David48 Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 . I like to hear Stories, Tips and Tricks from people, or people who know people, who have re-located to West. There is a strong chance that Myself, my Thai Partner and our Boys will 'set up shop in the West' ... relocate. She's been to my home town, met my friends, has travelled with my Family, heck, she's even picked her own Football Team to support. Everything looks Rosy ... But it always doesn't work out that way. Sometimes, the containers are backed, goodbyes are said ... only to return to Thailand, 1, 2, 5 years later ... some don't even last that long ... So, I like to hear Stories, Tips and Tricks from people, or people who know people, who have re-located to West. Stuff that you have done, stuff she has done, how did the kids, if any, cope. Was it a disaster or are you living happily ever-after? The good and the bad stories ... sometimes you can learn more from the mistakes! Thanks in Advance ... . 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy chef 1 Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 all i know is it will not work out well- in the long term! she will miss the (original) food,the culture and most her social contacts. hearsaying but I believe it's true.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post AYJAYDEE Posted November 16, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted November 16, 2014 she needs to have access to money without asking you for it everytime she needs to be allowed to work if she wants she needs to be able to have her own friends and spend time with them without you tagging along she needs to get a drivers license if she wants one our kids went to a school with a good esl program and were getting top marks within 6 months and went on to graduate college. there was never one thought of wanting to go back 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post AYJAYDEE Posted November 16, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted November 16, 2014 all i know is it will not work out well- in the long term! she will miss the (original) food,the culture and most her social contacts. hearsaying but I believe it's true.... nonsense 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy chef 1 Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 forgot to report another case. a friend of mine came back to Thailand after 20 years abroad and she didn't fit in in Thai culture anymore...but she was 12 when she left. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy chef 1 Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 (edited) all i know is it will not work out well- in the long term! she will miss the (original) food,the culture and most her social contacts. hearsaying but I believe it's true.... nonsense[/quote you're right-generalization... Edited November 16, 2014 by Crazy chef 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post sipi Posted November 16, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted November 16, 2014 My wife moved to Australia in 2006, and we lived happily after. We go "home" every year to see the family....at my insistence! Tips and tricks. Let her do her shopping at the Asian Grocery Stores in Sunnybank. She'll be happy as. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post neverdie Posted November 16, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted November 16, 2014 all i know is it will not work out well- in the long term! she will miss the (original) food,the culture and most her social contacts. hearsaying but I believe it's true.... CC, Everyone is different. Whilst I can appreciate what you say, people are individuals and some Thais do extremely well outside Thailand. I know several successful Thais in Oz, two of them women who came here for business and a couple that came here with their partners. My wife would be happy to live her days out in Australia and she's more than happy with a holiday back to Thailand for a few weeks every couple of years. I on the other hand would gladly go back home. I believe 'we' have the choice, which might be the difference, some people don't, well not completely anyway. In this electronic world, the wife's closest friends (back home) are never far away, long are gone the days of expensive phone calls and written letters that either get lost in the mail or are irrelevant by the time they arrive. Again, everyone's different, however It does help if the Thai partner can speak English fluently (or the local language) can read, can get about on their own and make friends with both fellow Thais and others independently. No different to foriegners in Thailand really. Having said all of that, my wife doesn't have too many Thai friends in Australia but the ones she does have are absolute gold,I think that makes a difference. It's not uncommon for either of us to pick up the telephone to Thailand either, I even call some of the tools on this forum so I can tell them that 'they suck' in person. The most important thing are chilli's, you need to make sure you can source real chilli's and if you really want to make an impression you should of already started growing real ones......please note, the crap they sell at Woolworths will NOT cut it . They boys adapt easily, they are young enough to do that. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post laislica Posted November 16, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted November 16, 2014 she needs to have access to money without asking you for it everytime she needs to be allowed to work if she wants she needs to be able to have her own friends and spend time with them without you tagging along she needs to get a drivers license if she wants one our kids went to a school with a good esl program and were getting top marks within 6 months and went on to graduate college. there was never one thought of wanting to go back +1 Also make sure she has easy access to local Thai lady friends so they can cook, eat and chat together. Your wife may worry what will happen if anything happens to you. Make sure that there is a safety net for her and the children. It is important that she is able to read/write and speak your home language really well. Get the night school lessons organised if necessary. Make sure that