When is enough, enough.

[phrodan]

OK before there's too much outpouring of sympathy and

solidarity for the OP, bear in mind that this is not the

poor, downtrodden comrade fallen in the never-ending

struggle for wedded bliss in this country.

Not so long ago the guy made two very disturbing,

very distasteful posts about his stepdaughter's body.

He's since said they were completely innocent and

denies any impropriety or inappropriate feelings/desires

for his stepdaughter but I remember the mods felt

strongly enough to remove one of those posts as well

as responses to it from some understandably disgusted

members.

Sorry but what kind of man disrespects his wife by

sexualising her daughter?? I don't care if she's of legal

age; you just don't do it out of basic respect for your wife,

4FS.

Sorry but this OP is from anything but quality stock.

Frankly, my sympathies lie with his wife.

Interesting. Thank you.

[marko kok prong]

Luke's bum buddy has used his scathing wit,i have no answer.

I am not shocked. Typical of the kind of fool that allows their Thai wife to run rings round them. What do you think a Thai man would do if he was so disrespected in his own house?

So I'll say it again - you are not prepared to do what a Thai man would do. Go to the bus stop and eff off. Just another self-deluded fool that got found out in the end. And hey - you know it.

Glad you are not shocked ,sir,what are your suggestions, a damn good thrashing,you seem to know a lot about Thai men,pray tell sir,from whence did you glean this cultural nuggets.

[phrodan]

With a mere 45 posts as well,welcome,to the den ,and abandon all hope.

I suppose you think that was a clever answer. Let me try again.

What do you think a Thai man would do if he were so disrespected in his own house?

[phrodan]

Luke's bum buddy has used his scathing wit,i have no answer.

I am not shocked. Typical of the kind of fool that allows their Thai wife to run rings round them. What do you think a Thai man would do if he was so disrespected in his own house?

So I'll say it again - you are not prepared to do what a Thai man would do. Go to the bus stop and eff off. Just another self-deluded fool that got found out in the end. And hey - you know it.

Glad you are not shocked ,sir,what are your suggestions, a damn good thrashing,you seem to know a lot about Thai men,pray tell sir,from whence did you glean this cultural nuggets.

She'd probably kick your head in, your that much of a pussy. Yes, you are correct - by this stage in the game he'd have picked up one of the branches and beat the hell out of his wife and "stepson." Then he would have shown the branch to her dad and told him to eff off.

The truth of the matter is it would never have come to this in the first place. Now here's another question for you. What makes you think that post count has anything to do with knowledge of Thailand? Surely you are not that thick.

[pigeonjake]

the op said he had a step son,,,,,,

[YeahSiam]

the op said he had a step son,,,,,,

He has a stepdaughter too. Go ahead, ask him.

[marko kok prong]

OK before there's too much outpouring of sympathy and

solidarity for the OP, bear in mind that this is not the

poor, downtrodden comrade fallen in the never-ending

struggle for wedded bliss in this country.

Not so long ago the guy made two very disturbing,

very distasteful posts about his stepdaughter's body.

He's since said they were completely innocent and

denies any impropriety or inappropriate feelings/desires

for his stepdaughter but I remember the mods felt

strongly enough to remove one of those posts as well

as responses to it from some understandably disgusted

members.

Sorry but what kind of man disrespects his wife by

sexualising her daughter?? I don't care if she's of legal

age; you just don't do it out of basic respect for your wife,

4FS.

Sorry but this OP is from anything but quality stock.

Frankly, my sympathies lie with his wife.

Interesting. Thank you.

I said she had a nice butt,what is it with you,you keep harking back to it,'disturbing',well not for me,really what are you,i see on another forum ,you are already up there with the most odious poster of the year,hey pal if you don't like the female form up to you,my comments were innocent,and so your in with the mods are you,you have the inside info do you,stop infering things that i did not say,and get out of your sanctimonius preaching attitude.

[YeahSiam]

OK before there's too much outpouring of sympathy and

solidarity for the OP, bear in mind that this is not the

poor, downtrodden comrade fallen in the never-ending

struggle for wedded bliss in this country.

Not so long ago the guy made two very disturbing,

very distasteful posts about his stepdaughter's body.

