Baby coming soon, wife will stop working. How much should I pay each month?

[Friendly Stranger]

Op, you're playing Russian roulette with a machine gun. You're either very young, green or trolling for dollars based on what you've said.

Ok, enough body shots.

Congrats on the child and like mentioned get a budget together and start intemizing all the essentials as many of the other things like rent and sundry items are already known.

Don't you know a buddy or one her friends you can talk to or go on an expecting parent forum for assistance?

Good luck

Edited August 28, 2014 by Friendly Stranger

[bernd1616]

Why does she need a helper?

Is she disabled in some way?

Nappies and milk are about 800bht/month.

But if mom is breast feeding while at home, you won't need milk, so 400bht/month for nappies.

She is still being paid 10k/month, why do need to pay more than you did?

10k/month is still a good Thai wage.

you are just a very cheap charly and i guess you come from the usa with your slave master menthality. people ilke you should be treaten as you recomment. getting a salary of exploitation.

[overherebc]

OP, I hesitate to offer any advice because everything you have written after the initial post was quite offensive. I fear that I will get my hand bitten also.

I too was curious why you would "Pay your wife" anything if you were living together. I also thought that you were working abroad. Manning up is about taking responsibility not throwing some chump change at your wife. Do the dishes, clean some diapers, sterilize bottles, do the shopping, massage your wife's feat and back.

The expenses of a newborn are quite high. There are a lot of hidden costs. We went through and average of 6-8 diapers a day, if you are good you can potty train early but our daughter is 4 and still wears 1 diaper for the night. 50/50% dry. but as others have said at least 1k baht a month for diapers. Milk is expensive and since hospitals don't train women properly on how to breast feed, you will most likely have to buy milk. That is another 800-1,500 a month depending on the brand and quality. health care is typically free but the service is crap. If the Mom wants private care and all immunizations that are not covered by the 30 baht program, you will need to shell out another 800-1000 baht a month for that. Expect illnesses and colds and the like especially.

Don't waste money on a nanny unless it is a relative. You really don't want to expose your child to more strangers that really don't know shit about raising children.

You will spend a fortune on clothes and shoes as they child will grow out of everything every 1-2 months. Books, Toys, Entertainment, comfort foods, beauty products, home improvements and other nesting things are quite common also.

Everyone spends different amounts on different things but also remember this is the time that your wife will want more comforts and needs to be treated well. Depression is common after giving birth so make sure that you spend more energy and effort being supportive emotionally.

The rough estimate of having a child is about 10-15,000 baht a month more than what you have been spending up to this point. Then add school, and special classes on top of that in 6-9 months.

Welcome to fatherhood. It is a great joy especially if you are an active participant. If you are a deadbeat who just pays money and thinks that is enough, you really aren't in the same club as the rest of us.

good luck. My only advice is be the man that your partner and child need you to be not what you think you should be.

He could save the 1000 a month on diapers by building a brick fireplace in the garden to boil the nappies in, but then he would want to know how much to pay his wife to collect and chop the firewood.

[Mudcrab]

Don't worry about money.

Just keep a tab of all outgoings while wife enjoys her "holiday".

Then back charge her when she returns to work.

With some creative accounting you could book the shirts in at 10 baht - just tell her it's the effect of inflation.

Naturally you could charge her interest on her unpaid amount until paid back in full.

With any luck you might even turn a profit on the whole deal.

[ggt]

I'm proud you are taking the initiative to step up and be a man...soon you will be required to take another step...in being an involved father...your time and participation in the parenting process is crucial for both wife and child...

[The Man Who Sold the World]

davidst01,

You're trolling right?

Pay whatever it costs to support your family. Even if it takes every satang you have.

[Tchooptip]

... so we switched back to breast feeding.

Of course my wife has proved to be a very capable mother in every respect and I consider myself very lucky for that.

Mate ... I'm sending the boys (twins) over.

Forwarding address please ...

Shame on you unfit father

Yes he's a very bad bad man.

Seriously now, is there a tradition of sleepovers in Thailand? It doesn't seem like it. Sometimes it would be nice to loan the kids out for a long-weekend.

