Extremly Important Warning for Foreigners Coming/New To Thailand

[TheSpade]

Also advice stemming from this is to completely avoid drinking in places that are not geared towards foreigners and getting drunk in the places that Thais drink in, when you are drunk its much harder to make judgements about behaving appropriately - especially important if there's mainly Thais around because you are going to stick out like a sore thumb, and you need to remember that a lot of Thais have concealed firearms.

Nonsense.

These are the places I spend 90% of my time drinking in and never once had a problem.

Thai's keep themselves to themselves and don't bother you even if you are the only farang in the place.

[apiwan]

Just to add.

Tonight at grosvenor place SW1 there's a function room. Not cheap.

Loads of young kids came out then there was a punch up.

One kid got stabbed. I drove round to the turk embassy on Belgrave Sq and told the old bill.

They put it on the radio . Filth all over the place within a minute. I kid you not.

Point is don't matter what class your from. Hi or lo.

You can get shit in any country any place.

It ain't a Thai thing.

[mickjn]

Thanks very much for your advice Sir

[sipi]

You can be subjected to "attitude" anywhere, even in Thailand when it is least expected. My worst encounter was at the new Suvarnabhumi Airport when it first opened. Waiting in the taxi rank with my Thai wife and baby, coped a mouth-full of abuse from a well dressed Thai over something neither of us could figure out. There was nothing in his attitude about "losing face". Of course my wife responded appropriately.

[sipi]

Oh, and another thing. We hear so much about "losing face", and little about "gaining face" which is so much easier in Thailand than most other places. Give your bus seat up for an old lady, 'wai' a monk, smile and say 'thank-you', don't argue over a few baht. When you "gain face" everyone feels so much better.

[EBlair48]

I was told 2 things by and old friend when I first went to Thailand , don't get involved in drugs and don't make a Thai lose face , I though that was two simple rules and I stick by them oh and don't get invoked in a Thai guy arguing with his lady ..

Lucky you got that advice.

I didn't even know about "face" before I went there, its even harder when there's not really an exact equivalent in the western culture.

In the west it's called being an A hole and not admitting you're wrong.

[cloudos]

Thanks OP for the post. I think that this topic is very important as a friend of mine found out a little late (though fortunately nothing too serious came out of it).

He was walking around one of the markets where people would routinely grab him on the shoulder to get him to buy something. After being grabbed for the upteenth time, he swung his arm to get away from the grip in a rotating fashion (not to hit the guy, but just to get away). The grabber didn't take too kindly to that, followed him, and proceeded to throw beer at him. My friend wanted to retaliate, but being alone and not wanting to be a statistic, he walked away feeling like a wuss.

I told this story to a Thai friend, who then told me that my friend should not have swung his arm, and should have just walked off and none of this would have happened. Now, I don't agree and I may have reacted the same way as my friend (or worse), but this is how it is. Whether we think is right or not is a different story.

Keep this in mind, especially if you are new to this country and want to frequent the bar districts as you will probably be approached to see a live show every few minutes, or anywhere where people will approach you because you are a farang. If you don't like what you are offered, just walk away or politely decline. Keep calm and never react physically, even if its only a slight physical reaction, and even if they were the ones grabbing you in the first place. Just walk away.

On this note, never lose your temper against a Thai guy who you don't know, even if you think that they are in the wrong. Don't even beep your horn if you get cut off in traffic. I've read some horror stories about farangs who have had their car damaged just by doing what they would get away with in most other countries.

Of course, you are more than likely to come across reasonable Thais, but best to err on the side of caution just in case. Remember, we are guests here.

Edited September 2, 2014 by cloudos

[ukrules]

So lets get this straight. In order to fit in anywhere in Thailand we need to be quiet and never make a fuss no matter what anyone else does, it's supposedly the Thai way.

Obviously Thai's don't do this as they fly off the handle and beat people to death for just flipping the finger, honking the horn, looking at them the wrong way, etc.

There's a mixed message here, we must not cause any 'loss of face' to a Thai but they can supposedly do whatever they want to us with no fear of retribution whatsoever ?

This doesn't sound right to me, it sounds like a society where the meek majority are shit scared of the violent few who go around doing whatever they want.

[AYJAYDEE]

So lets get this straight. In order to fit in anywhere in Thailand we need to be quiet and never make a fuss no matter what anyone else does, it's supposedly the Thai way.

Obviously Thai's don't do this as they fly off the handle and beat people to death for just flipping the finger, honking the horn, looking at them the wrong way, etc.

There's a mixed message here, we must not cause any 'loss of face' to a Thai but they can supposedly do whatever they want to us with no fear of retribution whatsoever ?

