Young girls should be taught to be more independent

[michaeltheR]

It really sucks to see that in an age of gender equality that Thai girls are still taught to find a successfull husband and marry. Would it not be more productive to teach them to be self sufficient and that they can achive their goals through hard work and education.

I noticed that even young smart foreign educated women want to marry up. Why not use their knowledge to be finanacially and socially sucessful? Would it not be more fulfilling?

[96tehtarp]

Most of the Thai woman I know are very independent and headstrong and often tend to be controlling and dominating in most matters. This is very evident after they have married a successful man and had children.

[willyumiii]

" in an age of gender equality"

My friend, you are making the mistake of judging Thai culture by western standards.

[David48]

Lets have a different thought.

Who the Frig are we to try and moralise another country.

How about the Thai people decide what the Thai people want to do.

Thailand doesn't need any more Evangelists.

Some people ...

.

[tonytigerbkk]

So you want Thai girls to be the same as Western girls?

[benalibina]

So you want Thai girls to be the same as Western girls?

Yes, free supply of skin whitening products will be helpfull to that as well.

[mesquite]

OP, it sounds like you are against Thai women marrying up. So what should they do if they become more productive and self sufficient as you suggest? Marry down? Be single?

[96tehtarp]

It appears the OP assumes Thai women are not equal and independent. This is a very common misconception in the West and quite far from the reality. This common view may be strengthened on the basis of Thailand's having a visible sex industry.

[michaeltheR]

OP, it sounds like you are against Thai women marrying up. So what should they do if they become more productive and self sufficient as you suggest? Marry down? Be single?

Dont see any problem of a woman marrying down.

[sdanielmcev]

Why? If you like independent women, go where independent women are. And, I agree. Thai women, that I've met are as independent as their western counterparts.

[thaipod]

It's more common for the Thai - Chinese families to arrange meetings of men from certain families, quite often to benifit business and the family profile.

My wife was coached by her father about getting married when she was in her 20's and there was a few times she was asked to attend dinners and there would be a stranger at their table and found out it was a prospective husband, and then walk out.

[michaeltheR]

It's more common for the Thai - Chinese families to arrange meetings of men from certain families, quite often to benifit business and the family profile.

My wife was coached by her father about getting married when she was in her 20's and there was a few times she was asked to attend dinners and there would be a stranger at their table and found out it was a prospective husband, and then walk out.

Well done by the girl. I do not undertand why a girl would want to be with a man who does not share common interests or values as the girl. Why would Thai parents try to make the girls to marry a man just because he can provide the sin sot?

[GuestHouse]

" in an age of gender equality"

My friend, you are making the mistake of judging Thai culture by western standards.

I'd bet you make the same mistake more often than not.

[96tehtarp]

It's more common for the Thai - Chinese families to arrange meetings of men from certain families, quite often to benifit business and the family profile.

My wife was coached by her father about getting married when she was in her 20's and there was a few times she was asked to attend dinners and there would be a stranger at their table and found out it was a prospective husband, and then walk out.

Well done by the girl. I do not undertand why a girl would want to be with a man who does not share common interests or values as the girl. Why would Thai parents try to make the girls to marry a man just because he can provide the sin sot?

The purpose of these meetings is to establish if there are any shared common interests and attraction between the potential couple. That's why parents will facilitate these meetings. A good match will provide mutual attraction, common interests, as well as business benefits and improve the family's financial profile.

[zeichen]

I don't see why a woman in today's world cannot be independent, confident, accomplished and still find a successful husband. What is wrong with women having both? If a woman desires to change her priorities and devote her life to a family instead of career what is wrong with that also? The world of equality should allow people to do whatever they want and not be judged or judge an entire culture on your limited perspective. OP get a life.

[michaeltheR]

I don't see why a woman in today's world cannot be independent, confident, accomplished and still find a successful husband. What is wrong with women having both? If a woman desires to change her priorities and devote her life to a family instead of career what is wrong with that also? The world of equality should allow people to do whatever they want and not be judged or judge an entire culture on your limited perspective. OP get a life.

My criticism is not about a woman marrying who she wants. She can marry up or down thats her choice. What I mean is that families should stop teaching their kids to only go for the sucessful man. In Europe we have female lawyers dating with low earning men. No problem at all. But in Thailand it is still frowned upon. Women should date and marry the men they love regardless rich or poor.

[96tehtarp]

I don't see why a woman in today's world cannot be independent, confident, accomplished and still find a successful husband. What is wrong with women having both? If a woman desires to change her priorities and devote her life to a family instead of career what is wrong with that also? The world of equality should allow people to do whatever they want and not be judged or judge an entire culture on your limited perspective. OP get a life.

My criticism is not about a woman marrying who she wants. She can marry up or down thats her choice. What I mean is that families should stop teaching their kids to only go for the sucessful man. In Europe we have female lawyers dating with low earning men. No problem at all. But in Thailand it is still frowned upon. Women should date and marry the men they love regardless rich or poor.

In Asian cultures marriage, family, children, and inheritance involve much more than love. People in Europe fall out of love on a regular basis, it's often fleeting and transient. Money and connections build family empires and their lifetimes span generations.

Edited August 25, 2014 by 96tehtarp

[mesquite]

I don't see why a woman in today's world cannot be independent, confident, accomplished and still find a successful husband. What is wrong with women having both? If a woman desires to change her priorities and devote her life to a family instead of career what is wrong with that also? The world of equality should allow people to do whatever they want and not be judged or judge an entire culture on your limited perspective. OP get a life.