....Absolutely, but the pair of you could be organising that together ( each turn)

(Of course with the twins on the other side you won't be the winner )

Edited August 28, 2014 by Tchooptip

[ozyjon]

Remember where you are,,reading your post was really frustrating, you have come from the west to the east because you like this country and you like the culture but you have brought ALL your western bad habits with you, what have you learn't,,,nothing, i suppose the next thing is you will want to know is what kind of baby stroller is best suited for the farm? They don't use baby strollers in Thailand,, just wipe/open your eyes and look all around you,, a girl i know works in Siam Paragon in the glassware department,, she earns 4000 baht per month as they all do,, a rice farmer harvester in Issan (where you live) earns 100 baht per day so why are you paying so much -- you are not in the U S of the big A, shall we read your story in the near future of,, i have spent all my money, what do i do now OR another westerner penniless sleeping in the streets of Bangkok save your money,, you might need it later.

[belg]

do you live in thailand, or your wife does and you visit her a few times per year ?

[thehelmsman]

Remember where you are,,reading your post was really frustrating, you have come from the west to the east because you like this country and you like the culture but you have brought ALL your western bad habits with you, what have you learn't,,,nothing, i suppose the next thing is you will want to know is what kind of baby stroller is best suited for the farm? They don't use baby strollers in Thailand,, just wipe/open your eyes and look all around you,, a girl i know works in Siam Paragon in the glassware department,, she earns 4000 baht per month as they all do,, a rice farmer harvester in Issan (where you live) earns 100 baht per day so why are you paying so much -- you are not in the U S of the big A, shall we read your story in the near future of,, i have spent all my money, what do i do now OR another westerner penniless sleeping in the streets of Bangkok save your money,, you might need it later.

Why do you quote what the going day's pay for rice harvester is when you're simply making it up.

[Jonmarleesco]

Good grief! Work it out with your wife! And I'm unconvinced either she or you need a nanny - at least not for the baby.

[KOZMO]

To the OP.

Why do you ask a question about how much money you have to pay your wife? These are your kids to, so just pay the bills that comes witht having children If not, use a condom!

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

IF YOU ARE LIVING OFF YOUR WIFE AND SHE MAKES MORE THAN YOU THEN WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE??? FREELOADING???

TRYING TO BE A MAN??????????

[Gillyflower]

You make it sound as though she is your employee. Where does the 5 baht per shirt come in? Thank God, you aren't my husband.

[khundon]

Well, I'm almost, but not quite, at a loss for words.

"How much do I give her?" you give her as much as she needs, that is what a marriage is about, shareing everything.

I note, that you only want to pay her more than normal and hope that, in a few months, revert to your normal arrangement.

So what, if she earns more than you, JH Christ, she is your wife and the child is yours, why the heck do you have to come on here and ask such silly questions? Sounds a bit like "whats yours is mine and whats mine is my own" to me.

As a married couple, you should split the care 50/50 if possible and if she is not up to that because of her condition, then you do EVERYTING until she is 100% again.

If you don't change your attidude towards marriage and being a parent, I give it a year at most.

Good luck, you are going to need it.

[benalibina]

Sounds a bit like "whats yours is mine and whats mine is my own" to me.

Thanks, i forgot about this one......heard it a couple of times in the past.....must be familiar to you as well...

[BKKdreaming]

First most young Thai Girls that get knocked up get little or nothing from the babys father who does a runner ,

So good for you for at least staying around......

Now go to Tesco and see what things cost , Pampers are expensive 700 baht , milk is also about 700 baht , yes its great if she can breast feed but many cannot......

Plus all the little stuff......

And it keeps getting more $$$, as they grow out of clothes etc , then school , then braces , then a motorbike, then Uni......

Just be a real father and spend some time with the kid , and when you are not a couple anymore do not forget about them.....

And one of the best things to do.......Get a Western passport for the kid .........then they have more options later in life if you are around or not.....

Hey but they are so cute ......

[zeichen]

Mods can you finally end this thread. The OP stopped responding after the first page. All other posters aren't reading what others wrote or just tit for tat. This has now gone to 5 pages of absurd.

[David48]

^^ Mate, I can understand your feeling.

Sadly the OP just worded his OP the wrong way.

Attacked me ... and then lost his audience as a result of the combined negative comments.

I don't think he's a Troll ... he has a long posting history asking the logical questions along the way.

Most likely he hasn't returned because because of the loss of face.

Simply put, I wish he would return, offer a blanket apology, suck it up (now that is being a man) and ask some more advice.

.

[96tehtarp]

I don't understand all the vitriol towards the OP.

