I Drive With Revenge In Mind

[bowerboy]

I have been living and working in Thailand for 10 years on and off and driving (i mean driving the car myself) on Thai roads daily for a solid 2 years now. The way that people drive on Thai roads is utterly shocking and this is backed up by the appalling death toll rates here (the second highest in the world and easy to see why).

The upshot of seeing the utter and total lack of consideration on the roads is that I now drive with a "if you can't beat them, join them" attitude and my entire driving ethos is to cause as much inconvenience to other drivers as possible. In any given driving situation i look for the way I can annoy other drivers the most. I find this is the only way I can stay sane on the roads here is by knowing that I am getting some form of "revenge" on people that I know would and will do the same to me.

Some examples:

1. At intersections, crossroads and traffic lights, if possible and safe, I always try to follow the car in front of me as the light is changing to red so that I get stuck in the middle of the junction so that it blocks all other traffic trying to move in other directions.

2. If the middle lane is heavy with traffic on the motorway and I am sure no can overtake me on the inside then I slow right down to 80kms per hour and ignore anyone behind me tailgating and flashing their lights.

3. I always try and pull out in front of cars and then do not accelerate so that they have to slow down to avoid running into the back of me.

4. Where possible I always try and park as close as possible to the yellow parking place dividing line so the next person in the adjacent space finds it hard to park.

5. I always find an empty parking space and leave my shopping trolley squarely in the middle of it so that if anyone wants to park there they first have to get out and move the trolley.

6. I never park close to the kerb but try and park as far away from it as possible whilst leaving the absolute minimum available space for cars to drive by.

I think it is expected that you will drive here in the most selfish and inconsiderate way possible and its almost as though other road users anticipate this and (happily) adjust accordingly. The terrible truth is that if you drive in a way that is even slightly considerate of other road users then you will end up causing a crash.

Am I the only one who drives with revenge in mind?

BB

[CharlieH]

No! Frankly, you seem like an arseho**, I would hope that people drive with SAFETY in mind and adjust their driving to the conditions present as I am sure any normal person would do, and not "react" emotionally to others inability or aggression. Although it must be said that can be difficult at times.

Do it to the wrong one, you'll end up 'roadkill' !

Edited June 1, 2014 by CharlieH

[Skint]

Facepalm.......

[Loptr]

(the second highest in the world and easy to see why)

Link please as I have read this on TV before but no one has ever substantiated it with facts.

[MrJohnson]

You have now become part of the problem and not part of the solution. You don't sound old enough or mature enough to have a drivers license. I suggest an alternative form of transportation or get a driver. You will probably live longer.

[Swiss1960]

You'll be soon to appear in the death row statistics, that much is for sure. Maybe a change of medicine would be appropriate?

Sent from my HTC One XL using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[Briggsy]

Ha ha.

Great post.

May I suggest you incorporate the wide/narrow turn manouevre. This is where some a***hole decides to overtake you as you are turning right or left at an intersection. You can usually spot they are going to do this beforehand. Whichever side they overtake on, veer into them as if you didn't see them. forcing them to abort the manouevre. Call it a free lesson.

[seajae]

mate, maybe a little bit overboard, I know I have countless times wanted to pull back out in front of those overloaded tracks and single cabs that hog the overtaking lane and drive slow then slow right down to give them some of their own medicine but have not done it as yet due to the good chance of a gun being fired at me. The road rules here are completely ignored, actually I doubt many drivers even know what they are, they are simply only concerned with what is best for them. You do get the occasional good driver but not often, no indicators, just pull out in front of oncoming traffic, use what ever side of the road they want to to overtake, expect everyone else to get off the road for them etc, it is very frustrating to say the least. I drive as per the road laws, not the ones thais just make up themselves, I ignore flashing headlights and refuse to move off my side off the road so they can use it to overtake, I do not let them just pull out in front of me when I have right of way, I drive entirely by the rules. I think you may be overdoing it a bit but then again I can understand why but there is a good chance you will end up having someone shoot at you eventually, face can be pretty nasty.

[wprime]

Don't forget to use the turn lanes to push to the front of the queue so that you can drive slowly in front of everybody.

Also, what are you doing in the middle lane on the highway when there's a perfectly good right lane to cruise in at low speed.

[Costas2008]

OP, hope you have an old banger, because you will not last long.

But most important is your life and wellbeing than the car.

With this attitude you will be going to the hospital soon.

What are you saying here?

Because others are bad drivers we should be the same?

Because others take drugs we should take also?

No, it doesn't work like that.

Please don't forget Kiplings poem.

'if' by rudyard kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master,
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)

[bowerboy]

http://apps.who.int/gho/data/node.main.A997

http://www.who.int/gho/road_safety/mortality/traffic_deaths_number/en/

http://gamapserver.who.int/gho/interactive_charts/road_safety/road_traffic_deaths/atlas.html

If you have spent any time driving here you would not be questioning the validity of the claim.

[Spoonman]

Ha ha.

Great post.

May I suggest you incorporate the wide/narrow turn manouevre. This is where some a***hole decides to overtake you as you are turning right or left at an intersection. You can usually spot they are going to do this beforehand. Whichever side they overtake on, veer into them as if you didn't see them. forcing them to abort the manouevre. Call it a free lesson.

Love it. going into my work there is a few speed humps on the roads. the guys/gals in their lowered sheetboxes always do a wide crab crawl over them.... I see em about to do it so I jump up their open side and slooooooowly go over the speed hump forcing them to stop and wait...