He's since said they were completely innocent and

denies any impropriety or inappropriate feelings/desires

for his stepdaughter but I remember the mods felt

strongly enough to remove one of those posts as well

as responses to it from some understandably disgusted

members.

Sorry but what kind of man disrespects his wife by

sexualising her daughter?? I don't care if she's of legal

age; you just don't do it out of basic respect for your wife,

4FS.

Sorry but this OP is from anything but quality stock.

Frankly, my sympathies lie with his wife.

Interesting. Thank you.

I said she had a nice butt,what is it with you,you keep harking back to it,'disturbing',well not for me,really what are you,i see on another forum ,you are already up there with the most odious poster of the year,hey pal if you don't like the female form up to you,my comments were innocent,and so your in with the mods are you,you have the inside info do you,stop infering things that i did not say,and get out of your sanctimonius preaching attitude.

If your comment had been that innocuous, the mods wouldn't

have taken the offending post down. You made reference to

being more or less mesmerised by the "jiggling" contents of

the "skin tight jeans". You sounded like you were

rubbing one out while you were typing and that's most likely

why the post was sanctoned by the mods.

I'm most definitely not "in with the mods" but let's ask them if

there are any inaccuracies in what I've described?

[marko kok prong]

Luke's bum buddy has used his scathing wit,i have no answer.

I am not shocked. Typical of the kind of fool that allows their Thai wife to run rings round them. What do you think a Thai man would do if he was so disrespected in his own house?

So I'll say it again - you are not prepared to do what a Thai man would do. Go to the bus stop and eff off. Just another self-deluded fool that got found out in the end. And hey - you know it.

Glad you are not shocked ,sir,what are your suggestions, a damn good thrashing,you seem to know a lot about Thai men,pray tell sir,from whence did you glean this cultural nuggets.

She'd probably kick your head in, your that much of a pussy. Yes, you are correct - by this stage in the game he'd have picked up one of the branches and beat the hell out of his wife and "stepson." Then he would have shown the branch to her dad and told him to eff off.

The truth of the matter is it would never have come to this in the first place. Now here's another question for you. What makes you think that post count has anything to do with knowledge of Thailand? Surely you are not that thick.

No,but i think you probably are old chap,and from your reply,i think you just confirmed it.

[marko kok prong]

OK before there's too much outpouring of sympathy and

solidarity for the OP, bear in mind that this is not the

poor, downtrodden comrade fallen in the never-ending

struggle for wedded bliss in this country.

Not so long ago the guy made two very disturbing,

very distasteful posts about his stepdaughter's body.

He's since said they were completely innocent and

denies any impropriety or inappropriate feelings/desires

for his stepdaughter but I remember the mods felt

strongly enough to remove one of those posts as well

as responses to it from some understandably disgusted

members.

Sorry but what kind of man disrespects his wife by

sexualising her daughter?? I don't care if she's of legal

age; you just don't do it out of basic respect for your wife,

4FS.

Sorry but this OP is from anything but quality stock.

Frankly, my sympathies lie with his wife.

Interesting. Thank you.

I said she had a nice butt,what is it with you,you keep harking back to it,'disturbing',well not for me,really what are you,i see on another forum ,you are already up there with the most odious poster of the year,hey pal if you don't like the female form up to you,my comments were innocent,and so your in with the mods are you,you have the inside info do you,stop infering things that i did not say,and get out of your sanctimonius preaching attitude.

If your comment had been that innocuous, the mods wouldn't

have taken the offending post down. You made reference to

being more or less mesmerised by the "jiggling" contents of

the "skin tight jeans". You sounded like you were

rubbing one out while you were typing and that's most likely

why the post was sanctoned by the mods.

I'm most definitely not "in with the mods" but let's ask them if

there are any inaccuracies in what I've described?

I have to say sir,you seem to have a better memory of what was an offhand and jocular,post than i,,may i suggest sir,your fixation with this leads us to question your own motives from a long forgotten post,which you sir insist on dredging up,maybe sir,it tickled your own reprieved fancy,which as we know with preists and such like ,it is want to do,so i suggest a cold shower ,and a look in the mirror sir,do not tar us all with your perverted dreams,i said she had a nice butt,you sir seem fixated on it.