she can easily get hold of Thai veg, coconut milk, spices etc so that she does not miss her food. (Here in Spain it is possible to grow lemon grass, chillies, papaya and that is a real help too). Even better if there is a Wat not too far from your location. Consider buying a mobile calls to Thailand subscription on Skype, an absolute God send. £100/annum Plan nice holidays every year in Thailand. I even know two Thai ladies that were married to Englishmen, had children, later divorced but stayed in the UK. It might depend on how well you help her to integrate. Good luck. PS Think of the money you will save on whitening creams etc LOL 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy chef 1 Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 all i know is it will not work out well- in the long term! she will miss the (original) food,the culture and most her social contacts. hearsaying but I believe it's true.... CC,Everyone is different. Whilst I can appreciate what you say, people are individuals and some Thais do extremely well outside Thailand. I know several successful Thais in Oz, two of them women who came here for business and a couple that came here with their partners. My wife would be happy to live her days out in Australia and she's more than happy with a holiday back to Thailand for a few weeks every couple of years. I on the other hand would gladly go back home. I believe 'we' have the choice, which might be the difference, some people don't, well not completely anyway. In this electronic world, the wife's closest friends (back home) are never far away, long are gone the days of expensive phone calls and written letters that either get lost in the mail or are irrelevant by the time they arrive. Again, everyone's different, however It does help if the Thai partner can speak English fluently (or the local language) can read, can get about on their own and make friends with both fellow Thais and others independently. No different to foriegners in Thailand really. Having said all of that, my wife doesn't have too many Thai friends in Australia but the ones she does have are absolute gold,I think that makes a difference. It's not uncommon for either of us to pick up the telephone to Thailand either, I even call some of the tools on this forum so I can tell them that 'they suck' in person. The most important thing are chilli's, you need to make sure you can source real chilli's and if you really want to make an impression you should of already started growing real ones......please note, the crap they sell at Woolworths will NOT cut it . They boys adapt easily, they are young enough to do that. good morning.... +1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sipi Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 (edited) all i know is it will not work out well- in the long term! she will miss the (original) food,the culture and most her social contacts. hearsaying but I believe it's true.... Having said all of that, my wife doesn't have too many Thai friends in Australia but the ones she does have are absolute gold,I think that makes a difference. It's not uncommon for either of us to pick up the telephone to Thailand either, Yes, yes... Rule # 1 Pick your Thai friends carefully!!! Good ones are gold, the rest can spell trouble. We built 30km out of town to avoid the trouble-makers. And, as neverdie said; pick up that phone, or better still use Skype (or similar) as mentioned. I forgot (hence the edit).. You will really hone in on those budget airfares between Oz and Thailand. And at times the savings can be extraordinary, especially for a family of 4. Edited November 17, 2014 by sipi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sipi Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 Sorry mate, I forgot. Neverdie touched on this also. A garden!! If you need any seeds (chilli, paw paw, Thai eggplant etc) PM me and I'll post some down. My wifes first garden here was simply some good potting mix from bunnings, and she planted straight into the bag (after cutting one side out); worked a treat. We also have some Midnight Horror Tree plants you can have if your wife uses them. My wife eats the flowers (stuffed with seasoned pork), seeds and leaves. You cannot get them in Australia, but we have raised some from seed. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oroxylum_indicum 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post craigt3365 Posted November 17, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted November 17, 2014 I don't think you can generalize on this. Everybody has their own preferences. Some absolutely love living overseas and adapt very well. Some don't. It's just like looking at the reverse. Some foreigners do great over here, others absolutely hate it and can't wait to leave. What were the reasons for her wanting to come back? Family connections? They can be very strong. I know my wife is happy in either location. Her rose colored glasses have been removed and she no longer thinks countries in the west have roads paved with gold, as sometimes portrayed on TV. Though she does talk about wanting to live here when her mother gets older to take care of her. So that could be a big deal for us in 7-10 years. Wifey loves living in the US and we talk about going back pretty much every week. Then we talk about the things we like here and it all starts getting confusing. For both of us! If it wasn't for the extremely long flights, we'd consider bouncing back and forth. But the flights suck! 555555 And I do miss the cooler weather and easier access to outdoor activities. She's obviously not a newbie when it comes to being overseas. Which makes a huge difference. Does she prefer Thai friends when in your country or happy with locals? (my wife never associated with Thais when we were in the US, she loved meeting my friends and making new ones). Does she like the food? (as mentioned above, my wife was happy shopping at the Asian market, and eating international foods). Does she miss Thai TV? (my wife didn't miss that for a minute, doesn't even watch it here! 555) We met a guy who brought his wife to live in the US. She hated it. Couldn't find som tam, didn't have the Thai TV setup, didn't like learning English. She lasted about a year and left him to go home. Again, everybody's different. Best of luck with your situation! 