Hello,

My wife and I are contemplating a move to Thailand. We would appreciate your views and experiences of the best place to be for a married English couple.

We've been to Thailand for a short (very) break in the late 70s and have lived in Oman and Egypt for a couple of years each ... so have knowledge of cultures very different to our own.

What we're looking to do is set up a business and have a few choices ... (1) scuba diving (2) property development (3) guest house (4) English language school (5) internet/software development (6) agency for software companies.

Our son has lived in Thailand for a year and our nephew and wife's brother are currently there. We have the men's perspective but not the ladies. Can you help ? While there's down sides to everything and we don't wish to appear naive ... we're really looking for your success stories.

Thanking you in anticipation

Well, this is a hard one to answer really, if you are looking at business advice then obviously your choices for dive shops are limited to places that are 1)not overrun with dive shops already and 2) have good diving. English language schools require a location with enough people willing and able to pay so that kind of crosses a few more locations off your list.

If you are just wondering what life is like for a farang couple then I would say it is harder and, in a way, easier for two farangs. Harder in that "a little bit of thai" won't get you very far, being two farangs makes you a target for every scam artist in the country, and in a place with few farang, will make you feel very lonely. However, easier in that Thai people generally have more respect for men who don't come and get a young Thai girl. Most of the Thai women I know with farang partners often receive poor treatment at the hands of other Thais in places where they are not known. The perception being, of course, that if she is with a farang, she is after his money and is either a prostitute or no better than one. And regardless of what some posters in this forum seem to believe, your relationship is in no greater danger breaking up because of the attractiveness of Thai women than it would be at home. None of the farang couples I know have broken up because of Thai women. A person who strays and is incapable of infidelity would have that issue anywhere, the person he strays with isn't the issue, the issue is his (or her) inability to commit to one single person.

For your wife, well, if she has lived in Oman then any restrictions she feels here will be minor compared to there! I have found that, at least for me, the biggest thing I miss from home is a female confidant/friend. Hope any of this helps, Girls, any other perspectives out there?

Hi Buster

To be honest when it comes to business I wouldn't have a clue.

Agree with sbk about your wife not feeling the restrictions she would have had in Oman. Like sbk it's having that female confidant that's hard - but then everyone is different. I enjoy the company of other females, just sitting around, joking and laughing - this is quite a rare occurance (one of the downsides). Depending where you'll be located there are expat clubs you can join - these are useful for making contacts and having a social outlet. Personally I find the thai people very friendly and actually helpful - even with the language barrier we manage to understand each other (quite amusing at times). Wish you all the best and good luck with it all

Hi SBK,

Thank you for your response. Yes you hit the nail on the head … we were “wondering” what life is like in Thailand for a Farang couple. And yes in Oman it was a case of covering up with clothing for my wife … although beaches and pools were ok … but there was little restriction other than that and she had a really great time. Egypt was the hardest for her … indigenous males very chauvinistic ! But that’s a generalisation. We made some really good friends there who were very genuine. I would imagine it would be the same in Thailand. Our son and my wife’s brother … both “worldly wise” … and even though they can see below the veneer they’ve made genuine relationships with Thais.

We’re committed … been together for over 30 years. Although for us men living where woman who are so physically attractive and “easy” to obtain … although I hear the culture is very different from this perspective away from the hotspots … it’s easy to understand why a partner would be concerned. In Oman we lived in a complex full of single males … so I experienced it from the man’s perspective.

We’re seeking a lifestyle change … but I guess if a partner is constantly worried when the other is out of sight then that’s not a nice situation to be in. It is an issue based on perception and one that we’ll have to work out if we’re to be successful in a move to Thailand. Our son and daughter-in-law are also contemplating the move and we would probably be joined by our younger son and brother-in-law. At least that’s how we’re talking/dreaming at the moment. If it all worked out we would have our own “unit” which we could expand out from.

