Any Americans married a Thai Woman in Thailand?

[yankee99]

OP,

Getting married to a Thai is quite different than what you likely grew up with and around. Chances are, you're going to find yourself in a totally different family situation than you've ever been exposed to. Your woman might be perfect in all areas BUT, her family (immediate and far, far removed) may have a different agenda. Because of the top down nature of Thai family structure, your woman will not be able to fight for you, and they will get what they want. These people will take your money, assets, soul and leave you holding the bag. Thai's simply do not see consequences and morality under the same light as a westerner, especially and American.

This website / forum is chaulk full of real life examples of sad and shocking results of a Thai - Falang wedding. Be careful.. I recommend you stick with you own kind and avoid living a life as the 2nd fiddle.

How can you know what his wife thinks? My wife and im sure many others know her husband and children come first. In my case the wife believes her parents are adults and are quite capable of taking care of themselves.

[TallGuyJohninBKK]

How can you know what his wife thinks? My wife and im sure many others know her husband and children come first. In my case the wife believes her parents are adults and are quite capable of taking care of themselves.

My impression having lived here for some years and having seen a fair share of Thai women is that viewpoint is probably more the exception among women/daughters here in Thailand, than it is the rule, as regards their parents.

In the past, I've had to say NO to requests from my family because their requests weren't essential and they might have jeopardized the future for my wife and I.

On the flip side, I'm not sure my wife would ever say NO to her family for anything reasonable, if she had the means to grant their request, even if it meant her doing without as a result.

Edited February 17, 2015 by TallGuyJohninBKK

[gb33]

OP,

Getting married to a Thai is quite different than what you likely grew up with and around. Chances are, you're going to find yourself in a totally different family situation than you've ever been exposed to. Your woman might be perfect in all areas BUT, her family (immediate and far, far removed) may have a different agenda. Because of the top down nature of Thai family structure, your woman will not be able to fight for you, and they will get what they want. These people will take your money, assets, soul and leave you holding the bag. Thai's simply do not see consequences and morality under the same light as a westerner, especially and American.

This website / forum is chaulk full of real life examples of sad and shocking results of a Thai - Falang wedding. Be careful.. I recommend you stick with you own kind and avoid living a life as the 2nd fiddle.

How can you know what his wife thinks? My wife and im sure many others know her husband and children come first. In my case the wife believes her parents are adults and are quite capable of taking care of themselves.

How do I know exactly, I don't. I mean, how do I know to drive carefully on the roads? How don't know not to put my bare hand in a stove? How do I know not to piss into the wind? I guess experience, common sense and observation are what make my statement stand alone.

I'm my 10 years, I've seen this top down, never say no, never confront the parents mumbo-jumbo too many times. Falang men simply don't know what they are signing up for when they marry Thai women. And, it usually doesn't work out as planned.

Good for you if your woman puts you and your family team first. Your situation is the exception to what my observation sees as the rule.

All too often, falang family men get marginalized, effectively pushed out and finally give up or give in. The fellas don't divorce and live a separate life. It's sad really.

That's my 2 pence.

[TallGuyJohninBKK]

After watching and observing how things work here over a period of years in terms of the "Thai family/parents" problems with mixed marriages, when I got married last year, I came to a mutually agreed understanding with my wife that's worked out OK for us thus far.

Our agreement was: I will take care of my wife and her needs financially in our marriage, but it's her own responsibility to take care of her parents to whatever extent they require it. My wife works, so she has her own source of income that she can use for that purpose, and she sends some to her parents every month and does extra things from time to time. But whatever she saves, she saves for her own use and future savings. It's up to her to decide that balance.

Time will tell if this kind of arrangement will work out successfully for both of us. But thus far, it has.

Edited February 17, 2015 by TallGuyJohninBKK