship with my wife, she had problems sleeping in a bed.

Be happy she waits for you between trips, or is she?

[ALFREDO]

Not saying this is true in your case, but lots of these ladies have decent places with other gals/boyfriends..... and keep an odd room on the side for appearances (of being single/poor).

My ex just passed away, and I found out just now that she had a husband that I was supporting for 8 years. When I did my visits to my kids, they lived in a shoebox apartment with no food on the shelf. This was just a decoy. Their real home (I never knew of) was elsewheres.

Bad luck there, why didn't the kids tell you?

= He. who pays the piper, calls the tune.=

= He, who has the Gold makes the rules. =

Know,

that a woman married to a Falang - in the Amphoe main village had a nearly decade long live in Thai BF-policeman,

the mixed son from Falang grew up with that BF, real Falang father worked in EU, came only in holidays.

Mother had lived and worked long in EU, but did than not want to live there anymore came back with young son

and the son said father to the policeman,

when the real Falang father came, the police BF slept during that weeks in his police quarters and the mixed son never said a word to his visiting father.

Worked for years.

[ALFREDO]

......you don't know if she owns 3 houses....because of people like you......

Always think "very bad" of people. Not nice!

[khunPer]

»I don't want to become a sponsor...«

– In that case you shall not help her, as you said, she has been doing Okay without you.

I think it’s a question of how serious your relationship is and expectations – many Thai women do expect a boyfriend/husband, who can provide, a bit like in old time Western countries. Talking about it can help; like how much money do she make from her hairdresser job and how do she spent them – like making a budget – then you can see if and how you can fit in with improvements. If you are serious about the relationship, you may wish to show her you are a “good hearted man” and improve/upgrade her life...

[benalibina]

Not saying this is true in your case, but lots of these ladies have decent places with other gals/boyfriends..... and keep an odd room on the side for appearances (of being single/poor).

My ex just passed away, and I found out just now that she had a husband that I was supporting for 8 years. When I did my visits to my kids, they lived in a shoebox apartment with no food on the shelf. This was just a decoy. Their real home (I never knew of) was elsewheres.

Bad luck there, why didn't the kids tell you?

= He. who pays the piper, calls the tune.=

= He, who has the Gold makes the rules. =

Know,

that a woman married to a Falang - in the Amphoe main village had a nearly decade long live in Thai BF-policeman,

the mixed son from Falang grew up with that BF, real Falang father worked in EU, came only in holidays.

Mother had lived and worked long in EU, but did than not want to live there anymore came back with young son

and the son said father to the policeman,

when the real Falang father came, the police BF slept during that weeks in his police quarters and the mixed son never said a word to his visiting father.

Worked for years.

What happened ?

[ALFREDO]

What happened ?

I got involved,

as the policeman used the time I was in my home country or strayed a bit in Cambodia,

butterfly myself, to start a relationship with my GF, I had 2 children with to,

Seems he was a good womanizer, who looked for wives or GFs of Falang with potential good money!

Spoke from marriage with my GF, she fell in love, he went to play High Low dice games with her, she lost a lot money!

His GF married with Falang found out and the two ladies nearly fist fought! War of words followed.

I got suspicious to, but when I found evidence in some mobile SMS, he had already dumped my GF, the cow-my GF had run out of milk-money?

Officially, he did not want to loose and hurt his number one woman where he lived.

Later the Falang husband retired, came to Thailand and the situation got difficult, also the Falang split his time between a beach resort and Isaan.

The policeman than,

to the displeasure of his to a Falang married GF had numerous affairs with women and made a child with a young Thai woman,stays with her.

Do not know if the Falang found out all and do not know if he is still with his "good" wife.

But you remembered me now, I will find out, visit them.

Anyway, the policeman, I spoke later myself to him, but not from that story,

must have to know how to sweet mouth the ladies well, my GF, still likes him! Or more!

[benalibina]

What happened ?

