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Posted

'Returned with an axe'

Sounds like he's not running on all cylinders.

Were any of those Fords?

Posted

Reminds me of the story of a policeman who stopped a lunchtime drunk and asked his name. "Shagbreak," said the man. The policeman swallowed hard, then repeated his request. "I told you - Shagbreak," replied the drunk. The policeman had had enough. "Alright, sir, give me the phone number of your wife, so I can check." "Don't have a wife," said the drunk. "OK," said the cop. officer. "What about the phone number of the place you work?" The drunk fumbled in his pocket and pulled out a business card with a number on it which the policeman immediately rang. When a voice sounded on the other end, the policeman said: "Excuse me, do you by any chance have a Shagbreak there?"

A free Chang next time you're in Cha Am for the first person to come up with the original punchline (or a better one!).

Posted

Reminds me of the story of a policeman who stopped a lunchtime drunk and asked his name. "Shagbreak," said the man. The policeman swallowed hard, then repeated his request. "I told you - Shagbreak," replied the drunk. The policeman had had enough. "Alright, sir, give me the phone number of your wife, so I can check." "Don't have a wife," said the drunk. "OK," said the cop. officer. "What about the phone number of the place you work?" The drunk fumbled in his pocket and pulled out a business card with a number on it which the policeman immediately rang. When a voice sounded on the other end, the policeman said: "Excuse me, do you by any chance have a Shagbreak there?"

A free Chang next time you're in Cha Am for the first person to come up with the original punchline (or a better one!).

"you must be joking, the union has battled for years to get a coffee break."

Posted

Decades ago I committed a white male, about age 25, named Jesse James Outlaw to the United States Penitentiary at Leavenworth Kansas to commence his sentence for the crime of Bank Robbery.

His parents were no doubt very proud.

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)

I did once hear in my youf of a fanatical "Gooner" giving his son four middle names, I really can't remember the first and last, but the middle ones were Arsenal One Tottenham Nil.

I really didn't make that up or this;

I had a buyer once called Sarah Connor, who was not amused in the slightest when I asked her to wait, telling her that I would be back, in an Austrian accent, after leaving the keys for the house she was viewing in the car. It was a bet and I had done it on purpose. She didn't buy the house.

Also had a buyer called Ben Kenobi, an older gentleman from Africa or similar, who after being asked many times by my collegues and I if he had a relative called Obi Wan. We thought it was hilarious (we were young) and eventually I asked him if he had ever heard of Star Wars. He hadn't but I'm pretty he did a bit of research because we never saw him again.

I used to have dealings with a lawyer called Andrew Payne, from a firm called Wright Hassal & Company in Reading. So I was dealing with "a pain from right hassle and co"

All true.

SDM

Edited by SDM0712
Posted (edited)

Their is a British MP called Hilary, the son of the late Tony Benn.

Hilary is actually a mans name as well as a ladies, or have I missed the point, I have the feeling I have.

SDM

Edited by SDM0712
Posted

I know a guy with a shovel called Doug.

Another guy I know doesn't own a shovel called Douglas

Posted

as a kid, friends and I would often scour the white pages in search of funny names...

two that I remember were a Russian fellow by the name of...Igor Itoratitov and a Chinese person named Chu Mai Wang...

laughs were had...many many laughs...

Posted

I got flamed on YT by a redneck with the handle 'Shelby GT' - classic 90s 'yer mum' stuff - its a shame that dickheads have to besmirch the name of a great man and a great car.

Posted (edited)

Their is a British MP called Hilary, the son of the late Tony Benn.

Hilary is actually a mans name as well as a ladies, or have I missed the point, I have the feeling I have.

SDM

True...

But just google "Hilary" just look under images, most are well blessed blonds...

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=hilary&rls=com.microsoft:en-GB:%7Breferrer:source?%7D&rlz=1I7ASUM_enGB495&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=35nLU4rcM4LB0QWBwYHQAg&ved=0CEcQsAQ&biw=1600&bih=775

Edited by Basil B
Posted

Their is a British MP called Hilary, the son of the late Tony Benn.

Hilary is actually a mans name as well as a ladies, or have I missed the point, I have the feeling I have.

SDM

True...

But just google "Hilary" just look under images, most are well blessed blonds...

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=hilary&rls=com.microsoft:en-GB:%7Breferrer:source?%7D&rlz=1I7ASUM_enGB495&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=35nLU4rcM4LB0QWBwYHQAg&ved=0CEcQsAQ&biw=1600&bih=775

It's a very old fashioned name for a man,

The only one I know of in modern times is Dr Hilary Jones, http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hilary_Jones_(doctor)

Other examples are Vivian or Shirley

SDM

Posted

The other day I met a guy who made it clear to me that his name was Dick Head, not sure though if that was his real name.

I went to school with a guy called Richard Head. What were his parents thinking?

Posted

as a kid, friends and I would often scour the white pages in search of funny names...

two that I remember were a Russian fellow by the name of...Igor Itoratitov and a Chinese person named Chu Mai Wang...

laughs were had...many many laughs...

Oh dear, the discussion IS degenerating … so i'll join in as seems to be the way of ThaiVisa blogging, and get slightly askance .. Decades ago i moved to San Francisco (I'm straight) and was taken to a Chinese restaurant … i was asked by an obviously nice young gay waiter if i wanted the special of the day …. "creme of sum yum guy" … laughs all around at me for being naive … I'm slow, but not dense ……. i declined.

Stiff learning curve when one changes cultures …

Posted

The other day I met a guy who made it clear to me that his name was Dick Head, not sure though if that was his real name.

I went to school with a guy called Richard Head. What were his parents thinking?

There was a guy called Andrew Pratt in by school, normally referred to as "a pratt"

SDM

Posted

In 8th grade, i has a classmate name John Dunn. Seems kids would go through the white pages and look for name … his father was listed as R U Dunn. So John admitted the family got calls asking if they were R U Dunn? And when the father come on line, the kids would ask again if he was R U Dunn? He would say yes, and the kids would ask if he flushed yet? Eighth grade humor … John was not a happy Dunn.

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