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Farang Wai-ing Farang, Why?


george

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[no wai]

As this thread is focussed on etiquette, I find it ironic to read a farang ( Zen D ) correcting CTG ( Whom I assume is either a pretty Thai national of female persuasion, or an alias of arcane manufacture), on Thai customs. Without even showing the lady the courtesy of replying to her by name!

With all due respect, ZenD, six months in Pattaya qualifies you to correct nobody but those with less experience than yourself of experiencing whatever broad(sic) spectrum of life experiences you've survuved in that time. Try applying that premise to life and be amazed by your sudden rise in popularity.

A sixth month old Thai child will probably know more than you appear to about Thai culture. And, probably, respect.

I really mean you no malice ZD. I'm sure you'll look back and see what I mean. It's not just you though, there is a low grade of disrespecting ('dissing) going on in many forms on this forum. Could we please remember that a lot of members and guests are actually Thai and should not be spoken about as if not present.

I liked your comment, CTG, succinct. :o

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Yes, but the point of this whole thread is not if you wai Thai people but farang wai'ing other farang. I wai to Thais and am often wai'ed to first as well. I would never wai a farang as this is strictly a Thai custom and frankly, smacks of pretentiousness. It just seems foolish to ignore a fundamental of Thai culture and even more foolish to pretend you are so 'native' as to wai other farangs.

Should you wai a Thai person who wai's you first? Of course, to ignore the wai is rude and it is not that hard to learn how to do it gracefully. Just as it is rude to ignore an outstretched hand for a handshake.

Does the initiator of the wai matter? Does the height of the hands matter? Yes and yes. Younger wais older, subordinate wais superior. The older the person you are waiing the higher the hands should be. Wais to monks and royalty (like I ever get the chance to wai royalty) shoud be eye/nose level with head bowed. Wais to younger or subordinates should be fingers at mouth level. Would I wai my father? Of course not. Would I wai my father-in-law? Of course, but only after not seeing him for a long time, or when I am coming to say goodbye before going home for a visit.

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SBK

Sounds like you pretty well have it sorted:-) and very well put with a reminder of the original thread.

Others almost there Try Robert?? Culture Shock. Thailand for clues.

Foreigners to foreigners. Why not Wai young children first. ie instigate the Wai. Try Waing all those great Guys and Gals at the store that work as servers. Instigate.

Should raise a few smiles:-)

Best D

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SBK

Sounds like you pretty well have it sorted:-) and very well put with a reminder of the original thread.

Others almost there Try Robert?? Culture Shock. Thailand for clues.

Foreigners to foreigners. Why not Wai young children first. ie instigate the Wai. Try Waing all those great Guys and Gals at the store that work as servers. Instigate.

Should raise a few smiles:-)

Best D

Would they smile at you or laugh at you ?

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SBK

Sounds like you pretty well have it sorted:-) and very well put with a reminder of the original thread.

Others almost there Try Robert?? Culture Shock. Thailand for clues.

Foreigners to foreigners. Why not Wai young children first. ie instigate the Wai. Try Waing all those great Guys and Gals at the store that work as servers. Instigate.

Should raise a few smiles:-)

Best D

Robert and Nanthapa Cooper. Published by Times Books International

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For HAroihenry

As this thread is focussed on etiquette, I find it ironic to read a farang ( Zen D ) correcting CTG ( Whom I assume is either a pretty Thai national of female persuasion, or an alias of arcane manufacture), on Thai customs. Without even showing the lady the courtesy of replying to her by name!
Firts of all , I was giving My opinion through my experience without meaning to diss CTG, this post was not intended to be a reply to "her??" post.

The fact that you assume that "SHE's a THAI national" Shows only how much you know about Forums as i will demonstrate right after this post. In review of her englisch and style of writing i would presume she is not a thai national ... If she is a extend an apology beforehand... it doesn't really matter anyway..

With all due respect, ZenD, six months in Pattaya qualifies you to correct nobody but those with less experience than yourself of experiencing whatever broad(sic) spectrum of life experiences you've survuved in that time. Try applying that premise to life and be amazed by your sudden rise in popularity.

My post were ment to aid those with less experience coming here. They are merely an expression of my experience. Read it , if you like it ok, if you hate same ok for me, delete for all i care.. My post are not there to instegate popularity cause i really don't give a hoot...Neither are they there to BE no 1 in ranking or popularity "hey doctor". They at least give you something to think about and are not Dumbed up onliners.... Wether you like them or not is not the point ....