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kannot Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 (edited) Could always suggest doing it for 18 years or until the boys can fend for themselves then return with frequent trips home for Mrs David..suggest its in the boys interest especially education/passport wise? I did this with my Wife with be being the visitor for 4-5 years before moving here permanently, used to come for 2 months then work for 5 Edited November 17, 2014 by kannot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kannot Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 Sorry mate, I forgot. Neverdie touched on this also. A garden!! If you need any seeds (chilli, paw paw, Thai eggplant etc) PM me and I'll post some down. My wifes first garden here was simply some good potting mix from bunnings, and she planted straight into the bag (after cutting one side out); worked a treat. We also have some Midnight Horror Tree plants you can have if your wife uses them. My wife eats the flowers (stuffed with seasoned pork), seeds and leaves. You cannot get them in Australia, but we have raised some from seed. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oroxylum_indicum Be careful getting seeds n stuff into Oz they are quite strict. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kannot Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 all i know is it will not work out well- in the long term! she will miss the (original) food,the culture and most her social contacts. hearsaying but I believe it's true.... Having said all of that, my wife doesn't have too many Thai friends in Australia but the ones she does have are absolute gold,I think that makes a difference. It's not uncommon for either of us to pick up the telephone to Thailand either, Yes, yes... Rule # 1 Pick your Thai friends carefully!!! Good ones are gold, the rest can spell trouble. We built 30km out of town to avoid the trouble-makers. And, as neverdie said; pick up that phone, or better still use Skype (or similar) as mentioned. I forgot (hence the edit).. You will really hone in on those budget airfares between Oz and Thailand. And at times the savings can be extraordinary, especially for a family of 4. Not sure if it still applies but kids under 2 used to go free, but had to sit on parents laps?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sipi Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 (edited) Hi Kannot. New phone do don't know how to "quote" yet. The seeds are in Australia and came from mother trees. Yes you can get fined heavily for bringing in seeds. Kids under 2 normally fly free. Edited November 17, 2014 by sipi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arthurwait Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 Other way round for me, but from a friends perspective in Oz. His wife works in a Thai restaurant simply for the Thai friends, she could probably get a better job, has degrees, but the Thai friends are important to her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thailiketoo Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 all i know is it will not work out well- in the long term! she will miss the (original) food,the culture and most her social contacts. hearsaying but I believe it's true.... Thais living in America 250,000. Philippine people 3,500,000. It is very difficult for a Thai person who is used to a large extended family to adjust to the Western world where the extended family is a thing of the past. An analysis of the posts of the people in this thread Thai happy vs Thai unhappy will yield the answers to the questions posed by the OP. I live in Thailand and am happy with most Thai people and the people who don't live in Thailand are unhappy with most Thai people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rgs2001uk Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 Be aware, be very aware of The Queen Bee, and make sure your mrs doesnt fall under her influence. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pgs Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 David, From what I recall of your posts, you were/are Sydney based? If this is/will be the case: Campbell St in Sydney (near Central) is also known as ThaiTown - the local street signs also show this. So many Thai grocery stores... There are 3 Thai Buddhist temples (that I am aware of) in Sydney - Trafalgar St, Annandale (near Collins St) - although according to she who demands obeyance this is more of a gossip centre & she won't go back, 88 Stanmore Rd, Stanmore (this one was nice - I enjoyed being at here) Lurnea (Liverpool) somewhere - I am aware of it, but not been there. Undoubtedly there are more somewhere... TW had a depressed time about 4 months after leaving home, it lasted a few weeks & happily I've not seen it again. She is now here just over 10 years (less the times she went back home). For all the ones that say to pick friends carefully, I have to agree with immeasurable strength. Of all the Thai TW has known here, only 1 she would bother with after a month - the others would just gossip or out with the daggers. She knew 2 were taking the 'hubby' for a ride (1 was a cop, she was/is a hooker). Mostly they were bar girls (not all) that got lucky. As much as she misses Thai talk, she prefers not to bother with them. From memory, 1 problem we had when she got here was getting though her head that 1THB & 1AUD are NOT the same... Hopefully this is of some help to you & others can fill in the bits I've missed/not sure of. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Briggsy Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 You seem a level-headed chap, David48. I am sure things will work out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David48 Posted November 17, 2014 Author Share Posted November 17, 2014 Be aware, be very aware of The Queen Bee, and make sure your mrs doesnt fall under her influence. Yes ... well understood ... huge trap there. I've read the horror stories. That said, I don't know what the future brings, but, judging by her friends I know in Thailand, she has a eye for a good heart. But, that's an assumption, yet to be proven. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i claudius Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 My wife came to the UK and was there for 12 years ,then packed up and came home ,oh forgot to tell you so did me and our son mind you he cried his eyes out at leaving , but now 9 years later she misses the UK and i dont ,our son ? well he is in university Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussieroaming Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 My wife loves the gold coast and northern NSW and has traveled to Australia about 6 times with me. She loves the weather and the food but she finds the cost of living scary. I can't say that I can argue the point that we live a better lifestyle in Thailand on a dollar for dollar basis. She finds that having access to wifi is all she needs to keep in touch with family and even when we are in Thailand we would only see family once every 3 or 4 months for a lunch somewhere. She speaks perfect English so she doesn't have any issue with communication, which is a great plus. So from my point my wife accepts Australia no worries except the cost of living and I have to agree with her...the cost of living in Australia is becoming rediculous in some regions. Luckily I can live anywhere as I fly in and out for work anyway. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David48 Posted November 17, 2014 Author Share Posted November 17, 2014 My wife came to the UK and was there for 12 years ,then packed up and came home ,oh forgot to tell you so did me and our son mind you he cried his eyes out at leaving , but now 9 years later she misses the UK and i dont ,our son ? well he is in university Your son is in Uni in the UK or Thailand? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post moojar Posted November 18, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted November 18, 2014 (edited) David, I went through this ... 19 years ago. Our eldest was 7 then, and we made the decision to return to Oz for the sake of the kids - for education, health, and future opportunities. It wasn't a term back then, but getting them away from 'Thainess' was up there too. I read many people on this forum who want to live in Thailand and raise children. This puzzles me, seems a bit selfish to be honest - look at all the 'economic refugees' in the world, they are doing it for their kids. And we have that option handed to us on a platter... So I guess that is your decision - what is better for your kids? Your wife will have the kids' interest at heart, so will adapt - mine certainly did. Learned to swim, got her driver's license, learned about equality. Will she fit in? Well, my family fly to town for my wife's milestone-birthdays. I'm lucky to get a birthday card for mine. She has one close Laos friend and they trot off to Cabramatta here in Sydney every week or so, stock up on their stinky food. To keep in touch with people in Thailand she nowadays has a tablet with an app on it that she can talk and send little pictures back and forth. I know the 'ding' of something hitting the inbox well! Will your kids fit in - no worries, they will grow up Aussie (or are you a Pom?) as mine have done, with a ton of Aussie lifelong mates. My son still plays cricket in the local team in his 20s with his old school mates. The kid's friends used to flock to our place after school for green mango and fish sauce, and black beef and sticky rice. I still shake my head at the memory of all those "skips" eating that stuff, LOL. We are now at the stage of planning our retirement, and I want to do the right thing by my wife and spend the rest of our days in Thailand, in her homeland. She on the other hand is not sure she can live back there - says she has nothing in common with Khon Thai now. Ha ha, that wasn't in the plan! Edited November 18, 2014 by moojar 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
masuk Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 WEST? As in Burma, India??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neverdie Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 I don't think you can generalize on this. Everybody has their own preferences. Some absolutely love living overseas and adapt very well. Some don't. It's just like looking at the reverse. Some foreigners do great over here, others absolutely hate it and can't wait to leave. What were the reasons for her wanting to come back? Family connections? They can be very strong. I know my wife is happy in either location. Her rose colored glasses have been removed and she no longer thinks countries in the west have roads paved with gold, as sometimes portrayed on TV. Though she does talk about wanting to live here when her mother gets older to take care of her. So that could be a big deal for us in 7-10 years. Wifey loves living in the US and we talk about going back pretty much every week. Then we talk about the things we like here and it all starts getting confusing. For both of us! If it wasn't for the extremely long flights, we'd consider bouncing back and forth. But the flights suck! 555555 And I do miss the cooler weather and easier access to outdoor activities. She's obviously not a newbie when it comes to being overseas. Which makes a huge difference. Does she prefer Thai friends when in your country or happy with locals? (my wife never associated with Thais when we were in the US, she loved meeting my friends and making new ones). Does she like the food? (as mentioned above, my wife was happy shopping at the Asian market, and eating international foods). Does she miss Thai TV? (my wife didn't miss that for a minute, doesn't even watch it here! 555) We met a guy who brought his wife to live in the US. She hated it. Couldn't find som tam, didn't have the Thai TV setup, didn't like learning English. She lasted about a year and left him to go home. Again, everybody's different. Best of luck with your situation! TVF's #1 moderator & voice of reason. Well said mrC. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neverdie Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 (edited) David, Please stop, you tink too mutt. Everything will be ok Edited November 18, 2014 by neverdie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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