I want the change handed back to me.

[Cypress Hill]

I personally can't take their utter contempt. They are ignorant foolish less than human if they treat you like you don't exist. Stop making excuses for their rude behavior. They deserve NO TIP.

Contempt? What contempt?

[nithisa78]

It is small thing. What is your problem. I've never given it a second thought.

Enjoy your life.

[SoiBiker]

Calm down, you'll do yourself a mischief.

So I figured out how the restaurants work. It's hardly rocket science, is it?

[theoldgit]

Post in breach of Forum Rules removed.

7) You will respect fellow members and post in a civil manner. No personal attacks, hateful or insulting towards other members, (flaming) Stalking of members on either the forum or via PM will not be allowed.

8) You will not post disruptive or inflammatory messages, vulgarities, obscenities or profanities.

9) You will not post inflammatory messages on the forum, or attempt to disrupt discussions to upset its participants, or trolling. Trolling can be defined as the act of purposefully antagonizing other people on the internet by posting controversial, inflammatory, irrelevant or off-topic messages with the primary intent of provoking other users into an emotional response or to generally disrupt normal on-topic discussion.

[thailiketoo]

I personally can't take their utter contempt. They are ignorant foolish less than human if they treat you like you don't exist. Stop making excuses for their rude behavior. They deserve NO TIP.

11) You will not post slurs, degrading or overly negative comments directed towards Thailand. What do you think is " their utter contempt. They are ignorant foolish less than human" overly negative?

[ggt]

At least they brought you your change...on more than one occasion...have had to "remind" them I did not get my change...then get that disgusted look of someone caught with their hand in the cookie jar...reluctant to let go of the cookie...This is Thailand...

[stat088]

There is a fruit vendor I've been buying from for years here.

He was busier than usual but I got in line.

A group of Thais came up and got in front of me, I sincerely think I was literally invisible to this group.

I wasn't going to fight but the vendor didn't react either (I might have made an issue of it if I thought he cared as he's the boss there).

From a business POV, weird, as I just walked away ... not worth the wait.

These things happen here, and yes of course it is a kind of racism. You can't fight it, you can't change the "culture" here on how so many Thais view (or don't view) foreigners. Either accept it as part of the deal of living here or make yourself crazy about it.

Oh well!

Thai's push in front of other Thai's same as they do with foreigners.

[jcisco]

If you don't like the way they do business go back to hellas land, no one is pointing a gun to your head and forcing you to live in some remote village. Nearly all your posts involve bashing Thailand, Greece has some great villages, what is the reason that forces you to stay in Thailand?

I'd say that, in common with many of us, Costas' family life is "forcing" him to live here,although "forcing" isn't really the correct word. Maybe he's spent years rolling over on his belly and accepting all this sort of sh1t from Thais and is now beginning to come to the end of his tolerance of such stupid behaviour. I know that's the route I'm taking here these days.

As far as I remember, Costas lives in the Ban Phai, the next town to me, and it's certainly not some "remote village".

lol! living your life in a society whose behaviour you consider stupid and constantlty complaining and reacting to it! what a life!! lol

Should I understand that taking issue with ignorance & rudeness isn't allowed now in the AYJAYDEE world? Sorry, but I try very hard not to give offence to anybody - Thai or other nationality - and expect similar consideration from them and will often comment on rude behaviour, as will my wife to a lesser extent. What's wrong with that? I'd expect similar reactions from Thai people if they considered me rude and have sometimes been on the receiving end, especially in my early days here. If Thai folks are allowed to comment on what they might see as my rudeness then I'm allowed to do the same.

lol! i love watching TV thai bashers assume everything they dont understand (and it is a huge amount) can be written off as rudeness and ignorance!! and then to live in a constant state of irritation over these invented slights is just unbelievable! what a miserable way to live!!

On that we agree

[SoiBiker]

You'd have thought someone who'd lived here for years would have figured out that things work a little differently here.