[champers]

I would not act in haste (and repent at leisure). You are clearly struggling with your conscience and struggling to make a decision. I do feel for you. Just to give a different perspective, I'd suggest a trial separation and see what reaction that gets from your wife. Agree it with her first; if you can. Has whatever it was that made you want to marry her now gone? Also, I think you will have to bend a little and realize that you cannot expect some Thais to behave or live to the standards you are used to from the West. You are in Thailand after all.

[marko kok prong]

I can only say thanks to the posters who helped and to the others well 'up to them' or should i say up them,,but i am thinking some would like that.

[marko kok prong]

I would not act in haste (and repent at leisure). You are clearly struggling with your conscience and struggling to make a decision. I do feel for you. Just to give a different perspective, I'd suggest a trial separation and see what reaction that gets from your wife. Agree it with her first; if you can. Has whatever it was that made you want to marry her now gone? Also, I think you will have to bend a little and realize that you cannot expect some Thais to behave or live to the standards you are used to from the West. You are in Thailand after all.

Mate ,Thanks,it is a awful situation,but maybe i will try what you say,thanks for the feedback,at least positive,unlike yeah Siam and his cult.

[Thongkorn]

To be honest mate just walk away, You will never win a mind game with a Thai, you cannot win if they don't care, and by the sounds of it she does not care. If she cared she would of asked, This sort of thing will keep recurring though out your married life. Either You put up with it or make a hard decision and move on.

[marko kok prong]

Heard the family talking earlier,her old man

"falang bai" he kept saying,silly old deleted does not realise i pay for his retirment,never lliked me and i don't like him,but hay,i see blue sky's up ahead,and a jiggling harris ,yeah siam.

[His Masters Voice]

Charlie,

Thanks for your input buddy,and also Eddy,slapping them i feel would not have done anything,much that i wanted too,we are talking back country peasants here,but what i don't get is i have given them a glimpse of a better future,yet they would rather wallow in filth,it's probably too late for the old man,i guess i should be gratefull he did not have a dump out there,but i ask and ask,and still they seem happy to wallow in filth.

but what i don't get is i have given them a glimpse of a better future,yet they would rather wallow in filth,

What you dont get is, you are thinking like a farang not a Thai.

Better future, what does that mean, upcountry hillbillies who live in the here and now, they cant think about next week never mind tomorrow.

Correct about wallowing in filth, have witnessed it with my own eyes, being poor is no excuse for living like pigs, front yard littered with empty lao kao and Leo bottles, never mind, its just an illussion.

My advice, get the first thing smoking out of the boonies and head to civilisation, I was in the same boat years ago in Buriram, never looked or went back.

If you feel maybe its worth trying, sit the little Lady down and set the ground rules (again) or time to call it a day and walk away.

Complete waste of time and energy, the family will come first, however you do raise a good point, how good it the OPs Thai, how well can his mrs communicate in English?

May well get more sense talking to the buffaloes.

Mate,i think you have just about nailed it,i give up with them,they can have there filth,for me no more.

I sort of disagree.

I'm firmly of the opnion that sitting down and discussing the matter with your wife/partner is definately worth the exercise and pain to do.

WHY? No, you may not change a single thing, but it achieves a number of things for you.

It will give you breathing time to regain some emotional peace and make a rational and emotional decision to stay or to go.

It will give you peace of mind that, if you do walk away, you won't in a month, 6 months or some time later say, in a quiet moment to yourself, 'If only I sat her down and explained my unhappiness with the situation, she might have changed'.

If you have that chat, then decide to leg it, you will feel stronger. Stronger as a man who made the decision, stronger as a person who will have more confidience in your next relationship, accept less crap and let that be known earlier in the relationship.

Personally I let a lot of Thailand wash over me, but I have a core set of values on which I won't be compromised.

So, my humble advice is firstly, find some quiet time for yourself, away from distractions. Work out what crap you will accept, what you won't and some grey area which you can negotiate on.

Prepare to walk. Line your ducks up. Have things packed, personal affairs taken care of , money transferred, a place to stay organised, keys for cars and bikes you own in your name, etc

Then sit down with your wife/partner and demand that the crap that you won't accept and the stuff you will negotiate on be ceased immediatly.

If there is push back, negotiate on the crap that is non-core to you.

Be prepared to walk, 100% be prepared. Make that well and truely understood.

There are lot's of amazing and beautiful Thai Woman out there. If you decide to leave, don't look back.

