Disciplining Thai Children - what's your take?

[Mattbaldacchino]

Not sure how familiar you are with this forum OP but if you aren't already aware of the general population, most of these guys are significantly older than you. Whilst that's not necessarily a bad thing and they can give good advice, many can't even remember what it was like to be 23, and can't understand that guys our age have more to offer than they do, and that the girls aren't as likely to use us as they would a 60-year old.

So when they start yapping on about ATMs, bar girls, brothers in Isaan and other such cynical anecdotes, the advice isn't as relevant to you as it would be to them.

A lot of foolish assumptions in that post.

At 23, what exactly do you think you can you offer a Thai girl?

Ummm.... a consistently hard penis achieved without pharmaceutical assistance?

Ummm I see the foolish assumptions keep on coming. If you think all any woman needs is a hard penis then you are in for some serious learning. Suggest you take a Poll of these 20 something Thai girls and you may learn that many are looking for mature stable guys who won't desert them like their former husbands or partners.

That's a very good point. Many want stability but unfortunately what I've seen in some cases is that the older the man, the more likely the girl is to get bored. By that I mean if a 50 year old is going out with say a 30 year old they may have different interests.

She might want to go out to night clubs, party and socialize with her friends whilst he's more comfortable sitting in a quiet bar with a few beers and his friends, usually expats so she's left out. The way I compromise this is by mutually agreeing that we'll go to the bar for a bit then we can do what she wants, yet others might not see it this way.

The above may lead to the all too familiar scene of the woman having to comply with the man as he has the finances so hes sitting at the bar having a good time with his friends whilst she sits by him or alone at a table quiet and bored. Sometimes even eyeing and chatting up other, younger men. I've had this happen to me where it created an uncomfortable situation. I might have the decency to reject the advances and keep conversations to simple small talk but others didn't and this often leads to tension in the relationship or problems/jealousy between male friends.

What do you think?

[sipi]

I have always been ( and always will be, to the annoyance of other TV forum members) a strong advocate for doing everything possible to save a relationship. But unfortunately the Thai kid thing usually eventually ends as a train smash. Maybe just have some fun as friends.

Sipi you're not an annoyance.. i like your posts...just a little bit lost amongst all the piranhas...

I don't care because i am grumpy by nature...but still realist to keep it balanced...

The TV forum piranhas don't bother me. Have you ever had one of those "foot spas" on Khao San Road? The harder those fish bite the more it tickles.

Yes the balance thing is important. Why stick something out if it is doomed or violence is involved (especially if there are kids)? By the same token it surprises me how often

members post "leave the bitch" over something that can easily be fixed?

Merry Xmas to all.

[rgs2001uk]

Hats off to you, 10/10, excellent troll post.

[Kaalle]

I have never seen a spanking in Thailand, only words.

Yeah im also bothered by the fact that I haven't witnessed any child abuse here, maybe you can open a kindergarten were you beat the kids since the lazy parents wont do it?

I took my licks as a kid at both home and school. I'm not psychologically damaged by the experience like most progressive liberals would like you to believe. Corporal punishment has it's place when used judiciously, and when and where I grew up it was just a right-of-passage as a kid. My parents never abused me, nor my teachers. But I don't expect nanny-state lovers to ever accept that view. Mai bpen rai.

Yes well we have come a long way, electricity and running water and what not. Glad you can reminisce about your childhood before all this happened.

[David48]

Hats off to you, 10/10, excellent troll post.

Who knows?

At least he replies, I'll give him credit for that.

[David48]

Well, gee....your GF doesn't live with her own son (as many thais do), so the kid probably feels abandoned and is raised by the indifferent (you're not my child) family. I've seen it and gone through it too.

Have a little empathy. He IS a kid, and you are banging his mom.

Just give him what he asks for and enjoy that sweet Thai yam yam of yours.

Consider it the "I'm shagging your mom tax"

Everyone's happy....except maybe you. In that case, throw a rock. You'd be surprised that it might actually land on a girl in Thailand. If you're really lucky, she might even be genetically female.

Humm ... this has made my Top 100 weird posts for 2014 ...

.

[Cake Monster]

OP,

From the experience you have written about in your original post, you now have first hand knowledge of the Thai cultural phenomenon called by many " The Little Emporer ".

The girls in Thailand are pushed and Pushed to do well in schooling, and to be subserviant, whereas the boys are treated like the Emporer, and are virtually revered, and recieve very little, ( if any ) chastisement to curb there excessive behaviour and demands.

IMO, this is one of the main reasons for the behaviour and attitude of many Thai males toward anybody, and anything that questions what they beleive to be their right to behave as morons most of the time.

[BritManToo]

That's a very good point. Many want stability but unfortunately what I've seen in some cases is that the older the man, the more likely the girl is to get bored. By that I mean if a 50 year old is going out with say a 30 year old they may have different interests.

................

What do you think?

Apart from sex, drugs and alcohol, I don't think many Thai people have any common interests with most western people.

No common language, no hobbies, don't eat the same food, don't listen to the same music, no culture in common.

Their relative ages are the least of their problems.

How many Thai songs that you gf likes can you sing along to?

Edited November 29, 2014 by BritManToo

[smotherb]

find a different GF without son

For sure, there are far too many without that baggage.

[smotherb]

That's a very good point. Many want stability but unfortunately what I've seen in some cases is that the older the man, the more likely the girl is to get bored. By that I mean if a 50 year old is going out with say a 30 year old they may have different interests.

................

What do you think?

Apart from sex, drugs and alcohol, I don't think many Thai people have any common interests with most western people.

No common language, no hobbies, don't eat the same food, don't listen to the same music, no culture in common.

Their relative ages are the least of their problems.