[HerbalEd]

I have had a simular problem with the wife. , The wife and i go out to eat together, We both order together. but a few times the waiter has brought my meal before the wife's, I sit there waiting for the wife's meal to be brought but it does not arrive i just sit and sit, waiters come up to the wife and ask is there a problem with the meal, I say yes its cold now because its bad manners to start to eat before your wife, that usually gets a few stupid looks from the Thai waiters and i make them take the meal back because its cold. Is it me .

Yes, it's you. Because the waiter has a different custom doesn't make you right and him wrong. It's just different. Actually the differences are mainly why expats like to live in a different country/culture than their own. Some of the differences are a pain, and some are enjoyable ... but complaining about them is like complaining about the rain. You'll never change it.

[Cypress Hill]

I love these threads.

Drives it home just what a bunch of whinging codgers much of the expat community is comprised of and just how much they contradict themselves.

One minute it's "Thais have a far more profound respect for their elders" ; next minute it's "Thais treat me like a walking ATM"

[mikiea]

I have had a simular problem with the wife. , The wife and i go out to eat together, We both order together. but a few times the waiter has brought my meal before the wife's, I sit there waiting for the wife's meal to be brought but it does not arrive i just sit and sit, waiters come up to the wife and ask is there a problem with the meal, I say yes its cold now because its bad manners to start to eat before your wife, that usually gets a few stupid looks from the Thai waiters and i make them take the meal back because its cold. Is it me .

[Eliot Rosewater]

If you don't like the way they do business go back to hellas land, no one is pointing a gun to your head and forcing you to live in some remote village. Nearly all your posts involve bashing Thailand, Greece has some great villages, what is the reason that forces you to stay in Thailand?

I'd say that, in common with many of us, Costas' family life is "forcing" him to live here,although "forcing" isn't really the correct word. Maybe he's spent years rolling over on his belly and accepting all this sort of sh1t from Thais and is now beginning to come to the end of his tolerance of such stupid behaviour. I know that's the route I'm taking here these days.

As far as I remember, Costas lives in the Ban Phai, the next town to me, and it's certainly not some "remote village".

lol! living your life in a society whose behaviour you consider stupid and constantlty complaining and reacting to it! what a life!! lol

Should I understand that taking issue with ignorance & rudeness isn't allowed now in the AYJAYDEE world? Sorry, but I try very hard not to give offence to anybody - Thai or other nationality - and expect similar consideration from them and will often comment on rude behaviour, as will my wife to a lesser extent. What's wrong with that? I'd expect similar reactions from Thai people if they considered me rude and have sometimes been on the receiving end, especially in my early days here. If Thai folks are allowed to comment on what they might see as my rudeness then I'm allowed to do the same.

NO NO NO, you are NOT!!! You are in Thailand, and this country has it´s own culture, and it is very different from our western culture.... Take a thai person to Sweden and Swedens culture should be valid, not thai culture. YOUR culture has nothing to do with Thailand at all....

When you find thai people rude, they are NOT rude in their own way of seeing things... If you learn that, I think you will have a much more pleasent time here...

Glegolo

So if a Thai person doesn't tip enough or at all in the US I can tell them how RUDE they are, but because they are in MY country they best shut up and not DARE criticize my behavior

Hhmmm; pethaps I'll give that a try

Edited October 7, 2014 by Eliot Rosewater

[mikiea]

dude ya gotta bend a little. bad manners? for who? stay in thailand, do not go to china, hkong, the dish is served when it is cooked. you would be

pouting about manners all & the food would be scarfed up. the world is not gunna bend to you,:-)

[zeichen]

What I find ironic is that I always give the money to my daughter to pay and get the change. She feels so proud that she can do it. I personally wouldn't get too upset if they were nice to my children.

I do think that it was more fear that your Thai was lacking and that she didn't want to get overwhelmed.

What I hate is when my wife asks for the price of something and they tell me in English. I try to tell them that she is the one shopping and not me.

Stereotypes and cultural inclinations are hard to break but I do see Thailand making steps.