A sixth month old Thai child will probably know more than you appear to about Thai culture. And, probably, respect.
A six month old knows " im hungry give me food" and that's about it. Luckily they are not spoiled by anybody's culture yet , be it thai or otherwise...Did you ever consider that disagreeing maybe even respecting somebody more ????
I really mean you no malice ZD. I'm sure you'll look back and see what I mean. It's not just you though, there is a low grade of disrespecting ('dissing) going on in many forms on this forum. Could we please remember that a lot of members and guests are actually Thai and should not be spoken about as if not present

As said this is your assumption and not my meaning. i never speak about somebody as if not present. I am well aware thai people read this thing as many other nationalities do to. I'm even willing to discuss my thoughts in person with them , they will see they have a wrong opinion in their head about me. It's not because my post are confronting that they don't hold a bit of truth in them. Get out of your ego and see what is really said...

I'll know demonstrate how you change gender and nationality.

B

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For HAroihenry
As this thread is focussed on etiquette, I find it ironic to read a farang ( Zen D ) correcting CTG ( Whom I assume is either a pretty Thai national of female persuasion, or an alias of arcane manufacture), on Thai customs. Without even showing the lady the courtesy of replying to her by name!

Firts of all , I was giving My opinion through my experience without meaning to diss CTG, this post was not intended to be a reply to "her??" post.

The fact that you assume that "SHE's a THAI national" Shows only how much you know about Forums as i will demonstrate right after this post. In review of her englisch and style of writing i would presume she is not a thai national ... If she is a extend an apology beforehand... it doesn't really matter anyway..

With all due respect, ZenD, six months in Pattaya qualifies you to correct nobody but those with less experience than yourself of experiencing whatever broad(sic) spectrum of life experiences you've survuved in that time. Try applying that premise to life and be amazed by your sudden rise in popularity.
My post were ment to aid those with less experience coming here. They are merely an expression of my experience. Read it , if you like it ok, if you hate same ok for me, delete for all i care.. My post are not there to instegate popularity cause i really don't give a hoot...Neither are they there to BE no 1 in ranking or popularity "hey doctor". They at least give you something to think about and are not Dumbed up onliners.... Wether you like them or not is not the point ....
A sixth month old Thai child will probably know more than you appear to about Thai culture. And, probably, respect.

A six month old knows " im hungry give me food" and that's about it. Luckily they are not spoiled by anybody's culture yet , be it thai or otherwise...Did you ever consider that disagreeing maybe even respecting somebody more ????

I really mean you no malice ZD. I'm sure you'll look back and see what I mean. It's not just you though, there is a low grade of disrespecting ('dissing) going on in many forms on this forum. Could we please remember that a lot of members and guests are actually Thai and should not be spoken about as if not present
As said this is your assumption and not my meaning. i never speak about somebody as if not present. I am well aware thai people read this thing as many other nationalities do to. I'm even willing to discuss my thoughts in person with them , they will see they have a wrong opinion in their head about me. It's not because my post are confronting that they don't hold a bit of truth in them. Get out of your ego and see what is really said...

I'll know demonstrate how you change gender and nationality.

B

The change of gender is more complex than he thought. And the use of English might take a bit of polishing.

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There is huge relevance to who wais first. I hate to say it so bluntly, but you're simply wrong on this point.

You are absolutely right. I had worked with this certain employee for a few years. He was much older than me, but was from a lower social status. He always waied me first. I would wai back right away to accept his respect for me.

I also wai this lady who owns a small massage place I've been to quite a lot. But I do NOT wai anyone who I have no respect for even if he is older than me. Oops, there I said it was a "he"! :o

I once automatically shook a Thai's hand. But there was a farang present and I was in a farangland.

But as for a farang waiing farang without any Thai present.... :D:D:D:D

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Foreigners to foreigners. Why not Wai young children first. ie instigate the Wai. Try Waing all those great Guys and Gals at the store that work as servers. Instigate.

Should raise a few smiles:-)

Best  D

Would they smile at you or laugh at you ?

Or would they be shocked?

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As i see Thais interacting everyday i don't believe there is a relevance to "who goes first"

As I see it, I should be a millionare by now. But I'm not.

There is huge relevance to who wais first. I hate to say it so bluntly, but you're simply wrong on this point.

Agree. If you do not know when and how to do it, do not do it,... :o

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HHRH

MAybe because in this post she wrote that she had a wife who's a teacher ??

cutethaigirl Posted on: Thu 2004-03-11, 04:07:26 

Replies: 15

Views: 370  One Legged Bill

Take it from me, and the others your $2000 will just cover the fine if they catch you.

We, as in my wife did it once and that was a good few years ago . Seemed easy and cheaper than a flight so Passport went. She did not, and 5 year old sons too.

Now she is a teacher and has had many work permnits and the visas.

Last week they checked a lot and now she has NO VISA NO WORKPERMIT and a pile of %%%%% to sort out.

If you think you are special then good luck my friend.

Maybe you're alter ego ??

beside's why didn't you keep the non edited post of two minutes ago ?