This doesn't sound right to me, it sounds like a society where the meek majority are shit scared of the violent few who go around doing whatever they want.

you chose to live in a country with a corrupt police force that cannot be counted on to protect the rights of the people. so dont be surprised to find that violent corrupt people often feel safe in doing whatever they want without retribution. resist it if you like but dont come whining here when someone hands you your ass.

[thailiketoo]

you chose to live in a country with a corrupt police force that cannot be counted on to protect the rights of the people. so dont be surprised to find that violent corrupt people often feel safe in doing whatever they want without retribution. resist it if you like but dont come whining here when someone hands you your ass.

I thought we were supposed to be talking about Thailand?

[AYJAYDEE]

you chose to live in a country with a corrupt police force that cannot be counted on to protect the rights of the people. so dont be surprised to find that violent corrupt people often feel safe in doing whatever they want without retribution. resist it if you like but dont come whining here when someone hands you your ass.

I thought we were supposed to be talking about Thailand?

it applies to many countries

[Hermes100]

I think the whole 'face' thing is overrated and over estimated and misunderstood.

No one likes to be made to look stupid but westerners are mature enough to accept when they are wrong and understand that its part of life...Asians and Thais in particular just don't have that same level of maturity (in the same way that Children may not)...that is pretty much it....

this post is total BS, forget about the face thing,. yes, 1 in 10000 may get hurt, same everywhere

I have been coming here so many years, never over pay, never allow myself to be ripped off, made a policeman eat his own mobile phone, etc, etc, if you want to act like a sheep then the wolf will eat you.I hate farangs who post ' you must respect thai culture and allow them to bully to you " NEWS FLASH 1- its not thai culture, true thai culture is very respectful and polite and you do not help it, them or anyone allowing bullys to get away with it

2- you do not,i never have, none of my friends ever have, ,,,face? we are polite, but if you overcharge us there is going to be a problem, what will not happen is that we will pay and kowtow

yes,. you may take a risk, but by taking a risk you are not being what basically amounts to a pussy.

Some people just pathetic. why not just bend right over with a sign saying " fxxx me right my ass" and be done with it.

[AYJAYDEE]

I think the whole 'face' thing is overrated and over estimated and misunderstood.

No one likes to be made to look stupid but westerners are mature enough to accept when they are wrong and understand that its part of life...Asians and Thais in particular just don't have that same level of maturity (in the same way that Children may not)...that is pretty much it....

this post is total BS, forget about the face thing,. yes, 1 in 10000 may get hurt, same everywhere

I have been coming here so many years, never over pay, never allow myself to be ripped off, made a policeman eat his own mobile phone, etc, etc, if you want to act like a sheep then the wolf will eat you.I hate farangs who post ' you must respect thai culture and allow them to bully to you " NEWS FLASH 1- its not thai culture, true thai culture is very respectful and polite and you do not help it, them or anyone allowing bullys to get away with it

2- you do not,i never have, none of my friends ever have, ,,,face? we are polite, but if you overcharge us there is going to be a problem, what will not happen is that we will pay and kowtow

yes,. you may take a risk, but by taking a risk you are not being what basically amounts to a pussy.

Some people just pathetic. why not just bend right over with a sign saying " fxxx me right my ass" and be done with it.

where should I send the flowers?

[Deacon Bell]

To put it simply:

Treat Thais like they are a spoiled 5 yr child that needs to be praised constantly and never criticized in any way whatsoever, that has a gun, and can use it without repercussions.

and you'll be fine.

Edited September 3, 2014 by Deacon Bell

[AYJAYDEE]

To put it simply:

Treat Thais like they are a spoiled 5 yr child, that has a gun, and can use it without repercussions.

many of them do and with ya baa , rarely consider consequences

[cloudos]

Most people are not pushovers, and I believe that the points Ay Jaydee makes are valid. Yes, we can chest pump all we want under the guise of standing up for ourselves, and yes, the instances of a local going off his rocker doesn't happen all the time. But, it does happen enough for it to become an issue for us to be alert of, and that is the point. I don't believe in advocating chicken shit diplomacy for the sake of keeping out of trouble, but yet in the short amount of time I have been here, I am beginning to subscribe to the notion that many locals don't like farangs. And yet, I am the one who chooses to be here so I should view this country without wearing my rose tinted glasses. We can use the analogy of wearing a seatbelt. Should I not wear one because the chances of getting into an accident are very slim?

[kandi]

I guess the goal is to find the middle way: keep your own dignity by not letting everyone do with you whatever they want and by knowing when it's better to bite your teeth and let things be. It's a thin line.

[thailiketoo]

To put it simply:

Treat Thais like they are a spoiled 5 yr child that needs to be praised constantly and never criticized in any way whatsoever, that has a gun, and can use it without repercussions.

and you'll be fine.

I would imagine you are rarely disappointed and usually get exactly what you expect.