Take time for yourself to heal, don't rush back into a relationship.

Take the time to find a wonderful person.

You seem like a nice guy, good luck.

[benalibina]

Above poster has written a decent human advice. Remembering in the back of my mind the tone of your earlier posts, my guess is that you must have already done what he suggested. One of those results is clearly visible to read from your OP. You can talk to the cows come home but IMO with these kind of respectless people it will only bring more misery to you. More hope and more emotional time and money to be wasted.

I hoped in the past mine was a swan but it talked, walked and quacked like a duck......too late to realise that it was a ......duck......

Walk away is my advise.......time will somehow heal or soften the wounds.......good luck !

[kannot]

Charlie,

Thanks for your input buddy,and also Eddy,slapping them i feel would not have done anything,much that i wanted too,we are talking back country peasants here,but what i don't get is i have given them a glimpse of a better future,yet they would rather wallow in filth,it's probably too late for the old man,i guess i should be gratefull he did not have a dump out there,but i ask and ask,and still they seem happy to wallow in filth.

They dont care about wallowing in filth, for them its normal, I have staff and ALL of them would rather live na shithole than take care of a place, keep it clean and tidy etc etc.

They also spend every bit of their salary they save nothing at all even though they could easily save half of it.

Personally id chuck em all out of your house and they will call you blackheart forever rather than ever think it was of their own doing.

[thaibeachlovers]

Never hitch up with a woman with a son from a previous marriage - 99% of the time it's a nightmare.

I hope you are only renting the house as your wife obviousy has absolutely no respect for you. Run.

What a bloody nerve, cutting down your trees. Kick him out immediately. I bet the boy doesn't wai you - this shows total disrespect.

Neernam,

Thanks for your input mate,the house is the wife's i have spent some $ on extensions,but nothing i cannot absorb, ,really disapointed how it's all tuned out,but "ce la vie' should have known it would end up like this,not all her fault,but when you realise you are just bankrolling the entire extended family,for the occasional hand job,it's time to go.

Much the same situation as I would be in if the family moved in, but I already know that in that situation I would be moving out and telling her that she could come with me, but only us together.

Seems that you erred by not laying down ground rules at the start. I told my wife my money is for us and nothing for family- the SIL didn't like it, but I didn't marry her.

However, IMO, at least give your wife the opportunity to stay with you, less the family, as it's not her fault you didn't lay down the rules before.

I already had to move once because of her family. We were living with her family in the village, but I had to leave there because of her nephews. In that case she accepted it wasn't going to work and moved with me.

[winnerinsix]

Heard the family talking earlier,her old man

"falang bai" he kept saying,silly old deleted does not realise i pay for his retirment,never lliked me and i don't like him,but hay,i see blue sky's up ahead,and a jiggling harris ,yeah siam.

I think that is where your problem lies. U don't like the old bloke, he can't wear you................ so why the fark is he living under YOUR roof (I know the Mrs owns the place). I don't think the kid is that much of a problem really.. He may very well be taking queues from grand dad? Sounds like the old bloke is hell bent on getting u and the missus to split... Why? I have no idea...

I don't know you... U could be the best bloke to have ever walked the face of the earth, or you could be a d1ck... But that really doesn't matter. what I would be doing in this situation, is go out in the car for the proverbial "pack of smokes" and keep going. Go somewhere in Thailand, that U like... Find a beach, buy a beer and just relax. When you move away from what ever is causing you angst, you are able to see things more clearly. maybe, just maybe, you might see that u really want to finish with this lady... Or you will miss her badly, and may resolve to put up with whatever, to keep her. That is only something you can decide...

If your missus, truly loves you, she will make an effort to fix things.. But as you are aware, a Thai woman's ties to her father, in particular, are very strong, and are very hard to break. Out of interest, is she the only daughter, or the youngest daughter?

Good Luck

[manarak]

Charlie,

Thanks for your input buddy,and also Eddy,slapping them i feel would not have done anything,much that i wanted too,we are talking back country peasants here,but what i don't get is i have given them a glimpse of a better future,yet they would rather wallow in filth,it's probably too late for the old man,i guess i should be gratefull he did not have a dump out there,but i ask and ask,and still they seem happy to wallow in filth.

They dont care about wallowing in filth, for them its normal, I have staff and ALL of them would rather live na shithole than take care of a place, keep it clean and tidy etc etc.