We’ve been told it’s best to stay away from Patong, Pukhet and Pattia. What I would like to know is … is there an “ex pat” (Farang couples) community out there … away from these places … where Farang couples have a successful business of some type or another. If there is such a place and we can find it … then we can do some research from here re businesses, accommodation etc. As they say the top three things for a home and business are location, location, location !

If this sounds naïve please let me know.

Hi Nat,

It’s sometimes hard to understand … but there were very little restrictions in Oman. Locals were great … really friendly and genuine. Left my wallet once in an open jeep parked at a souk … it was still there when I got back a while later ! Egypt was a problem … not with general dishonesty … but males mainly looked down on European woman thinking they were “easy”. But this is a generalisation and like yourself in Thailand we found very genuine people and the language barrier a cause of laughter. Got by with English and sign language most of the time.

I’m picking up from yourself and sbk that it’s difficult to meet with like minded female farangs … and I wonder if this is the same throughout Thailand. In both Oman and Egypt we lived in a good expat community … where my wife was able to make lots of friends. Not saying that we’re looking for “Brits Abroad” type of thing as we think mixing with the locals important. But isolation is a bit of a fear for my wife.

You mentioned that one of the downsides is not being able to sit and talk with females when you want to. Can you let me know the upsides for female farangs ? It's easy for me ... the thought of getting into the local culture, the scenary ... beaches and jungle, the food, just simply being in a different culture with the associated challenges, getting a business going, away from the cold winters, snorkling and scuba diving etc. etc. all really appeal. But I guess my question is a bit redundant ... in that all these things are good as long as you enjoy them. What do you enjoy about being Thailand ?

Hi Buster, It sounds like you & your wife have deceided to settle around a beach type area & these usually have a larger number of farang women living in close proximity than say, Bangkok or the countryside. I lived on & off in Samui for the past 6 years & have a wonderful group of female friends there, of all ages too, myself being near the younger at 28 then up to & over 60 years old. We weren't an expat club but just a group of women who all knew each other in varying degrees of closeness who met up, visited with each other and took care of each other when needed. I also have a lot of thai friends there, both male & female, but without the girls there I doubt I would have stayed as long as I did. As it is I'm now living in Issan & my lack of female contact is my only real problem here!

I would suggest that as you & your wife haven't been to LOS in a long time that you take an extended holiday here first & check out a lot of different place to get a feel for the places that you visit & then choose a location. Doing it this way will give you & your wife a chance to "check out" the local expat community as each place has it's own feel & "types".

The upside for a women living in los are hundred fold, beatiful soundings, an easier life than the daily grind at home, cheap, decent accomadation, preferable cost of living, beach, sun, ocean, nightlife, the complete & utter jelousy of freinds back home , but ultimately, it is what you make it.

Good luck & have fun finding the right place for you both.

Hi Buster

I'm in Bangkok and as Boo mentioned it's a proximity issue. On the up side it gives me an excuse to travel to the some of the islands and even up north to enjoy the company of like minded females. I live in Bangkok because this is where my work is, but I'm a nature person at heart and enjoy getting out of bangkok and sitting on a quiet beach. I find everything about the thai culture fascinating and just enjoy observing people's behaviour in the lovely warm weather. I also enjoy my work and even when I stressed and tired the thai children manage to put a smile on my face. Think Boo's advice of coming over and visiting makes sense - that way you and your wife can get a feel of what you'll be in for.

Again all the best.

Hi Buster, before I give you the dubious benefit of my short experience in Thailand I would like to get this web site off my chest !! It's a wonderful site and one year ago my wife and me were logging on every night and enjoying every minute. We were in the process of having a house built in Samui, this was to be our only house in paradise- we are not well off but worked hard and of course realised it was a gamble but so is life. Then we stopped talking in the Forum as so many people were negative and some even laughed at us for being so naive- apparently the general concensus was that we would end up with a bit of paper worth nothing and 36000 pounds lighter. Well Buster the end result is that my English wife is settled into a sooo beautiful house in Koh Samui, I am still working in Oman [ we can relate to you] and everything is wonderful-so much for the doom merchants.