As a young manager many years ago I had one employee who stood out. Was the best of the best. I asked her, "Lek, you are my best employee; why is that? She replied, "because you treat me like your best employee and I would never let you down."

Edited September 3, 2014 by thailiketoo

[SoiBiker]

The point that the chest-thumping man's men are missing is that it's possible to stand up for yourself without being an aggressive dick about it - and in Thailand you usually get better results if you approach things in this calm manner, as well as considerably reducing the risk that you'll get the shit kicked out of you.

[manxcay]

So lets get this straight. In order to fit in anywhere in Thailand we need to be quiet and never make a fuss no matter what anyone else does, it's supposedly the Thai way.

Obviously Thai's don't do this as they fly off the handle and beat people to death for just flipping the finger, honking the horn, looking at them the wrong way, etc.

There's a mixed message here, we must not cause any 'loss of face' to a Thai but they can supposedly do whatever they want to us with no fear of retribution whatsoever ?

This doesn't sound right to me, it sounds like a society where the meek majority are shit scared of the violent few who go around doing whatever they want.

A Thai himself actually tried to warn me that "people get angry here", I have heard enough and seen enough from when was there to finally realize what he was talking about.

A lot of Thai people have extremely vicious tempers and are capable of insane violence, and if I ever go back there I'm going to do my best never to provoke that temper.

Regardless if it doesn't sound right to you, be aware of what can happen and take heed of what has happened to a lot of other farangs, like that German guy reported on here who got his neck cut open and died.

[cloudos]

I guess the goal is to find the middle way: keep your own dignity by not letting everyone do with you whatever they want and by knowing when it's better to bite your teeth and let things be. It's a thin line.

Agree

[focus27]

I was told 2 things by and old friend when I first went to Thailand , don't get involved in drugs and don't make a Thai lose face , I though that was two simple rules and I stick by them oh and don't get invoked in a Thai guy arguing with his lady ..

Lucky you got that advice.

I didn't even know about "face" before I went there, its even harder when there's not really an exact equivalent in the western culture.

It is the same in the West but you have grown to understand the signals.

Example, a bunch of British guys in a pub in Britain. Take a transcript of their conversations and you'd think they spent all night insulting each other. However, they can tell the difference between a mate 'taking the piss' and someone being genuinely insulting and possibly threatening.

Here in Thailand, you don't get the signals... and they certainly won't get your banter!

[Hermes100]

misbehaving due to drunkeness can get you in trouble anywhere

I think you've misunderstood the point of my post, it doesn't have to involve being drunk but I do think you need to be exceptionally careful in those situations.

no you do not, you do not have to be more careful than anywhere else in the world, thailand by the way is still many time safer than USA/europe which does not have this 'face' BS thing. So, whats going on?

Please,people, stop listening to BS like this,,,,you do not have to smile and allow a bully to fxx you right up the ass like this poster suggests because of where we are and whose nation this is- that is utter crap. And that is NOT thai culture. God, i hate sheep who post like this. 30 years and i and all my friend, who really respect real Thai culture( which does not say its okay to bash somebody if you lose face, and which is very lovely at its heart) have never, not even once fallen victim, or adopted this pussy mindset.

[EBlair48]

So lets get this straight. In order to fit in anywhere in Thailand we need to be quiet and never make a fuss no matter what anyone else does, it's supposedly the Thai way.

Obviously Thai's don't do this as they fly off the handle and beat people to death for just flipping the finger, honking the horn, looking at them the wrong way, etc.

There's a mixed message here, we must not cause any 'loss of face' to a Thai but they can supposedly do whatever they want to us with no fear of retribution whatsoever ?

This doesn't sound right to me, it sounds like a society where the meek majority are shit scared of the violent few who go around doing whatever they want.

And it seems these fear mongers are the first to jump in your face if you have any criticism of Thais .

It's all a load of crap, I think they listen to the young and dumb Thai wives tails too much.

" My wife ( 40 years younger than me) said...."

[manxcay]

All those who didn't believe me when I first posted this thread find me more believable now because of Koh Tao?

[SoiBiker]

All those who didn't believe me when I first posted this thread find me more believable now because of Koh Tao?

Not really.

[mallyrd]

Well, what to say. I have been here for almost 30 years, done sois pat pong 1 & 2, Thanya, cowboy, nana and Sukhumvit 33 and all places in between. Never once had an altercation with either a westerner or a Thai. Don't know what peoples problems are.

[Cypress Hill]

Well, what to say. I have been here for almost 30 years, done sois pat pong 1 & 2, Thanya, cowboy, nana and Sukhumvit 33 and all places in between. Never once had an altercation with either a westerner or a Thai.

Well I guess that means it could never happen to you, right?

[phuketrichard]

I beep my horn all the time :-)