[bowerboy]

Briggsy...I was going to put that one in too but I thought it may be too advanced of a move for many people....but yes I am definitely working on that technique but it does require some practice...

[sustento]

One of these days you are going to annoy someone who's carrying a firearm. Good luck with that.

[samran]

Darwin Award coming your way my friend.

[wprime]

If you can't beat them you couldn't be a very good driver. Most of them drive on instinct, they're highly predictable. Particularly the aggressive drivers who just put their foot down and try to push as far forward as they can. With a bit of timing and keen observation, one can calmly negotiate their way through traffic and come ahead of the most aggressive Thai drivers.

It's fun watching them get angrier and angrier as they're constantly on full throttle on braking hard in their new BMW or Hilux and yet they can't seem keep up with my 18 year old Audi A6 as I appear to be driving calmly, leaving safe gaps, using blinkers and making no sudden maneuvers.

[Robby nz]

So its not Thais who are bad drivers its loony farang who think they know everything.

[swissie]

Usually, after working and living in Thailand for 10 years, Farangs have a maid and the husband of the maid functions as the "chauffeur". It becomes natural and is part of the many unwritten laws in Thailand.

Of course, if employment is "Native-English-Teacher", forget it !

Cheers.

[jay1980]

2 wrongs don't make a right

[Soutpeel]

appalling death toll rates here (the second highest in the world and easy to see why).

and one assumes if the OP keeps doing what he is doing he will be addition to this statistic....

Drives like an arse, and then feels obligated to get onto TV and brag about it...what a dip...

[nickmanchester2]

I had someone overtake me tonight (we were both in cars) on a normal 2 way road with bikes all around and heavy traffic.

there was no way to get any further than the gap I had left in front of my car as, as I said, heavy traffic after that and on coming traffic... I was amazed that he overtook me just to get in front of me and no further.

He had green number plates what is this for? some kind of government car trying to escape Thailand?

[Soutpeel]

I had someone overtake me tonight (we were both in cars) on a normal 2 way road with bikes all around and heavy traffic.

there was no way to get any further than the gap I had left in front of my car as, as I said, heavy traffic after that and on coming traffic... I was amazed that he overtook me just to get in front of me and no further.

He had green number plates what is this for? some kind of government car trying to escape Thailand?

Green plates are taxi's I believe..

[rideswings]

I, for one, think that if you are committed to driving like that, you should put a little red light in the front of your car, and hire yourself out as a taxi driver. That way you could make a little extra money on your way to work because thats exactly how most taxi drivers drive here. Just kidding...

Seriously though, maybe its time you took a short vacation. You are not going to change the way these maniacs here drive, and I find its best to keep Jai Yen whenever Im driving. Back home, we always say that the worst drivers on the road were Asian women who were new to the country and new to the roads. They just dont have the situational awareness that most others do. And here in Thailand we are in the epicenter of a growing middle class where they can buy cheaper cars to use as road weapons against us road veterans.

I can only tell you that you are lucky to have a car which gives you a layer of sheetmetal between you and the homicical maniacs behind the wheels of buses and taxis. I spend 2 hours a day in gridlocked Bangkok traffic driving my GF to work on my trusty Honda Click which I find to be the perfect urban assault vehicle. Its easy to flick in between cars while lane splitting, and gets 110mpg to boot. I dont wear any body armor which I hope does not prove to be a mistake, but sometimes I drive overly aggressively when a drivers does something stupid.

Heres a video I recorded of my daily commute in Bangkok traffic. In it, there are examples of almost all the traffic offenses you cited that others drivers do that make you angry. Taxis and baht buses pulling in front and abruptly stopping, pedestrians walking blindly across the street, people turning left from the right lane, blocking intersections, and much more fun. My GF has an iron constitution, she is the bravest woman I have ever met to ride with me every day.

Edited June 1, 2014 by rideswings

[neverdie]

I, for one, think that if you are committed to driving like that, you should put a little red light in the front of your car, and hire yourself out as a taxi driver. That way you could make a little extra money on your way to work because thats exactly how most taxi drivers drive here. Just kidding...

LOL @Rideswings ! 55555555

[n210mp]

Obviously the OP is having a laff with us and as usual there are those who cannot understand that the lad is just seriously frustrated and stretching a point or two in order that He gets rid of that stress and frustration on the forum , rather than actually do what He says he does on the Thai roads

Having said that I would suggest that the OP stops driving for a couple of weeks and then He may appreciate just what He is missing, this may have a beneficial effect on his stress levels and his future safety

[nidieunimaitre]

So its not Thais who are bad drivers its loony farang who think they know everything.

google "sarcasm", next read the OP again.

[Vacuum]

Robby nz, on 01 Jun 2014 - 19:47, said:

So its not Thais who are bad drivers its loony farang who think they know everything.

Bingo!

[JUDAS]

Why are so many getting wound up by the OP. To me it immediately read as an amusing bit of satire.

[nidieunimaitre]

Obviously the OP is having a laff with us and as usual there are those who cannot understand that the lad is just seriously frustrated and stretching a point or two in order that He gets rid of that stress and frustration on the forum , rather than actually do what He says he does on the Thai roads

Having said that I would suggest that the OP stops driving for a couple of weeks and then He may appreciate just what He is missing, this may have a beneficial effect on his stress levels and his future safety

Ah! You beat me with 1 minute.

[Neeranam]

You forgot - when you want to turn left, overtake the car in front then slam on the brakes to turn left.