The company that built our house is Thai/Canadian. We owe 1000 pounds for the final payment. When I went to pay last month, they told me to keep the money and pay when we are completely happy with the house ! How many companies would do that and we have been living in it for 2 month's.

So going back to your original query. Come to Samui, this company is building another phase and compared to the rest of the Island the prices are so cheap. We had friends out from the UK last week and they are selling up and moving to "Phase Two". In our street there are 6 houses, 3 Brits a German and an Italian

and my wife on her own so I am not worried at all.

Might still be a gamble, but who cares. Any feedback from the doom merchants?

Best wishes,

Pete.

PS Where were you in Oman?

Hi Pete,

I must say that the responses were generally on the positive side … although the biggest thing the girls missed was chats with their “own kind”. Glad to hear your wife is ok where she is. And that you are so pleased with your builder. I asked for success stories as I’d heard of so many bad tales … was perusing other areas before I posted. It’s wise (very ?) to be cautious in these things but like you say there’s risks associated with everything. But I must say that I am very wary about going to Thailand … basically because of the financial side of things … we were looking to invest in a business.

We were located first in Medina Kaboos (not sure of spelling now) and then Seeb. Worked with BAe (as was then) on the air defence system. Fabulous. Great place for my wife and children … were with other families in a specially built place … pool, restaurant etc. … totally pampered and well cared for by the company. The Omani people we got along just fine with … exceptionally honest and friendly. We’ve been looking to go back there .. to set up a business taking people to see the sites and maybe a diving centre. At this time I’m trying to find out if this encouraged … but haven’t got any answers as yet. Also I understand that a foreigner cannot buy property there .. and that this may change middle of this year. If you have views on this would appreciate hearing them.

We were in OMan in the late 70s … I understand things have changed quite a bit … would appreciate an update. What do you do in Oman ?

Buster, have enjoyed reading thro' your thread. If you go to Samui you will find a ready made expat community of wife's and social clubs that will be good for your family. We weren't looking for that but have happily found it on our doorstep with neighbours from UK,Italy and Germany. Looking at your list of business opportunities then seriously I would forget it here. The Island is over-run with dive centres and your other plans for various reasons. It really is now a place to retire to and worry about nothing. A classic example is our friends from Norwich who last year bought a small resort in the north of the Island. They have done wonders, spent millions of Baht and it really is starting to take off. But at what price, instead of relaxing in paradise, they have aged ten years and are so stressed.

I am at RAFO Thumrait, 80 kms from Salalah working under conditions that make the picture of your compound sound like heaven.

I really do believe that Oman will become THE next tourist destination after Dubai. My wife and me lived in Dubai for 5 years and have watched it grow until now it is saturated. The place has become a haven for Russian and Chinese criminals. There definately is a market for good dive centres in Muscat. As far as I am aware, Oman will shortly be following the UAE's example in allowing foreigner's to buy freehold land and property, but the get out clause is of course that it is only valid for their lifetime. Friends in Dubai get round that by immediately selling the property to their children, but whose to say that they won't have an accident?

Anyway Buster, enough of this waffle. If I was you I would set up a business in Oman, buy a cheap house in Samui as a base and see how it goes. Best wishes to you and your family.

Pete

Pete, hello. Happenstance finds me in a similar position as you building a house on Samui. Discovered the Island two years ago, now our first home is 90% done, baan kinaree, top of the hill across from angelas cafe on the hill in bo phut. We have invested in other interests to the point where my girlfriend and I, both Canadian, are making arrangements to be living on Samui for this Jan. Iam currently finishing work here in Canada while my business partner who workes in Hong Kong oversees the landscaping and delivery of furnishings from Chang-mai. As a couple in our mid thirties we look forward to forging new frienships with like minded expats of all backgrounds. I would look forward to meeting your wife and friends on the Island when we are down next for drinks. Would like to think we could make some frienships as warm and inviting as the island itself.

Brian