40 yo and still no children and wife

[expatsupreme]

I will have problem when being old and having 2 houses nobody to give to, that will be a bummer, I always wanted to leave my money to somebody when I die, to a family, not to a stranger......

and dying all alone, I have seen in Thailand, how they care for old people, very different than <deleted> up western world

[mesquite]

I will have problem when being old and having 2 houses nobody to give to, that will be a bummer, I always wanted to leave my money to somebody when I die, to a family, not to a stranger......

and dying all alone, I have seen in Thailand, how they care for old people, very different than <deleted> up western world

Will it to me, Bro.

[KittenKong]

I've done many things that are more meaningful and fulfilling. Doing a good job and leaving my client satisfied. Or giving money to charity. Or helping an old lady across the road. Or even having a nice lunch.

So you don't want to waste your time giving life to another human being and caring for them and raising them because you find it more fulfilling to satisfy clients and eat lunch?

You asked the question and I gave you a selection of things that to me are far more worthwhile and fulfilling than having children. You will note (or perhaps you didn't) that of the list of four only one is in any way self-centred, not that this makes it any way less satisfying.

If I wanted to care for and raise a child then I would select some needy orphan. That would be selfless. Producing new children is the exact opposite. The world already has far more people than it can properly support; it does not need any more.

Do you guys not realize that your parents had to sacrifice so that you could be living these fabulous childless lives?

Millions suffered and died in two World Wars in order that I should be free. I am very grateful and cognisant of what they did, but that doesnt mean that I have the slightest desire to go to war myself. In fact I would go to great lengths to prevent any war ever happening again.

[bkkjames]

What I am wondering is why, if people who have kids think that it is a so great decision (but most of the time it is NOT even a decision right ?), why these parents need to try to tell to people who do not want kids that they are wrong ?

I think that you just want us in the same troubles as you !!!

No thank you, without monkeys to feed my life is very happy already <3

so said the guy with the bw TV who one day walked into an electronics store and saw a colour television for the first time!

anyways, it is a personal decision : some people want kids, others don't. So be it.

[hughben]

"Me and my wife were happy for 25 years........ then we got married."

[Choonpon]

I will have problem when being old and having 2 houses nobody to give to, that will be a bummer, I always wanted to leave my money to somebody when I die, to a family, not to a stranger......

and dying all alone, I have seen in Thailand, how they care for old people, very different than up western world

Find an orphan to adopt. Train the kid well to take care of you. Of course you must treat the kid well too. Give him/her a monthly allowance. If you are unhappy with the kid, bring back to orphanage and exchange. Whoever takes care of you with sincerity till the end, will get your inheritance.

Why leave your inheritance to your family if they don't even bother to care for you?

[thaicookingchef]

I will have problem when being old and having 2 houses nobody to give to, that will be a bummer, I always wanted to leave my money to somebody when I die, to a family, not to a stranger......

and dying all alone, I have seen in Thailand, how they care for old people, very different than up western world

Find an orphan to adopt. Train the kid well to take care of you. Of course you must treat the kid well too. Give him/her a monthly allowance. If you are unhappy with the kid, bring back to orphanage and exchange. Whoever takes care of you with sincerity till the end, will get your inheritance.

Why leave your inheritance to your family if they don't even bother to care for you?

Totally agree, this is a good idea.

[expatsupreme]

I think somebody will be able to cure many sick buffalos with my money after I am old and gone.....

train an orphan, are you kidding? they are humans not little monkeys....

i think my last few years are going to be spend in some ashram in India, meditating, but who will wipe my ass if neded?

lol

[hellohello123]

in my will, i have left over 50% of my assets (not that its that much at this point in time anyway) to various charties, mostly for animals

id rather help innocent beings then someone who may see me as a walking atm, thailand or not

[MRYANG]

in my will, i have left over 50% of my assets (not that its that much at this point in time anyway) to various charties, mostly for animals

id rather help innocent beings then someone who may see me as a walking atm, thailand or not

Why do you want to help anyone or anything when you are dead, when you can accomplish much more alive?

"Let us not meet death with saved energy" (Swedish poet)

[hellohello123]

in my will, i have left over 50% of my assets (not that its that much at this point in time anyway) to various charties, mostly for animals

id rather help innocent beings then someone who may see me as a walking atm, thailand or not

Why do you want to help anyone or anything when you are dead, when you can accomplish much more alive?

"Let us not meet death with saved energy" (Swedish poet)

fair enough question,

firstly I Need to live, and I may need those assets down the line, I dont want to donate what I have now and then get sick or have an accident and have nothing to support myself

also, while im alive, I can earn/leverage/increase these assets and do more

[Choonpon]

I think somebody will be able to cure many sick buffalos with my money after I am old and gone.....

train an orphan, are you kidding? they are humans not little monkeys....

i think my last few years are going to be spend in some ashram in India, meditating, but who will wipe my ass if neded?

lol

That is not what I mean. Of course they are precious human beings. What I mean training is by means of education, basic skills including CPR, first aid knowledge. The kid will be your companion till the end. That way you won't have to worry no one to wipe your ass. Isn't it?