My criticism is not about a woman marrying who she wants. She can marry up or down thats her choice. What I mean is that families should stop teaching their kids to only go for the sucessful man. In Europe we have female lawyers dating with low earning men. No problem at all. But in Thailand it is still frowned upon. Women should date and marry the men they love regardless rich or poor.

The women may have a problem with marrying down, though. In the US we have countless successful, attractive, black women who cannot even get a date. The successful black men marry/date white women, and the successful black women are left with men who are definitely below them and even in jail. They don't like white men 'cuz we're too boring.

[Bulldozer Dawn]

I don't see why a woman in today's world cannot be independent, confident, accomplished and still find a successful husband. What is wrong with women having both? If a woman desires to change her priorities and devote her life to a family instead of career what is wrong with that also? The world of equality should allow people to do whatever they want and not be judged or judge an entire culture on your limited perspective. OP get a life.

My criticism is not about a woman marrying who she wants. She can marry up or down thats her choice. What I mean is that families should stop teaching their kids to only go for the sucessful man. In Europe we have female lawyers dating with low earning men. No problem at all. But in Thailand it is still frowned upon. Women should date and marry the men they love regardless rich or poor.

This whole thread is a waste of time because there is no notion of love here in Thailand. Love equates to being taken care of and that in turn equates to money. Sure a young Thai girl may fall in love with a broke Thai punter. But her decision will be folloed shortly thereafter by a career path in Pattaya.

[meand]

Thai men and women do need to learn independence. It is not about converting them to be westerners or anything. Look, the average Thai person can't even get into a car and navigate their way around Thailand. It isn't about converting anybody, it is simply about being able to do basic things on your own. And btw, being bossy and headstrong does not make you independent by any means. It actually may be an indication that you have developed a system to boss people around so you can get simple things done.

[beachproperty]

OP ....your topic and further posts appear to be based on casual observation and a lack of knowledge of the Thai culture....as such ....

[samuibeachcomber]

Is n't thai society matriarchal..............that is the family unit is run by the women? Thai men are the babies,yet to grow up while the sister's are more mature have been taught about responsibilities...So i think the women are independent in this way.

The real problem for thai society is the poor education system.But it appears to me that "the powers that be" are happy to keep the poor ignorant.

[zeichen]

Why would a family encourage a girl or woman to marry beneath her status? If a woman is from a good family, successful shouldn't she have a partner that is the same?

Though the modern world has changed a lot the culture here is different and shouldn't be criticized just because you don't understand it.

Parents even put their children in classes or schools just to be with certain people. Even if they don't learn that isn't always the most important aspect of school here.

I have a friend who is from a very respected family and is often invited to social functions. His wife is from a poor rural area and she is never brought with him to these functions.

[h90]

I heard that even young men want to marry....

[namdocmai]

Who said they want to be independant?

My wife has many younger collegues who are treated as baby's and they seem to love that. They are around 25 years old but still can't do anything alone. They only care for their looks and cellphone and for the rest nothing at all. They never had boyfriends (except for playing computergames) and also never seen a sexmovie. Serious!

When my wife and the other managers talk about the young ones they act like they can't do anything at all because they are so young. When i was 25 i had travelled around the world alone allready but hey i m not a thai.

[Aree Wongwanlee]

"It really sucks to see that in an age of gender equality that Thai girls are still taught to find a successfull husband and marry. Would it not be more productive to teach them to be self sufficient and that they can achive their goals through hard work and education.

I noticed that even young smart foreign educated women want to marry up. Why not use their knowledge to be finanacially and socially sucessful? Would it not be more fulfilling?"

Er, where did you meet all those Thai girls you talked about? All the Thai girls, and women, I have met do not fit into any of your descriptions.

[wprime]

Er, where did you meet all those Thai girls you talked about? All the Thai girls, and women, I have met do not fit into any of your descriptions.

You can find them in the west while they're stil studying their degrees. They are so common that they're affectionately known as 'fob's (stands for fresh off the boat).

[96tehtarp]

Though the modern world has changed a lot the culture here is different and shouldn't be criticized just because you don't understand it.

Parents even put their children in classes or schools just to be with certain people. Even if they don't learn that isn't always the most important aspect of school here.

I have a friend who is from a very respected family and is often invited to social functions. His wife is from a poor rural area and she is never brought with him to these functions.

"Though the modern world has changed a lot the culture here is different and shouldn't be criticized just because you don't understand it."

The modern world has been engineered with a view to a reduction of traditional family values and a increased role of the state. A common criticism of marriages with Asian families is one marries the entire family. This is true and should be regarded as a plus instead of a minus. This unless one marries the wrong family.

"Parents even put their children in classes or schools just to be with certain people. Even if they don't learn that isn't always the most important aspect of school here."

This is widely practiced in almost every country regardless of the culture or whether it is Asian or not.

"I have a friend who is from a very respected family and is often invited to social functions. His wife is from a poor rural area and she is never brought with him to these functions."

Maybe she doesn't want to attend?

[mrtoad]

So you want Thai girls to be the same as Western girls?

I hope not

[thailiketoo]

My family has a shrine at home to my grandmother and her first husband. She was 16 when they married and he was 65. They had 8 children. Everybody loved gramps he was a great piano player, handsome old guy and he owned all the land in the valley. My grandmother's family went from sharecroppers to the largest landowners in the county. All the kids went to school and were hard workers. The boys multiplied grandfather's holdings into another State. Of the 8 children 3 boys were millionaires, one of the girls writes children's books and is quite well known. One was dyslectic but did well as a dairy farmer.