How many Thai songs that you gf likes can you sing along to?

So, you cannot speak Thai, you do not like Thai food, and you can't appreciate Thai music. Sounds like a personal problem.

[Krataiboy]

It is understandable that since the lad sees so little of his mum, he will be clingy and resent anyone whom he considers is coming between him and the object of his affections.

The same thing happened to me and after 14 years I have only just started having what I would call a normal relationship with my wife's youngest boy.

A couple of other things worth thinking about:

1 All Thai mothers (at least all those I have known in nearly decades here) tend to treat their boy children better than girls and in many instances spoil them rotten. This is because of the Thai culture, which encourages all women to think men are little gods who can do no wrong.

2 No matter how much she may say she loves you, a Thai woman will always put her family before her falang husband or partner and you will ALWAYS be in the wrong for critisising or chastising the boy.

If you can live with these realities and the problems they are likely to cause and you think the girl is worth the hassle, the very best of luck to you - you will need it.

Fortunately, you are clearly not entirely a prisoner of your passion and can fairly easily escape from what sounds a tricky situation - which from your apprehensive postings, might well be a smart move.

[Puyai]

sao moo song, that means second hand.

second hand young woman??

I thought "sao" was young woman, and "sao sao" underage woman.

I thought "moo" was pork!

[jacko45k]

Don't forget your place on her list of importance, somewhere between the family buffalo and the dogs kaka.

You are quite a way down from her kids and her phone!

The kid is likely insecure and needs her attention,and sees you as competition, don't fight that, stay away from it! I see it as a no win.

Wait until he comes to visit YOU........

Edited November 29, 2014 by jacko45k

[transam]

That's a very good point. Many want stability but unfortunately what I've seen in some cases is that the older the man, the more likely the girl is to get bored. By that I mean if a 50 year old is going out with say a 30 year old they may have different interests.

................

What do you think?

Apart from sex, drugs and alcohol, I don't think many Thai people have any common interests with most western people.

No common language, no hobbies, don't eat the same food, don't listen to the same music, no culture in common.

Their relative ages are the least of their problems.

How many Thai songs that you gf likes can you sing along to?

So, you cannot speak Thai, you do not like Thai food, and you can't appreciate Thai music. Sounds like a personal problem.

Don't fink so............I am the same..................

[BritManToo]

Title of thread wrong,

Disciplining your children ... up to you.

Disciplining other people's' children ........ child abuse/assult.

One is legal, the other is to be avoided at all costs, as it's not your business and often it's against the law.

Edited November 29, 2014 by BritManToo

[stgrhe]

The son comes with the package and this cannot be changed. If I was in your situation OP I first would have a serious talk with the GF and also letting her know that I would discipline the son. If the GF doesn't agree I am afraid the future for the two of you looks rather grim. I would most likely walk away.

[smotherb]

That's a very good point. Many want stability but unfortunately what I've seen in some cases is that the older the man, the more likely the girl is to get bored. By that I mean if a 50 year old is going out with say a 30 year old they may have different interests.

................

What do you think?

Apart from sex, drugs and alcohol, I don't think many Thai people have any common interests with most western people.

No common language, no hobbies, don't eat the same food, don't listen to the same music, no culture in common.

Their relative ages are the least of their problems.

How many Thai songs that you gf likes can you sing along to?

So, you cannot speak Thai, you do not like Thai food, and you can't appreciate Thai music. Sounds like a personal problem.

Don't fink so............I am the same..................

[Saan]

I inherited a nice, polite kid who had been brought up by his grandparents. The longer he was away from them the more of a little turd he became. My wife told me I didn't understand Thai kids and should do nothing. I let it go at her behest but then he started to defy his mother and staying out to early hours in the morning. I'd had it and told him he wasn't boss in this household, just a 14 year old kid. I said it quietly but firmly and all the cockiness went out of him. I deeply regret I didn't do it sooner. So far so good, he's pulled his head in and mother is backing me.

That said, he was nowhere as out of control as the kid in your life. If he is going to move in with the two of you I think your life will be intolerable. If he is staying with his grandparents just keep away. Either way you don't sound too committed so just hit the toe - go.

[SantiSuk]

If you love your girl and want a long-lasting relationship you need to communicate your feelings and explain that if she wants a multicultural relationship she is going to have to compromise a bit away from the Thai spoiling tendencies. If she is not prepared to compromise then its curtains. The worst thing to do is to bottle up your resentments away from her.

If you are indifferent to a long term relationship and just want the brat to go away then find a different set-up.

I parachuted out of my last farang woman relationship prior to Thailand - found her continual reference to loving her kids much more than she could ever love me too irritating and indicative of a relationship that could never hit the heights. No regrets at all.

[pitchag]

We stayed in Pattaya overnight after the fire works and had breakfast in a well know English golf themed pub in south Pattaya .At one of the tables was a couple of ferangs with their Thai wives and a couple of kids, the kids ran amok around the dining room whilst we had breafast, after a while of the parents ignoring the kids antic I complained to the parents and asked if the would control their kids while we ate our breakfast in peace, the Thai mother exploded into insults at us in Thai and said they eat there every Sat morning and nobody has complained before, but I did notice us and them were the only people there for breakfast so maybe others had voted with their feet.

After I had a few brief words with her English husband and a few selective words from our wives to his wife they made their kids sit and behave themselves.

One thing I do not accept is to go into an adult venue, a bar or pub and have kids run riot around my table, if I was in Mac Donald's fair enough it is for kids

Spare the rod and spoil the child is very good advice for every family

My advice mate is to find another girl friend because this kid will get worse and you will end up supporting him when he is an adult, Try to find the rare breed of girl an orphan with no kids or extended family they are like gold

Edited November 30, 2014 by pitchag