WhamBam Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 You are here (in Thailand) a long time, maybe permanently. You find a woman / man who moves in with you. How long before you give them a set of keys to the house /Condo ? 1 month? 3 months? 1 year? Never? Why? Is it down to trust / mistrust? Is it your place and you want to control her movements? Or do you trust her and give her a set of keys quickly knowing you can change the locks? I ask because someone I was talking to tonight refuses to hand over a set of keys to his live in girlfriend after 4 months together. He locks the doors each time he goes out of the condo and that includes locking the barred door outside the room. Surely that is dangerous? A fire /hazard risk? Personally, after a month together I have handed over a set of keys. Trust has to begin somewhere. And the locks can easily be changed if needed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benalibina Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 Initial trust given is in the eye of the beholder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David48 Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 I got her a second keycard for the Hotel I was staying in ... does that count? That way the Air-conditioned and the TV stayed on while she ducked out to get us food and me, some beer. Maybe, after we had known each other for between 3 - 6 months we got a place together ... the Manager handed over the keys. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post mesquite Posted November 20, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted November 20, 2014 I've heard about these types of relationships where the woman is never allowed to go anywhere without the guy, and if the man leaves the house without her, she must stay in the house. I guess they're afraid she'll immediately go to someone else? Some people don't want a relationship. They want a hostage. 14 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farang000999 Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 I've heard about these types of relationships where the woman is never allowed to go anywhere without the guy, and if the man leaves the house without her, she must stay in the house. I guess they're afraid she'll immediately go to someone else? Some people don't want a relationship. They want a hostage. The Middle East? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mesquite Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 Thailand. Insecure farang with Thai gf. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kannot Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 I gave her 4 keys to 4 condos in the first 12 months of knowing her then another one 6 years later then 2 sets of car keys , she can hardly stand up for the weight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benalibina Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 Thailand. Insecure farang with Thai gf. Projection on self ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mesquite Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Thailand. Insecure farang with Thai gf. Projection on self ? Nope Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post sattahipchris Posted November 21, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted November 21, 2014 In my case just after three weeks, then I returned to the UK. When I came back unannouced nothing had disapeared apart from some beer and now as we have been together for 18 years obviously the trust was well placed. My advice only you can tell, listen to your gut instincts and not just to your heart, you never hear about the happy relationships only those that end in diaster, after they make better reading 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhamBam Posted November 21, 2014 Author Share Posted November 21, 2014 I've heard about these types of relationships where the woman is never allowed to go anywhere without the guy, and if the man leaves the house without her, she must stay in the house. I guess they're afraid she'll immediately go to someone else? Some people don't want a relationship. They want a hostage. I had heard stories of this before too. That is akin to keeping your partner in a prison or like some pedigree pet that is taken for a walk now and again. Until last night I had never met a person refusing to give their partner a key. I can appreciate the trust issues. No-one wants to be robbed of their possessions and it can take different people different lengths of time to reach an adequate trust level, but to basically control a person like this, I feel they must have some real issues. For me, I think that if the partner is going to leave, cheat on you or steal or do whatever, they will usually find a way to do that. As to the leaving part, why keep them under lock and key if they do want to leave? I cannot see what it achieves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eneukman Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 I went back to Scotland for a short visit just after Noi moved in with me. As she didn't really know anyone in the condo at that time, she stayed with her sister in Ban Chang for the duration. I gave her a key immediately after I returned. Coming up to 18 months together now. Alan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smotherb Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Initial trust given is in the eye of the beholder. Time is not the basis for giving keys. Trust and worth has to be developed. Trust that you will not be ripped off--what a lark, how many have even gotten married, had children, and planned a life together, and still gotten ripped-off? I think worth is the more important issue. Does she/he take care of you and put you in the primary position in their life? Is the relationship worth it to YOU? Not just sexually, a true relationship has to involve more than sex. If it is sex alone, why give her/him the key? Leave a plastic chair outside your door so she/he can wait. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueSkyCowboy Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 (edited) Thailand. Insecure farang with Thai gf. Now u guys tell me what to be careful with. I gave her the key, then we got married and now she even pays the rent. Just don't give her the password to your notebook LOL. BTW I met her at her job where she had worked 8 yrs and not in a bar. Of course I know some other stories LOL Edited November 21, 2014 by BlueSkyCowboy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrtoad Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Initial trust given is in the eye of the beholder. Or beerholder? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timmyp Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 I don't like to spend time with people I don't trust. If I have started a relationship with someone, I trust her pretty quickly, and give her keys. I've never had a problem. If she's sleeping at my house with regularity, then she'd have a key. In the reverse, I would expect to get keys to her flat. If she was weird about giving me keys when I need them (because I was staying there for a few days or watering her plants when she's out of town, etc.), then I don't think our relationship would go very far. People who don't trust others can't be trusted. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A1Str8 Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 I have found that trust has nothing to do with how much time has passed since two people know each other. People backstab each other after a decade if they feel they can gain by doing so. Therefore i like to give the keys in the very beginning so it turns out quickly whether i can trust that person or not. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post i claudius Posted November 21, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted November 21, 2014 The wife let me have my own key straight away ,i am even allowed out on my own ,sometimes i even go to the bar for a drink with friends ,and there are ladies serving drinks there!! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tuskfish Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Years ago... I lived in hotel for 6 weeks first Then she helped me find a house and we both had keys from day one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
natway09 Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Buy a safe for anything special in the interim & give her/him the room key. If it starts stealing kick it out & change the lock(s) Never been stolen from once they moved in Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tuskfish Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 I've heard about these types of relationships where the woman is never allowed to go anywhere without the guy, and if the man leaves the house without her, she must stay in the house. I guess they're afraid she'll immediately go to someone else? Some people don't want a relationship. They want a hostage. I had heard stories of this before too. That is akin to keeping your partner in a prison or like some pedigree pet that is taken for a walk now and again. Until last night I had never met a person refusing to give their partner a key. I can appreciate the trust issues. No-one wants to be robbed of their possessions and it can take different people different lengths of time to reach an adequate trust level, but to basically control a person like this, I feel they must have some real issues. For me, I think that if the partner is going to leave, cheat on you or steal or do whatever, they will usually find a way to do that. As to the leaving part, why keep them under lock and key if they do want to leave? I cannot see what it achieves. A friend of mine from HK moved to Germany to be with a guy she met online. When he went to work, he took her passport, keycard and even her diving license because it was photo ID! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BudRight Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 I moved into a new place closer to her job than even she had been and we began to split the rent. That was after three months. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoshowJones Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 If I was a single man, I would not let a woman move in with me until I knew I could trust her, and then I would give her a set of keys immediately. If you cannot trust a woman with your house keys, then how stupid would it be to let her move in with you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hellohello123 Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Damn I need my head checked!!! I read the title as "when do you give permission for a ladyboy to poke you up the rear end" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post AlexRRR Posted November 21, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted November 21, 2014 I would hand over a set of keys the moment she moves in, if i didnt trust her she would have never been invited. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David48 Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Damn I need my head checked!!! I read the title as "when do you give permission for a ladyboy to poke you up the rear end" The Clinic is open. Now, just lay down on the couch, relax and tell us about your experiences from Beach Road last night ... . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nooption Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Thailand. Insecure farang with Thai gf. He should be insecure. You know thai girlfriends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
55bulldog Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Depends what goes on during said amount of time. If s/he has 1) asked for money 2) uses emotional black mail, "you no love me" then absolutely not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strangebrew Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Depends after two divorces and the several dozen girlfriends I just go with gut feeling Not worried about losing stuff can replace stuff. Besides cash is in safe and only I have combination to that. But if something comes up missing then it is bye bye. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frollywolly Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 My door is always unlocked. No key needed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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