His questions was: I'm having a baby, how much will it cost.? This is a completely appropriate and acceptable question to ask on this forum. Any foreigner, or for that matter any soon to be father living anywhere, for the first time having children wants to know the answer to that question, regardless of how poorly it was/is worded. It is a huge responsibility that comes out all blue and wrinkly, screaming and peeing everywhere. Yes, how much will it cost?

Ask me 20 years from now and I'll have the answer.

Any foreigner asking questions on this forum should also expect a substantial amount of vitriol even with the assistance rigorous moderation.

[hotsoup]

I love Trolls. They don't half get a worked up set of responses, sometimes!

I went and bought some adult diapers. OOh they ain't cheap and I am very fussy about the Meiji and Dutch Mill milk

never mind Dumex and Enfagro or in my case Oldiegro. Anyway, I can iron and cook and have enough money for Gin for the baby; so if someone wants to give me 10K B to stay at home,

not work and have a baby. PM me.

Edited August 29, 2014 by hotsoup

[96tehtarp]

I went and bought some adult diapers.

The most economical solution is to use a combination of reusable cloth diapers and disposable.

[orosee]

I don't understand all the vitriol towards the OP.

His questions was: I'm having a baby, how much will it cost.? This is a completely appropriate and acceptable question to ask on this forum. Any foreigner, or for that matter any soon to be father living anywhere, for the first time having children wants to know the answer to that question, regardless of how poorly it was/is worded. It is a huge responsibility that comes out all blue and wrinkly, screaming and peeing everywhere. Yes, how much will it cost?

Ask me 20 years from now and I'll have the answer.

Any foreigner asking questions on this forum should also expect a substantial amount of vitriol even with the assistance rigorous moderation.

Well, there was quite a bit more than what you paraphrase. Plus an aggressive reply of the OP further down the page. A lot of the comments here refer to the first post, the "5 Baht per shirt" thing (personally, I found the strictly alternating restaurant bill settling a bit more funny). That, and a possibly unfortunately worded "man-up". Most posts here are from people who read the OP and then nothing else, so repetitive first reactions.

Whether the OP is a troll or not (probably not), some of the replies are actually helpful for others. People posting here seem to have a much more civilized behaviour towards their wives than you normally read about on TV. That alone is worth reading through every page.

[louse1953]

If you cant work it out for yourself yet,you are still not ready for the adult world.Let MIL,take you by the hand when you go shopping.

[CWMcMurray]

Always find these topics a bit odd....

If you are a one income household ... Then should see what your monthly costs are and monthly income is and set up a budget...

Any of the bills or things you would expect your wife to buy or pay should be in the amount you should give her along with what ever amount you both decide is fair for each to have for discretionary spending

So for example if your monthly income is 100,000.. Maybe would look something like this...

You paying the car payment, mortgage, electric, credit cards, phone bill... Which altogether is 50,000

She is going to do all the food shopping and diapers and milk and what nots... Maybe that is roughly 5k per week or 20k per month

Then you budget to save 10 k a month

So you have left 20k and decide together this should be used for 10k a month each for discretionary spending (e.g. Pocket money)

Then if she was at work ... Total monthly income is maybe 140k (if she makes 30k)... Then maybe would be similar to the above.. But maybe decide to up discretionary spending to 15k a month each and save 30k per month

If you are married, this is how a monthly family budget should be done(in my opinion)

[davidst01]

^^ Mate, I can understand your feeling.

Sadly the OP just worded his OP the wrong way.

Attacked me ... and then lost his audience as a result of the combined negative comments.

I don't think he's a Troll ... he has a long posting history asking the logical questions along the way.

Most likely he hasn't returned because because of the loss of face.

Simply put, I wish he would return, offer a blanket apology, suck it up (now that is being a man) and ask some more advice.

.

'loss of face' on an anonymous internet forum. You make me laugh david48. I did ask you to try and make more intelligent comments. Please make more of an effort- if your able to that is.

cheers

[orosee]

^^ Mate, I can understand your feeling.

Sadly the OP just worded his OP the wrong way.

Attacked me ... and then lost his audience as a result of the combined negative comments.

I don't think he's a Troll ... he has a long posting history asking the logical questions along the way.

Most likely he hasn't returned because because of the loss of face.

Simply put, I wish he would return, offer a blanket apology, suck it up (now that is being a man) and ask some more advice.

.

'loss of face' on an anonymous internet forum. You make me laugh david48. I did ask you to try and make more intelligent comments. Please make more of an effort- if your able to that is.

cheers

Taking your own advice? Try it?