[Postmaster]

Yes, its happened to me a few times also. It makes you cross but you have to bite your tongue. Another thing I have found, yet mostly in shops or bars, THE CHANGE IS DROPPED INTO YOUR HAND AS IF YOU HAVE THE LURGY and not pressed into your hand. This occurs particularly with younger staff I've found.

[SoiBiker]

Oh please no. Let's not get on to the actual method of handing of the change. We'll be here for days.

[buhi]

Rarely happens to me.

If the waitress is shy (or waiter sorry) I hand my wallet to my wife or son. When alone I have to pay!

[buhi]

I prefer it when my wife pays, but she gets the money back !

[Ulysses G.]

I prefer it when the Thais deal with each other, but I am usually with Thai people that I can trust and rely on. When I renew my one year visa, the woman at immigration completely ignores me and I don't usually say even one word.

[tifino]

...give back not to farang (especially Ozzie as he (this one especially) known to be not a big tipper))

...give change back to wifey, as she always puts any/all coins and smaller baht notes back onto tray, or in charity/tip jar

Seller, he very smart

[IAMSOBAD]

I'm not married to a Thai and I have no Thai children. When I go to a restaurant they are very nice to me. I am from ATM land.

My comments were to the OP about being invisible.

I truly think they see you. IGNORED is a better word than invisible. Its just a childish game that they play.

Teach them the rules by getting a business card printed in Thai that explains what TIPS means. Leave it with 25 satang. Maybe they will catch on when hell freezes over...or Burmese take over their jobs.

[off road pat]

It happened to me a few times, but my wife always checked the bill and find iregularities sometimes....It saved us a lot of money on the long run.....

Maybe the girl was shy as she would be afraid you would speak English to her and she could not reply...!!! and loose face !!!

Wat the heck,....I'm happy to live partially in Thailand and little things like that don't bother me to much.....:Carpe Diem",.."seize the day"....

[SoiBiker]

Teach them the rules...

Maybe it would make more sense for you to learn theirs?

[GlobalCtzn]

I clicked on this post just to read the whining comments. Absolutely predictable based on the title. You guys did not disappoint - what a bunch of whining crybabies! It is amazing some of you guys can make it through a week without coming apart at the seams.

[whaleboneman]

This happens to me quite often. However, it's their loss as I am a good tipper and my girlfriend is not.

[benalibina]

What you see, what you experience is little more than a mere reflection of yourself.

I have talked this out with some locals.

There seems to be consensus among them.

Referring to the farang, i hear such remarks as these:

'Why are they so arrogant?'

'Why is it that they ignore a Thai when he smiles at them?'

'They've got money, so they reckon themselves bosses'.

'They look so large & intimidating'.

And the like

Tzar

Hmmm.....could it be that your friends are reflecting on themselves too...

[Eliot Rosewater]

What you see, what you experience is little more than a mere reflection of yourself.

I have talked this out with some locals.

There seems to be consensus among them.

Referring to the farang, i hear such remarks as these:

'Why are they so arrogant?'

'Why is it that they ignore a Thai when he smiles at them?'

'They've got money, so they reckon themselves bosses'.

'They look so large & intimidating'.

And the like

Tzar

Hmmm.....could it be that your friends are reflecting on themselves too...

Interesting to note that every thing you mentioned (except the large size) is EXACTLY how many or most (not all of course) Thais of means treat poor Thais or those seen as being "lesser."

They don't however, hold them in contempt (at least NEVER to their face) and only bow and answer "yes sir" "no sir"

You can draw your own conclusion on this.......

[Tuskfish]

Social class is alive and well in every culture and country in the world (well the ones I have been to anyway).

Be the change you want to see in the world. Do you treat everyone as equal?

If not, don't expect it in return.

[Neeranam]

Social class is alive and well in every culture and country in the world (well the ones I have been to anyway).

Be the change you want to see in the world. Do you treat everyone as equal?

If not, don't expect it in return.

And amazingly, a Thai farmers daughter is above a retired civil servant from England.