[Thongkorn]

I have no children of my own , I am 60, I got married at 53, I have lived a life a few would be envious of, In my opinion. It was not a decision not to get married. But when i met the Right person , I knew in a minute. And may i say the best thing to happen to me. I have four sisters who all have children, I like them , but i can hand them back when i have had enough. .unlike children of your own.

[kannot]

Maybe sit down with a therapist?

sit down "on" a therapist would be better though

[NoshowJones]

There are plenty of children in the world who were brought into the world by people who really should never have been parents. Don't join this club just because the rest of the herd tells you to.

That's the second time this herd word has popped up in this thread.

It's a laughable concept, especially in the west, and especially in the last fifty years or so.

In fact, in this regard Thailand now shares the same attitude as the West but Thailand has maybe taken it too far as the birth rate has plummeted.

Social pressure now is to not have children, or to have a small family.

There is nothing "herdish" in having children.

In fact, in the West its almost at the point of becoming unique.

There's nothing noble in not having children.

That doesn't make you unique - you are the new norm. And here's the bitter truth about it - outside your close family - no one cares.

I've seen the rise of the childless couple - and I couldn't care less about that either.

Just the same way as I couldn't care less when the husband dies and leaves their wife alone.

Then loneliness becomes the new norm.

I bet you know how that feels already. Get used to it - its not going to get any better.

When those close to you die - and you join the vast ranks of the discarded elderly - then you'll really feel it. If you're lucky you'll die suddenly in your sleep, if you're unlucky you'll enter into a long slow decline. And no one will be interested.

No sons will take you out to watch a sports match. No daughters will invite you round for a thanksgiving dinner.

You won't see your grandchildren graduate. You'll just turn to dust and be gone.

And no one will care. No one will care.

Up to you.

You made a thread about an experience that was beautiful and turned it into something quite ugly.

Who are you to judge another man's personal decisions and then wish him a life of misfortune on top of it.

There's nothing ugly in my post. Just a riposte to the arrogance of the word "herd."

Who are these people to demean those that have chosen to give birth?

And where did I wish a life of misfortune?

I outlined that path that is awaiting this generation.

I can guarantee there will be people who are reading this thread that already understand and are feeling the condition I describe.

That's why so many men come to Thailand looking for love.

Because they are lonely.

Your last two sentences, I came to Thailand looking for love, but I was not lonely, I was never short of female company, but, trying to find a woman who did not smoke or drink alcohol back in Scotland, very, very hard.

[hellohello123]

There is nothing noble about having or not having kids, its a personal choice. Key word "personal"

I dont judge on anyones personal decisions, but those that do, dont look down on others who decide not to, there is nothing more embarassing then having to listen to someone who looks down on those that dont have kids. Its just as bad as listening to someone who has maxed out their credit card and is in financial disaster from overspending on holidays, booze, car, latest gadgets, dining out complain about how tough their life is and how they deserve a better life and how unfair god is, and they wish someone would pay their card off

[opalred]

i was under the impression all came here to make children or try? CHEERS

[In Search of Space]

I like the trying bit

Lost

[Grindting]

Marriage and kids?

The biggest, most insidious trap mankind has ever devised. One designed to leverage key fundamental instincts to ensure that as many of us as possible stand still enough to generate revenue for the state.

The whole trap - school, job/career, girl/guy, marriage, mortgage/credit card debt, procreation and never-ending acquisition of consumer tat with which to compare yourself to other equally vacuous lemmings - is aimed at a majority too scared to question their programming lest they find themselves "left behind". They believe these things will somehow validate life choices that, thanks to the power of marketing - were never really theirs to make in the first place.

Yes it's a cynical view but given how many men emerge from the trap skint, bitter and mistrustful, I bet they wish they'd looked at it more closely.

OP should be absolutely ECSTATIC that he's been fortunate enough to elude this nonsense.

God knows I am

Say what you will about all that..

For me I'd hate to grow old alone, to me that is pretty miserable. My wife is my best friend and even if by the time we're up to our knees in old age and she looks like a dried prune at least I'll still have my best friend and our marvellous kids (should we be lucky enough to have kids one day) and their kids. Family is a great thing and no amount of luxury wrist watches and big bank balance can replace that.

Each to their of course

[David48]

I like the trying bit

Lost

Ran out of likes ...

The 'trying bit' is the best bit ...

[Mosha]

Remenber a woman is born with her eggs. You are handing out a recording as your contribution. The older you get the more worn out that recording becomes.