I got involved,

as the policeman used the time I was in my home country or strayed a bit in Cambodia,

butterfly myself, to start a relationship with my GF, I had 2 children with to,

Seems he was a good womanizer, who looked for wives or GFs of Falang with potential good money!

Spoke from marriage with my GF, she fell in love, he went to play High Low dice games with her, she lost a lot money!

His GF married with Falang found out and the two ladies nearly fist fought! War of words followed.

I got suspicious to, but when I found evidence in some mobile SMS, he had already dumped my GF, the cow-my GF had run out of milk-money?

Officially, he did not want to loose and hurt his number one woman where he lived.

Later the Falang husband retired, came to Thailand and the situation got difficult, also the Falang split his time between a beach resort and Isaan.

The policeman than,

to the displeasure of his to a Falang married GF had numerous affairs with women and made a child with a young Thai woman,stays with her.

Do not know if the Falang found out all and do not know if he is still with his "good" wife.

But you remembered me now, I will find out, visit them.

Anyway, the policeman, I spoke later myself to him, but not from that story,

must have to know how to sweet mouth the ladies well, my GF, still likes him! Or more!

Ohhhh.

[Thakkar]

Here's a thought:

Instead of putting her up at a hotel, why not put the roaches into a roach motel?

Why not offer her means and tools to improve her own life? Pay for schooling, equipment or whatever else it takes to earn her way out of squalor?

T

[slygeeza]

the rain in spain falls mainly....

[smotherb]

OP, you want to know what's worse than living in a dump? It's being offered a few days to live in luxury, and then going back to the dump. You're not doing her any favors. Once you show her the good life, you need to do better than just a few days on your vacation. Unless you're prepared to share her with some other guy who will offer more.

My, aren't we a bunch of ole softies? So, offering a few days in luxury is hurtful to the poor little thing. So much so that you believe you owe her more? And, you would be afraid some other guy will offer her more? Please, how many sweet little things have one or more 'sponsors' sending them money every month? The OPs girlie may have been shrewd enough to arrange that squalid little room, just to stroke his wallet. Did she show you her sick buffalo too? However, if you 'luv' her, all sensibilities are out the door, go ahead and be a sponsor. You won't be the first, or the last.

[David48]

What happened ?

I got involved,

as the policeman used the time I was in my home country or strayed a bit in Cambodia,

butterfly myself, to start a relationship with my GF, I had 2 children with to,

Seems he was a good womanizer, who looked for wives or GFs of Falang with potential good money!

Spoke from marriage with my GF, she fell in love, he went to play High Low dice games with her, she lost a lot money!

His GF married with Falang found out and the two ladies nearly fist fought! War of words followed.

I got suspicious to, but when I found evidence in some mobile SMS, he had already dumped my GF, the cow-my GF had run out of milk-money?

Officially, he did not want to loose and hurt his number one woman where he lived.

Later the Falang husband retired, came to Thailand and the situation got difficult, also the Falang split his time between a beach resort and Isaan.

The policeman than,

to the displeasure of his to a Falang married GF had numerous affairs with women and made a child with a young Thai woman,stays with her.

Do not know if the Falang found out all and do not know if he is still with his "good" wife.

But you remembered me now, I will find out, visit them.

Anyway, the policeman, I spoke later myself to him, but not from that story,

must have to know how to sweet mouth the ladies well, my GF, still likes him! Or more!

That is a really interesting story ...

Thanks for sharing, I understand in part.

God I wish that English was your first language.

[barmatt]

Mate dont be such a tight ass and slip her a few baht, it wont break the bank.

[dotpoom]

I would hardly call her your G/F....that is hardly a way to treat somebody you call a friend...especially an "intimate friend". If it's just a relationship for sex then that's a different story. Would be hard for a lot of people to sleep comfortably in a nice bed knowing they had left their "G/F" living in a slum and still refer to her as your Girlfriend. I think you know that at heart or you wouldn't be asking the question.

Edited May 20, 2014 by dotpoom