B

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ZD

Posted on Sun 2004-03-14, 19:45:17

  Zen D

QUOTE 

In review of her englisch and style of writing i would presume she is not a thai national ... If she is a extend an apology beforehand... it doesn't really matter anyway..

You can't be serious?

Pre-edit: In review of your englisch(sic) and style of writing I would judge you to be a windowlicker. :o

I chose to edit this because I felt that it was insulting to you. Now I feel as if it is the windowlickers that deserve my apologies. Sorry, all windowlickers.

Nice grammar again. Try guided mode.

HRH

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Sorry HRH

I'm not an english teacher.

You can call me what you want , i know it doesn't reflect that much on me.

I'm not that quickly insulted :o

it's just text on a screen , how can it touch my being?

By the way , you can at least agree that i was right about cutethaigirl.

check it out for yourself

cutethaigirl

If somebody has 9 post and is a newbie , but talks like an expert there is always something fishy.

Now Don't fall in love with Amazingthaigirl you hear ?

B

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Wai returned :D

Probably wrong but who cares anyway.

I just see that even if i'm completely doing it wrong all the time,

Most Thai's at least respect me for trying.

I wouldn't go so far to say that you shouldn't.

By the way:

Went to What doi suthep today. got a good laugh from some thai seeing me playing with the sticks. They really didn't seem to understand that a fat farang could do that. A woman asked my wife if i was a buddhist, when she replied yes, the woman was very respectfull about it. In 20 seconds apart we got 2 very different opinions.

And yes i probably do things wrong there all the time since i'm not raised in the buddhist tradition. Which doesn't mean i was not a buddhist from birth.

I would say that Respect As Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder..

A wrong gesture will only make you lose it with ignorant people. Wise people will see through the gesture.

Beside You can only learn to do things good when you start trying and make mistakes at first. That's a universal law.

sllurp....

Window on my Ford ranger sure taste bad :o

:D:D

B

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As i see Thais interacting everyday i don't believe there is a relevance to "who goes first"

As I see it, I should be a millionare by now. But I'm not.

There is huge relevance to who wais first. I hate to say it so bluntly, but you're simply wrong on this point.

Here we are again CMT...we are agreeing on something for a change. The law of averages must have kicked in :o

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It's funny how worked up people can get discussing a hypothetical situation. Nobody except for the poster ever saw these farangs wai-ing each other, and there may have been a million reasons for them doing so.

I have seen it happening, as a jocular gesture between friends, and yes, in those cases there would be an amount of pretentiousness to the whole business - but in the long run - who cares? There are plenty of worse things to worry about.

As I understand it, and as I think CTG pointed out, the important thing is to not instigate wais to younger people or people of "lower standing", but to acknowledge when you're waied to by somebody else.

The fine tunings mentioned by SBK are all fine and commendable, but for me, these are things which should come with time - I don't expect myself to be able to adapt all these techniques once like some instant black belt Wai master. I get the comment "wai suay" quite a bit, so I must be doing something right (and probably a bunch of things wrong).

I would be VERY surprised if most of you have NOT once or twice made the mistake of wai-ing a child or someone of lower standing. I have certainly done so, whilst knowing I shouldn't, but it came as a reflex. I call it my unwanted auto pilot.

Have had a similar problem with overusing polite particles, and it is only of late that I have been able to add a reasonable amount of "khrap"s to the end of my sentences in the right circumstances, and omit them when not called for.

This problem presented itself because I learned Thai outside of Thailand for three years, and correct classroom behaviour in Thailand is something very different from everyday life here.

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It's funny how worked up people can get discussing a hypothetical situation. Nobody except for the poster ever saw these farangs wai-ing each other, and there may have been a million reasons for them doing so.

I have seen it happening, as a jocular gesture between friends, and yes, in those cases there would be an amount of pretentiousness to the whole business - but in the long run - who cares? There are plenty of worse things to worry about.

As I understand it, and as I think CTG pointed out, the important thing is to not instigate wais to younger people or people of "lower standing", but to acknowledge when you're waied to by somebody else.

The fine tunings mentioned by SBK are all fine and commendable, but for me, these are things which should come with time - I don't expect myself to be able to adapt all these techniques once like some instant black belt Wai master. I get the comment "wai suay" quite a bit, so I must be doing something right (and probably a bunch of things wrong).

I would be VERY surprised if most of you have NOT once or twice made the mistake of wai-ing a child or someone of lower standing. I have certainly done so, whilst knowing I shouldn't, but it came as a reflex. I call it my unwanted auto pilot.

Have had a similar problem with overusing polite particles, and it is only of late that I have been able to add a reasonable amount of "khrap"s to the end of my sentences in the right circumstances, and omit them when not called for.

This problem presented itself because I learned Thai outside of Thailand for three years, and correct classroom behaviour in Thailand is something very different from everyday life here.

But Meadish, how often have you seen inebriated farangs initiating a wai to the bargirls. :o

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