They also spend every bit of their salary they save nothing at all even though they could easily save half of it.

Personally id chuck em all out of your house and they will call you blackheart forever rather than ever think it was of their own doing.

Yes, I'd never accept any family to come live in my house (well, maybe except a sexy bisexual sister).

Firstly it would destroy all intimacy, and second: my house, my castle. I don't make some rules, I make ALL the rules.

It sounds harsher than it is, but at the end, who doesn't like the rules has to leave.

Edited January 23, 2015 by manarak

[tartempion]

Why do you guys stick with a woman who has one or more children from a previous marriage???

You're in for 200% of problems at least, sigh...sigh and sigh.

When I finally decided to agree to move over to her parents village (I would have preferred living at least 30kms away) - we built 1km out of the village - she told her parents they were not welcome in our house unless they were invited. This worked out very well.

We still had some problems with brothers and sisters we bailed out.

Just learned yesterday that the loan shark mafia passed by her mothers house (the younger sister - who lives in the back yard - lost some money again at the local casino) and mother had to give her 100B to pay off her daily due to the mafia. Chances the sis will pay her mother back ever is zero, what a bitch.

Thus family is a problem unless you live at least 100kms away until they die. It would be better for all of us if the mafia would kill the sister , and oh if they could kill the younger brother also, do you want to know why also?

Edited January 23, 2015 by tartempion

[TheFishman1]

Life to short to be unhappy sounds like there is No Respect it you think it worth it try one more talk to her if you think that nothing will change I just pack your stuff and go. Lady's here like fish in the Sea good luck

[redandyellow]

Its unfortunate. It took me years to get over a read head that left a big turd in the toilet - didn't bother to flush .. put me permanently off read heads

pity that

[ThePlant]

Trust 'thePlank' to leap to the defence of the fine specimen of

expathood we have in marko kok prong.

I was attacking little Luke's attack on the OP. Maybe he's got bored playing with uncle Kurt's little dingly dong?

Tell us, Plank - if we

drool over our partners' children from previous relationships too,

can we join your little Rotarian club of er......'betters'?

I care not a jot about your sexual preferences in Soi grindhouse no matter how warped they may be.

[SoiBiker]

So is this the kind of lifestyle we're supposedly envious of?

[krisb]

Seems they have not to much respect for you Marco?

How dare someone who's living under your roof destroy your garden!

I think you getting angry is only a normal reaction and I hope you can sort things out.

YOUR house, YOUR rules. If they don't like it then tell them to get out.

[krisb]

Why do you guys stick with a woman who has one or more children from a previous marriage???

You're in for 200% of problems at least, sigh...sigh and sigh.

When I finally decided to agree to move over to her parents village (I would have preferred living at least 30kms away) - we built 1km out of the village - she told her parents they were not welcome in our house unless they were invited. This worked out very well.

We still had some problems with brothers and sisters we bailed out.

Just learned yesterday that the loan shark mafia passed by her mothers house (the younger sister - who lives in the back yard - lost some money again at the local casino) and mother had to give her 100B to pay off her daily due to the mafia. Chances the sis will pay her mother back ever is zero, what a bitch.

Thus family is a problem unless you live at least 100kms away until they die. It would be better for all of us if the mafia would kill the sister , and oh if they could kill the younger brother also, do you want to know why also?

Sounds like you made a few mistakes for others to learn from?

[Rooo]

Insulting post & justified replies quoting it removed.

Moved to Family for perhaps a more sensible input instead of all the off topic insulting posts.

[steven100]

Hi Marko, sorry to read about your situation. Difficult to resolve but not impossible.

Think of it this way ... if you really want to fix things then that depends on the amount of input you give to receive a positive output.

Action vs reaction ... If you feel you need to give this one more go then I would tell the wifey you would like a serious chat. Tell her your pissed at the way things are and that if they don't try to change then your out.

The garden re-arrangemment by papa is absolutely unacceptable & why the f#*k didn't the wifey tell you what was going on.

Make a list of what you consider acceptable and stress to wifey that this is it ...

You have to decide if you want to give them one last chance or not ....

That's the only way you will fix this situation .... and even then it may not work , but remember the saying

' better to have tried and failed then not to have tried at all '

good luck.