[opalred]

if she is trying harder than you run good luck

[thailiketoo]

Remenber a woman is born with her eggs. You are handing out a recording as your contribution. The older you get the more worn out that recording becomes.

So is it better to be a smart old person or dumb young person?

[thaicookingchef]

Marriage and kids?

The biggest, most insidious trap mankind has ever devised. One designed to leverage key fundamental instincts to ensure that as many of us as possible stand still enough to generate revenue for the state.

The whole trap - school, job/career, girl/guy, marriage, mortgage/credit card debt, procreation and never-ending acquisition of consumer tat with which to compare yourself to other equally vacuous lemmings - is aimed at a majority too scared to question their programming lest they find themselves "left behind". They believe these things will somehow validate life choices that, thanks to the power of marketing - were never really theirs to make in the first place.

Yes it's a cynical view but given how many men emerge from the trap skint, bitter and mistrustful, I bet they wish they'd looked at it more closely.

OP should be absolutely ECSTATIC that he's been fortunate enough to elude this nonsense.

God knows I am

Say what you will about all that..

For me I'd hate to grow old alone, to me that is pretty miserable. My wife is my best friend and even if by the time we're up to our knees in old age and she looks like a dried prune at least I'll still have my best friend and our marvellous kids (should we be lucky enough to have kids one day) and their kids. Family is a great thing and no amount of luxury wrist watches and big bank balance can replace that.

Each to their of course

But a family in Thailand is cheap and easy to buy, so no need to hurry, I will get one when I will need it <3

[Thanet]

I admire your restraint. Holding out as long as you have done is quite an achievement.

[Choonpon]

Actually marriage is a gamble. If you are lucky, you get a wonderful wife as life companion. You have kids, your kids may grown up to be filial and good people.

If unlucky, you get a wife who doesn't care about you or the family, worse still make you a cuckold. The kids you love dearly.. would scam your assets out of you, leaving you nothing for old age. When they have their own family, you have somehow become a liability to them. Then at that point, you will be overcome with disappointment about life. Then you will wish to turn back the clock.

[benalibina]

Marriage and kids?

The biggest, most insidious trap mankind has ever devised. One designed to leverage key fundamental instincts to ensure that as many of us as possible stand still enough to generate revenue for the state.

The whole trap - school, job/career, girl/guy, marriage, mortgage/credit card debt, procreation and never-ending acquisition of consumer tat with which to compare yourself to other equally vacuous lemmings - is aimed at a majority too scared to question their programming lest they find themselves "left behind". They believe these things will somehow validate life choices that, thanks to the power of marketing - were never really theirs to make in the first place.

Yes it's a cynical view but given how many men emerge from the trap skint, bitter and mistrustful, I bet they wish they'd looked at it more closely.

OP should be absolutely ECSTATIC that he's been fortunate enough to elude this nonsense.

God knows I am

Say what you will about all that..

For me I'd hate to grow old alone, to me that is pretty miserable. My wife is my best friend and even if by the time we're up to our knees in old age and she looks like a dried prune at least I'll still have my best friend and our marvellous kids (should we be lucky enough to have kids one day) and their kids. Family is a great thing and no amount of luxury wrist watches and big bank balance can replace that.

Each to their of course

But a family in Thailand is cheap and easy to buy, so no need to hurry, I will get one when I will need it <3

Not to say it is entirely untrue what you write, but its quite a sad way to look at it (yourself ??!!) like that.

[benj005]

Video games my friends!

Who needs a wife and kids when you can get lost in a game for hours each and every day. Games like Skyrim are like virtual simulators. Much better than real life because you don't have to fork over money, and you can live the life of a virtual king!

For sex you can either watch porn or visit the Nana district in Bangkok.

[David48]

Video games my friends!

Who needs a wife and kids when you can get lost in a game for hours each and every day. Games like Skyrim are like virtual simulators. Much better than real life because you don't have to fork over money, and you can live the life of a virtual king!

For sex you can either watch porn or visit the Nana district in Bangkok.

A well adjusted social individual ...

[benj005]

Video games my friends!

Who needs a wife and kids when you can get lost in a game for hours each and every day. Games like Skyrim are like virtual simulators. Much better than real life because you don't have to fork over money, and you can live the life of a virtual king!

For sex you can either watch porn or visit the Nana district in Bangkok.

A well adjusted social individual ...

I wouldn't engage in this type of life style myself. I know of people who do it and are perfectly happy. They tell me that they put in 12-14 hours a day playing games and are perfectly happy. They hate dealing with people and are content to play games in their bedroom until they grow old.

I have a cousin who is 56 years old. He still lives at hone with his mom/dad who are in their 90s. He has never been married and has no children. He sits in his bedroom and reads/watches videos all day. Hey, if he's happy more power to him.

Edited July 11, 2014 by benj005