Any funny stories?

[The stuttering parrot]

I just went through the news stories and left that forum quite depressed.

If you read the headlines it's murder rape boy stabbed death penalty outrage warnings etc.

Anyone got a joke or a funny story about Thailand to cheer us up?

A bloke walks into a bar with a lump of Tarmac under his arm and says to the barman gives a beer and so he does.

Then says oh a one for the road!

It wasn't about Thailand but it made me laugh.

Good weekend to all!

[longstebe]

Sh!t ones are always the best.

[RealisticRon]

I've been so depressed lately reading the Thai news that my wife threatened to leave me.
Even that didn't cheer me up.

[Thakkar]

A Thai, a Burmese and a Cambodian walk into a bar. Bartender says, "what is this, some kinda joke?"

T

[The stuttering parrot]

Ha

Thanks

[SickOfEm]

I heard something funny that Scotland was going to be independent.

[h90]

I heard something funny that Scotland was going to be independent.

I heard the unbelievable joke that the English allowed them independence but they vote against it

You can't make things up like that.....Reality is beating it...

[DisparateDan]

if you want funny go to youtube "just for laughs" months of sidesplitting humour

[ktm jeff]

Skeleton walks into a bar . Asks for a pint of beer , and a mop !

[The stuttering parrot]

I don't know how we ended up with Scott's voting I might as well gone back to the news forum.

Anyway what's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scotsman ?

Mick Jagger sings hey hey you get offa my cloud.

Where a Scotsman sings hey hey Mclloud get offa my ewe!

[benalibina]

I don't know how we ended up with Scott's voting I might as well gone back to the news forum.

Anyway what's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scotsman ?

Mick Jagger sings hey hey you get offa my cloud.

Where a Scotsman sings hey hey Mclloud get offa my ewe!

Back to the news forum......at least for me.....

[champers]

What's the difference between Alex Salmond and Walt Disney?

Alex Salmond comes from Scotland and Walt Disney.

[NE1]

The original to that Champers , What's the difference between Bing Crosby and Walt Disney , Bing Sings and Walt Disney.

[champers]

The original to that Champers , What's the difference between Bing Crosby and Walt Disney , Bing Sings and Walt Disney.

Sorry about that. I thought I'd just update it to be a little topical for our Scots brethren; some of whom may need cheering up. Though, of course, the majority will be quite pleased, if only temporarily before they get royally shafted by the English. Again. It is said that there are only 10 jokes in the world and all others are derived from them. If only I knew what they were.

[DisparateDan]

The Irish Friends John FitzPatrick and Patrick FitzJohn